Immediate Response: The Suicide Squad (2021)

 Alright, so I braved this scary world to sneak into a mostly-empty Theater to see...

The Good

* It fully delivers on the premise- Villains go on dangerous mission and not all of them come back- that the last Film faltered on.

* It is straight-up bonkers at time, with some sudden deaths and unexpected moments.

* The group balance works out emotionally, with Elba trying to be a Dad for a random Portuguese Supervillain (as you do), Cena as the 'mean Uncle' and Dastmalchian as the weird Cousin you try to avoid until reunions.  Also their Dog is a Shark that eats people.

* It's nice to see DC's first big (literally) villain on-screen.  The Starro thing isn't a SPOILER at this point, right?  I mean, they're even on this Poster.

* For better or worse, the Film seems to be an unfiltered James Gunn Film...

The Bad

* …which is going to limit the appeal (as we may already be seeing).

* The silly Title Cards are pretty fun, but maybe a bit too much (which is perhaps a great summary of the Film).

* A bunch of deaths make no sense from either a narrative standpoint or a logical one.  For instance, Mongal fought Superman with relative ease in the Comics, but goes out in a silly manner here. 

* While I think the redemption story as a whole works, certain bits are just kind of glossed over in the process.

The Suicide Squad is everything that was advertised.  That has given us a crazy-ass Movie that will absolutely NOT be for everyone.  It's a tricky niche, so let's see how well it does.

Rare Flix: Phenomenal and the Treasure of Tutankhamen

 Before he invented a Horror Sub-Genre, he was...doing weird stuff like this.  This is Phenomenal and the Treasure of Tutankhamen, a 1969 Action Film (of sorts).  This is the first major Directorial credit of Ruggero Deodato.  If you don't know, he's the guy behind Cannibal Holocaust, an infamous Film that was once banned in 47 Countries (give or take a few).  So how did he get started?  Well, unofficially, he got started with a 'Hercules' Film (big muscle men Films were always called 'Hercules' Films in America) by Mario Bava.  He apparently did most of the actual work on that one.  Officially, his big start is with this Film that appears to be an adaptation of an Italian Comic Book (or Fumetto).  As far as I can tell, they just made up this guy.  Phenomenal is, well, just a guy in a black jumpsuit that fights criminals.  He's basically the stripped down Day 1 version of Batman you sometimes see in Origin Stories (like Batman Begins)…only he never improves on the look/gear.  Does he have gadgets?  No.  Does he have a cool car?  Eh, no.  The only thing he does have is lots of money and a kicking Soundtrack.  Is the draw of early Deodato and a good Soundtrack enough to elevate this by-the-numbers affair?  Let's see...

Some criminals discover that their boat is heading back towards shore- as opposed to away from it- and they get confronted by Phenomenal!

His outfit- not so phenomenal.

In spite of that, he theatrically kicks them all, leading into the Credits which touts his history of catching criminals (in Movies that don't exist).

In Paris, a man crashes his bike on a loose manhole cover.  It was left open by criminals who were preparing to break into a Museum to steal an Egyptian Mask.

After spending several minutes showing them knocking out Guards and failing to take the Mask, the Film throws in a twist.

They were actually Cops testing the Security!

A gang- led by Gordon Mitchell- plans to get in and steal the Mask, since it is both expensive and possibly the key to some sort of magical power.

The latter is a Plot Point dropped up and never followed up on.  Oh well!

While this is going on The Count (who's totally not Phenomenal!) is doing his part, including getting a SECOND fake copy of the Mask.  Guess which one Mitchell steals?

In the first of many betrayals, however, he's killed by someone on his side!

The final part of the Film involves the Police (plus the Count- who's not Phenomenal!) following the criminals- who might have the real mask at this point- to Tangiers.

They continue to betray each other, be it shooting them in the dark or blowing up their car.

Lots of random twists and betrayals continue- even involving one guy who was pretending to be paralyzed for no reason!- as the Police finally close in.

The Count shows up during all of this- not suspicious- and Phenomenal gets involved in a random fight with a Guard (which amounts to nothing).

In a Scene that would be recycled in, of all things, Mitchell, they fly in on a Helicopter to catch them.

As for Phenomenal, he appears in the water as a Henchman and the Love Interest go in after the mask.

Enjoy this still shot from his underwater fight, which is just as easy to see in motion.

With everything wrapped up, they all fly home until they hear a ticking sound...which is just a wind-up toy.

Ha ha- jokes about bombing airplanes.  Alright.  The End.

This one is pretty meh, but oh well.  Deodato would obviously go on to make far more important/better Films.  This one is nothing special.  There's a bunch of Films like this- most notably ones like Danger: Diabolik- and this one doesn't really stand out all that much.  Like that guy, our Hero doesn't exactly excite the world with his outfit.  Unlike that Film, his exploits aren't nearly that interesting.  He shows up, kicks sailors and saves the day.  He's basically Popeye in an all-black outfit.  I guess he's also Batman, given that he's a rich guy, has a Butler named Alfred and fights crime.  It's a shame that he doesn't have any of the cool stuff- or at least the car.  Chicks dig the car.  The real draw here is the Soundtrack.  It's by Bruno Nicolai, who worked alot of Ennio Morricone.   The locales are nice too, to be fair.  You get to see then French President Charles De Gaulle and Rex Harrison (who did not sign waivers to be in the Film).  Other than that, the Acting is no real appeal.  I guess I'm saying this- check it out if you're into fancy Eurotrash kinds of Films, but mostly just get the Soundtrack on Vinyl.  Oh and enjoy Deodatos' hilarious (by his own admission) American name for this one...

Next up, I dig through my pile of random Films for a Review.  If you don't know, I don't know.  Stay tuned...

Quick Review: How to Make a Monster (1958)

 Another Svengoolie Review, albeit one that got delayed.  The more I thought about it, this Film was worth a look.  See why...

In the late '50s, the "Classics' were revived in a few ways (due to them being shown on this new thing called Television).

Outside of Hammer, you got AIP making two 'topical' versions with I Was a Teenage Werewolf and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein.

In a META twist, we see 'the man behind the make-up' as he works on a crossover Film (that doesn't exist).  He also works on the Studio Lot...that doesn't exist (they rented space).

He finds out some bad news- Monster Movies are out and he's fired.

So he does the only natural thing...

Use his special Mind Control Glue to make his Actors his Slaves that go out and kill the Studio Executives that are firing him.

He also does one himself, since, I guess you could only use them once each (for no clear reason).

This all leads up to a big Finale where he brings the Actors (who begin to suspect something is up) back to his place.  In a move that you can't do today (outside of Clerks 2), the final reel is in Color.

What does he have in store for his patsies?  What secrets does he hide?  Will this being in Color matter much?

To find out, watch the Film (but maybe not its Spiritual Remake in 2001).

A META premise that mostly works as low-budget shocker.  The basic premise- a make-up man uses his 'monsters' to get revenge- is a good one.  The fact that it is a Movie about making a fictional Movie that's a Crossover between 2 real Movies is interesting.  I wonder if someone turned down a Teenage Frankenstein/Werewolf Film and the annoyance at that inspired the Writer.  Probably not, but Head Canon is fun.  As a side-note, I wonder how the real Make-Up Man behind those Films felt about being turned into what was basically an evil Mad Scientist?  Honored?  Horrified?  He died in 1968, so I guess we'll never know.  It's also worth noting that the lead from Teenage Frankenstein is back, but NOT the lead from Teenage Werewolf.  Was Michael Landon too busy?  Yes, most likely.  Obviously the biggest thing to accept for this Plot to work with that a guy who does Hollywood Make-Up also found the time to make a mind-control glue.  When did he test it?  Who did he test it on?  I guess we'll never know.  As an otherwise by-the-numbers Thriller, it is fun.  It's not going to amaze you per se, but the mix of Mad Scientist tropes and META Commentary is enjoyable.  Another interesting thing to note is that a Black Actress actually gets a small, but key role in this one, despite being made in 1958.  They also used a Color Still of her Scene for a Lobby Card, despite that part being in B&W.

On paper, it is a truly novel concept.  In reality, it is a fun Horror Film that adds some extra color to an otherwise standard Feature.

Quick Review: The Creation of the Humanoids (1962)

 Alternately Svengoolie Reviews, I guess, since I'd never heard of this Film before he ran it last week.
Is it a forgotten gem or a creaky wannabe-classic?  Let's see...

In a dark Future, Nuclear War has killed most of mankind and damaged the rest.

Over the years, we made more and more advanced Robots- starting at R1s (basically robot hands) and ending with R96s (lifelike humanoids).

However, they are deemed too dangerous and we mostly have R70s, a downgrade...but still effective.

They work with a Scientist- who looks like Count Olaf- to make R96s that can fool the Humans.

Speaking of which, we get the Order of the Flesh & Blood, a group of robot-haters who call them 'clickers.'

If you don't get this Social Commentary, you may be under the age of 10.

The face of that group- The Craigis- has a Sister who lives with one of the Robots and doesn't share his hate.

This seemingly-random woman was pestered by him earlier (before he smashed up a Robot Base) and meets him again there.

She...instantly falls in love.  Why? 

The happy pair are grabbed by some Robots and taken to their Lair.

It's here that they reveal the big truth.  

50 year old SPOILERS ahead...

*

*

All good?

Craigis was killed 6 months ago and remade as an R96.  The woman was also killed a few months later...by a bomb set by Craigis.

In spite of that, the pair still love each other as they learn that humanity will die out and the Robots want to replace us to save us.

The Scientist breaks the 4th Wall to address us...as I guess this was just an 80 minute long 'Accept that you are all Robots' Seminar.

Crazy twist and fun joke aside, I must ask- what's up with the Civil War Uniforms?!?

The End.

A good Film is hiding in here somewhere.  The concept has promise.  It's clear to see why this Film is talked about after over 4 Decades plus.  Creation's big problem is that it isn't good per se as an actual Film.  They just people in a Room about five times and have them talk.  It isn't super-interesting.  The first Scene thankfully has the odd delivery of Dudley Manlove as one of the Robots.  He wasn't a great Actor, but he sure did talk in an interesting way.  The other Actors are pretty dry.  Most of them don't have long Careers and this is probably an example of why.  The Robot make-up is actually pretty nice, to be fair.  They got Jack Pierce from Universal to make them, so it is a B+ effort on a Film that features alot of D+ material.  The Sets are alright, but cheap and few.  Speaking of cheap, the Order walk around in Civil War-style Uniforms.  It was apparently just cheap to get and looked different than a jumpsuit.  For a while, I gave them credit for the social commentary...that they weren't making.  There's lots here otherwise and it feels ahead of its time.  If you could talk these ideas- which still have merit- and make a palatable Film, I'd be on board.  You could even do like this artist did and make the Scientist into Doc Brown with a sole patch too! 

A talky Film that is both cheap...and arguably-inspired.  If someone with money and filmmaking skill could Remake this, I'd be on board!

Poor Bastards of Cinema: The Visitor (1979)

 Even a famous Actor can be a Poor Bastard in the right situation.

In The Visitor, a weird girl with psychic powers is around.  Strange things happen around her, leading this Cop (Glenn Ford) to investigate (illegally).

He keeps checking her out, going near the House...

…and even in it.

A bird (which she sometimes can control) attacks him and makes him leave.

On his way back to the Station, another bird attacks while he is driving, causing him to skid, hit a biker and then crash.

His car rolls over into a Softball Game- getting caught in the wire used to block the back of the field- and his car explodes after a short fire.

In spite of all this seeming build-up, he's just a Cop and does nothing as far as the main Plot goes.

So yeah, he's a big Actor and his part seems big...but he's a Poor Bastard.

The moral: don't go into people's houses without a warrant and watch out for birds.
Also snakes.

Next time, a random guy gets caught in part of a big, alien scheme.  It doesn't end well.  See you then...

No Pods For You!: The Invasion (2007)

 Alright, one last Body Snatcher Film!  This is The Invasion, the 2006/7 Remake/Update of the Classic Story.  This is the last one- so far- and the one that got an Asylum Version.  Weird that I reviewed *that* Film like 10 years ago and only just did this one, huh?  Life is strange and so am I.  This Film was an attempt to modernize the Story (even though the last one was in 1993) and make it more realistic.  Sadly, it means no more Pods.  Before we were forcibly removing Tide Pods from teenagers' mouths, a Studio was doing the same with these Pods.  The Film is another one of those weird cases where a Studio hires a guy (the Director of Downfall) to make the kind of of Movie he makes...and then they get upset when he makes the kind of Film that he makes.  Why is your Film so somber and about people's feelings?  Where are all of the car crashes and shoot-outs?  No worry- they brought in the Wachowskis (with James McTeigue) to shoot a bunch of a new Action Scenes.  To put things into perspective, they spent $10 million on these Reshoots, while the Budget of Body Snatchers was just $13 million in total.  Is the Film disjointed or can you ignore it?  Is it a worthy (and necessary) update of the Story?  To find out, read on...

In a bit that actually fits into the Asylum Version of The Omen (in 2006), a Space Shuttle crashes and people look into it.

One of them is a Bacterial Expert/Geneticist and he gets infected with germs from the survivors.

When he sleeps, the germs take over and make his face look all freaky.

Since there are around 7 Billion people, but this is still a small World, that guy is the Ex-Husband of our Heroine, who's a Psychologist (and not a General Practitioner like in the Book).

She's dating Daniel Craig, who's got some sort of nebulous accent that isn't quite British, Australian or American.

They made sure to market this Film around him, since he literally had to stop shooting this for a day to publicly be announced as the new James Bond.

As more people get infected (but it's the First Act, so it's low-key), the pair have dinner with some folks.

The Sheriff from Robin Hood: Men in Tights (also M.A.N.T.I.S.) plays a Russian Guy here who talks about freedom and individuality.

Some subtle foreshadowing there.

Weird stuff continues to happen as people act different, her Patients report strange behavior in relatives (right out of the Book) and people start killing their dogs (who suddenly don't like their Masters).

Our Heroes figure out that it has something to do with a weird skin sample Kidman found earlier.  It mutates in weird ways that even Craig's future Casino Royale Co-Star Jeffrey Wright can't explain.

The Scientists quietly sneak away to work on a cure (good luck surviving in the meantime, everyone else!).

Kidman is separated from her Son (who is with her Non-Podded Dad).  A convenient man on the Subway explains that she needs to look calm to blend in.

Thought: instead of some of the early filler, let us see this guy and how he figured this out!

The big change here is that you have to be infected in some way and then fall asleep for the toxin to transform you.  If you want more explanation for how this actually works, forget it!

This gives us the big tension hook of the Film as Kidman was infected earlier when her Ex spit all over her.  Yummy.

Can she stay awake for the next few days?!?

Skipping to the finish here, she keeps nearly succumbing to it (even having her kid give her the Pulp Fiction heart-starter once!), since she can't think of a basic medication that any Psychologist would know about.

She has to escape more Non-Pod People and this involves...an obvious Reshoot Scene where she's literally driving a car that is on fire so that she can bring her son to the Doctors.

You see, her son had Encephalitis early on, so he's immune.  There's that ailment again!

In the aftermath, they gloss over how they somehow dosed millions of people- including every World Leader, it seems- and things are back to normal.

These Aliens don't replace and destroy you, so just take a shot and you're all good.

Back in the normal World, Craig wonders when violence in the Middle East will end and Kidman seems to...think about how maybe the mind-controlling Aliens were right?  The End.

It sure thinks that it has alot to say, that's for sure.  Right off the bat, I don't want to seem like I'm being too negative.  No, I haven't been replaced by alien slime!  I think that the Writers and Director wanted to say something about how we would be stronger in many ways without individuality and emotion, but ultimately we would give up too much to achieve that goal.  I liked it better in Equilibrium.  The big problem for me is that I can't quite tell if Kidman is truly against this.  She doesn't want to be an alien symbiote- granted.  However, she seems to consider how 'good' things might be, until her Ex says that her son- as an immune person- has no place.  With that and the Ending bit, did she only really turn against them due to her son being in danger?  There's also some odd focus on people and things that don't really matter much in the long-term.  The bit with the Russian Ambassador is a bit too long for the pay-off of him being turned to be worth it for me.  Likewise, they spend a bunch of time on a Patient that ultimately matters little.  She has 2 big Scenes and is later seen being taken away, leading them to look into her Medical History and see the Encephalitis bit...which matters for the Son.  It's weird seeing that be a shared Theme- also involving a little boy both times- in these two otherwise-disconnected Films.  As mentioned earlier, the push and pull between the Reshoots vs. Original Film are jarring to me.  Imagine if Harold & Maude suddenly had them in a big Car Chase, for (silly) instance.  They also proved to be dangerous, as their Lead and some Stunt People got hurt shooting them.  The Invasion is, ironically-enough, a Film that seems to have an identity...which it eventually loses.  Oh well- enjoy this Product Placement...

Next up, I'll look at a weird bit of Social Commentary by way of early '60s Sci-Fi.  I hope you like talking and basically nothing else.  Stay tuned...

'90s Class?: The Puppet Masters (1994)

 Before you see DC's Film about people fighting mind-controlling alien fish that latch onto your body, watch this one.  It's (Robert A Heinlen's) The Puppet Masters, a 1994 Film based on a Book.  Mind you, a total of NINE Writers (none of them Heinlen, since he died in 1988) worked on it too.  Too many cooks?  I hope not.  The story involves, well, what I just teased.  I've known about this Film for a long time, mostly due to it sounding like Puppet Master and its seemingly-never-ending Series of Films.  Now I actually watched it!  Was it good?  The Director is Stuart Orme, a British man most known for Directing lots of Music Videos in the '80s.  The Writing process was more complicated, as a total of NINE people worked on it.  Notable names include David S. Goyer, who has written some very successful- and very divisive- Films.  The push-and-pull was apparently between the Studio and people related to the Heinlen's Estate.  Would we get a faithful adaptation or a broader, more major market one?  To find out, read on...

A spaceship crashes in the Midwest and seems to be affecting the Residents.

A Government Agent- Donald Sutherland-, his Son- Eric Thal- and an Expert in Theoretical Biology- Julie Warner- arrive to find out what is up.

Also Richard Belzer, which is about how much of a role he gets.

The Townspeople seem to be controlled by some sort of creatures and go on the attack!

They manage to fend them off and escape, bringing a (dead) alien back with them.

They study the creature and find out that it can control humans via tendril that enters the brain.  They can maneuver people around like puppets, hence the Title.

Belzer ends up controlled by one- when it got him is not 100% clear (a pattern)- and tries to escape with data he/it stole on what they knew about the aliens so far.

It escapes and our Heroes have to hope that it doesn't relay the information.

In the meantime, they need to figure out how to stop them!

It turns out that it didn't escape.

Despite them checking people thoroughly in the last Scene, they don't check our Hero and he nearly gets the President infected.

Captured, his Dad tries to break him free.

They figure out some secrets about the creatures as they continue to infect the surrounding Town from where the ship crashed.

A romance between our Hero and Warner is thwarted when a creature gets on her and runs off with her body.

How did it get on her?  Something to do with it being on his cat (from earlier?) and getting on her outside.

How did they stop them?

With guns, of course.

Also something involving spreading a viral version of Encephalitis (since the creatures are 60% brain).

However, one last Puppet Master gets on Sutherland, leading to a climactic finale where his Son shoots him in the shoulder and kills the creature.

Well, this time when Sutherland was mind-controlled by an Alien, it had a happy ending!

In true '90s Fashion, our Heroes walk off in a long shot making (mostly ADR) banter.

Seriously, it's in plenty of Films like Rush Hour, for instance.  The End.

A fun, somewhat shallow experience.  The Film is paced and set differently than other *actual* Body Snatcher Films.  They find out about the Aliens pretty much right away.  This one jumps right to 'figure out how to fight them.'  Of course, to reach feature-length, they still have people constantly fail to protect themselves and get infected.  For instance, they specifically say they can't use the Local National Guard to save the Town (since it was infected).  So why do the Soldiers not do ANYTHING to stop said National Guard when they show up?  Oh right- so the Plot can happen.  Our Hero being controlled early on is a good twist and I'm kind of sad that they didn't do more with it.  Having him break out (admittedly there are side effects) kind of undermined the drama for me.  It showed that they could break out without the worst side effects (a now-free Belzer would kill himself at the loss).  So when Warner is controlled, is it as dramatic?  Not really.  The Aliens look really neat and they work around limitations of the time.  They almost solely use practical effects here (save for bits like an alien door and bits of Screening)- great.  The Acting, as a whole, is quite good.  I wonder what would have happened if it didn't take so many Writers to make this one and so many Producers trying to set this tone.  It's been a long time since this one- why not a Remake closer to the source material?  Until then, just remember to use your best assets to find Aliens, even if it means showing a little skin.

Next time, I look at my second Body Snatcher Film.  Wrapping up the Remakes, it is the 2006/7 Version with added Car Chases.  Stay tuned...