Hire a Carpenter: Christine (1983)

 Hey Film- you're in good company with me.  What a great Year.

Christine was Carpenter's rebound Film from the unfortunate failure of The Thing in 1982.  It was good to do a 'safe' Film after that.  Thankfully, he also made a GOOD Film too.

This is yet another Stephen King adaptation, since they were the MCU Films of their day.  You couldn't take a step without tripping over one of them in the '80s and '90s.  People would break an ankle if they didn't look out for The Tommyknockers.

Now that I've beaten that joke into pulp, what is the actual Film about?  It is a killer car.  I've heard worse King pitches.

Can Carpenter create an '80s Coming of Age Tale with the killer vehicle that was sorely missing from St. Elmo's Fire (which is not about an evil fireplace)?

To find out, read on...

A Car is evil in 1958.
It kills a guy.

That is all.

In 1978, a nerdy guy- Rodney Dangerfield's Son from Back to School- and his Paul Walker-looking friend are just trying to survive High School.

A new girl just transferred in and she's a future Lifeguard.
Thankfully not a future Lifeguard/P.I./Paranormal Investigator though.

The guy falls for an old Car being sold by...the Neighbor from Home Alone?!?

He buys it for himself, in spite of all of the work that would be needed to do and the cryptic nature of the entire thing.

He fixes the car up and soon changes into...a guy who's happy and doesn't wear glasses.

He manages to get the girl- Alexandra Paul with blossoming '80s hair- but is also super cool with his Football playing friend's career ending injury.

Something something Brian Piccolo?  Sorry- I tried, but it is Football, so...

Things turn sour when the Car gets jealous and tries to kill off Paul.  
Mind you, it blatantly kills people throughout the Film, but this one involves locking the door to keep the guy out while she's choking.

That's all you got, Christine?!?

The bully from earlier- who looks like a buff, 35 year old Jim Morrison- finds the car in the Garage and smashes it, along with his boys.

This creates more havoc between the young lovers as he takes this very personally and pushes her away.

Christine can restore herself- in a great bit of practical effects that you have to see- and comes for revenge.

The first one was well hidden, but the second one involves an exploding gas station and this epic shot.

To see the comedy version of this Plot, go here.

Eventually, his friend and girlfriend set a trap to take out Christine.

It backfires, however, as Christine attacks first.

During the ramming and racing, the guy is thrown out the front window and dies from a glass wound.

They manage to run over Christine with a big old construction vehicle, smashing it up so much that it can't reform itself.

...or can it?

No... or can it?!?

The End.

A good Film that deserves its Cult Classic Status.  So, was this a passion project for Carpenter?  No.

Did he still nail the assignment?  Yes- very yes!

The Film has a nice throwback charm, especially the more time that passes since its release.  It has this quality where it could be taking place in any Town and in pretty much any time (excluding obvious technological changes).

The big draw is, of course, the Car itself.  It is a beauty.  I'm not a 'Car Guy,' but I still know a beauty when I see it.  They make great use of it here too, as it goes from worn out car to beauty to wrecked to blazing beauty.

I'm happy to hear that at least one of the Christines is still around and being taken care of too.

If you're a fan of the Book, you have to accept a few changes- like Christine's origin and some of the kills.  That said, I think it still should capture the spirit of the Book for you.

If I find a cheapy copy, a Fiction vs. Fiction will come.

It was a nice surprise to see Alexandra Paul in this Film.  It is just too bad that her final line made her the true villain of the Film...

With the return of Jack Reacher to (Streaming) TV Screens, let's revisit the past...of Alex Cross.  I have both Films with Morgan Freeman in the role, so let's check them out!  Stay tuned...