As we just saw the most recent return of Batman and will soon see the return of Top Gun, why not look at a guy who was in both? Was anyone else a Batman and in Top Gun? I think not.
After Batman Forever, Val Kilmer was more interested in a long-stewing adaptation of the classic TV Show. It was just old enough to be retro at this point (as opposed to mostly-forgotten in 2022). While this Film wasn't exactly a blockbuster hit, it sure feels like a good call to avoid Batman & Robin, no? Ironically, his infamous replacement- George Clooney- once turned down this same role.
In The Saint, Kilmer is a master thief. He can disguise himself as anyone (who looks alot like Val Kilmer). He is sneaky. He is smart.
The Plot is oddly-topical as it involves a Russian Oligarch (specifically in Oil and Gas) who seeks to unify the Soviet Union. Sure glad no psycho is trying to do that today, right? Right?!?
Is this better than you remember? If you were too young, is it worth looking up? Let's find out...
Kilmer grew up in an Orphanage (see Title Card above) that was so rough that he learned to idolize heroes, like the Knights Templar (I guess they didn't turn into eyeless Zombies in this Universe) and sneaking around.
If you think this background stuff will pay off in a big way (like him meeting someone from his youth), you'd be wrong. Oh well.
He uses one disguise to break into a Russian Building...to sneak out of it and get back in on the roof.
By chance, he's found by the Son of the Oligarch as he's stealing a microchip, whereupon he tries to bribe the guy.
Said rich guy doesn't go for it, so The Saint escapes.
He proceeds to sell the chip on the Black Market and, say it with me, he plans to retire after one last job.
To be fair, I'd retire if I had $42 million, as opposed to needing another $10,000,000 myself.
He's hired, ironically enough, by the same Oligarch to steal a Cold Fusion Formula. He's surprised to see that it's not an old lady (who are famously Scientists?!?), but a young one- Elisabeth Shue.
She was right off of her Oscar hype for
Leaving Las Vegas, so a get for them.
He pretends to be a Poet/Artist to romance her and take the formula.
He's '90s Val Kilmer...so of course this works.
He actually falls for her- again, making me think that she'd end up being the girl from the beginning- and wants to back off on the mission.
However, the Oligarch- who seems to know that he was also the Robber from before- pressures him to steal her research.
How much did Nokia pay for this?
Shue tracks our Hero down, since he always uses the names of Saints for his pseudonyms.
She's mad at him, but also in love with him. Again- it is '90s Val Kilmer.
They are then targeted by the Oligarch for obvious reasons.
It all comes to a head when the Oligarch unleashes a complex plan to take over as President.
Since the Cold Fusion Formula doesn't work, he gives it to the President.
He then leaks the idea that the President bought the formula (but not saying from whom).
He pulls the President and the Saint to reveal that the device doesn't work...but The Saint got it working via Shue's notes.
Shue gives Cold Fusion to the World and has, of course, fallen madly in love with The Saint.
He drives off wearing the pin she gave him (aka the Show's Logo) to set up future Films...that never got made. The End.
A fun and exciting Film...to a point. The Plot is a solid one, giving us an origin story of sorts for the character. I guess they felt that we needed this.
Mind you, James Bond started out as James Bond in 1965 and didn't get an Origin Story Film until the mid-2000s. To be fair, The Saint- despite the Bond connection- is not equivalent. He's popped up numerous times, but this is the most famous example since the Show ended in 1969.
That said, I like his origin stuff post-flashback. Him being a thief who learns to do good is a nice journey. They also improved things from the original Script, which had Shue die and a big Action Set-Piece to close the Film. Him defeating the bad guy through subterfuge and hoisting him on his own petard is much better.
The Film is kind of long and could have probably been a tighter experience. At just under 2 hours, it could have been trimmed to a tighter 90 minutes without losing much. Speaking of lost, let me point out the fun voice cameo from the late Sir Roger Moore...as well as someone credited as 'Japanese Video Girlfriend.' Who?
Next time, I stick with the '90s for another Michael Crichton adaptation. As big and great as Jurassic Park was, there was at least one other flop from this Decade. Stay tuned...
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