Bail Bond: On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

 Film.  One Film.

This is On Her Majesty's Secret Service, the lone Film that represents the Bond Career of one George Lazenby.

Was it too much too soon?  Was he a jerk?  Was he just impulsive?  Did the Studio clearly not have any confidence after a while?

One or more of those things is likely true, so let's just see what we get.

The Plot is a follow-up to You Only Live Twice and Bond is still after Blofeld.  As mentioned in that Review, his motivation comes from THIS Story though.
Can it work on its own?

Lazenby is joined by some big names here, such as Diana Rigg (aka Vincent Price's Daughter in Theatre of Blood) and Telly Savalas (aka Kojak).

Peter Hunt is the Director and he's moved up in the World.  He was the Editor on the first few Films, as well as Bob Hope's Call Me Bwana, which was referenced via billboard gag in From Russia with Love.

When he took over Editing for the last Film (after working Second Unit), he was given this gig as a reward.  This would be his only Bond Film- he'd turn down many- and he'd work steadily until 1991.

How did his career turn out better than our Star's?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond rescues a woman (Rigg) on the beach.

He fends off the final guy by catching him in mid-jump and giving him, well, an F5.

Before getting a 'thank you,' she runs off to her car and drives away.

That leads our new Bond to go full Deadpool and break the 4th Wall.

Bond goes to work and is called out for not catching Blofeld in the last 2 years (implying a real timeline for this Film).  

He quits, but gets leave instead.

After meeting back with the woman, sparks fly.
He's 'convinced' to meet Dad, who wants Bond to marry and 'tame' his Daughter.

This was almost Timothy Dalton?!?

She's reluctant, but the two do fall for each other.

A nice, romantic montage to the Film's Theme- We Have All of the Time in the World by Louie Armstrong- and now she's out of the picture (for now).

Bond has to go undercover as a genealogy expert hired by Blofeld.

Anyone else getting Benoit Blanc vibes?

He learns that Blofeld (now Savalas) is kept up on a private mountain and wants the guy (actually Bond) to say that he has Royal Blood and that he could 'earn a Title.'

In the meantime, Bond sleeps with one of the ladies- Blofeld has a full dozen (a first for a Bond Film).

Thankfully, he didn't try to do an accent.

Blofeld has a very complicated plan involving a virus that will somehow stop population growth.

He also tries to kill Bond, but he gets away on skis (sometimes convincingly and other times in front of an obvious screen).

Fleeing into Town, Bond runs into...Rigg?!?

Yes, she just happens to be in Town and they escape together in a car.

We get a fun Stock Car chase/shoot-out as a result.

Unfortunately, the pair can't outrun (stock footage of) an avalanche and she's captured.

As Blofeld prepares to release his ladies (including Joana Lumley!) to spread the virus, he keeps Rigg as a hostage.

Bond and Dad bring a small, private army to attack the base.  You know, kind of like that last Film did.

Blofeld escapes the base and they have a big fight in a toboggin.

The villain is standing up when they hit a branch and that's the end of him.  

In the aftermath, Bond marries Rigg and they live happily ever after.

That is, until, Blofeld (in a neck brace) and his assistant drive by and shoot the car, killing Rigg.

Aw...The End.

A Film that is honestly way better than you would think if you only know it by reputation.  I'll say it...

Lazenby made a good James Bond.

He plays a different kind of Bond, more like the Book (from what I can tell) version.  He has swagger.  He has charm.

He's not Sean Connery though.
You know who else isn't Sean Connery?  EVERYONE ELSE.

The Plot is really good.  At worst, you can argue that the pace is weird, focusing so much on Rigg and then dropping her until Act 3.  Granted.

It has some really good Action Scenes and Lazenby really does disappear into the role.  The villain's plan is the usual nonsense, setting up the seduction and chase Scenes.

Too bad we didn't get more Q and at least one Scene really hinging upon one of his gadgets.

After 5 Bond Films with Connery, this is a nice change of pace.  I guess it was too great of one, however, as, well, he's back next time.

Let it not be said that Lazenby's Bond never looked like a bad ass though...

Damn!

Next up, let's wrap up Connery's run as he returns one last time.  Will his swan song be his best yet?  Stay tuned...

Streaming Standard: Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein (2025)

 If he can't make his Lovecraft Film, I'm happy that he got to do this.

Let's see how his version of Mary Shelly's Classic Tale plays out...

Out in the cold, unforgiving Arctic, a stuck boat comes across the nearly-dead Dr. Frankenstein.

A strange, cloaked man attacks, trying to kill him!

On the boat recovering, the Doctor goes full Dewey Cox and tells his life story.

He grew up with a mean Dad (Charles Dance- naturally) and grows up to be a Doctor obsessed with beating death itself!

He meets up with his Brother and pretty blatantly starts trying to romance his fiancee (Mia Goth).

He works on making a man...

Struggles come up along the way, but he still manages to make his Adam.

Is this red thing on his chest from the Book or a sneaky Cronos Easter Egg?

He brings his Adam to life.

Of course, given this Intro, you know that some really bad stuff happens along the way to get these two to this point.

To see how it plays out, stream it now.

A really fun and refreshing take on the Classic Tale.

I've seen lots and LOTS of Frankenstein Films.  I've seen the creature in black & white and color.  I've seen them in the past or present.

This one tells the Story in a different order.  It can be a bit pretentious, but it really works here.

Isaac does a good job at not being a redeemable Character.  It is a hard thing to do as a Lead, but he works.
Jacob Elordi is a real standout to me.  I've not seen him in much (sorry, Saltburn), so him disappearing so much into the role is really impressive.
He's probably the meanest Adam I've seen since Penny Dreadful.

The Film has all of what you'd expect- especially if you're intimately familiar with the Story- and some good flourishes from Del Toro.  There's no mistaking the fact that HE is the Director here.

It is SOOOO good- in spite of what the terrible AI Trailer Images might tell you...

What even...I mean...huh?!?

If you know the tale, this one is still one to check out.  If you don't know it well, this is a great introduction!

Tubi Thursday: Wolf (1994)

 Tubi lets me check off another Film off of the Came Out When I Was Younger, but Never Saw List.

I was clearly too young to be allowed to watch the Film billed as a 'Werewolf romance' and a Horror Film.

Am I too old for it now?

In the *cough* Cold Open, our Hero hits a Wolf with his car, but it bites him and runs off.

That probably won't affect the Plot.

He works for a Publishing Company and life seems to be passing him by.

He knows that he's going to lose his job...and seems to be taking it way too well.

The bite creates many changes in him, however.

He can hear and smell things far better.  He's more assertive.

In other words, he's become Jack Nicholson just playing Jack Nicholson.

He meets a younger lady- Michele Pfeiffer and she's the Boss' Daughter.

His new, assertive self seems to have an effect on her as his life starts to fall apart.

Oh and that bite is turning him into a Werewolf.

You probably guessed that though.

He finds out that his Wife is having an affair with his protege- James Spader.

During the confrontation, he bites Spader, but that probably won't matter later.

As things look up for him in his private life- a new job and costing Spader his-, he keeps losing control of his wolf side.

Can he control it?
I mean, it would be a boring Film if he did.

To see how it all plays out, stream it now.

A pretty fun Film that does nice little turns on the whole Werewolf Film genre.

It speaks to the flexibility of the setup that it can be a Coming-of-Age Tale for Girls AND a tale of Older Men Losing their Vitality, doesn't it?

Nicholson plays the straight version of himself and then just becomes himself by the end.  He's still very charismatic, so fair play.

Pfeiffer doesn't do all that much more than react, but she does that well too.

The Film builds up the whole transformation thing nicely, which is something Cursed would do about 10 years later.

The Film builds to a sillier climax than maybe it should.  I read that they did massive reshoots of said Ending, but not what it was.  How bad was it?!?

At least we get Cameos from future Stars of Friends and Frasier.

Wolf is as good as I was hoping it would be at times and a good showcase of older VFX Techniques.

A Film that is fun, but also sometimes a bit self-serious.  Either way, it gives you exactly what you'd expect.

Bail Bond: You Only Live Twice (1967)

 What happens when Connery returns for the last time?

This is You Only Live Twice, the 5th Bond Film and one that was marketed as the last with its Star.  Anyone with Google can tell you that this doesn't exactly happen, but I'll get there soon enough.

This time we got a break between Films, since the plan to shoot On Her Majesty's Secret Service next was cancelled due to an unseasonably warm winter, making the snowy mountains not ideal.

They just jumped ahead then and did the third Film in the Blofeld as the 2nd. 
Why not?

The Plot is very loosely based on the Book, keeping the Setting and Blofeld as the Villain, but changing almost everything else.

Is this a good, definitely real send-off for Connery?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond is enjoying the afterglow with a Chinese lady when she flips the Murphy Bed against the wall and guys pop in to shoot him.

Bond...dies in the Intro?

He died as he lived- in bed.

Of course, this is just a ploy.

They need to fake his death to send him to Japan to figure out what SPECTRE is up to.

They stole an American Astronaut.

So, now that he's famously dead, let's have Bond...hang out in public and attend a sporting event?!?

He sees a man about some exposition, as Bond has never been to Japan.

Charles Gray- of Rocky Horror fame- gives him some information and is then immediately killed.
Remember this face for later.

Bond tracks him down to a Japanese Corporate Office and a fight breaks out.

The henchman- High Chief Peter Maivia aka The Rock's Grandfather.

Epic.

Bond works with the head Japanese spy- Tiger Tanaka- and learns all about Japanese Culture...by way of 2 different Brits.

Some of this is accurate, but Shogun this is not.

Our mandatory Q Scene is here and he's onsite yet again in this one.

He gives Bond some fake cigarettes (that fire a single bullet) and this gyrocopter...which (like the jetpack) is real.

Also a real guy lost a leg flying this!

Lots of stuff happens, including Bond pretending to be a Businessman and escaping death a few times.

He has to get a new cover as *sigh* a Japanese man (with tea leaves rub on his skin and his 'hair' pressed down) as a Tourist.

He has amnesia and thinks this for real in the Book btw.

Bond eventually breaks into Blofeld's Volcano Lair and comes face to face with the man.
We finally see him...92 minutes into the Film.

His plan to trick the USSR and America into a War is foiled when Bond presses the self-destruct button on his fake Russian probe.
Why install that?

He flees as Tanaka breaks in with- no joke- some ninjas.

Bond fights Blofeld's Bodyguard and backdrops him into a pool full of piranha...that he didn't know were there.

He still has a quip ready anyways.

'Oh no- he's been eliminated from the Royal Rumble!'

Everyone- including Blofeld- escapes the exploding Volcano Lair.

Bond and his latest Girl are going to hook up in a life raft in the aftermath, but his Bosses interrupt that with a rising submarine.

The End.

A Film that feels like a unique Bond Film- in both good and bad ways.

This one doesn't have any traveling across the globe, unless you count Bond being transported to the Submarine. 
A singular location- mind you, it is all of Japan- is from the Book.

That said, so much was scrapped and rewritten from said Book, it is a surprise that this too was kept.

The Film is a fun one.  You get gadgets.  A big villain lair.  3 Bond Girls (2 made up for the Film).

Then again, you also get some long setups like Bond 'going undercover' as Japanese and getting legit married.  They show way more of the wedding than you would think too.

A big shock is how little we actually get to see of Blofeld.  In the Book, he dies before the end- a fate he won't get until we changed Bond Actors 3 more times!

Twice has some fun historical notes, like The Rock's Grandfather being in it or one of the Astronauts in the Intro being played by the same guy who would be in the lead in 2001: A Space Odyssey!

Oh, and its Screenwriter is far more famous for Children's Books...

Next up, we jump ahead 2 years and to a new Bond.  I hear this Lazenby fella is here for the long haul!  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Nomads (1986)

 Since I'm on a James Bond roll here, why not a Horror Film starring a different Bond Actor?

Works for me!

As a bonus, this is the Film that John McTiernan did that got him hired for Predator, so it is doubly relevant.

A Doctor- Leslie Ann-Dowd- is called in to help a patient who is brought in.

He's acting erratic and ranting in French.

He's...Pierce Brosnan?!?

He has some sort of attack and lunges at the Doctor...before dying.

She (and everyone else) is very confused by this.

She's told that the man's tox screen was clear- no drugs in his system.

The Doc soon thinks that she is on drugs, however, as she starts to see the man's memories in first person!

In the week leading up to this moment, he had moved to Los Angeles with his Wife.

He'd been traveling around the World studying cultures- especially nomadic ones.

When his Garage is vandalized, he follows the culprits- a ground of nomadic punk rockers in a van.

He becomes obsessed with them, trying to figure out if they're dangerous or just weirdos.

He's soon targeted by them, chased around until he goes inside an abandoned building.... only it is not abandoned.

A lone Nun lives inside and she's blind.

Blind Nun/Priest- Take a Shot!

The Nomads eventually meet up with our Heroine after she meets up with Brosnan's Wife.  They're still confused, but eventually sort out the truth.

The 'punk rockers' are nomadic spirits and they don't want attention.

They wreck the House's interior and the duo leave.
Our Lead warns the Wife not to look back, but she sees...that Brosnan is now one of them!

They go their separate ways.
The End.

Sometimes the spirits you see aren't what you expect them to be.

For better or worse, Nomads does things in a very different way.

The Plot plays out in flashbacks, but done in a more dynamic way.
Dowd really sells the effect this has on her.

Likewise, Brosnan really sells the paranoia here as he looks into the void...and it looks back.
You'll either love or hate his French accent.  I didn't think it was merdes.

Having the Nomads appears as Punk Rockers as opposed to Spirits is an interesting choice.  As a one-off thing, I'm fine with it.

This is much more of 'What is Going On' Horror Film than one full of real scares.  Well, unless you're scared of Ants...

A Film that seems to either hook people or lose them in the 2nd half.  Personally, I like having actual 'villains' and not just ghosts.

Bail Bond: Thunderball (1965)

 A Film that asks the question 'What the hell is a Thunderball?'

Thunderball is the 4th Bond Film in the Series.  Sean Connery is back yet again and he's got a new locale to enjoy.

Seriously though- I'm with Tom Jones here: what is a Thunderball?

The Plot involves some missiles, Bond seducing some ladies and the last time that people would bring missiles to Miami until True Lies.

Can Bond get away from his vacation to save the day?  Will that somehow be a big plot point in the Film?

To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond and an Agent attend the Funeral of a Spy.
He suspects that something is up.

So, in a hurry, he sneaks into the place, confronts the widow (who is actually the Spy) and fights him to the death.
He runs away from the guards to, no joke, a JET PACK that was set up on the edge of the patio and escapes to his car via jet pack.

And yes, that is the only use of said Jet Pack.
And yes, it was the bulk of the Film's Marketing.

Our 'dead' Spy was also the original 'Guy who shoots gun' in the Intro.

We see that SPECTRE is still very much a thing.

Blofeld- with a different Actor and voice dubber- has a numbered list of Agents in the field.
This includes a very timely reference to the Great British Train Robbery, which wasn't even fully solved at this point.

We also get the first of many bits lifted directly by Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Blofeld decides that his 2 American Agents didn't get enough money and kills one via a device on his chair.

SPECTRE is up to no good.

Meanwhile, Bond is...at a Health Spa.  It's from the Book.

Anyhow, he's clearly on to something as a masked man tries to kill him with...a stretching machine.

He's rescued by the masseuse and...yeah, there's that Connery 'charm that turns into creepy' I was waiting for.

'No' means 'Yes, but with protest?'

SPECTRE's plan involves spending TWO YEARS to get a guy to become his double and then take his place on a Training Flight...that is also transporting Nuclear Missiles.

Don't give Pete Hegseth any ideas, guys!

This double does his job well...and is immediately betrayed.

All of the 00 Agents are called in, but we only see 007.

Supposedly, someone pitched having all of them being Actors from recent Spy Shows that had come out in the wake of Bond's success.

That would have meant a Cameo from Peter Graves, Bill Cosby, David McCallum and others.
Someone then realized that this gag would cost them the Budget of a second Film and scrapped it.

There is a Lady in the group, so suck it, haters!

Bond happened to be at the Spa where the switch took place and follows that lead.

He meets up with the villain- Mr. Largo- and does this weird thing where they know he's a spy, he nearly gets caught and they then act like they don't.

It's confusing. 

Fortunately, Bond also befriends the Sister of the guy who was killed and replaced- named Domino (below)- and she helps him figure out that Largo is transporting the nukes to, well, Largo.

Actually Miami, but I wanted the pun.

It all leads to a big, vibrantly scored underwater battle choreographed by Ricou Browning aka the guy who played The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

His name might show up in a later Bond Review too, so keep an eye open.

It's the other thing this Film is famous for, so thankfully it delivers.

Bond takes the Sky Hook (4 Decades before Christopher Nolan used it) and we're out.

A fun Bond Film, if one with a bit odd pacing.

The Book apparently takes a roundabout way to get to the action and the Film is no exception.  The idea that Bond was sent to a Health Spa by M (Book) and that is the key to him figuring out the Plot.

The parts with Largo and Bond are fun.  This one has multiple Bond Girls- some good and some bad.  Some of them last a while.  Some of them don't.

The Jetpack is cool.  It is a real thing.  I think you can still get them- if you're insane and love heights.
The big Finale is great, complete with a great Soundtrack and a unique locale.

Kudos to Browning for making an Action Scene underwater with over 50 people work.  Nice.

Lastly, this Film is the first one to use the Actor playing Bond in the Intro with the gun barrel.  It only took 4 Films...

Next up, my Bond odyssey continues with Sean Connery's final Bond Film.  When in doubt, let's rehash an earlier Bond Film.  Stay tuned...