One last piece of fun and friendly before it's all Horror for October. This time, let's look at something I never cover if I have the choice- a Musical. It's The Pirate Movie, a 1982 Film that is a bit of Cult Classic. I mean, it's almost 40 years old and didn't do well in Theaters- what else does it need? It came to us from a Land Down Under where something something Men at Work. Australian jokes are too easy, no? I could make some Gilbert and Sullivan jokes, I suppose. I'm still kicking myself for not making one back in the Wrestlewar Series on Let's Go to the Ring when a Match featured a Gilbert (Eddie) and a Sullivan (Kevin). What a fool I was! Also enjoy that cheap plug. The Film was based *somewhat* on the famous Story/Musical and had to rush things when a proper Film adaptation was announced. Weird little fact for you: that Film (from 1983) caused a stir when it was released Theatrically and on a (prototype) Streaming Service known as SelecTV and ONTV. No joke. So what is The Pirate Movie? It's a Musical Comedy. It's both an adaptation of the Story, a twist on it and a bit of a Parody. Is it too much at once? Kind of. The Film is very '80s, as seen by the Casting of Kristy McNichol and Christopher Atkins. One quit Acting in 2001, while the other appeared in The Little Unicorn the same year. Who made the right call? All jokes aside, this is going to get weird, so get ready to become a swashbuckler...
In Australia, a shy young lady (McNichol) tries to impress a young man (Atkins).
It doesn't go well, although he does seem to fall for her charms in spite of, well, everything.
A trip with him ends up being just a trip with HER FRIENDS going with him, as they leave her behind.
Given how they (jokingly) hold him down, is this kidnapping?
Also what do they plan to do with him all day?
She tries to follow them in a boat, but falls into the water.
When she wakes up, she's living 100 years ago with all of her Sisters.
So, obvious question, if this all just her dream, why does she give a full backstory to Atkins and the Pirate King?
The short version: he doesn't want to be a Pirate, since they 'killed his Parents.' Dark backstory for Gilbert and Sullivan, no?
Said Pirates show up to, well, pillage and rape the nearby land and people (in that order).
Luckily, the Dad shows up, does some patter singing and convinces them to leave since 'they're all Orphans.'
You think that SHE might save the day in her own dream...
She and Atkins, of course, fall in love and go about finding the family's lost treasure. Just like in Yellowbeard, it involves a map on someone's body.
Thankfully, the Pirate King goes all
Total Package to reveal the Map while trying to, ahem, seduce McNichol.
Mind you, he's LITERALLY twice her age (she's 20 and he's 45), so it's thankfully just a trick.
We get a big showdown between Atkins and the King which culminates in a playful bit of copyright infringement.
Of course, kids in the '80s love legal loopholes and contract law, so that's the real end.
After the duo (of course) break up before the end, we get a big battle of the Pirates vs some Cops and the Staff at the House.
Said Cops make the Keystone Cops look like Denzel Washington from
Training Day!
Our Heroine finally admits to herself that this is all just her dream and, well, gives everyone a happy ending.
In real life, she also gets one, since subtlety is long dead here. The End.
A silly, but enjoyable time. The Film is by no means perfect. It is goofy. It is ridiculous. It is bizarre. That said, I did kind of enjoy it. It's just on the right side of 'so bad it is good.' There's just enough META jokes and references to make it acceptable. They make it all a crazy bit of heightened reality. If you can get into the silliness, you can enjoy it. Given it's 8% Rotten Tomatoes Score, I might be in the minority. It's not great, but I can laugh at the silliness for 90 minutes. It also beat Disney to 'it's first Gay Character' by, well, alot.
Next up, October begins properly with some Horror. It's going to be a long, crazy month if the first Film is any indication. Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment