Quick Reviews: Rifftrax vs. Edgewood Studios

Another shout-out to Tubi for helping me watch 2 out of 3 of these ones.

So Edgewood Studios is the company most famous for giving us Time Chasers.  They made alot more and, well, here are 3 of the 4 Films that Rifftrax has also covered...

First up, their Sci-Fi Horror Film...

The Plot: A bunch of people are stranded after a plane crash by a Barn/Cave full of mutant spiders.

Thoughts: It is a weird mix of silly and strange.  It tries to be a quirky Sci-Fi/Horror/Action Film and is mostly just weird.  The Effects are ambitious, but pretty laughable.  It also looks the most dated, despite being the most recent Film on the list (2003).  I seriously did a double-take when I read that!

Next up, an Action Film with some serious Casting issues...

The Plot: A spy is thrown in jail after collateral damage from a mission that he was betrayed during.  He flees town and, conveniently enough, runs into an operation that connects back to said betrayers.

Thoughts: Both ambitious and cheap.  This guy as our Lead is the biggest problem.  There's a fine line between 'unassuming enough to be a spy' and 'there's no way that this guy is a spy.'  All of the Films problems revolve around this issue, making it hard to buy any of this.  Naturally, he also wrote the Film (and his only other Starring Role).  On the plus side, two Time Chasers Actors get cameos...

Last but not least, a 2000 Action Film with a surprising Lead...

The Plot: Billy Ray Cyrus (!!!) plays a former-CIA Operative pulled back in for one last mission.  Naturally, it has personal stakes and he has to rise to the occasion.

Thoughts: It doesn't work, but it at least works more than Pressure Point.  He looks like he could do the Stunts.  That said, he can't really act.  The Plot is also *very* similar to the second half of Point, even reusing the same Town.  I guess they assumed that you wouldn't be dumb enough to watch both Films.  Self burn!  It's a weird mix of a generic Action Film and The Howling VII, which is not a compliment.

These were all fun- especially watching the latter two with Bob- and I look forward to once more jumping into the fray...

Cheap Films that deliver a cheap laugh or two.  Thank you for that, Rifftrax.

Quick Reviews: Kickboxer- Retaliation

As the year comes to a close, I need to clear out my Netflix Queue.  This is one I picked based on the sheer randomness of the star power...

Our hero is back in America after surviving his fight with Po (Batista) in the last Film.

Faster than you can say 'What was the point of showing this MMA Fight,' he is kidnapped and taken back.

The man behind it is a crazy billionaire played by Richard Lynch.

Wait- he died in 2012 and this was shot in 2016.  Oh no...

That's Christopher Lambert?!?!?!?

...anyways, he is mad that our hero left after killing his big draw.  His new draw- The Mountain- is an even-larger version of Ivan Drago, complete with all of those steroids.

Trapped in Prison until he agrees to fight, our hero meets a slew of random people including a Southern UFC fighter, a Brazilian Soccer Player and...Mike Tyson.

I guess Mike Piazza, Lawrence Taylor and Pele were busy.

Can he withstand all of the training he'll need to win this fight (but not the last fight he won easily)?

Will the final battle top the last Film's?  Will he topple The Mountain?  Could this shot be more epic?

To find out, watch the Film on Netflix like I did.

A curious mix of old and new.  The Film is definitely aware of what an '80s Film should be like.  It probably helps that the Director is Dimitri Logothetis, the man behind Slaughterhouse Rock.  For better or worse, this often feels like a somewhat-updated throwback Film.  It made sure to keep the casual misogyny of the '80s too.  Without SPOILing too much, the Film has two Female Leads (not counting the Sexy Assassins).  One gets to fight for about 20 seconds (but not win), while the other is just there to drive the Plot.  Agency- what's that?  Besides that, the Film is mostly a series of random teases.  You get a brief fight with Tyson against our hero, one against Van Damme and than a random Lambert sword fight against Van Damme.  Speaking of Van Damme, he tries for understated and cool, but mostly just sounds like he's giving about 20% all the time.  The Film feels like it was made for people with ADHD too, as they must have a fight scene every 4-6 minutes.  The Lead is alternately a great fighter (dispatching no names with ease) and one who needs to learn a dozen brand new styles.  For instance, he loses a fight to Tyson to show that he needs to train.  No offense, but I'm supposed to buy that a 51-year old Tyson (who retired in 2005) can beat a 36-year old Moussi (who played Nightmare Batman on Titans!)?  Sure.  It isn't a great Film.  It is fun.  It has good moments.  It can be epic, but it can also be over-the-top (not always in a good way) and silly.  At least one guy gets to do his signature happy Acting...

A pretty entertaining, if shallow Film.  It definitely wants you to think that it has heart and some deeper meaning, but it's just an excuse for lots of kicking and punching.

*Holiday* Quick Reviews: Overlord (2018)

Another Film that tells a side-story that affects the D-Day Invasion.  Is this Body Horror Film a missed gem or something to bury in a Bunker?

On the eve of D-Day, a group of Soldiers are sent into Occupied France to take out a Church Tower to help the air support.

The Film really nails the chaos of War as our Hero falls through the chaos trying just to survive.

Him and his comrades try to make it on foot, but the journey is far from easy.

In the French Village, our Hero sees people being taken into the basement of the Church and something strange is going on.

They decide to politely ask one of the men to explain it to them while they hide out at a woman's house.

Another Game of Thrones Actor- check.  Spotting these guys and gals is like a really slow drinking game!

What they find inside is too crazy and strange to believed.

Mind you, this is from a time where people *willingly* watched Punch & Judy Shows, so it must be odd!

Will the threat be too much for them?  Can they save the day?

To find out, watch the Film.  It's on VOD, DVD and other acronyms.

A salute to our Troops...but mostly to VFX People.  The Film doesn't have the most complicated Plot.  They add lots of little nuances- like each Soldier having a Character Arc- but it's mostly window-dressing.  What the Film really amounts to is a setup for some freaky effects, mad science and gore.  It takes a bit to get to the big moment, so don't go in expecting an immediate payoff.  Without the big moments, the Film would still actually be a decent Action Film/Drama too.  You care more about these Characters than you expect, making the stakes higher.  The Acting is good here too, with even at least being engaging.  Obviously some of them have more to do and thus more chance to shine.  The big showcase here, as mentioned, is given to the effects.  When things get crazy, they get crazy really quickly!  The visuals are quite inspired and match up well to other Body Horror Films.  In a way, this reminds me of other Films that have, strangely enough, covered similar ground.  The Devil's Rock, for instance, was also built around D-Day, but featured a freaky demon-lady.  Frankenstein's Army featured Nazis, mad science and other crazy transformations.  Of the three, this is arguably the best.  Besides being a salute to the Troops, this is also a salute to That Guy/Girl Actors.  For instance, enjoy Bokeem Woodbine in this (while you can)...

A crazy and overlooked Film that never quite got a chance in Theaters.  Do yourself a favor and enlist for your chance to decide for yourself!

Poor Bastards of Cinema: The Quatermass Experiment

I haven't celebrated the random, mostly-pointless death of ancillary characters in a while!

In The Quatermass Experiment, the lone survivor of, well, it goes to find some drugs to help himself out.

Naturally, he goes to see a Chemist(s).

The *Pharmacist* sees the obviously messed-up man and tries to help him.

Of course, he doesn't know that he's the host for a freaky alien.

Okay, NOW he knows.

So he's dead.

Oh well, the guy got some drugs, so it was all worth it.
Wait...

The moral: don't deal drugs.  No exceptions for Pharmacists or Doctors!

Next up, I might as well do the other induction from this Film that I missed.  It's going to be a fun night out at the...ooh, nasty!

Streaming Standard: Stranger Things- Season 3

Even though it dropped right around my Birthday, I didn't commit to watching it until the end of October.

Why rush to see it when the wait is going to be that much longer?

Now that I've seen it, here's the usual summary and commentary...

It has been many months since Season 2 ended and it is now Summer!

Time to enjoy the sun and sights, especially with a new Mall in town!

Unfortunately, the Show would be quite boring if nothing happened.

As such, a creature starts to form and a mystery involving magnets is uncovered.

A mystery about magnets?  Quick- call the Insane Clown Posse!

In typical fashion, they find a creative way to split the group up for most of the Episodes.

In this case, Dustin is trying to uncover the mystery of Starcourt Mall with some friends- old and new.

Can they uncover the dark secret of what is happening to people in Town?

Will the evil of the Mind Flayer be too much for even Eleven to handle?

To find out, stream the Show.  Season 4 is filming now, so enjoy the slightly-shorter wait.

Another solid Season of binge-worthy 'TV.'  For the record, I watched it faster than normal for me- one Episode a day over around a week.  I took a slight break before the finale, of course, but I definitely rushed it for October.  As far as the Show goes, I liked it quite a bit.  We get a wide group of Characters and locations, keeping it constantly fresh.  Some Characters seem to be important and then just kind of vanish.  It's also interesting how many people- who mostly aren't named- end up dead and it is barely-mentioned.  I could easily do a Poor Bastards of Cinema on this Show.  The main Characters, in contrast, are put into constant danger and usually make it out just fine.  We know that they won't kill them off, but the Writers manage to put them right to the edge to make you think 'well, maybe I'm wrong.'  It's quite well-done.  As noted, they separate the Cast into sections, but it definitely works better than in Arrested Development.  In this case, they have enough Plot to make this work.  They also give us some new pairings and highlight new Characters to keep things fresh.  I can't go too much into the Ending, for obvious reasons, but I quite liked it too.  I thought it was built up nicely and delivered.  I will say that the Epilogue is a bit drawn out, but still emotionally-strong.  I liked Season 2 more than the general consensus and also liked this one too.  I like how they used Flashbacks to both Seasons throughout to build on the Show's narrative, although it did remind me just how much some of these kids grew up in just a short period of time...

Season 4 is going to be the final one (assuming they don't make a Movie), so enjoy this build-up to the end.

Quick Reviews: Wonder Woman- Bloodlines (2019)

After focusing so much on Horror in October, I finally get around to stuff like this.  A new Wonder Woman Cartoon to help ease the pain of the new Film being delayed again- why not?

The Film begins with a quick look at WW's modified origin- making Parademons be behind Steve's crash, for instance- and her journey to become a Hero in 'Man's World.'

In the Present, she tries to help the Daughter of the Woman who took her in.  Things don't go well.

She uncovers a cabal of killers that have something in mind that she won't like.  Among them are Dr. Poison, Cheetah, Giganta and Dr. Cyber.

Yes, all of her Villains are Women.  To be fair, it's not like you can just throw in Angle Man at random!

The journey to find out what the villains are up to and how they can help a family friend takes them to all sorts of crazy places.

Can Steve, Etta Candy and Wonder Woman uncover the mystery and save the day...

...or is the evil Villain behind the whole thing too smart to stop?

To find out, watch the Film.  It's on DVD and Streaming (just not on DC Universe, because...reasons).

A good showing for DC.  It shows what happens when you have more in mind that just mostly-retreading an older story.  No offense to stuff like Batman: Hush and Death of Superman, but this feels like a more inspired effort.  They go about introducing lots of characters and it all feels pretty organic.  It would be easy to do a story like this in a way that would just feel like 'well, it's Scene #--, time for a new character to show up.'  It doesn't.  It all works.  The Voice Acting is a nice surprise as Rosario Dawson and Jeffrey Donovan shine as WW and Steve Trevor, respectively.  Some people are going to bothered by stuff like Etta being black, but...I'm not.  The whole thing is an updated riff on key elements from the 2017 Film, so why can't it be different.  That's the whole point of updating it!  It's clear that they want there to be more than just a Film here.  Will it work?  Regardless, this is a solid Film that makes me happy to praise something from DC.  Can you guys work on Titans?  In closing, let's enjoy the 'You Dressed For a Costume Party, But It's a Book Club Meeting' Meme...

A strong showing here that sets the stage for a Show.  You guys need more things for DC Universe than just Titans, so make it happen! 

DCE-Hulu: Titans- 'Conner'

After a brief break to cover more Horror-themed stuff, I return to the Show.  I hope you like another (more recent) flashback Episode...

Some time before what was happening recently (it's not clear), a subject breaks out of a Cadmus Lab.

In his absence, people come to check out the chaos and recapture the asset.  The lead woman- Mercy Graves, the 'fixer' for Lex Luthor.

Full of memories from both Luthor and Superman, the asset goes to an old house of the former's.  When they come to collect him, things don't go well.

With a good Scientist, he is shown the truth about himself.  Will this help him or hurt him?

Oh and how does this tie back to the end of Episode 5.

To find out, you know the drill.

A decent aside- but an aside all the same.  What a weird way to do this.  This is a slightly-better version of the tease that The Walking Dead got in trouble for a couple years back.  Obviously, fans had to wait only a week and not months.  In addition, far less people are invested in Titans Cliffhangers than the latter.  That said, this tease is just plain dumb.  For one thing, they teased Conner at the end of Season 1.  Why make people wait 6 Episodes for it?  Why make it seem like an afterthought?  I mean, I kind of get it...maybe.  That Teaser was just a 'please let us do Season 2' thing more than anything else.  On the positive side, I like Conner here.  The Actor does a good job of playing his confusion, naivety and heroism well.  I feel like the Writing is going to ruin him, so I'll just enjoy this part.  The use of his powers was nicely-done and not too much.  It's still a TV Show, so it wasn't going to do too much anyhow, to be fair.  All in all, this is a better distraction than counting down the minutes waiting for (REDACTED) to die in the last one of these.  I will say that if you're going to start teasing Lex Luthor, maybe do it with a less-silly looking picture...

Next time, can the Series rebound from a so-so start.  Here's hoping I get proven wrong.  See you then...

Quick Reviews: John Carpenter's The Ward

As my final watch on Halloween, I looked back at Horror Master's final Film so far.  Did he redeem himself or just prove the doubters right?  Let's see...

A woman burns down an empty Farm House and ends up in the custody of the authorities.

Oh, is Arson a crime now or something?!?  Oh...right.

She ends up in a Psych Ward since, besides her crime, she also has no memory.

On the plus side, she's all set up to be a JRPG Protagonist.

Jared Harris is running the place, so we have our Brit In Charge quota filled.  He wants to help her, as well as the other girls in the Ward.

Did I just Roll Credits myself?  Dammit!

Unfortunately, the Staff and Patients aren't the only ones in, well, the place.  This one doesn't seem to friendly!

Can our Heroine and the other girls survive to see the light of day?

What mysteries and truths will be revealed before the end of it?

To find out, watch the Film.

It's actually...pretty good.  Right off the bat, there's two things missing that have to be addressed.  Carpenter had nothing to do with the Writing OR Scoring on this Film.  He jokes on the Audio Commentary that he was 'too damn old' to do the latter.  Aside from his Masters of Horror Episodes, he has official or unofficial Writing Credits for most of his notable Films.  It's interesting to see him give up a measure of control here in order to get a chance to prove himself again.  I think it works.  Is the Story super-unique?  No.  Is it well-made though?  Yes.  In lesser hands, this could definitely be like most direct-to-video dreck that comes in multi-film packs (of which I own at least a dozen or so).  Sadly, my copy is from one of those releases, so someone still thinks of it as such.  What the Film does well is utilize its Set, which is a real Sanitarium.  They apparently got permission to shoot in a working one, as opposed to an abandoned one like a Film I did earlier this year.  This really adds a nice layer of reality to a Film that seems to be about crazy people and a killer ghost.  The Acting is nicely-done here.  Some of the Characters don't get alot of depth, but there is a reason for that (which I won't SPOIL).  Even so, characters like Daniel Panabaker's get moments to show a different side and be more than one-dimensional.  I feel like if Carpenter had been motivated to do his usual level of input, this would have been really, really good.  The Soundtrack is alright, but fairly stock.  Carpenter laying down some sweet synth would have elevated this one for me.  All the same, The Ward is barely-remembered, but actually pretty decent at times and really good at others.  Come back to Direct for us again, Mr. Carpenter- we miss you.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I hear there is yet another Joker redesign to check out...

Carpenter isn't given A+ material here, but he definitely elevates it.  Maybe let him do another Halloween...