Tubi Thursday: The Hand (1981)

 What happens when you lose a part of yourself?
What happens when you make a Film with a Script you hate so that you can fix up your House?

To find out the answer to both questions, read on...

Michael Caine is a Cartoonist named John Landsdale.  He makes a strip sort of like Prince Valiant, only people under 70 read it.

He's also not in a great relationship with his Wife when...

A freak car accident happens.

He has his right hand out and it strikes the back of a truck, severing it.

That's...some blood pressure.

He doesn't take it well, as they can't find his hand.

There is no way to reattach it.

Can he find a new life without his old job?
Does he like this one?

He gets a high end (for 1981) replacement for it.

If only 3-D Printers were around then, eh?

With a new hand, can he move on?

Well, not exactly.

He ends up teaching Art at a College, while his Wife and Daughter are away.

He finds a new, younger woman...because it is Michael Caine.  He does that.

He's 22 years her Senior.  He could drink when she was born.

In time, he tries to reconnect with his Wife around Christmas time.

Is it too late?

Can this happy couple work things out?

Oh and why is there a phantom hand killing people?

The answer is 'no' and 'there isn't one.'  Or is there?
The Movie is vague and I'm not super invested by this point.

The End.

A Film with a crazy premise...but it isn't quite what you'd expect.

I was thinking based on the premise that it was either about a killer hand or Caine's new false hand going on a rampage.

It's...not that.

Instead this is all about Caine slowly going kind of crazy and people putting up with him.  Is this just a Brian DePalma Film?

Oh, it's by...Oliver Stone?!?

Caine, to his credit, does a good job, in spite of only doing this for the money.
This feels quite a bit like Magic.

If you want a bonkers Film that embraces this setup, go with Body Parts or Idle Hands.

I sure can't think of another Film where I guy has to fight his disembodied hand...

A Film that is much more of a Psychological Thriller than it sounds.  I sure hope Mr. Caine's House turned out nice.

Fiction vs. Fiction: The Amityville Horror (1979)

 Long ago, I covered the original Amityville Horror Films.  Is that due for a Compendium too?

In any event, I stumbled upon the original Book (actually 2 copies, but I only need 1).
It is pretty famous, so why not check it out?

It is time for another face-off between the written and visual mediums...

***VS***

What's the Same?

Both the Film and Book tell the tale of the Lutz Family in 112 Ocean Ave.  They buy a House unaware of the recent murders...somehow.

Strange stuff starts to happen.  Flies appear.  George goes crazy.

In the End, they leave (and The Conjuring Series is somehow set up).

What's Different?

So if the Story Beats are the same, why bother with this?
Well, many MANY things were added or removed.

George goes crazy in the Book as he's always cold, confused by the dog's behavior and awoken at 3:15 am every morning.

In the Film, he's driven mad and compelled to try and kill his family!

This is not in the Book.  The Remake added him killing the Dog (which led to a lawsuit).

The Book has weird stuff like a ceramic lion somehow moving (when nobody is watching) and somehow attacking George (which he doesn't see).  
This is not in the Film.

The Babysitter Scene is only in the Film(s).

The Book implies that the House drove George to not shave, making him end up looking like Ronald DeFeo (who died in 2021).
The Film just has James Brolin with the beard from the get-go.  Probably easier for a Film.

Curiously, the Book calls the Priest as 'Father Mancuso.'  The Film calls him Father Delaney.
He's made sick and eventually made blind by the evil forces.
In the Book, he grows welts and feels sick all of the time.

In a random change, he always seems to be talking to Kathy and not George in the Film.  I guess it is because George is just going crazy.

The Book's finale has George speaking in tongues, Kathy floating and other weird stuff.  They leave.
An Epilogue says that people came in, felt sick...but otherwise saw nothing crazy.

Final Thoughts

The Book really tries to get you to relate to the Family.  It also features lots of little details like random drawings of the House Layout at key points.

The Film really lays it on thick with George being driven crazy and erratic.  It makes for a more interesting Film to have him be 'a villain,' whether he's in control or not.

The Book really pushes the idea that the Family must work together to survive.  The Film is about the House making George into 'a new Ronald.'

What is Better?

The Book.

While the Film has big moments, I think the focus change is a misstep.  Yep, I'm here telling you that a Classic Film that got 27 and 3/4 Sequels got it wrong.

Welcome to Film Blogging.

A Book that is full of third-hand accounts of fright and unprovable things.  That said, it builds up dread and makes you feel for the Family more than the Film(s).

Shudder-day: Dangerous Animals (2025)

 Let's go to the Land Down Under.

Is this Film good enough to redeem the former Captain Boomerang?

Let's find out...

Jai Courtney plays a guy named Tucker (or Tuck) is a guy you hire to people you 'swim' with sharks in a cage.

He's a modern day Captain Ron (will anyone under 40 get this joke), but...

He's also a Serial Killer.

He tortures ladies and then feeds them to sharks.

You're no chum of mine!

He kidnaps our Film's Heroine one night and takes him out to his boat.

Alongside another future victim, she waits and plans an escape.

He's going to feed the other lady to a shark and make her watch.

It will be her turn soon enough...

Can she find a way to escape from his boat?
Is he truly the 'apex predator' that he thinks of himself as?

Or will this guy rise to the occasion to save the day?

My money is on the sharks.
No offense.

To find out, stream it now....

An intense and visceral Film.

Kudos to Australia for raising the bar.  We in America tend to get lots of CGI Shark Movies via Syfy or, well, the one remaining Polonia Brother.

This one is a good mix of Genres as Courtney really nails the intense killer vibe.  He can be emotionless in the right moments and very angry in the other moments.

I won't SPOIL it, but he has as a great weakness that our Heroine exploits to save her life (for the time being).

The sharks work well here as an existential threat just waiting to be used.  They are like a loaded gun sitting on the edge of desk.
You know that they will be used...it's just a matter of when.

If you like the sort of Character Driven Thriller that this one gives you, take a look.  As for this Poster though.... I have questions...

A Film that mixes human killers and sharks- just not in a dumb, sci-fi way.  It's a breath of fresh air.

Streaming Standard: Chucky- Season 3

 A Review that I've put off for a good reason.  
I'll get to that later.

For now, know that this is the 3rd and (for now) final Season of the Show.

Will it end in a strong way?
To find out, read on...

Many things have changed since the Ending of Season 2.

Chucky is back alive just fine and is now residing in The White House as the personal doll of the President's youngest Son.

How did he get there?  Find out...in 2 full Episodes.

The President is played by Devon Sawa, marking his 4th Character on the Show.

They explained it when he was the Dad's twin Brother, but gave up in Season 2.
Why not make him be The President now?

'I won't die...for at least 4 Episodes.'

Our Heroes try to recover from the violence and insanity of the last Season.

Our Heroine's Sister is still missing, a mystery that will also not be explained until Episode 3.

They eventually discover where Chucky is, but how do they get into the White House?
They aren't construction workers who can take down the East Wing!

We'll also find out that something is wrong with Chucky's doll body....and soul.

This is going to raise the stakes.
Now he's really going to die...possibly...okay, obviously not really.

Elsewhere, Jennifer Tilly is convicted of all of the murders and sent to Death Row in Texas.

Can she escape now that she's gotten all of the voodoo items that give her power?

I can only pretend that there's drama here for so long.

Things all come to a head in the White House!

Our Heroes must not only stop Chucky, but his soul itself.

Can they do it...or does the Show end on just the most complete reset possible?

Is it clear that I'm annoyed yet?

Yeah, so I have some real issues here.

For starters, the Show gets far less dramatic when you realize that its Creator has zero interest in ever ending this Story.  
Three Films?  Not enough.  Two more Films?  Nope.  Two more Films?  Nope!!!

What is frustrating to me is that there is some real creativity involved in the Show.  On its own merits, it is not bad.

They just refuse to let Chucky ever be in real peril.  When he dies, there are a dozen Chucky Dolls.  When those are destroyed, there's another hidden one.  When that one dies, there's yet ANOTHER super-secret hidden one (and also being dead makes him somehow stronger).

Don Mancini- the rare Creator who never left his Series after 30+ years- promises to continue to the Story with yet another Film.

Will this be a finale?  I doubt it.

I was never a huge Chucky fan, but I have seen all but one of the Films (even the Reboot).  That said, a refusal to ever end things just feels like...well, I need a visual metaphor...

That will do.

A Show that I grew to like in the early days.  In spite of it killing off Characters at random, I stuck with it...and this is what I got.

2025 Update: Jurassic World Rebirth (2025)

 I pay for Peacock to keep watching old Wrestling Shows.
Seeing Blockbusters first run on Streaming is just a bonus.

This is...

In the Cold Open, we see that a Lab was running in 2008 that was making mutant Dinosaurs...because reasons.

It ends poorly...and will eventually matter in Act 3.

A bunch of folks go to an Island near Central America to get some Dinosaur DNA.

As it turns out, the Dinos are dying off in the Years since Dominion, but their blood can be used to cure Heart Disease.
Sure- why not?!?

Leading the expedition is Scarlet Johansen as a Mercenary in it for the money.

The trip to the Island- as you can see above- goes bad and now they are stranded.

She has to work with an old Colleague, the rich guy funding it and People's Sexiest Man Alive 2025.

He's the Dino Expert who is more than happy to finally see and interact with the real thing.

Of course, this Film can't agree that Dinosaurs are majestic creatures or things to be feared.

As they work together, do they form a connection?
Will they actually give this research to the public?

Will they live to do so?
To find out, stream it now.

A fun, if uneven Film experience.

Rebirth is a Film of two parts- in many, many ways.

For one thing, the Plot is split to follow two different groups- our Heroes and a family (that I didn't even mention!).
Both end up on the Island, turning the Film almost into a series of Vignettes in Act 2.

The Film is also split on what exactly the Dinosaurs really are.
Sometimes they are beautiful creatures that we should feel pity for when they can't survive in our World.
Other times they are dangerous killing machines that must be stopped at all cost!

Nope did this balance far better.  Sorry.

Complaints aside, the Film looks great.  The Film is vibrant and the VFX are amazing.
On top of that, the Set Pieces usually deliver in a big way.

At its worst, Dominion nailed this well.  This one just has more of them.

Ultimately, the Film can be a bit disconnected, but you'll likely love all of the big moments.  When they work, they work.

A Film that is a bit disjointed and can't quite nail a tone.  That said, it is a popcorn flick with great effects and enough hear to be more than it seems.

Tubi Thursday: Sisu (2022)

 Is this the glorious Grindhouse Action Thriller that I was promised?

Let's find out (just in time for a Sequel I'm just now learning about) ...

Sisu is apparently a Finnish word for 'deep, uncontrollable rage.'

So how does it relate to this poor Gold Miner just waiting for WWII to end in 1944?

Well, after striking it rich, he goes back home.

Along the way, he's hassled by a bunch of Nazis who plan to rob him.

It ends...poorly for them.

The other group he passed on the way double back and now he's got lots of enemies, including ones with a tank!

In spite of their best efforts, they can't seem to kill him.

Just like, in spite of everyone's best efforts, it's hard not to get a little bit of Fury Road into your Action Films in the last Decade.

Can they take him down?
Is one man enough to survive a small Platoon of history's greatest henchmen?

To find out, stream it now.

A Film that just plain works.

It's a simple tale.  Man meets Nazis.  Man kills Nazis.

What more do you need?

Our Hero is built up nicely, with you seeing that there is clearly more going on with him before the action starts.
He turns out to be as creative as he is unwilling to die.  He doesn't overpower his foes with ease.

The Film is full of visceral gore and violence.  If you heard anything about how violent this can be, they didn't warn you enough.

If you're willing to embrace the whole experience- the mud, the vengeance and the gore-, the Film works very well.

I had legit forgot about this one after its original release and my desire to see it was renewed when I saw it on here.
I'm glad that I did.

Take us out, Japan and, as always, a kick ass cover.

A bloody good time, provided you give it time to build.  It's a mix of John Wick and Rambo in Finland which hits just right.

Compendium: EVERY 'Children of the Corn' Film!

 I spent a brief time long ago going through most of these Films.  I eventually found out that I had to do more to complete the Set.

They. Just. Kept. Making. Them!

With this last Review, I'm 99.999998% sure that I've done them all.
If they do more, I guess I'll just have to harvest an Update for this.

Let's start at the VERY beginning...

1) Disciples of the Crow- This is the from King's Dollar Baby Series.  He'd charge you a dollar and you could adapt a Story.

This one was collected in The Night Shift Collection- Volume 2.

2) Children of the Corn (1984)- This Title is sadly shared at least 2x in the Series.  This is the OG version- aka the one Kind didn't like.

3) Children of the Corn II- The Final Sacrifice- Yep, we've hit the word 'Final' in just Part 2.  Yikes.

This one is often found bundled in DVDs with the Original and retcons random parts of the story.

4) Children of the Corn III- Urban Harvest- A rare instance of where the word 'Urban' in a Horror Film Title doesn't just mean Black.

In this tale, 2 Brothers from Gatlin are adopted and move to Chicago.  A random Oscar Winner Cameo occurs too.

5. Children of the Corn- The Gathering- A new Dimension (Films) takes over here.  This is one of those 'Yes, Famous Person X was in this before they got big' Films.

Is there more to it though?

6. Children of the Corn V- Fields of Terror- The fun and silly one.

It is famous for featuring Genre Legends like David Carradine and newcomers like Eva Mendez...but that's about it.

7. Children of the Corn 666- Isaac's Return- When in doubt, bring a Legacy Character back.  This was a thing even back in 1999.

Does bringing him back make a good Movie?

8. Children of the Corn- Revelations- A Film that I was clearly just about over with from the getgo.

Regardless, I did watch and explain it all.

9. Children of the Corn (2009)- The Remake made to please Stephen King.  Well, another one made for that reason.

He's allowed to have his opinions, but did we need this?

10. Children of the Corn- Genesis- The Dimension EXTREME(!!!) line gave us many Sequels to keep the rights.

This is another one- now with even less corn!

11. Children of the Corn- Runaway- I legit forgot that this existed until I saw it listed on Tubi.

As such, the Director of Feast got a shot in 2018 and it sure...is a thing.

12. Children of the Corn (2020)- Barely a Decade after the last Remake, we have another?!?

This one is a completely new thing- for better or worse.

Me after doing the first 7 in about a week.

According to Wikipedia, that does it.

Watch someone do another Remake next week now!