'00s Class: Underworld (2003)

 At long last, the time to revisit the original Film has arrived.

This is Underworld, a 2003 Horror Film that really changed the game.  It was designed to be deep in lore about Vampires and Werewolves.

So deep, in fact, that they had to settle a lawsuit with the people over at White Wolf.

The Plot, if you don't know, involves Selene.  She's a Vampire who is a Death Dealer- essentially the strike force of her Clan.  She runs across a scheme involving Michael and everything changes.

Besides the focus on lore, this Film brought in creative ways to show a modern Vampire and Werewolf, a constant blue lighting and continued the Action in Leather trend from The Matrix.

Personally, I remember going to see this at my local Theater and seeing two Goth people hanging out at the Mall before the Showing.  We joked that they were also going to see this...and they were.

To see how one Film can break up a marriage and also lead to a new one, read on...

Selene is a Death Dealer.  She kills Werewolves.

She runs across an attack in the Subway by some Lycan, but doesn't realize just yet who their target was.

Her Leader- for now- is Kraven.

He is in charge due to a tale of heroism and, well, nothing else.

I guess anyone with that jawline gets a pass.

This is Lucian.

He's a legendary Lycan that led a revolt that started the War between both groups.
To see how that went, go to Prequel Review here.

He's supposed to be dead- killed by Kraven- so why is he leading an attempt to capture a human?

Said Human is Michael, an EMT in Prague (which the Film doesn't pretend is America).

He's being targeted due to his blood, which can apparently allow him to become a hybrid of Lycan and Vampires.

Said Lycans are absolutely terrifying- shades of Dog Soldiers and The Howling- and are aided by the fact that Kraven is downplaying their threat all the time.

It is because he is working with Lucian- shock horror!

Fortunately, Selene has her own Q to make her some bullets that release silver nitrate when they enter a body- something that is deadly to a Lycan.

They retrofitted some bullets that released UV light (in capsules) used by the Lycan in Act 1...that never appeared again.

Selene also awakens the Vampire Lord Viktor (Bill Nighy) early to deal with the rising threat.

Of course, she then finds out later that he killed her family, but spared her (due to her resemblance to his Daughter that he killed).

In a crowded Act 3, lots of Characters- like Lucian- die, others are betrayed and Selene kills Viktor to save Michael, who has fully transformed into a hybrid after her bite.

To see what followed, of course, go to the Sequel's Review here.

A Film that thankfully holds up pretty darn well.

The Film really has some great atmosphere.  Yes, everything is tinted blue.

They make the whole world feel very lived in by fleshing out so many details.

You only really notice that there are like 5 important people here if some jerk points it out to you.

Speaking of details, I watched the Extended Unrated Cut.
It isn't much bloodier and it is only a bit longer.  The big winner here is Erika, the blond vampire, as she actually has more Scenes and agency.

Otherwise, it doesn't help.

The Film looks and feels great after all of this time.  The big moments still hit and it is worth a rewatch.
Some moments- like this- will live in my brain forever.

Next up, let's celebrate Black History Month with a return to Bond.  Does my favorite Bond Film ever hold up today?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: The Ugly Stepsister (2025)

This one was recommended to me by a friend on Facebook.
It has been nominated for an Oscar.

Is this Norwegian Film a dark horse pick?

Are you a fan of Wicked?  
You like the idea of a famous Fairy Tale told from a different perspective?

Well, this one focuses on Elvira, who becomes the Stepsister to...

Agnes, the 'pretty' girl.

They are related when one's Mom marries the other's Dad...who immediately dies.

I'm also 2 for 3 on Shudder Films with old dudes dropping dead in the beginning.

As the Story goes, the Prince is going to hold a Ball to find a wife.

Elvira loves him and the dead Dad gave them massive debt, so the Mom risks it all on archaic plastic surgery.

This is considered to be a Comedy?

The poor Elvira is now going through physical and mental hell to reach the beauty standards of the day.

Joy.

She manages to get close to her goal of meeting the Prince and possibly marrying him.

That said, will she lose herself in the process?

Will she give up everything to achieve beauty and to marry a guy she doesn't actually know?

Will her Stepsister win him instead?

How bleak will this get?

To find out, stream it now.

A Film that really speaks to what some people will do for beauty.

This is obviously not a new Topic, but definitely one more talked about with The Substance's release.  This is not really the same Film, but touches upon the same ideas.

As noted, this is a twist on a Fairy Tale you should all know and told from a new perspective.  In this regard, it totally works.

The traditional Ugly Stepsister is just a cruel young lady who gets what she deserves.
This one is a 'real' person who is twisted by her Mother and turned into something spiritually ugly.

To warn you, this one is FULL of Body Horror.  It's not the Cronenbergian kind where humans become bugs or grow extra limbs.
It is just full of real, horrific things that people used to/sometimes still do to themselves to achieve a certain ideal.

If you have a strong stomach and can accept the slower pacing, this is a true delight.

A Film that is at times bleak, at times strange and quite usually dark.  If you're into twisted Fairy Tales and Body Horror, your ship has arrived!

Oscar Rewind: Poor Things (2023)

 Emma Stone is up for another Oscar this Year.

What was her last Oscar Film?
Well, it was...

A poor young lady named Bella is...not quite right.

Her intelligence and motor skills are far behind what they should be and she's being observed by...

Willem Dafoe.

He's something of a Scientist himself in this one and he managed to bring her back to life after a traumatic brain injury.

There's more to it, but, why SPOIL it here?

Willem Dafoe is Tommy Wiseau.

A young Doctor studying under Dafoe is brought in to help study her progress.

They want to see how fast she recovers and can be reintegrated into society.

Meanwhile, she dreams of the outside world, living all of the life she knows inside his Estate.

In comes Mark Ruffalo to sweep her off of her off-balance feet.

He takes her away to show her the World, woo her and take part in some 'furious jumping.'

If you know, you know.

However, she learns faster than anyone could have predicted.

Eventually, the journey is more about learning who she is and what she wants than his aspirations.

To find out how this goes, stream it now.

A Film that defies explanation and expectations in all of the right ways.

Right off the bat, this Film is just too damn weird for many, many people.
Even by Yorgos Lanthimos standards, mind you!

Emma Stone is amazing in this, so it is easy to see all of the hype and award wins related to this.  She fully commits to this Piano-like character that slowly grows and changes.

At one point, she's breaking dishes for fun.  Later, she's arguing about the futility of life.

She's not the only great part here, from Dafoe's calmly-insane Doctor to Ramy Yousef's understated Doctor.  There's no weak link here.

Just so you know- there's lots of implied sex and actual nudity in this one, so don't watch this in the wrong kind of mixed company.

While I don't pretend to understand every weird choice made by Lanthimos and company here, I applaud it.

It's so weird...and so good.

A Film that is probably too strange for many of you out there.  If not, enjoy this bizarre, fairy-tale like journey that feels like Wes Anderson on acid.

Tubi Thursday: The Crazies (2010)

 We're covering the Remake first this time, since Tubi is going to drop it by next week.

Will this one set a bar to be topped by the Romero original?

Let's find out...

A small town in Iowa seems nice.

Everyone is happy and having a baseball game when a strange man wanders onto the field.

The Sheriff is forced to shoot him down.

Another crazy person shows up the next day, this one having burned down his House with his family in it.

In the Station, he stands oddly still and silent *the entire time*

A tip sends them out into the nearby Swamp (in Iowa?) and they find a plane crash.

Is this the source of what is going on?

That night, the Military show up and put everyone in a Camp.

Uh oh!

If they turn out to be Giant Rats again, I'm out!

They separate some people for testing, while locking the women up separately.

After chaos at the gate (where most of the people run away), they don't notice a Crazy wandering in to kill them all.

And yes, this guy is the one responsible for the branding of the pitchfork being dragged along the floor.

They eventually run across a Government stooge- played by famous 'That Guy' Actor Glenn Morshower- and find out the secret.

Can our Heroes survive?
To find out, stream it now (just hurry if you want to see it on Tubi).

A Film that is honestly pretty darn good, even if it never elaborates on much.

This one does a decent job of making a nice, normal-looking Town and then having it go into chaos.  I would have done maybe a bit more to establish it though.

Modern Film Producers surely insist on a big Scene like the Shooting to happen early, but maybe be a bit more patient.

The titular infected- again with that term! - aren't anything more than just slightly angrier people that want to kill you with whatever is nearby.

If you're expecting more, it isn't here.

There is also one Scene where 2 Crazies can speak and plan...which seems in contrast to all of the others.

The Crazies doesn't aim for much than a Character focused series of kills and jump scares & it does deliver.  
Is that enough of a ringing endorsement?

A Remake that has all of the modern touches you'd expect.  If you expect more than what the Title promises, you'll be disappointed.

Streaming Standard: Venom- Let There Be Carnage (2021)

 A Film that was locked behind the door of 'Only Streaming on Starz' until quite recently.

Well, let there be a review!

Cletus Kassady (last seen at the end of Venom) is a Serial Killer who agrees only to talk to Eddie Brock.

Our boy Eddie doesn't get much, but Venom spots a massive clue.

So, Eddie does the only natural thing...

He breaks the story and gets all of the glory.

This is all part of a larger Plot where Eddie wants Venom to not eat people, while the symbiote, well, does want to do that thing.

These boys need a Therapist!

Eventually, Kletus and Eddie end up in close proximity and the former bites the latter.

This leads to him getting his own mutated symbiote and breaking free right before he can be executed.

He has good, dramatic timing!

Cassidy is trying to get back to his lost love- a lady based on but not named Shriek.

Can love bloom between a lady who screams sonic blasts and a symbiote/man who can't stand sonic blasts?

Can Venom and Eddie come together (quite literally) to save the day?

Is the Non-Spider-Man Sony Spider-Man Universe in good hands?

To find out, stream it now (currently on Disney +).

A Film with big characters, big moments and a big issue with pacing.

The Film has some great visual effects, with Venom and Carnage both looking quite good.  Freaky, but good.

Tom Hardy really makes himself look vulnerable as both Eddie and Venom (the voice).  It is interesting to see in a Film like this.

The issue I have is the balance of setup to payoff here.

They spend so much time setting up Kassady, Shriek and then getting together that the Film suffers a bit.  

Carnage, despite being in the Title, takes too long to show up.  Shriek suffers as well.

The Plot is just way too convenient, with somehow Eddie, the Cop, Shriek and Carnage all being intertwined in the 17th Most Populated City in the United States!
Bonkers.

In spite of its flaws, the Film has some good moments, strong visuals and, well, I can finally stop looking for it.

A Film full of interesting ideas and execution.  It's just a shame that the Pacing is just so darn weird!

Shudder Day: Ash (2025)

 After a Film that seemed to change Genres as it reached its climax, why not a Film that is consistent.

It is still weird as hell, of course, and it is...

Riya wakes up on a Ship doing Deep Space Colonization.

She remembers her friends and fellow Astronauts...but where are they?!?

As she discovers bodies, she gets flashes of images...memories.

Can she be sure what is going on?

Things escalate when Brion (Aaron Paul) shows up.

He keeps trying to get information from her and she is barely able to remember anything.

They need to know why everyone else died!

She starts to remember more...and it's not great.

Her fellow crewmates being killed...after going crazy.

She learns how one of them died before and things got even worse.

Can she make sense of things?
Can she get the answers and survive?

Are you tired of the color red yet?

In the 3rd Act, the truth finally comes out.

I... obviously won't SPOIL that for you right now.

To find out the crazy, stream it now.

A weird Film that does require a bit of patience.

There's always an Audience for a certain kind of Film.  Finding it is the key aspect here.

In this case, you need to be a fan of Slow Burn Horror and Crazy Sci-Fi.  If you qualify, this is for you!

The Film builds and builds to a strange finale involving multiple fights, fire and elective surgery.  No context for you!

Ash has a nice, synth score and lots of moody lighting.  It always feels *off* and the whole package really works.

Once I just embraced the weirdness- remember that its Director did a strange segment in VHS 99-, I enjoyed this one quite a bit.

The Movie has a weird, Indy sort of feel, which is amplified by having- no offense- a less famous Cast than originally planned.

Ash is definitely for many of you.  Just don't judge it by the, you guessed, Fake AI Trailer Image.

Not even close, Skynet!

A Film that builds in tension, atmosphere and mood lighting.  Once it is all laid out, you get some crazy fun!

Almost Heroes: Doyle (28 Weeks Later)

 As a farewell (at least until The Bone Temple gets covered) to the 28 Series, let me honor a man who almost made it.

In 28 Weeks Later, the small British Colony is watched by a series of US Snipers.
Notably, we meet Doyle...

His name is 'D' for Danny and 'oyle' for Boyle.

Renner's Soldier turns out to be nicer than the rest, refusing to shoot at the crowd when ordered to.

Instead, he breaks ranks to help the survivors.

He manages to get the shrinking group out of the military compound and into the nearby City.

He gets them inside a car when the military releases dangerous gas (apparently trying everything).

However, they still have to escape.

As such, he helps push the car into gear, knowing that the military and their flamethrowers are nearby.
He gets the car to make an exit...but doesn't get out himself.

We salute you, Doyle.
You *almost* saved the day.

In his defense, the kids do make it out thanks to him...only to be ignored entirely in 28 Years Later.
Not your fault, buddy.