Shudder Sunday: The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves are Here! (1972)

 My first- official- look at an Andy Milligan Film.
Be afraid- be very afraid.

Is this another case of a great (read: silly) Title and not a good Film?  Let's see...

Out in England, an eccentric Family lives in solitude.

The Mooneys are strange, violent and have an animalistic Adult Son.

It's like a worse version of The Kardashians, really.

The Eldest Daughter has returned to the Home from a long trip abroad to study Medicine at the behest of her ailing Father.  Why?

Upsetting everyone is the fact that she's now married, and her new Husband is in the dark about, well, everything.

Ah, young love.

Everyone makes a big to-do about it and things only get worse around the House.

Mind you, the Film begins with them lighting the one Son on fire, so...not a great baseline.

What secrets do they keep?

So here's a little (well-known) secret about this Film...

It was mostly shot in 1969 (alongside 3 other Films) while Milligan was in England.

It was too short, so he shot another 20 minutes of Scenes involving Shopkeepers (both played by him) who add, well, mostly filler to the Plot.

One sells some rats- since Willard had just been a hit in 1972- and the other sells a gun that appears later (without explanation before, presumably).

More scheming and vague talk about the family's secret.  I sure hope that the Title doesn't give it away.

There's a B-Plot revealing the 'gross' reason why the one Son is different.

We also get some mild animal abuse, which might be real.  At the same time, however, the way it is shot disguises alot (and makes some of it look fake) ...so who knows?

As it turns out, the Family are all Werewolves.
Shocking- I know.

Things go poorly on a Full Moon Night and take a final turn when our Heroine reveals her personal secret.
No SPOILERS though.

To find out what happens (eventually), stream it now...

A slow, but steady Film.  It does eventually get to a point.  Why it thinks that the Werewolf thing is a big reveal with this Title is anyone's guess though.

There's nothing amazing about the Acting, Staging, Direction or anything.  It was shot at a nice House- like the other Milligan Films shot in England.  I don't know if a Film like this is good for Tourism, but who knows?

It's funny when you realize that the new material was shot in STATEN ISLAND three years later.  It's not super-obvious- to be fair to Milligan- since he never visibly connects the 3 locations.  That said, he also never visibly connects the 3 locations...

If you don't like Films about terrible, mean people, this is definitely NOT for you.  The Mooney Family is pretty bad all around, whether it is the murder, abuse or just general dickery.  They do get punished in the end, of course.

The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! doesn't sound like the worst of Milligan's Films (having seen a Review of The Body Beneath).  Just don't go in expecting the whole 'rat sub-plot' to really matter, no matter how cute this fake rat is...

Andy Milligan made an... interesting Film.  I'm curious to see if I love or hate more of his stuff in the future.

Pilot Wings/Buy the DVD: L.A. Confidential (1999)

 A while ago, I found a cheap copy of a great Film on Blu-Ray.  You can probably guess which one it was.

One of the reasons that intrigued me about it- besides the Movie being great- is that it had the TV Pilot for the Show on it.

There was a TV Pilot?!?
How did I not hear about this?

Oh, nobody bought it...and it was only first available on the Blu-Ray in 2003.
That makes sense.

Let's see what we missed out on with...

So you remember the Film right?

If you were in charge of picking up the Pilot or not, you'd better- it was only 2 years earlier!

*I apologize in advance for no Screen Caps.  It's only on my Blu-Ray and I can't Screen Cap from it ATM*

A Cop- Kiefer Sutherland- is involved in a Drug Sting Operation and accidentally shoots an innocent man, making him end up doing any job he can to repay the family in secret.

Who shot him?  Well, that mystery isn't addressed in the Pilot, so...

This hour long- with the commercials included- Pilot sets up alot of Story for you to follow...

A strict Cop comes in and wants to clean things up.
A Tabloid sleaze is investigating everything around him.

Kiefer is back on the case of investigating Chinese Heroin coming into L.A.

A would-be Actress- Melissa George- shows up and gets involved with some people.

In a curious bit of ironic Casting (in hindsight), Kiefer gets info from a young Actress who's hooked on the new Heroin that he's trying to track down the source of.

That Actress- Anna Gunn.

So, in 1999, she's a lady hooked on drugs, while in 2008 she's a Wife trying (eventually) to stop her Husband from creating/dealing drugs.

We also get the Hero Cop story from the Film- to be fair, they are both adapting the Book- and it sadly doesn't get too far in this format.

He meets Melissa after his big moment and...no more story after that.

We also set up the Villain of the Show in the form of Eric Roberts in a tense meeting between him and Kiefer.

Of course, again, no pick-up for said Pilot, so enjoy this tease of something you'll never see.

A woman's body is found with the Heroin on her and 'To Be Continued.'
Awkward.

This, oddly enough, gets a bad rap from many people.  Some say that it is just a rehash of the Film.

I mean, again, they are both based on a Book.  So, you're either damned if you go too far from the Book or you're damned if you stick to the Book.  Dealer's Choice, I guess.

That said, I'm not going to entirely dismiss the point.  If you adapt a Film into a Show, people want something more than just the same thing in long form. 
The Handmaid's Tale- as depressing as it was- expanded alot more of the Story than in the 90-minute Film.  That's a good example.  That's especially true as I watched Season 1 of the Show before seeing the Film- the opposite of this.

I can see the complaints to some degree with Officer Exley, as he has to start the same way as in the Film.  With no more than the Pilot, of course, his whole Arc- and a Subplot involving Marilyn Monroe- can't go too far.  

That's kind of my only *real* complaint here- they don't do a single Episode Story.  I get setting up the long-term stuff- that's fine.

They just needed one Story to resolve here to give a little bit of closure and then just tease- to I guess the Studio Executives- with more to come.

Without that, you get an hour of good story and setup for...nothing.

At least they tried again 20 years later and... nope, not picked up again!

Like I said, it's a good Pilot that sadly has no closure in any regard.  I still recommend getting the Film- and this Pilot by default- on Blu-Ray, since, you know, both are quite good.

Tubi Thursday: Demon Wind (1990)

 This Film has been lingering in my Tubi Queue for a while.
I can only hope that it is a lead in for Spinal Tap's Break like the Wind...

In 1931, a lady and her Husband are under siege by unseen forces, before he is turned into a Demon.

The House suddenly explodes and we jump to the Present.

A man takes his girlfriend and other friends to his family house, but he's hiding alot.

For instance, he has a freaky dream of his mom.
He also met his dad- who he never saw until that day- and then 'Pops' killed himself.

What is going on?

At the nearby Diner- aka the only other Building around- the old man there says to not go to the Farm.

Ah good, that old cliche.

Him and his friends get to the House, but a strange fog- with no Ghost Pirates in it- keeps them from leaving.

One of the poor sods- a young lady- is just offed instantly by being turned into a Doll (why not?) and burned up.

In the Demons' defense, her random and unprovoked comment about 'Don't bury me here' is just asking for trouble!

Two of the gang- one of whom is a now-famous Black Belt and Sports Commentator (and the Cast Member with a Wiki Page)- decide to go out and fight the Demons...just because.

Shockingly, standing in the middle of a field and fighting them with a shotgun doesn't work.
They can't even stop the Demon that is an Uncredited Lou Diamond Phillips (who was married to one of the Assistant Directors at the time).

RIP Guy Who Looks Like Sting.

The group is whittled down in classic '80s Fashion (even though this was released in 1990).

The weirdest one- this lady who was dragged into a cow/horse skull and dies from...um...rubbing against the teeth.

Seriously, the top of her head is bleeding- how?!?

Can our Final Guy and Girl save themselves?

They do, after all, have 2 of the Daggers of Megiddo- no, I'm not kidding.
That's a real Plot Point.

When the big bad finally shows up will they have any clue how to stop him?

To find out, stream the Film (with a nice, HD transfer from 2017) to find out.

It's a big old ball of silly, '80s nonsense.  If you like that kind of thing, it is for you.

Plus, it is called Demon Wind- were you expecting Shakespearean Drama?!?

The Film works as a great bit of cinematic cheese because it takes itself 100% seriously.  It has a 'serious' Plot, serious Actors (one of whom carved out a niche in '90s Skinemax Films/Shows in the '90s) and half a million behind it.  Of course, you should take it seriously!

The Plot involves a whole bunch of amazing coincidences- the Dad was in the Hospital when the House blew up, for instance- and silly contrivances- one of the friends is a Magician who also does Karate!  Said Friend, by the way, drives up in a convertible with the radio playing 'Flight of the Valkyries' to boot!

While it takes a little bit to get to the real silly stuff, Demon Wind is a fun, ridiculous Film that's worth a look.  While it is never convincing per se, the make-up still has a real organic look that you just don't get with all CGI these days.

With a name like Demon Wind, you should know what to expect.  Wait out the first 20 minutes or so and then go along for the ride!

Double Dipping: 'The Weird Tailor' - Boris Karloff's Thriller

 Asylum is a surprisingly rich topic for content.

One of the Segments was called 'The Weird Tailor.'

Well, in 1961, it was also adapted into an Episode of Boris Karloff's Thriller.

With Robert Bloch writing both versions, how do they match up?
Let's see...

A drunk, young man waltzes into his Dad's Room, where he is doing a dark, possibly Satanic ritual.

He walks into the Circle and... dies...I guess.

I mean, I guess that makes sense...maybe?

Unlike the Film's version, we see more of the Tailor- played by famous That Guy Henry Jones- and he's...a drunk jerk.

Joy- I'm glad they fleshed him out here.

The rich guy- calling himself Mr. Smith- sees a Psychic to make his next move and she leads him to...a Used Car Salesman.

That guy sells him the Book for- wait for it- $1 million.  

That's ALOT!

Also the Psychic is blind, which is supposed to be a twist.

He finally goes to see the Tailor- who, to be clear, is not actually weird here- and everything plays out the same.

Make the Suit between midnight and 5 am.  Use only this material.  No buttons.

During all of this, we see that the depressed Wife keeps the old Suit Mannequin in a nearby Room (since it was damaged) and talks to it because she is so unhappy.

Fun.

In a slight change, the Tailor finds the body and thinks that the Dad killed the Son and, somewhat intentionally, stabs him off-camera.

He returns home and gets abusive, literally choking the wife.

The Mannequin- with the suit on it- comes to life and kills him, speaking to her.
The End.

I think that sometimes less is probably more.  There's probably not a bad Robert Bloch Story out there, right?

Even so, I like the cut down one better.

For one, they don't make the Tailor a bad person.  He's exasperated by being broke and under pressure.  When he kills Smith, it is the classic 'trying to wrestle the gun away' bit, so he's not an active killer.
He's also not awful and then killed (the latter because he has to be 'telling the story,' of course).

Likewise, there's far more mystery about Smith in Asylum as well.  We don't see how his son died, which is key.  We don't see him go to a Psychic- twice, no less! 
Seriously, that second appearance was filler, right?

We also don't know that he's spent all of his money, which is a nice twist to add when the Tailor comes for payment.

Again, I must ask- why is this called 'The Weird Tailor.'  He's a dick in this one, but that's, sadly, not that weird.

So, I won't say that the Thriller Episode is bad- not at all.  It's just a rare case of the shorter version hitting all of the right beats without adding the stuff we don't need.

Fun fact: Jones was the final Villain on Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.  He was a Time Traveler who tried to betray America to the British and change history in their last Episode.

Asylum has the better, shorter version, but do check this one out too.  I mean, it's Thriller- it's always going to be pretty good.

Lost in Translation?: Asylum (1972)

 Asylum was actually kind of good.

Given its great Cast, it shouldn't be a surprise.

Let's see how we sold it in... America?
That's got to be a first for this, no?

House of Crazies?
I mean...I guess...but...no, right?

That extra tagline is really damn silly too.

To bring things full circle, here's a German (I think) DVD that combines both Titles into one...

There we go.

It's also nice of THIS one to Credit the Actors, as opposed to the U.S. Version.

Your move, America.

Shudder Sunday: V/H/S 99 (2022)

Let's look at another VHS Film, since the last one was interesting, to say the least.

Was it good or as bad as everyone online seems to think?

Like Dead of Night (1977), there's no real Framing Device.

Instead, we get interstitial bits of actually good Stop Motion that connects...with a slight problem that will come up.

In the first Story, a bunch of wannabe Punk Kids go to the remains of a Club where a Veruca Salt-style Band was killed in a fire/stomping by fans.

What they find is...well, think Rockafire Explosion, only worse.

In the second Story, a young lady agrees to a really bad hazing ritual to ensure her future.

They lock her in a coffin...and that's before the really bad stuff happens.

Let's just say that you both don't want to be alone in there, but also don't want to have company like this...

In the third Story, a Double Dare/Legend of the Hidden Temple Show ends poorly for a young girl.

Sometime later, the Family takes out on the Host...but there's a twist.

In the fourth Story, we wrap up the Framing Device...but there's still another Story.  Huh?

Anyhow, we see some horny Teens ogle a new Neighbor Lady, but is that a bad idea?

SPOILER ALERT- it is.

In the fifth Story, our Heroes are filming a demonic summoning on the eve of Y2K.  I spent it playing Everquest, but you do you.

It ends quite poorly for them as said ritual takes them somewhere where they really don't want to be.

To find out how this all works out, stream the Film now.

Well, I enjoyed it more than most people online, it seems.

Is it great?  No.
Is it inspired?  Yes.

The first Story was good, even if the setup was way longer than the payoff.  I liked the end result.

The second Story was good in a different way, featuring claustrophobic fright and comeuppance.

The 3rd Story is a mixed bag, as I enjoyed the setup, appreciated the turn and... then kind of got lost with the wrap-up.  It's...I mean...what?!?

The fourth Story was fun for me, ignoring the fact that the Characters are awful.  They get freaky comeuppance as well, so it's all good for me.

The final Story- despite ruining the setup- is a real surprise, doing alot of freaky stuff with a very low budget.

If I had to rank them, I'd go with #5, 3, 4, 2 and 1.

The whole thing is pretty fun, just know that some of the Characters are kind of awful but will get punished in the end. 
Plus, it has a version of the 'Every Indy Horror Film Shows Night of the Living Dead' Cliche for the 1990s- They Play Resident Evil 2.

A fun, but very uneven Horror Anthology Film.  The whole thing hinges upon how much you hate the Characters, so beware.

Immediate Response: Avatar- The Way of Water

 There's nothing like a Thursday evening showing if you want to have the place nearly to yourself.

See my better-late-than-never thoughts on...

The Good

* The Film looks amazing, full of rich vistas, CGI Characters, a blending of real and CGI Actors and amazing water effects.  You can see the money spent.

* The Story does build nicely on the first one, upping the stakes and making the story hinge upon the events of the last Film (which who remembers well at this point?)

* It's all so epic in scope (at least visually), while keeping a very personal Story going.

* The Film has a good (if blunt) message about Ecology and the pointless nature of Revenge.

* They set up a third Film quite nicely, which is a given at this point.

* James Cameron gets to redeem himself for Piranha 2: The Spawning by including Flying Fish in this one.  Good for him.

The Bad

* The Film goes from obvious Indigenous People imagery (they literally attack the Imperials and their trains!) to obvious Maori Imagery (even casting Cliff Curtis).  It's not done in poor taste- it's just super on the nose.

* The whole 'Cut to a Year Later' bit is a real cheat, taking a whole Film's worth of story and throwing it away.  He's going to sell this back to Disney as a Prequel Show, isn't he?

*  The middle chunk of the Film is very *familiar* as Jake and Family have to learn all new skills as N'avi like Jake did in the last Film.  Avoid this in the third Film please.

* Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jake's kids were conceived by his 100% N'avi body, so why do they have human traits?  Seriously, am I just completely wrong here?

* The Plot has one issue- too many Plots.  It can't ever be sure what to focus on, so people drop in and out of the Film for *long* stretches of time.  It's not a massive issue, but it is an issue, nonetheless.

* Hiring Jermain Clement and having him do an American accent.

In summary, it is a great looking, but a bit disjointed of a Film.  Cut this into a multi-Episode Limited Series and it works amazingly well.

Tubi Thursday: Blade The Iron Cross (2020)

 Oh joy- another killer Puppet.  I needed one more for my punch card.

What do I win?  More Full Moon Films?
Joy.

Three years after the last proper Puppet Master Film, we got this Film, which takes one Actor from that Film and one Puppet.
Sadly, it's not Paul Logan and Pinhead in a Buddy Cop Film.

Psychic Daughter is now the Lead as a Year has passed and she's a Reporter.

She doesn't have enough serum for Blade to be reanimated but kept him all the same.

As is the recent trend with Full Moon and these Films, the Villains are- say it with me- more Nazis.

Yes, another Nazi Scientist and another evil plan.

What are they up to?

Blade gets a few chances to shine here as Nazi Agents work to enact their evil plan, which involves Toulon's Serum and 'a drop of electromagnetic energy.'

Yep, a drop.

Can our Heroine use her newfound/completely changed powers to save America from American Nazis?

Something something Richard Spencer being punched.  You get it.

To find out, stream the Film now.

More of the same, which is not exactly a big compliment.  Puppet Master Films have never been amazing- let's just be honest.  Trust me- I own the first NINE OF THEM.

There are good ones.  There are bad ones.  There are very bad ones!

In this case, nothing really, really bad happens.  The usual cheapness is on display yet again.  To show a new Setting, we get a random shot of a building with minor tweaking- usually CGI to put a sign on it- for a good thirty seconds and then everything plays out on a disconnected Interior Set.

They kept up the trick of having the Puppet move via man in suit digitally composed onto the background, which is nice.  There's not too much of it, unfortunately though.  

In its place, more puppet flailing, hand obviously just out of frame and other such tricks to make it look like this 5–7-inch puppet is somehow taking down fully grown people.

Thankfully there's not much CGI blood here- so another positive.

This is the kind of low-budget Film that doesn't aspire to be much and achieves that goal nicely.  I'm working on my backhanded compliments- I hope you like them.

I'll leave you with this Character making the face I make every time I hear about another Puppet Master or Evil Bong Film...

If you're familiar with how Full Moon Films play and feel today, this is no different.  It's just a shame that Blade is sidelined for 2/3 of the runtime.