Chomp Chomp: Primeval (2007)

 As you wait for Santa and his Claus, here's a tale of a Crocodile and its Jaws!

This is Primeval, a 2007 Film that was one of the TWO Films both about a Killer Crocodile (not to be confused with the pair of Films called that) released in 2007.
It is also not to be confused with the TV Show of the same name.

To be fair, this one is based on a 2004 Documentary about one.
Plus, this one is in Africa and the other one is in Australia.

The Plot involves a Reporter and Staff being sent to Africa to look into Gustave the Crocodile after he kills a lady Scientist.
She's White, so get in there!

By the way, if you think that's just a me thing, it is ACTUALLY STATED in the Film by Orlando Jones.

Can they survive long enough to catch the killer?
Did this Film's marketing imply that it was a human and some people got pissed off?

To find out, read on... 

In the Cold Open, this lady is killed by a Crocodile.

I mean, what else is there to say here?
It's muddy and they don't actually show it to you just yet.

In America, a Reporter- Dominic Purcell- is sent on assignment to cover the story.

He's facing backlash for some sources that didn't pan out.

None of that actually matters, of course- it's just to set the mood for how people treat him.

In Africa, the group- Purcell, a lady Reporter with connections to his Boss and Orlando Jones- face some bureaucracy before finally going into the wild.

They get a Guide and a Hunter- Jurgen Prochnow.

He's grouchy and not at all like Quint. 

They get out there and try to set a trap for Gustave.

There's conflict between the Guide and Prochnow, however, as the latter wants it dead.

Jones goes out on his own to get some B-Roll and accidentally gets footage of some men killing a Rebel Witch Doctor that they met the previous day or so ago.

Come nightfall, they try to catch it.

However, their local Helper is nearly killed by Gustave in the process and it eventually escapes.

They soon discover that the real danger is the people out there.

They know that they have some incriminating footage and want it.

Is it odd that Gustave is accidentally a helper here?

Yes.

Of course, he's not exactly buddy-buddy with them.

They try to return to the mainland and their Guide is killed.

They get separated and Jones is chased by Gustave in one of the few non-nighttime shots of the 'beast.'

They are confronted by the real villain- aka Little Gustave- and he demands the information.

Of course, Gustave (the real one) makes his presence felt too.

Our Heroes get away and bring the local guide back to America.

As for the Crocodile, well...

A Film that is not what is promised- for better or for worse.

As noted, the TV and Newspaper Ads (those were a thing in 2007!) talked about how 'Gustave was the most prolific Serial Killer in the World.'

Yeah's he's a Crocodile.

To be fair, their website ads (those were just recently a thing) talked about the Crocodile aspect.

Here's the other thing- Gustave is almost a secondary threat/attraction here.

The Film spends a good chunk of time really focusing on the political strife, violence and danger of Africa at this time (it's super chill now- don't Google it).

That's fine...but you're the Killer Crocodile Film.

I know that CGI is expensive, but this is a bit of a bait and switch.

It's still pretty good, but, no offense, I hope that the other one of these- Rogue- is better.

Next up, some proper Holiday stuff.  Tis the Season and all that jazz.  Stay tuned...

Holiday Shudder-Day: The Sacrifice Game (2023)

 A Film about a dark, blood sacrifice- Merry Christmas to me!

This is The Sacrifice Game, a 2023 Horror Film brought to me by Shudder.  I had more plans for Christmas than I can manage- basically a free/cheap way to cover the 2019 Black Christmas Remake- this Year.

As such, I'll settle for this Film- the Horror Version of The Holdovers.

* 1970's Setting- check.
* Student(s) and Teacher left at a School- check.
* Lots of death- okay, just this one.

This one is recent, so minimal SPOILERS ahoy!

A gang of crazed killers is on the loose in 1971.

They are very ritualistic and there's clearly something more going on.

Bad news- they are headed towards a School.

There's worse news, of course.

A trio of people are left there for Christmas.

A young lady abandoned by her Stepdad due to a business, a strange girl stuck there for no clear reason and a Teacher to watch them.

Things go badly for everyone involved.

Cop on the way- dead.
Boyfriend- not doing well.

Oh, and they're here to summon something evil...

What happens when things don't quite go their way?

Well, there's a good 30 minutes left in the Film for worse things still to happen.

To find out, stream this festive fright now.

A fun, freaky Christmas Film for all of you out there who don't want to watch A Christmas Story all day.

This one is more of a freaky Film than a scary Film.

It features some brutal stuff, so don't go expecting psychological torture or any of this boring (in this single instance) stuff.

The Film pulls no punches in nearly every Scene that involves something bad happening to a human body.  It has an extra edge because- for the most part- you are seeing people that feel real having very bad things happening to them.

In other words, it is more A Nightmare on Elm Street than A Nightmare on Elm Street 6 (which is still fun TBF).

The Plot takes some nice twists and turns.  You'll probably figure some of them out before the Characters do.

Even so, I liked the whole thing for being a bit subversive and interesting.

Now to tell a friend- they love my recommendations!

A Film that is more than what you think.  It doesn't reinvent the wheel either- so just enjoy it!

Disaster Flix: Into the Storm (2014)

After Twister.
Before Twisters.

This is Into the Storm, a 2014 Film about, well, a storm.
This one doesn't seem to be that well remembered and that's a shame.  I remember renting this- probably around 2015- and enjoying it.

Smash cut to me spotting it this Year and realizing that I somehow didn't review it.

The Plot involves a small Town, a Cast of Characters living in or entering said Town and a massive Storm.
What it does well is make a small Cast matter with backstories, motivations and all that stuff.

When the disaster happens, you root for them and hope for the best.

Can a future Dwarf from The Hobbit and a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade survive?
To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, a group of teens driving down a road at night run across a tornado.

It doesn't end well for them.

A group of Storm Chasers and a Docunentary Crew are trying to catch some action on Film, but it's been a dry 3 months.

With funding drying up, will a nearby Town (from said accident) bear fruit?

The key Story here is a widowed Father (Richard Armitage) and his two teenage Sons.

He has them shooting a Time Capsule video for the Town and there's tension, ever since the Mother's death.

There's also a pair of wannabe Jackass Cast Members.

They seem willing to do anything dangerous for YouTube views.

Insert Mr. Beast Joke Here.

The older Brother has a thing for this girl in School and takes his chance to get close to her.

He helps her document a factory that polluted the Town, which means missing the filming of the Graduation Ceremony.

Dad isn't happy.

The Crew is getting ready to leave Town when it starts to suddenly hail.

Now a real Storm is breaking out and they are ready to cover it.

The Brother is at the Factory when it hits the nearby area, trapping them.

Meanwhile, the Storm gets worse and worse for those outside.

Can our Heroes get the shots they need?

Can our Family survive?

Will these two guys somehow not win The Darwin Award?

To find out, watch it now.

A Film that, for as loud as it can be, came and went pretty quietly.
Its Director- Steven Quale- has only made one other Film since this, in 2017.

I remember seeing this about 10 years ago and being really impressed.  Thankfully, I feel the same way in 2024.

I should also mention that this is *mostly* a Found Footage Film.  I still like it allot!

The Film works so well because you get just enough Character Work to make you really care about the random Characters.  They are fleshed out enough without the Film being bogged down with personal drama.

The Special Effects here are great.  Even with a scrutinizing eye and 10 years later, they look amazing.  Really good work here.

If you loved Twisters, you really need to see (or revisit) this forgotten 'missing link' between Twister (which I will revisit on Blu-Ray soon) and it.

It literally has Twisters in it!

Next up, let me look one half a very specific trend from 2007.  Chomp chomp, folks!

Tubi Thursday: Krampus- The Reckoning (2015)

 Let's wrap our yearly look at Krampus Films up with one that I probably should have done first.

When you look up Krampus Films, this one usually comes up first.

Is it the bad CGI?  The 2015 release date?

Yes.

In the Cold Open, a young girl talks to her Grandma about how unhappy she is.

She's told the story of Krampus (we're told).

Some vague amount of time later, a girl is annoyed with her Foster Parents and pulls out a strange doll.

A terrible CGI Model...I mean, Krampus shows up and kills both of them.

We are told that they were burned up as well.

This Cop- who looks like Claudio Castagnoli if you squint- is on the case.

It only gets harder when a Nurse that the girl doesn't like is killed by Krampus too.

At least they sprung for the make-up effects on him.

The Child Psychologist is on the case.

She's got her own stuff going on too, from her adopted Son to her strange scar and her lack of childhood memories.

I'm sure that won't pan out.

Krampus is continuing to punish those that are bad, seemingly at the girl's beck and call.

This...is really what they went with.

Can the truth get revealed?

Will it make any sense?

To find out, ho-ho-hop on over to Tubi to stream it now.

One of the OG Krampus Films- even if still only exists due to the Hollywood Film.

This one is weird.  Let me do the positives...

Krampus is a Monster.
The Plot is more complex than it seems.

Oh and there's lots of random Nudity that comes out of nowhere, if that does it for you.

The negatives- that Krampus Model is so blatantly CGI.  Couldn't you make a mask or something for close-ups?
Credit for not making him look like Ares like in that last Film, but...this CGI Model is a good start and nothing more.
Hell, even if you can't afford better, show it sparingly!

The Plot is so bizarre that it kind of warps around from making no sense to being clever.  It's still not good, but they also didn't take the easy way out.

They did, however, get me an early present- another fake Movie Search Engine...

There are worse Krampus Films and it aimed high.  Unfortunately, the Plot was still kind of silly when you really think about it for five seconds.

New(er) Flix: Batman- The Doom That Came to Gotham (2023)

 An early Christmas present for myself!

I've not caught up on the more recent DCAU stuff, especially in wake of the mixed to bad Reviews.

Even so, I'm a sucker for Elseworlds Batman and bought a used Copy of this on Blu-Ray.

Let's see what we got...

In this Tale, Bruce Wayne is investigating a lost expedition in the Arctic.

This is surely not based on a real event, says DC Lawyers.

The Leader- Oswald Cobblepot- ran off and joined the Penguins.

The other survivor runs to a Cave and vows to release an ancient being.

They bring him back to Gotham, Wayne coming back for the first time since his Parents were killed.

He goes back to his old House and meets some old friends- Harvey Dent and Oliver Queen.

Oh and a body is left in his House!

Of course, he's really here as Batman, making his first appearance in the City.

He's just in time as all sorts of bad things are happening, like the death of a Scientist (as mentioned) and strange robberies.

When he tries to stop one, he runs across Talia and she summons a creature to stop him.

Out on the streets, we get Lovecraftian Killer Croc.

Can he stop the evil before it gets summoned?

Will his allies be enough to turn the tide?

Will you realize before the end that this doesn't have a Joker in it?

To find out, buy or stream it now.

A fun, freaky and interesting Film.

I never read the Mike Mignola Comic of the same name, so I didn't know what to expect.  This blind buy sure paid off though.

This Elseworlds Tale truly makes the most of the open concept.  Everyone is different.

The Origins of the Villains are quite different and fun.

I really liked this version of Mr. Freeze (cheekily referred to as a 'Zero') and Poison Ivy.

There's lots of great Voice Talent here, including Jeffrey Combs and David Dastmalchian.  The less famous- at least to me- Actors here impress as well.

This new(ish) Batman is great.

If you expect a Mike Mignola-influenced Film based on Lovecraft, this will not disappoint.

Now much do I need this Comic?

Batman is always great when allowed to be himself.  When you add in Mike Mignola and Lovecraft, it is a match made in Heaven (and R'yleh).

Shudder Day: Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)

Another traumatizing Christmas Film.

Ho ho ho!

In this 2022 Film, we are introduced to a bunch of weird Hipsters in a random Town on Christmas Eve.

The duo- who run a Record Store- hang out with their friends- a Couple who run a Toy Store- for a bit.

The guy- Jonah Ray Rodrigues, who I keep seeing ONLY on Shudder Films.
Weird!

In the Intro, we get News Exposition (or Newsposition) about how a Company retrofitted Battle Androids to make Santas.

They were all taken out of Stores though...or were they?!?

They go home, unaware of the danger that has just woken up.

To the annoyance of some Commenters on Shudder, they spend quite a while riffing on Music, Films and other topics.

Just be patient though.

Soon enough, 'Santa' has killed the pair at the Store and follows them home.

It takes out some more victims and NOBODY is safe!

Can the Cops save the day?  
Can they ever in these Films?

Will our Final Girl live up to her name?

To find out, stream it now.

A bloody fun Film, once you let it get going.

Right off the bat, let me cover the obvious complaint- the Intro.  It is prolonged.  It is a few long Scenes of our Leads interacting.  It does feel improvised quite a bit.

Is that bad?  For me, no.

This made the Film feel 'real' and the Characters fleshed out.  
We get to see these people 'being real' with each other for a bit before the chaos begins.

Once said chaos begins, of course, there's little time to rest.

My only real complaint is that the killer Santa Robot doesn't really 'feel' like a robot until the latter half of the Film.  It's just a big guy walking around with them adding in 'robot' noises with each step.

I do also wonder how he sneaks up on people when every step sounds like an hydraulic press!

Christmas Bloody Christmas is a bloody good time and I recommend it to all fans of Indy Horror.
There's enough extra with the whole 'robot' element to make it feel different.

Plus, we got this nice Christmas card out of it.

Blood and guts abound...eventually.  Give the Movie some time and I think it will grow on you by the end.