'70s Trash: The Freakmaker (aka Mutations)

A collaboration of multiple Doctors that actually features all of the Actors!  This is The Freakmaker aka Mutations aka like 6 other things.  It's a 1970s Horror Film from Britain that is a mix of two stories sewn together like some sort of, well, freak.  One story involves a Scientist looking to evolve humanity to the next level.  Sure- it's crazy when Doc Terror wants to do it by making us all cyborgs, but...oh, I see it now.  The other story involves a deformed man running a freak show who captures people.  The two join forced to help each other in the weirdest PSA on cooperation ever!  The Film is right proper British, but mostly in that trashy way that makes it kind of fun.  No snooty men with mutton chops or carriages like those Hammer Films.  No, this is the dirty streets, back alley Britain that is less featured.  It is so British, in fact, that the Director's last name is Cardiff!  The Film features a crazy creature, as well as some real life 'freaks.'  Speaking of which, this Movie may feel familiar at points, but we'll get to that.  For now, wait for the reveal of our two Doctors and see how crazy this is.  And yes, my copy has the updated logo and copyright on it- weird...

A Scientist yammers on about how plants evolve and adapt to their environment as we see Stock Footage of just that.

For one, I want to see a Debate between this guy and the 'bugs are superior' guy from that Film.
Yes, I did choose the most phallic image they show here.

Said person is Donald Pleasance, who was just lecturing his College Class (full of 30 year olds).

He wants man to evolve like plants do in order to survive.
He's clearly the perfect genetic specimen, so he has all of the rights to judge us.

The other 'Doctor' is this misshapen man who kidnaps people out in the open to experiment on them.

It's hard to tell under all of the make-up, but that is Tom Baker!

After Frankenstein and Sinbad, but before Doctor Who he was doing this!

Donald tries to work and show his crazy evolution machine (which can turn a rock into an orange!) to a colleague.

When that doesn't get him far enough, he captures a new victim (after Topless Woman on Slab #1) with Baker.

The experiment to make him a plant-man hybrid fails...or does it?

Baker's B-Plot involves him hiding out in a Freak Show that he runs.  The Film pads things out by giving us a long Freak Show section.

Later on, the 'freaks' celebrate and declare him 'one of us,' which makes him mad.  Hmm...

The experiment earlier worked, giving birth to a new plant-man!  Both him and Baker target the Female Lead, but the latter gets her.

She's taken and ends up as Topless Woman on Slab #2.

Baker's Plot wraps up before the finale as the 'freaks' turn on him for being an asshole by killing him by the wagons.

Did you get that this was Freaks yet?!?

As for Pleasance, his plant-man shows up and kills him (see Stinger).  Our Male Lead shows up after the plant-man is burning from the fire he started in the lab.

He rescues her, although they try to imply that she will transform too!  The End.

A grotesque oddity that is kind of fun and crazy at times.  To begin, the Film is certainly flawed.  It has a big scope it aims for, but clearly has the Budget for far less.  We get a tight number of actual Leads, since we have so many ancillary Characters to support.  Most of them shine here though.  Michael Dunn, who died after his Scenes were shot, brings a certain grace to a Freak Show.  Baker plays his role as mostly-menace, but some nice character moments sneak in.  His big one involves him asking a Prostitute to say that she 'loves' him and offering her more money to do it.  Pleasance is low-key insane here, which is nice to see for me.  Other Critics called his performance 'wooden,' but there's a difference.  The actual Leads are nothing special, but you can't have the story without them.  The 'freaks' are a bit of a distraction, but they are real people and bring a certain charm.  Their section is mostly-padding though, as mentioned.  The Film's monster is just on the good side of cheesy.  You can't see the zipper, so that's a plus.  They clearly have enough budget for one monster suit and one gross out effect (below), so why not run with it?  The Freakmaker is a bit trashy and silly.  If you like that, this will probably entertain you.  Anyone who wouldn't see a Film called The Freakmaker is rightly-justified in skipping this though.  And now, the dangers of crash dieting...

Next time, it is a Holiday treat.  By that, I mean it's a Thriller set on a Holiday and it's not for the whole family.  Stay tuned...