New Streaming: WandaVision- Episode 5

 As another week ends, we look back on the crazy ride that the MCU is on.  What happened last week on..?

The Sitcom World of the Show is starting to crack as Vision begins to suspect something.

What do you mean 'take it again?'

Outside, SWORD is trying to make sense of things.

However, this is a conflict between management and our Heroes as to what to do.

Someone is going to make things worse...

Will Vision learn the truth?  

Can he take it?

Will the truth coming out be too much for our Heroes?

Of course, the Ending is a big one, but...no SPOILERS.  
That's what the rest of the Internet is for.

A fun, chaotic journey continues.  They realized that you can't be stuck permanently in the Sitcom World without it feeling 'one-note.'  You also can't fully abandon it, as that was a key aspect to how the Show felt so different.  So what do you do?  The answer is you do both, but keep things in balance.  Too much Sitcom and it might just be silly.  Too much time away and it's not the Show anymore.  They make the breaks count and they continue to use all of the Tropes well.  The kids feel right here and the Wacky Neighbor is certainly par for the course.  When we start to see beneath things, it gets really juicy though.  The Internet has 42,003 Theories, of course.  I try not to read too much into them, as one of them is bound to get it right- that's just the Law of Averages.  I'm fully on-board here and can't wait to see where they go.  It's a Show that manages to make you look forward to what is new and also manages to look back with good homages like this...

Next time, a new arrival...or is it.  What other tricks do they have up their sleeves?!?

New Flix: Batman- Soul of the Dragon (2021)

 A new Batman Film?  A '70s Homage?  Why not?

Richard Dragon is a Kung-Fu Spy.  

The Film wants you to know that he's an asshole, so he eats an apple.

This guy is an asshole because he kills people, leads a Cult and wants to steal stuff.

'70s Batman is recruited by Dragon to help out.

Why would he do that?

Well, because he was one of six people- that included Dragon- who trained under O-Sensei in Nanda Parbot.

Included in the group are the future Lady Shiva and Bronze Tiger.

Can Batman suit up (for like 2 Scenes) to stop the Cult of Kobra?

Will the combined forces of Batman, Shiva, Dragon and Bronze Tiger work together to save reality?

It's an Elseworlds Tale (unofficially), so who knows?

To find out, stream/rent the Film.

Fun stuff.  The Plot is pretty simple.  Batman learns Kung-Fu, finds an evil to stop and then has to do it.  There's some nice nuance though too.  You get a set of characters that have their own motivations.  Shiva isn't a stock Character going along for the ride, nor is Bronze Tiger or Bronze Tiger.  They each have their own reasons for doing what they do.  It isn't a huge thing, mind you, but it is something.  The Action is the real draw here.  In the spirit of the Era, there's lots of Kung-Fu and R-Rated Action to see.  A few heads to missing- I won't lie.  It is done well and really feels right.  As many have noted, Batman is *not* made out to be the be-all, end-all fighter here.  Yes, back in the '70s under the late Denny O'Neill, the 'Bat-God' trope was not yet born.  As I joked about before, there's not much *actual* Batman in this one.  The Plot- which involves a more James Bond-style adventure- isn't that well-suited for it.  In the Film's defense, they make him suiting up a big deal psychologically and it does provide a key advantage at one point (no SPOILERS).  The Voice Acting Talent really shines here, from Michael Jai White's charismatic turn as Tiger to James Hong's always-reliable performance as O-Sensei.  If you like Batman and want something a little bit different, this sure is it.  I mean, you could do worse things than watch this.  For instance...

A fun, action-packed Film.  It isn't the most complex Plot, but it is a Kung-Fu Batman Story, so who cares?

Lost in Translation: White Chicks

Ghana gives so much to society.
For instance, great Movie Posters that they make themselves.

In this case, it is a Film that someone I know actually likes.

It's White Chicks...

I think they confused this Film with...um, a couple of things.

Why is a disfigured Samurai Cop in the bottom right?
Why is Chow Yun Fat using a Sniper Rifle?
Why do the Leads look more like David Duchovny's Character from Twin Peaks than themselves?

I don't know what fresh hell this is...but I love it!

Old School Horror: The Black Sleep (1956)

 A great Cast does not always a Classic Film make.  This is The Black Sleep, a 1956 Horror/Thriller with some big potential.  The Film is also important for a key historical reason.  

Right off the bat, you have to know who's in this Film. 
Basil Rathbone. 
Lon Chaney Jr. 
John Carradine. 
Tor Johnson. 
Bela Lugosi.  

How many notable names can you get for one Film?!?  As a bonus, it was Directed by Reginald Le Borg, who was behind the lens of a number of notable Films.  Jungle Woman, Weird Woman, Calling Dr. Death (both parts of the Inner Sanctum Series) and The Mummy's Ghost- just to name a few.  

Back to Lugosi, this would- unfortunately- be the final Film that he completed before his death.  Yes, his Test Footage/Random bits for Plan 9 don't count for this. 
So why is a Film with so many Stars/Attractions and a (dark) historical importance so forgotten? 
The Plot involves a mad Doctor, brain surgery and a random-ass Third Act.  To find out how this turns out, read on...

A man is sentenced to death for a murder he didn't commit.  His Doctor friend- Rathbone- gives him a formula that fakes his death and takes his body away.

He awakens as a free and 'dead' man.

The pair are up to no good, doing experimental surgery on people that the latter catches.  They are then drugged with the titular substance.

The guy on the right was supposed to be Peter Lorre, but his asking price was too high.

The 'dead' man is a Doctor and agrees to help Rathbone with his treatments.

His work involves brain surgery and it, well, is a work in progress.

One of his past subjects- Mongo (Chaney).

He used to be a Doctor, but the surgery made him a bit crazy.
His Daughter works with Rathbone, but it gets awkward when her Dad keeps trying to choke her to death.

Lugosi is another Subject, but he's better off- he's just mute.

Just don't try telling Bela (back when you could) that he was better off- he was pissed that he got no Dialog!

As enough time goes by the good Doctor and the Daughter suspect that more is going on.  They're right.

They see the previous subjects and find out that they are still alive, albeit mutated and/or crazy.

They also find out that the Doctor was framed for his crime (shocking, I know) by Rathbone and the 'victim' is still alive.  It's another mute, angry-faced Tor Johnson role.

The show-stealer- an absolutely bonkers John Carradine as a man who thinks that he's a Soldier in The Crusades!  It's like he's from a different Movie!

It all leads to a silly confrontation that ends in all of the bad people being killed...in pretty lame ways.

The Cops arrive and...that's it.  The End.

A Film that should be great.  Basil Rathbone as a Mad Scientist- great.  Lon Chaney Jr as a mute marauder- good.  Lugosi as, well, anything- good.  It's just a shame that the big attractions don't get to do nearly enough.  

Carradine appears so late in the Film that he can't do much more than steal the Show.  He's such a fun, random character that him being in here like this is just plain weird.  He belongs in a big, broad Comedy and this ain't one!  Chaney is, well, that's about all he can really do.  You don't lose much with him here- no disrespect.  The same goes with Tor, although his towering presence is a nice treat.  You get a mute killer showdown that we were denied when New Line didn't go with Jason vs. Michael back in the day.  Even if it is brief, seeing the pair have a face-off is a bit like that 'tease a match for later during a big match' thing that the WWF/E likes to do.  

Lugosi is wasted here the most as I genuinely can't talk about anything interesting he does.  He exists in the background (see above) and that's about it.  What excuse do you have?  

Rathbone does shine here, as he was clearly determined to make his villain more than one-dimensional.  You get the same basic beats that you'd later get with Classics like Eyes Without a Face (got no human race) or the less-classic Mansion of the Doomed.  Good for him.  

The Film is pretty damn dry and that's a shame.  You can have some fun with this one, but...eh, it's just alright.  

On the plus side, this Film is the context for this weird picture you see making the rounds on Google...

Next time, I cover another Black Film.  Will Bela get a second chance?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: WandaVision- Episode 4

 Another week and another bit of trippy Prestige TV.

Oh wait, something a bit different this time on...

This Episode shows us the outside perspective- literally.

We see Monica Rambeau- the little girl from Captain Marvel- and Agent Woo- from Ant-Man & The Wasp- are sent to investigate a missing...Town?!?

Speaking of Side Characters, we also get the MCU return of Darcy Lewis, last seen in 2013's Thor: The Dark World.

She's called in to investigate as well, since SWORD has no idea what the issue is, so it's 'all hands of deck' to decipher it.

She discovers a strange energy signature and taps into the Show within a Show called WandaVision.

That's clever enough to not be obnoxiously-META, but just barely.

We see other aspects of how the team tried to contact those inside the missing Town, which gives context to earlier Scenes.

There's also a big reveal or two near the end, but no SPOILERS.  To find out how it goes, stream the Episode.

A neat aside and a twist on the usual Prestige TV Show Cliche.  Way back when I reviewed more of these Shows that weren't Comic Book-based, I talked about certain patterns.  One of which was the Random Flashback Episode, which often came in the middle of big points in the Story.  American Gods did it for the Wife, The Handmaid's Tale did it for the Husband and so on.  This is the same thing, but feels a bit more organic.  We just had a big break point in the Story with the end of Episode 3, so it was organic.  In contrast, the other Shows would just drop everything and tell you backstory.  Those Episodes were good, but a bit forced.  What they do here which I really like is tie this Show extra-firmly into the MCU.  We get Characters we haven't seen in a long time and they feel like a natural fit for the Story.  This isn't like the old Marvel tradition of having Spider-Man/Wolverine Guest-Star in a Book's 1st or 2nd Issue to drum up sales.  I can't wait to see how this part of the Story and the WandaVision part integrate more.  While I do that, I have to wonder how long it is until this little guy ends up in BestBuy as a Promotional Tie-In...

Next time, a new Episode.  Can I say more without SPOILERS?  See you then...

Forgotten Sequels: Black Mask II- City of Masks

 A Sequel that made it worth going back and watching the original for contrast.  This is Black Mask II: City of Masks, a 2002 Film that I have covered before.  That was so 11 years ago though.  So, if you read the last Review, you'll recall that Black Mask was the codename for 'Johnny' who was part of the 701 Squad, a group of Super-Soldiers.  He reluctantly defeated/killed his old Squad when they broke bad and was leaving Hong Kong to get a cure for his condition.  Well, he's not in Hong Kong, but that's the only thing they kept!  The man behind the camera is Tsui Hark, which could be a good sign.  Jet Li is gone- for various reasons- and a newcomer is the Lead.  To help carry the load, we've got ex-Wrestlers, current Wrestlers and other large people.  We've also got pre-Saw (and Boogeyman 2) Tobin Bell and a pre-Super Capers Jon Polito are here too.  Oh yeah, Traci Lords to boot!  The randomness of the Cast leads to a few weird things.  For instance, Andrew Bryniarski (most famous for being Leatherface in the Remakes) and Tyler Mane (most notable for being Michael Meyers in the Remakes) appear together.  In addition, you get Andrew (who played Zangief in Street Fighter) alongside Rob Van Dam (who is named after Jean Claude Van Damme).  The Plot here is, well, ridiculous.  I'll get into the insanity right away, so just enjoy these cheek bones and read on...

When we last left Black Mask, he was leaving Hong Kong for his cure.

Now he's...been created by some Super Brain Creatures/Aliens and they want him back?
The hell?!?

Mask is going to Geneticists to get a cure for his condition, which is the one thing they actually kept.

The Henchman- Scott Adkins in his best Dr. Wiley getup- kill the Doctor, but Mask escapes...for now.

Now forget all of that Plot and focus on the on with the Wrestlers.

Yep, the main Plot vanishes for the next hour (I timed it).

I know- I'm surprised too, Rob!

The Boss- Bell- and the Promoter- Polito- are giving strange drugs to their Wrestlers.

Iguana- Bryniarski- transforms into a full-on lizard man and attacks his next opponent, before attacking the crowd like a reptilian Bruiser Brody.

Mask shows up to stop him, saving the opponent's Son, but looking like he killed Iguana (who actually just fell to his death).

He continues to experiment on them after paying them off not to complain.

One of them- Lords- vows revenge on Mask and has now gone full chameleon, meaning that she is now a badly-rendered 'invisible' sprite for most of the Film now.

Mask tries to get help for his condition from a new Scientist, who has a weird condition that makes her body seize up when Men touch her.  I'd explain why, but...it's not worth it.

She wants to help him, which is good...because he just got injected with MORE transformative liquid...

The Wrestlers mutate more as well, with them all reaching the forms you'd expect.  Snake becomes a Snake, while Wolf becomes a Wolf.

Others make less sense, like Thorn growing into a black creature covered in spikes and RVD's 'Claw' becoming...this guy.

Their plans to get nuclear material to help them fail, so they go to their back-up plan.

But wait- who's this?!?

It's Adkins, literally reappearing after an hour away.  He's now taking over the group and planning to unleash a bomb that will mutate everyone.

The finale is a chaotic one as Mask fights random Henchmen, plus Adkins and a few of the Wrestlers at different points.

The kid and the Scientist fight someone else, while Lords' Character Arc ends with her death.

Adkins ultimately goes down and the bomb is stopped.  In the aftermath, he rides off with the Scientist and he's been cured...I guess.  The End.

A weird, silly Film.  The whole concept here is just kind of odd for several reasons.  A Mad Scientist is using Pro-Wrestlers as his test subjects.  Why?  Why do it in the first place?  Secondly, we have the whole Retcon of Black Mask's origin.  Does it pay off?  Not really.  We don't find out about his 'creators' here- they just send Adkins out to get him.  Why do all that without a good reason?  The draw here is the silly Fight Scenes and the Special Effects.  On the plus side, there's even more than in the last Film.  On the negative side, they are even sillier and less realistic than in the last Film too.  That slight delay when people flip or land is there ALOT in this one.  On top of that, the use of CGI is prevalent and boy is it dated.  They try to transition all of the time from genuinely-good Practical Make-Up Effects to blurry CGI.  It doesn't work.  I appreciate how the Film 'goes for it' with the crazy monsters and everything.  It just doesn't work as a cohesive Story and is just a series of crazy Scenes.  You can have fun with it, but don't expect anything genuinely-good.  So not counting the Wrestlers I already mentioned (like RVD and Mane), there may be one more...

Next up, I go Old School with the 'Black' theme.  Which Classic Horror Film Actor will I feature next?  Stay tuned...

Import/Export: Black Mask (1996)

 Ha- try and sue us, DC!  This is Black Mask, the 1996 Film with Jet Li in it, to be precise.  The Film is a little bit strange, as it definitely wants to be a Superhero Film...but also not quite.  It has a Super-Soldier (like Captain America) and Li dresses like Kato from The Green Hornet (which the Film acknowledges).  On the other hand, it is all kicking, shooting and...killing Mob Bosses.  I've seen Chinese Super-Hero Films and this is...close.  Anyhow, this is Jet Li as he made it as a big Star in America.  What's funny is that the Trailers on the Disc mention him as 'The Star of Lethal Weapon 4.'  That Film came out in 1998.  Well, the Films from 1996, so screw you, Trailers that were made later to capitalize on his sudden fame in America!  If you like Wuxia (and know what that is), you'll probably like this one, as there are wire spots galore!  Sadly, my DVD only has the English Dub on it, so I have to listen to Not Jet Li throughout the Film.  To find out what happens in this Film, read on...

Unit 701 are a bunch of Soldiers given experimental treatments to make them super-human.

Under the guide of their Leader (Li), they all escape as the Opening Title literally explodes onto the screen (see above).

About a year later, Li is working in a Library (like some sort of weirdo) and trying to do nothing with his super-skills and power.

In the Dub, his name is Johnny.  Sure...

Mob Bosses are suddenly targeted by highly-skilled Military men and killed.

This includes an oddly-dark bit where they use sprinklers that shoot out neon-colored acid that kills the goons.  Damn!

Li realizes who is behind it after the next incident- where a bomb is planted inside of the surviving Mob Boss- and knows that he must suit up to stop them.

So he becomes Black Mask, since, you know, he's wearing a black mask.

Creativity is not one of his Super Powers.

The Leader of the group is this Cult Leader-looking guy who has them taking out the Criminals to take over and establish order.

Of course, commit mass murder to create peace.  It worked out well for Ozymandius!

Li also has a Love Interest from his job (after a really dated joke about them thinking Li was gay) and she gets caught in the literal crossfire.

He...um, kidnaps her for her own safety...which I guess is okay because he lets her play Sega Saturn.

This Sub-Plot improves over time...

Li gave too much away when he tried to help his Cop friend from the explosion and the tension blows off in a weird fight in a Cemetery.

He convinces him to work together, arguing that the Cop couldn't handle one of him, as opposed to the half-dozen remaining 701 Members.

Of course, the Detective is no match for the bad guys and gets captured.

I mean, he's no Super-Soldier, after all.

It all leads to the big battle between Li and the remaining 701 Members, culminating in a multi-tiered fight against the Boss (like a Video Game where the guy has multiple forms/jumps around).

Naturally, he wins and leaves Hong Kong via Freight Liner to find a cure for his affliction.  Oh yeah, his Powers also mean that he'll die sooner...not that it came up much in the Film.  The End.

A rather silly, but also serious Film.  The whole concept- good Super Soldier stops bad Super Soldier- is solid enough.  One issue is that the heavy lifting story-wise is done by Jet Li (or, in this case, his English dub Voice Actor).  He's not, you know, the best at dramatic acting.  To be fair, as noted, I am watching the Dubbed Version and can only judge *those* Voice Actors and not the original ones.  It's hard to imagine that everyone was, you know, Lawrence Olivier in their native Chinese, of course.  This Film is all about Action and it certainly delivers.  It's just crazy enough to still look real...to a point.  With Wire Work, there's sometimes a slight delay when some flips or jumps that takes you out.  They mostly avoid it, but there are a few sparing moments that look fake.  Less believable are the explosions, which will blow up a whole floor of a Hospital...but only leave a small cut on the Policeman's head.  Was he wearing invisible armor?!?  Later, a guy blows up while holding onto his shoulder and he barely flinches, so...um, I've got nothing.  As I noted before, some attempts at Comedy didn't age too well.  One bit has the Cop and Li talking, leading the Co-Workers to just deciding that Li must be Gay.  Later on, the Love Interest straight up attacks the Cop- who no-sells it- for 'taking Li.'  So yeah...that's a no on that one.  All in all though, the Film is loveably-dated in many ways and kind of fun.  I'd like to see a non-dubbed version at some point.  To see the man behind it all, you just need to actually read the Credits...

Next time, I cover the 2nd Film...again.  I've been doing this long enough to be better, so...why not?  Stay tuned...