Remake This?: When a Stranger Calls (2006)

 A Film from the tale end of my Theater days.  I remember none of it.

When A Stranger Calls is the 2006 Remake of the 1979 Film that is famous for one line and its gimmick.
To call this one a Remake is a gray area though.  Let me explain...

The original Film's Intro Scene (around 20 minutes) is about the Babysitter and the famous call.  It pivots from there.

This Remake is JUST that part of the Film.

For comparison, imagine a Remake of Psycho- wait, don't hit me!- that was just the part where she steals the money, flees and is killed in the Shower.

That aside...aside is this a good Film.

It came from Simon West, the Director of Expendables 2, Con Air and the Rick Roll.
No, really.  He Directed that Video.

Is this mostly forgotten Remake a good one or trash?  To find out, read on...

As the Credits roll, we see a full of Fair/Carnival happening outside of a home.  I guess it's a Birthday Party.

We hear a concerned Mom and a scream.
Next we see Cops investigating and an older Detective reacts in shock to what he sees.

It's PG-13, so use your imagination.

We never see this Cop again.  Cool.

The Film really follows our Heroine- Push's Camilla Belle, who has some teen drama going on involving a bad friend- Arrow's Katie Cassidy- making out with her boyfriend.

She gets solace from her good friend- Thor: Ragnarok's Tessa Thompson.

Her boyfriend's apologies don't work, but there's a side effect.  She went WAY over her minutes and now has to pay her Parents back.

Can you tell that this is from 2006?

Her Dad- Agents of SHIELD's Clark Gregg- drives her out to the remote House that she's babysitting at.

We don't see him again until the finale.  Cool.

Said House is indeed remote and I'd say that it looks like it is CGI...if it looked that good for a Film like this in 2006.

The Parents- which include Poltergeist: The Legacy's Derek De Lint- leave, explaining that the kids are asleep upstairs and the Maid may be lurking about.

As noted, why hire a Babysitter if you have a Maid.

In any event, she starts getting weird phone calls...many of them.

She calls the Police, who agree to help her track the line.  Even so, they can't be out there in less than 20 minutes.

The calls keep coming and even the brief visit of Cassidy- who somehow got the address and entered through the open Garage Door and Gate- doesn't help.

Eventually, she gets him on the phone long enough.

As the next call rings, the Cop says the famous line.

She goes to find that the kids are alright- hiding in their rooms- and tries to escape with them.

During said escape, she finds Cassidy's body in the bathroom!

The Stranger finally appears and no longer talks.  He was so chatty- as Lance Henriksen- earlier.

She finds that the Maid is Dead.  Does she qualify as a Poor Bastard of Cinema without appearing until now?

After a tense Third Act, she wounds the man and runs to the Police.

In the aftermath, she wakes up in her Hospital Room and panics when the phone rings.  
She is grabbed by the Stranger...and wakes up screaming.

Yes, this was indeed a Tacked On Dream Sequence Finale.  Sigh.
The End.

A Film that's honestly pretty good, if not as engaging as they would hope.

This isn't a knock on the Actress, as one person can't truly make or break a Film.  She does her best with the role, which features many vacant stares, concerned glances and uncertain body language.

In the cut, they wisely chose to focus almost SOLELY on her for most of the Film.  Deleted Scenes- what little there are- show the other side of her conversations and, yeah, it's less engaging that way.

They need you to feel like her- isolated, in a big space with no exit and worried.

The trade-off is that some people- like Thompson in her Film Debut- only get the 2 Scenes (the second being a brief phone call later in the Film).

The Stranger as a concept is good.  He's certainly underdeveloped, of course, as he's just a menace that is a pure blank slate to create terror.
Henriksen literally phones in the role, but doesn't figuratively.  It's just a shame that he has so little to do here.

This one was clearly cut up quite a bit- the DVD Box shows a shot of the Cop talking to Belle which isn't in the Film- and it doesn't aspire to be more than a decent to good Film about a scared Babysitter.

Even so, points to whoever came up with this shot.

Next up, I might as well cover the Marvel Frankenstein Anime during this Season.  Will it be less bizarre?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: VHS Mixtape (2026)

 I have a very interesting relationship with this Series by now.  I like it more than I don't.

This is the 2026 edition known as...

The whole thing has a different kind of Framing Device this time.

It is bits by Gwar, which you'll either love or hate.
I don't mind the lack of narrative if the content is good.

In the first Segment, a Producer- Barbara Crampton- attempts to do a new version of a kid's puppet show with cult appeal.

What she doesn't know is that the Show had a worse finale than 'Gordy's Home' and it's not safe there now!

After a weird Claymation bit from Flying Lotus, the next proper Segment is about those folks who go out into the middle of nowhere to explore for content.

Their journey ends...poorly when they find a hidden lab.

In the next Segment, a pretty flimsy setup for found footage- a guy shooting a Daily Diary in his Apartment- occurs.

He hears a musician upstairs and, well, chaos ensues.

In the final Segment, a young lady tries to complete a track that her dead Dad was working on.

The Black Metal piece leads her to kill many poor souls in the search for pure, bleak metal goodness.

To find out how these go, stream the Film now.

A bizarre mishmash of styles, quality and all out insanity.

For starters, the Gwar Segments are as crazy as you'd imagine.  They might make or break things for you.
They have a certain...style.

As far as the Stories go, the first one was my favorite.  Evil 'Muppets' are so fun.

The 2nd Segment built up nicely, even if I wasn't quite a big fan of where it ultimately went.
The 3rd Segment is like a gonzo attempt to do a Lovecraft Story and just goes in a direction that nobody could have likely predicted.

The final Segment is creative and devious, possibly to a fault.

All in all, it's a mixed tape...er, bag for me on the actual content.
The overall package is fun with Gwar's often gross, always strange Interludes.

In lieu of a proper Theme, I'll happy take this Easter Egg...

Given the stark variety and so much Gwar, this one is likely to be divisive.  While it's not my favorite, I am glad that I checked it out.

Tubi Thursday: Dark Asylum (2001)

 While his last Film did not work for me, I do like Larry Drake as an Actor (RIP since 2016).

Let's give him another shot with 2001's...

A city is overrun with fear (in Voice Over and B-Roll of a City) as a mysterious killer is on the loose.

By luck, some Cops find his lair.
It goes poorly for the first one.

They catch him, but he's shot and taken to a Mental Hospital.

Um...wrong kind of Hospital, Film.

He's put in there (off camera) and in the care of Jurgen Prochnow.

My 2nd Film of his in a row (watched, but not reviewed).

He goes full Hannibal Lecter.

Our Heroine- Paulina Porzegova- is called in to work there, even as she's dealing with some personal things.

Do you care?
Nah.

Drake is a modern Serial Killer, so he's super smart, super strong and somehow reading the Script ahead of the other Characters.

He easily breaks free of his straitjacket and kills Prochnow.  Bye!

They lock down the place- since that works and nothing else does- and now he needs the key.

He takes out all of the Cops and Security- with ease- and now he has to get Paulina.

She gets helped by a patient- Judd Nelson- and must find a way out while avoiding Drake.

After escaping the Building and getting help, Drake somehow blows up the Cops who ran in and escapes via the Sewers.

He somehow finds Paulina's Grandmother's House (was the address in the records?) and kidnaps her Daughter.

Now only SHE can stop him...and she blows him up.
That seems to work this time.  The End.

A Film that has some real potential...and then just gets ridiculous.

Drake is, yet again, a super impossible to defeat guy.  He's also suddenly taller here, as his Character is billed at 6'7, while he was 6'2.
He can choke people to death with one hand and knock people around like bowling pins.

Of course, his backhand strikes to Paulina only stun her for a second, so consistency is not strong here.

If this was just a riff on Die Hard where a Psychologist and a Patient must play keep away from a Serial Killer, it could be good.  

Hell, it sounds like a good premise for a Survival Horror Game!

This is far from the only Film to pass off Serial Killers as some sort of Superhuman Being.  That said, this Film has nothing else going for it.

Paulina and Judd try.  Drake is fun when he's a talkative killer.

The Film is just not good and keeps going way past the point where it should have.
At least there's not an alternate Title and Poster that lies to you...

Is that an Alex Ross drawing?

A Film that is not truly terrible, as the setup is good and the Actors are too.  It's just too bad that it gets plain ridiculous and over-the-top.

Forgotten Toons: Marvel's Dracula- Sovereign of the Damned (1980)

 As Marvel under Disney tries to rebound with another billion-dollar Film, let's go back to their animated heyday.

Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned is the 1980 Anime adaptation of Marvel's Tomb of Dracula.  The Book ran for many years and has been viewed well in the Decades since.

In the 70s, Marvel licensed their stuff to Toei Animation.  This is how we got Japanese Spider-Man and Super Sentai.

The Plot is essentially a speed run of THE ENTIRE SERIES which had 70 issues over 7 years.  Alas, there is no Marvel connection in supporting Characters as Blade and Doctor Strange were cut.

Will this make sense in around 90 minutes?
To find out, read on...

My copy didn't have the cool Title...I think.

A Satanic Cult is making a big sacrifice to Lucifer Satan.
Yes, they say it like this every time.

Dracula shows up and they think that he's their Master.
He takes the lady with him.

Elsewhere, a young guy named Frank is confronted by an old dude in a wheelchair and a lady.

They hire him to hunt Dracula!

As it turns out, he's Dracula's Son...albeit one born while he was alive.
They don't get into the chronology of this at all.

The Cult plans revenge when they learn that Dracula tricked them.  Lucifer Satan tells him that he has a plan and to wait a year.

While the year progresses, the Hunters sort of close in and Dracula sires another child- Janus.

Issue 55

Weirdly, he picks that moment to reveal the truth to his Wife.
Yes, this didn't come up in a whole year.

He tells a long flashback where he was a strong protector of his land until he was killed.
He was brought back to life by Lucifer Satan as a Vampire!

The Hunters close in, but they are actually not the first person to confront Dracula.

The Cult Leader surrounds the Church with crosses and tries to shoot Dracula with silver bullets.

He turns into smoke and the baby is shot.
I mean...you turned into smoke in front of them- what did you expect?!?

Issue 59

Things take a very strange turn in the ensuing time.

Dracula hides away and the Wife mourns Janus.
She tries to commit suicide, but a literal Deus Ex Machina happens.

A heavenly light (God?) revives Janus...and turns him into a super-powered teenager.
He was the original Psi-Lord (aka Franklin Richards)

Issue 61

The new Janus has holy powers and scares away Dracula.

A different power confronts him, however, in the form of Lucifer Satan.

He literally Drags them To Hell and tries to kill Dracula, who is saved by his Wife's latent holy powers!
(In the Comics, it's a lady named Topaz)

Issue 64

While he's free, Dracula is a human once again!

He fails many times to get restored, including asking two different lady Vampires to turn him (back).

He gets oddly heroic as he flees to a House full of kids and fends off the undead with a cross.

Issue 69

He manages to regain his vampiric powers, but the Hunters (remember them?) are coming.

Harker makes them stay outside and he manages to impale Dracula with a silver spoke.
He blows them both up, as the Couple leave.

Back home, Janus returns to his Mother...and to his baby form.  The End.

Issue 70

What a strange, truncated series of events.

As mentioned, this is a loose adaptation of 70 issues of Tomb of Dracula.  With Blade and Dr. Strange excised (as well as Silver Surfer), they found room to trim things down.

As you saw, the character of Topaz was basically absorbed into Dracula's Wife, for example.

I was not *that* familiar with the Tomb of Dracula Books (being born 4 years after they ended didn't help matters), so I honestly thought that this one was just going off in a weird, Japanese direction.

Color me shocked to learn that all of this- Dracula's superhero kid, him fighting Lucifer Satan and all that- is 100% from the Books.  Maybe I need to support the Kickstarter to get the last Trade released.

The Animation here is dated in good and bad ways.  If you like the '70s style (think Lupin the 3rd or early Gundam), then you'll like this.
They do take some short cuts with repeat animation, some people just not moving and other such things.  It's not amazing, but it is crazy.

This one works if you don't know the Comics as a bizarre bit of History, with Japan making Anime out of Marvel Comics a few Decades before they tried again.

Now I'm doing this during October since it is Horror themed, but it is actually the wrong Holiday...

Next time, I switch back to physical media.  I'm sitting on a few Horror Remakes from the 2000s, so maybe I'll check one out.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Grave Encounters 2

A Film that makes me yearn for the joy of being in an *actual* Haunted Sanitarium.

To find out why this Sequel is so divisive, read on...

A guy named Alex is an Online Film Critic- a respectable profession- who starts to learn more about the Film 'Grave Encounters.'

Yes, like 'Blair Witch 2,' we're going with The Film was a Film within this World...but also real.
More on that later.

He starts to make his own Film, but feels that making a 'Torture Porn' Film is not his vision.

Instead, he gets obsessed with the mystery behind Grave Encounters.

They also confirm the 2003 timeline for the first Film, in case you were wondering.

He gets his buddies and would-be girlfriend to go to the same Hospital- with the Caretaker long dead via suicide- and find out the truth.

This is all because a mysterious source sent him clues to go there.
Wait- did 2016's Blair Witch take that Plot Point from this Film?!?

Well, I guess we can call it even for how much this truly is Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows.

They wander around the place and revisit the key locations, literally showing you the big moments from the last Film.

Just like that Film, they do, well, the same bits.

I wonder if she'll grow a giant, monster face and scream.

She does.

The Building plays the same tricks as before- somehow making Exits vanish and walls appear- and our Heroes do the same dumb thing.

They just find little tweaks.  So, for instance...

In the first Film, they fell asleep and the ghost broke their lights.
In this Film, they fall asleep and a ghost checks their camera footage.

They also find out that they aren't as alone in the place as they thought.

It only gets stranger, deeper in lore and, to be honest, dumber from here.

I won't SPOIL anymore for you while it is getting a second chance this Month on Shudder.
The End.

A Film that was clearly designed to outmatch the original Film in every way.

Unfortunately, that came at the cost of logic, good storytelling and any real tension.

This one- like many Sequels, Horror or otherwise- goes deeper into its lore and suffers for it.

It both explains a whole lot more and also raises many, MANY more questions than you had before.

If you're here for the ghost stuff, it is the same as last time, save for a few new (for this Series, anyways) tricks.
This one goes ALL IN on the Ghosts being walking Plot Devices too, so enjoy that...I guess.

If this could have avoided more cliches, I'd like it more.
Hell, if it could have at least tried a few actually new ideas in regard to its Third Act, I'd at least be more generous.

Instead, this one is a big, dumb mess that manages to be 'inspired' by more successful Found Footage Films like Rec/Quarantine.

A Film that goes 'Here's what you wanted- right?!?'  Sadly, it's not that and just so much worse all around.

Rare Flix: Curse of the Black Widow (1977)

What happens when you made Kolchak and Dark Shadows, but kept going?

This is Curse of the Black Widow, a 1977 TV Movie made by Dan Curtis.  Yes, that one.
The same year as Dead of Night, he was behind this Film.

The Plot involves a Private Investigator getting involved in a series of strange murders in the City.  Nobody is quite sure how they can explain the murders are taking place.

It all connects to a woman who then hires him and a possible family curse!

The Cast includes James Franciosa (from Tenebrae), Donna Mills, Patty Duke (as Patty Duke Astin), June Lockhart, Sid Caesar and Vic Morrow.  The latter are Special Guest Stars, which is still a Credit that I don't understand.
How do you Guest Star in a Film?!?

Anyhow, to find out what exactly this curse is, you might as well read on...

In the Opening, 3 guys are in a Bar when a woman walks in.
She picks the youngest guy to 'help her fix her car.'

When he turns her down (saying that he's going to meet someone), her eyes get all crazy and he's killed via a POV Monster!

One of the men in the Bar happens to be Franciosa, who works a Private Investigator.

He's questioned by the Lieutenant (Morrow), but nothing comes of this...yet.

The Story also follows a pair of Sisters- Mills and Duke- as well as their Aunt- Lockhart- and Niece.

There's definitely something going on with them.

The Cops- specifically Morrow- tell Franciosa to back off.

He's then hired by one of the Sisters, so that isn't going to happen.

Meanwhile, the other guy from the Bar is killed by the mystery woman after he tries to bring her to our Hero.

The other Cop- who looks like a Live Action Hank McCoy- springs what sounds like a crazy theory on our Hero.

The killings were done by a giant spider!  Not only that, but a woman is transforming into one to do them!

He doesn't believe it until the evidence- like a body full of spider venom and webbed up crime scenes- piles up!

He learns that the client and her Sister were both born in the wild- after a plane crash- and one was bitten by spiders.  That can apparently incite the titular Curse.

He's saved by this 'Indian'- played by Jeff Corey- who confirms the tale, but can't point out which Sister it is.

The Plot Twists begin to pile up in Act 3, so hang on!

The mysterious woman is one of the Sisters, who suffered a 'Split Personality,' and started the killings.

The Mom- thought dead in Italy- shows up and is then killed by the Sister.

She's scared, which causes her obvious Stunt Double (even in 360p) to dive out a window.

The Black Widow wraps up the good Sister, but kills the Aunt when she tries to help out.

Franciosa is told that only fire can kill the Spider.
It finally appears in the finale in full frame...and is mercifully not build on top of a Volkswagen!

He shoots it...for some reason and then uses the fire to kill it.

In the aftermath, him and the Sister are an item (shared trauma does that).

The Niece is then used as a Sequel Bait, as the final shot shows her to have the Black Widow mark!

Dun dun DUNNN!  

The End.

A fun Film that is very much of its time in the best and worst ways.

We get lots of shortcuts to not show the Spider.  I was expecting that.
Thankfully, this is a Dan Curtis Film, so his usual flair (and Soundtrack by Robert Cobert) make up for things.

The Plot is a bit convoluted, for sure.

I do wonder how this one has NOT ended up on Svengoolie by now.  He's run Dead of Night, both Kolchak Films and Trilogy of Terror.  Odd.

Given that it's a TV Movie from the '70s, I get that the modern audience for this one is pretty slim.  Even so, it's a good to great time and deserves more than just a VHS rip and being free on YouTube.

And yes, mine was a VHS Rip.  Don't believe me?

Next time, I'll take another Film from my Digital Library.  At long last, my love of Dracula and Marvel will finally intersect properly!  Stay tuned...