'90s Class: The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)

 Apex Predators are the one thing that can connect DC and Marvel fans!

This is The Ghost and the Darkness, a Film based on a real-life incident.  Lions are terrifying- spoken as someone who lives in a City without one in a hundred miles from me.

Also spoken as someone who has seen Roar.

The Film features Batman (Val Kilmer), Ant-Man (Michael Douglas) and Black Panther (John Kani aka T'Chaka).  That's some Comic Book Star Power!

It comes to us from Director Stephen Hopkins, who has a very diverse Filmography.  He's made A Nightmare on Elm Street 5, Predator 2, a thriller called Under Suspicion, Lost in Space and a Biopic on Jesse Owens!

Can he bring a tale of dangerous lions (that hate trains, I guess) to life for a generation?  To find out, read on...

An Engineer (Kilmer) is hired by a posh man (Tom Wilkinson) to build some bridges for train tracks in Africa.

The real guy wasn't an Engineer, but, you know, Movies.

Oh, and this is the SECOND Tom Wilkinson appearance for me in two days, as he was the Dad in The Green Hornet, which I watched the day before this.

Spooky.

He's a bit of an expert on Africa, at least as far as what you can read in Books.

Is he ready for what is really out there though?

A lion attacks someone one night at Camp, so he hunts it the next day.

He's celebrated as a hero...for about a week.

That's when his top man- who claims to have killed a lion with his bare hands- is killed at night by a lion!

He sets up another trap for the lion, but it fails.

He rushes to stop an attack in the camp DURING THE DAY and is jumped by...a second lion.

Yep, these ones hunt in packs- which they definitely don't do normally!

Mostly undaunted (as his Preacher Buddy was killed in the attack), he sets a new trap.

It lures a lion in, trapping it on the other side of some steel bars from some tiger hunters from India that he brought in (he once hunted them too).

This doesn't work as they are too scared to shoot straight and one is even partially deafened by its roar (which is apparently possible!!!!).

Plan C?

Breaking from the real story, they bring a Hunter (Michael Douglas- who cast himself, since he was a Producer).

Him and his lion hunters fail to kill them when Kilmer's gun misfires.

The helpers leave, since they think that the lions are actually evil spirits (hence the Title).

Plan Whatever involves a baboon as bait (lions hate them, apparently) and hunting platforms.

Douglas kills one, while the other is nowhere to be seen.
In real life, that character was never there, so he never did this.

Kilmer dreams of a happy reunion with his wife and newborn son, while the remaining lion runs from another side and jumps them.

This is supposed to seem real, but...come on.

This is way too goofy!

The remaining lion apparently stealth killed and ate Douglas during the night, leading to a final battle.

Can Batman and Black Panther stop a lion?

Yes, but not easily.

In the aftermath, everyone is happy and his family does arrive sans lion attack.
The End.

A fun and exciting Film that plays just enough with history to make it believable.

This one does give you plenty of real things in it.  I do wish that the Narration (by T'Chaka) wasn't so on the nose about how 'this all really happened' though.

It's a bit much.

It does tweak things here and there, adding, well, a Quint Character to the Story.  He meets essentially the same fate too.

Is this just Land Jaws?

No.

The Film's Special Effects- Animatronics, real lions and camera trickery- are amazing.  Stan Winston's work is always great, so no shock there.

Apparently they picked out a 375lb lion and Winston's company made animatronics.  When they arrived, the Filmmakers had switched to a 450lb lion!

Big props to all of the Actors, but especially Kilmer.  He went right from the set of The Island of Dr. Moreau (an experience so bad that a Film was made about it!) to this one...and he was also in the middle of a divorce.

None of this shows in his performance, so kudos.

This one still flies kind of under the radar, even if it finally got a Blu-Ray in 2022.  Just know that the real lions looked...a bit different (as they are still on display).

Next up, a Horror Film by a Rock Star.  Will this one make me sew my mouth shut?  Stay tuned...

Holiday TV: Friday the 13th- The Series Creates 'Death Note'

 It is our only Friday the 13th left this year, so let's make the most of it.

It is time for that Series again!

In this Episode, we learn about an evil pen and the Monks that will use it...TO KILL!

A Monk's Abbott rejects a push to sell the Monastery.

Later, a man writes about said Abbott dreaming of flying and then falling to his death.

This was 1987 TV CGI- judge it fairly.

Our Heroes- this is only Episode 2- figure out that the pen used by a Monk in the same Monastery that predicts the deaths of many- including this Abbott- people.

Our young Leads have to go undercover in the Monk to find it.

They are watched carefully, but keep looking.

The Monk- who is in seclusion- says that the Abbott will die...but there is no Abbott.

Well, a new guy is appointed...and killed via...um, bed smothering.
It worked in 13 Ghosts.

It turns out that the would-be Abbott (played by famous That Guy Colin Fox- who just died in April) is using the pen's owner to get what he wants.

He wants to sell the Monastery, because money.

When the Owner of the Pen says that he wants to stop, the Abbott uses it to kill him.

He tries to kill our Heroes next, but there's a catch.

His message doesn't work because he doesn't use their real names.  Hear that, L?

He eventually abandons subtlety and just goes to kill them with a gun.  That's way quicker.

He is tricked into writing his Death Note...I mean...magic pen letter on the Paperwork he signed to sell the Monastery.

He's killed by a CGI guillotine blade.

The End.

A really good Episode that helps setup the Show in a fun way.

The Plot is simple- guy kills people to get rich.
The usual motivation is to live forever, so this is a changeup.

Seriously, how is this not the inspiration for Death Note.

This was 1987.
The Series first appeared in Manga in 2003.

You can argue that the PEN is magic here, but the BOOK is magic in Death Note.
Thank you, Captain Semantics.
Thanks for taking my old job, by the way, Captain.

For better or worse, these sure are 1980s Special Effects.  Just...wow.

The Plot is fun and it helpfully sets things up nicely.

Weird factoid- the Director would go on to make Christmas Films like The Case for Christmas.  It also features the same guy who played one of the (good) Monks...

A pretty good Episode that sets up the Show's premise pretty well.  The fact that it sort of inspired an Anime about 15 years later.

Tubi Thursday: Moonfall (2022)

 You want to lose over $100 million?  Well, invest in a 'can't miss, surefire hit' Sci-Fi Film from a big time Director.

That's how we got today's Film...

In 2011, a mission to fix a Satellite (which requires 3 Astronauts and not the ISS?) ends tragically when a strange swarm of metal...something attacks.

One Astronaut is launched away, while the witness (Patrick Wilson) flies his Commander (Halle Berry) to safety.

In the Present (of 2022), he's disgraced because nobody believes him.

As it turns out, there's a massive cover-up.
Thanks for explaining that in your one and only Scene, Donald Sutherland (RIP).

Meanwhile, this guys is convinced that the Moon is a Megastructure (basically a giant ship) and not an astral body.

Since the Film couldn't exist without this nonsense, he's right.

Well, he's right about SOME things...

The Moon leaves its orbit- thanks to whatever the hell that metal swarm thing is- and all hell breaks loose on Earth.

It is Roland Emmerich, so cue CGI destruction of the West Coast.

Naturally, it ends up that only Wilson, Berry and the crazy (but correct in this one instance) guy can save the Earth.

Time to fly up in an old ship and hope for the best!

Back on Earth, their families (and Chinese friend designed to get you into the Market) are in trouble on Earth.

Can they save the day for them?

To find out, stream this bizarre fever dream of a Film.

A Film that manages to somehow be both familiar and batshit insane at the same time.

This is a Roland Emmerich Films.
If you played Roland Emmerich Bingo, you'd hit on quite a few squares for sure.

Divorced Lead, bad luck for new Husband, Kids in Peril, Cities Flooded and more.

Once you accept that, you can get dragged along for the insane ride that is this Film's Plot.

Without giving it all away, the Moon isn't, well, a Moon and Aliens exist/existed.

A whole crazy explanation is given late in the Film.  It is so silly that I can't be mad at it.

I'm less thrilled then when the Film keeps cutting back to the Sons, other kids and Chinese lady in a B-Plot that involves robbers...while the Earth is being assailed by fragments of the Moon itself!

This is supposed to be ground the Film (pun fully intended), but I just didn't care for it.

Give me full on crazy without the boring melodrama.  Give me, well, what this AI Generated Fake Trailer Image promises....

No Transformers here- honest!

A Film that is sometimes just so crazy that it works...and sometimes really routine.  Like visiting Willy Wonka....to get your brakes fixed.

Super Zero?: The Green Hornet (2011)

 As a new Superhero Studio face-off is coming n July, let's look back at a forgotten Superhero Film.

In the '90s, there was a big push to do Characters from the Radio/Film Serials as Film.  Somehow, the Green Hornet didn't make the cut, ending up in Character Licensing Limbo.

In 2011, he finally got his shot!

This Film comes to us from a trio you wouldn't expect- Seth Rogen, Even Goldberg and Michael Gondry.

The latter is a Director most known for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, while the former two are known for Bro Comedy Movies.

Will this combination of escargot and bacon be appetizing or upset your stomach?  To find out, read on...

In Los Angeles, a criminal named Churnovsky (Christoph Waltz) is trying to be taken seriously, but finds that he's not respected enough.

Is he out of touch?

Well, less out of touch than Nicholas Cage playing him as a White Jamaican would have been.
That was his pitch!

Our would-be Hero is Britt Reid (Rogen) and his new pal Kato, who was his now-late Dad's Mechanic and assistant.

Both need a new outlet, as they have lots of wasted potential.

They go out to vandalize the Dad's Statue and inadvertently stop to save a couple from some Muggers.

Kato proves to be a badass fighter on top of a mechanic, as shown by this neat effect...that we only get like one other time.

The Police don't cover the mugging angle and just the crime.

That gives Britt the idea to push The Green Bee...I mean, Hornet as criminals as a way to get close to other criminals.

He can use his newfound paper to do so.

Their combination of brashness (Reid), ability, mechanics and instincts (Kato) get them on the right path.

They soon make enemies with Churnovsky though and are a bit out of their league.

Thankfully, they just hired a Secretary (Cameron Diaz) who is also an Expert on Criminology.

She can help them (inadvertently) do the wrong thing to, well, do the right thing.

This is also the 2nd Superhero Film with Cameron Diaz involving a dope with a green face (the other being The Mask).

Coincidence?  Yes- definitely.

With the help of their car- Black Beauty- will they be able to overcome their issues to stop the bad guys and save the day?

I mean...obviously, yes.

Will they get a Sequel?  

I mean...obviously, no.

A Film full of many interesting ideas...that don't really mesh together in the long run.

This had to have been a weird pitch.  'Take a Character mostly known from a Radio Show (and Guest-Starring on Batman) and let the guys from Superbad write it!'

This isn't a knock on them.  It just doesn't seem like a good idea unless you're going to do something REALLY different.  It never quite commits.

The Film fluctuates between being a big Action Film, a Seth Rogen Comedy, a Drama and a bit experimental with Gondry's flourishes.

The flourishes aren't bad, but they appear and disappear suddenly.  Kind of like Waltz's interest in rebranding, which pops up once and then reappears for the finale.

Inarguably, the true saving graces here are the stunt work and the big action Scenes.  They look great. 
They should- the Film cost about $100 million when this was less the norm.
Never mind the extra $10 million to convert to 3-D (which isn't on my copy).

The final product is one that I'm not sure truly pleases anyone 100%.

It has good Comedy, but also not.  It has good Drama, but also not.  It is a buddy Film...eventually.

Lots could and should be done with a Green Hornet Film.  Maybe one day.

Next up, a Film featuring a future Marvel Actor and a then current DC Actor.  What natural menace will they face off with?  Stay tuned...

Almost Heroes: Sgt. Jericho Butler (John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars)

 A Feature that I sometimes remember is back!

In John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, the most notable Character looking back at it is Jason Statham's Jericho Butler.

This was right as he started to make it big.

Why is he here though?

****

He's arguably the second-in-command, seemingly the same rank as Henstridge's Character.  They work as mostly equals.

He's always at the front and center of things.

In the big fights, his abilities shine through.

It's just a hint of what you'd see in the (arguably over) stylized combat in the Transporter Films.

When the boss- Pam Grier- is taken out early, he helps keep people calm and focused on the mission.

He's also the one to discover the threat and learn about it for the group.

He never stops trying.

That leads to the final battle for the Main Cast, as they keep the ghost-infected Colonists at bay so that the bomb can be set.

This proves to be the end for all of the assorted Cast, like Carpenter buddy Peter Jason, the guy from Revenge of the Nerds (yeah, he's in this too- kinda) and Character Actress Clea Duvall.

Statham isn't taken down by flying saws in one go, however, like the rest.

He keeps fighting until the mob- now with less targets- focuses on him and swarms him.

He fights to the end, keeping the mob away from the Train.

So close, Jericho!

And yes, the fact that we're told that nobody but Henstridge survived in the 2nd Scene of the Film does take a bit away from this death.

Even so, we salute you, Sgt. Jericho Butler- you were a Hero to Almost the End.

Shudder Day: Iced (1988)

 If you're not feeling good, what's the best medicine?

If you guessed 'medicine,' then you're a Doctor.
If you guessed 'bad '80s Movie,' then you're a Me!

A group of yuppies (so, all white folks) hang out and go skiing.

One of them is challenged to a race and loses.

He also seems to lose the interest of the girl he's interested in, so he goes out to ski at night and falls on some rocks.

The Film then jumps ahead to FOUR YEARS LATER and we meet the group yet again (minus the dead guy).

They are all invited to a Cabin in the Mountains as part of a sales pitch.

One of the group is driving up later, runs afoul of a road hazard and is then killed by a bulldozer driven by a man in the same outfit as the guy above.

The group all has their own problems and such going on.

One of them- the only single guy- is a bit erratic.  
That leads the Doctor to think that he planted a newspaper article about the death of their 'friend' in the opening at the Cabin.

Did he?

The Film has a long middle where you're basically just getting all of the setup.

They also give you a few Cinemax-style Sex Scenes (so nothing is going in or coming out) to keep you interested.

The masked man finally picks up the pace, taking out nearly everyone at the Cabin.

Doc gets spiked.
His lady gets iced.
Another lady gets shocked.
The crazy guy gets bear trapped and... off screened.

Is their seemingly-dead friend the culprit?
Is it a complete stranger (it has happened)?

No, it is the Realtor Guy, who is, of course, the guy that our Final Girl called for help.

He has an inexplicable and not set-up backstory involving a fake leg and...he's dead.
We get ANOTHER time jump and he's suddenly back....I guess?

These bits don't usually make sense.
The End.

A Film that often leaves you feeling cold.

Ice pun!

Anyhow, this Movie is super-generic.  Even by 1988, these things could get really by the numbers.  Unless you have a great hook, a neat twist or an amazing monster, a Film like this can fall flat.

This is one of those 'Who dunnit?' Slasher Films, but also not a good one.  We see the would-be killer (Jeff) talking to someone behind a pole and that's it.

The Film just invents the Character (Alex) wholesale for the finale, giving him a fake leg, a tragic backstory and a motivation based on NOTHING we saw.

These Films can cheat, by not showing you a key detail.  Girls Nite Out, for instance, doesn't show you the apparent killer's face, so that they can do an Evil Twin bit.

A better Film- My Bloody Valentine- gives you the setup for the killer, but tries to misdirect you the whole time.  Not a cheat.

If you love these dated Films, you can do far worse.
You can also do far better.

Take us away, Silly (Not Really) Death Face...

A Film that doesn't do anything amazing and was mostly forgotten when the Slasher craze fizzled out.  In 2025, it is easy to see why.