Re-Review: Jaws of Satan (aka King Cobra)

Back in 2016, I had a decent enough copy and was okay at writing these.
In 2026, I have an HD Copy and am hopefully a bit better at writing these.

As such, let's look back at Jaws of Satan, a 1981 Film that was a bit late on the big Film trends of the 1970s.

Killer Animals!
Films about Satan!

As the Meme goes, why not both?

The Plot involves Satan coming to a small Town as a snake to kill a Priest.  You'd think he'd be busy keeping the Public Domain Horror trend alive, but whatever!

Like many bad things, it comes to us from a guy named Bob. 
Mr. Claver was a Director for lots of forgotten TV Shows like Here Comes the Bride to respected stuff like The Bob Newhart Show to the cheesiest of 80s Shows like Small Wonder and BOTH Shows where the Lead is an Alien Teen (Out of This World and The Powers of Matthew Star).

Somewhere in the middle of all that, he made this Film.

Is it better than I remembered now that I can see Fritz Weaver's pores?  To find out, read on...

This still has the original Title.

On a train, a killer snake breaks free of a chest...somehow (it apparently pushes open the lid via magic) and kills the two people on board.

We immediately saw how you do these Scenes in the late '70s- you put a snake behind a plate of glass.

Note the guy's reflection.

This is a Jaws Film in a new skin (which it doesn't shed).

As such, we have the corrupt Mayor who will ignore the problems due to opening a Dog Track.

This guy's name would have been a funnier joke a few years back.

Nobody told me life was going to be this way.

At a Party, this Psychic lady warns the Priest (Weaving) about a danger facing him.

The snake is looming, since it is way scarier as an ominous shadow.

Said woman is killed off camera for dramatic effect as the Mayor tries to hide the bodies from study.

Maybe we should take it seriously now.

A Snake Expert (a la Hooper) arrives and he does help out, but can only do so much.

Weaver's Mon Signor warns him of some sort of family danger involving Druids (no, really) and Satan.

The snake chases him, only fleeing when he presents a cross.

A Meeting where they get the Town together to deal with the threat.

It's not an official piece of Jaws Bingo, but it is a key one.

In my previous Review, I joked about this random guy attacking the Lady Scientist was random filler, but...actually, it's not.

The snake scares him off and then we see the Mayor complaining about how 'he' failed.
Imagine if the Mayor in Jaws hired a hitman to kill Brody!

The Film is more famous for being the Film debut of Christina Applegate.

She plays the Mayor's Daughter (and her Mom is her Mom here) and eventually ends up being bitten (but survives).

The Dog Track Plot ends with her attack, by the way, and that's it.

It all ends with the Lady, the Expert and the Priest (this Fall on CBS) in a cave with the Satan Snake.

Weaving says his prayers and the snake is lit aflame!

I was expecting it to explode or something else to happen, but...no.

Let's just leave, shall we?
Okay.  The End.

It's fun in a silly way and it works because it is treated so seriously.

The Films is kind of a glorious mess.  It is about Satan.  It is about Snakes.  It is clearly just a re-skinned version of Jaws.

Credit where credit is due, the Actors do as good of a job with this as you possibly can.  This is absolutely a candidate for private riffing or a Rifftrax Feature.

I didn't even mention how they used every angle to imply that you would see the Lady naked, but you never do.  It's so sleazy and hilarious.

The snake looks good in still form, but they always use the glass plate trick (as they should).  That said, the thing also doesn't appear to have fangs at all, so...huh?

It's all very silly and I don't hate it.  The 4.0 score on IMDB seems a bit low, if you ask me.
That said, Mr. Claver only did one Feature Film, so...

This might be a recurring thing, so, for now at least, enjoy how well this Film scores...

It 'explodes into flames,' so does that count?

Next up, a random Film from my recent collecting of out of print Films.  Which one is next?  Stay tuned...

Forgotten TV: 'The Outer Limits' and the Neighbors from Hell!

 Another look at the lowest rated Episodes of this Classic 1990s Series.

This time, it is a far less Sci-Fi Tale and more of a weird, Dark Comedy.

In 'What Will the Neighbors Think?,' a woman named Mona is a severe hypochondriac.

She's also a 'lifer' in her Apartment Building, seemingly being born there (according to her narration) and living with her Husband.

While lurking in the basement, she gets shocked when she backs into an open wire!

After this, she starts to hear noise everywhere!

She soon learns to focus this and now can hear everyone's thoughts!

For some artistic reason, this is presented by them making big, angry faces into the camera.

Weird choice, Helen Shaver!

Mona tries to make things right by helping her Neighbors out in their crazy lives, but it doesn't work out.

This on top of the fact that some mysterious company is trying to buy the building.

So, Plan B, is make them all try to kill each other.

This works, but not before she gets tazed by her angry Neighbor 2 pictures above.

This seems to silence the voices and she is happy to see her Husband- who has been oddly absent for much of the action- again.

However, she suddenly hears the voices yet again- much louder!

Her Husband reveals that he's the man trying to buy up the Building and he wants her dead.
She dives out the window and gets 'peace.'

The End.

An Episode that, yeah, I can see why people don't like it.

This one is...yeah, I can see what they were going for.
There's a whole lot of people that love Dark Comedies- like Very Bad Things, Jawbreaker and Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead- and I have nothing against that.

This one maybe swings too far, making all of the Characters hard to like- especially not helped by the crazy, angry close-ups.

A key issue here is that this one doesn't feel like a hard Sci-Fi Story, only having the Mind Reading as a key Plot Point. 
Does this feel a bit out of place?  Kind of.
If you only watched this Episode, would you go 'Oh, this is The Outer Limits?'  Not so much.

In summary, I don't hate this one...but I don't know if I need to see it again.
It has some moments, but it is just too, well, in your face.

And yes, that is Bruce Harwood.

Next time, I jump back to Season 2 for the 4th lowest rated Episode.  With many notable names, why is this one viewed so poorly?  See you then...

Import/Export: The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (2009)

 Will this Finale deliver like it should?

This is The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, the 2009 Finale to the Dragon Tattoo/Millennium Trilogy.  It's been building up so many things, characters and setting up moments.

As crazy as it sounds, the original title of the Story was 'The Castle in the Air That Was Blown Up.'
I like the new Title better.

Events have left Lisbeth very injured and now in custody for her 'crimes.'  Granted- she did do some crimes, but not the ones they are trying her for.

As the Title implies, her actions are agitating a whole group of people who want her put away to cover their own tracks.

Will they succeed?  To find out, read on...

After being shot several times by her terrible Dad, Lisbeth is in the Hospital.

The Cops also know where she is now, stating that she'll face charges once she recovers.

The Dad- who she struck with an axe- is in the same Hospital, which seems like a big oversight.

He's connected to a group called The Section, who then send a man to get answers.
He tries to blackmail the group instead and it ends...poorly.

With him now dead and the assassin also dead (at his own hands), the group focuses in fully on Lisbeth.

They want her locked away again, which will make any evidence she might present against them moot.

Thankfully, they have the Doctor who abused her as a kid under State 'care' (and Kelsey Grammer's Swedish Twin) to help with just that.

Thankfully, she has help.

Michael is planning a big issue to expose the bad men and gets help from a special group of Police.

It's a good thing too, since his refusal to cancel the planned issue has led Section to send men to kill him (after a plan to frame him fails).

Elsewhere, Lisbeth's creepy half-Brother is hiding out, using money he stole from his former companions in the Biker Gang.
This will matter later.

While recovering, Lisbeth has been communicating with her allies like Michael and her Hacker buddy Plague.

The time has come for her Trial, so she dresses the part (and finally pays off the DVD's Cover).

Plague does well when he manages to hack into the evil Psychologist's Computer.  Not only does it reveal all of the communication between him and Section, but, well, he's worse than Gary Glitter.

That's all I can say here without running into content guidelines.

The whole case unravels- especially after the video of Lisbeth's assault is played- and the Police move in to arrest all of Section, as well as the Psychologist.

Lisbeth learns that she's inheriting her Father's land (and learning about her twin Sister- but only in the Book version) and suspects that this is where her Brother is hiding out.

She's correct and she manages to nail his feet to the floor (remember that he feels no pain)...and leave him for the Gang to take care of.

In the aftermath of all that, Michael has reunited with his lady at Millennium and gives Lisbeth the news about her Brother (likely knowing that she's already aware).

She thanks him for his help and...yeah, that's it.

Were you expecting romance?
The End.

A fitting, if oddly paced finale.

The Plot here is strong, so I really don't get the general gripes I've seen.  This one is all about finally revealing the people behind the Scenes.

They enact their schemes and our Heroes fight against them.

For me, the Film really picked up when the Trial started.  For better or worse, Lisbeth is fairly silent and stoic in the first half of the Film.

This is paid off well, in my opinion, when she finally speaks up at the Trial and defends herself.

This is the Film that finally makes Plague truly important to the Story.  Yea.

Michael gets a nice bit of build here, as he refuses to back down from the danger to do the right thing.
Lisbeth as well, finally showing some vulnerability.

The Ending makes sense, but will certainly be more sedate than American audiences might expect.

Now it is all settled...well, except for WWE's Gunther still being on the loose!

Next up, a chance to revisit a Film that I covered a Decade ago.  Will it bite me back this time?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: 'Tales From the Crypt' Meets The Terminator!

 As stated before, I wasn't allowed to/didn't get to watch the original Tales from the Crypt when it ran.

I'm weird enough as it is, so it was probably for the best.

With that in mind, I want to look at an Episode that is quite famous for the unique person who Directed it.

This is 'The Switch'...

A rich guy- William Hickey the OG Puppet Master- has so much, but he doesn't have the thing he really wants...

Kelly Preston.  I can't blame him, even if she wasn't exactly a good lady in the last thing I saw her in.

He wants her to love him for himself and not his money, so he never tells her about his wealth.

She can't marry him, however, because he looks old.

Desperate, Hickey tries a few logical options before just going to a Mad Scientist.

I'd say this is silly, but this is Los Angeles.  There have to be a few (besides Bruce Campbell) if all of those Shows about botched plastic surgery are a thing.

Hickey gets the young man's face and...I'm torn on which outdated reference to use here.

Does he look like Max Headroom?
Does he looks like someone from the Land of Confusion Music Video?
Does he look like the Fake Crispin Glover from Back to the Future II?

You decide!

She's happy with the new face, but his body is old.

He can fix that, even if it costs another $2 million!

He ends up spending all of his money to fully replace his body and goes to marry her, but she's gone!

He finally tracks her down and learns that she really wanted someone rich to take care of her.
The guy he (now fully) switched bodies with fits the bill, since he has all of Hickey's money!

The End.

A fun Episode with a moral, even if it is not the usual one you'd get.

I suppose you could argue that it is 'Be yourself,' but the whole thing hinges upon the lady you want being a 'gold digger.'
I guess they could have been happy- Anna Nicole Smith sure seemed to be for a while.

This is the only Episode to be based on an actual tale from the original Tales from the Crypt Comic Series.  The rest are from other EC Comics.

Turning the whole thing from a simple quest for youth into a quest for peak physical perfection is probably a big reason that its Director got involved.
You get some less recognized people Rick Rossovich and Roy Brocksmith here, as well as Hickey.  Don't forget that his Butler was Alfred on Birds of Prey- Ian Abercrombie.

Yes, he was also in Puppet Master III, so we have two Full Moon Actors here.

The whole thing has a pretty simple gimmick, but is memorable for the execution and, as noted, the man behind the Camera...

A fun Episode, even if the twist won't shock you all that much.  This one works on its own AND happens to be a historical oddity due to its Director.

Fiction vs. Fiction: The Shawshank Redemption

 Stephen King is practically a money factory when it comes to Hollywood.

As such, many many Books and Short Stories have been written for the Screen.

Let's take a look at how a 106-page novella into one of his most beloved adaptations.

***VS***

What's the Same?

The Plot is 100% the same here.
Two Prisoners form a bond, time passes and one of them makes a famous escape.

So...

What's Different?

This is a good example of how you take a Novella and tweak things to a more normal, Film narrative.

For starters, the Casting is a bit different.  Andy is short and wears glasses in the Story.  Red is Irish, so presumably a Ginger.

In the Film, Andy gets in with the main Guard to get the 'Sisters' off of his back (and to break theirs).  In the Book, he takes care of that himself and helps out the current Warden.

The Guards change out quite a bit in the Story, as Andy is imprisoned for 27 years.

He's only in it for 19 in the Film, but I'm not sure why they changed that.

There's also more than one Warden in the Book, which would make sense with the timespan here.  The Film makes it one Warden the whole time for maximum drama.
It is a logical change.

Andy's famous moment of protest with playing the record is NOT in the Book.  He's punished by the Warden just for wanting to get proof of his innocence.

On that note, the Warden has the guy who get Andy acquitted killed off, as opposed to getting them sent to a Minimum-Security Prison in the Book.

Speaking of death, Brooks (the old Librarian) just dies of old age in the Book (stating that they took everything from him), while he actually kills himself in the Film (as he's too used to Prison).

In the Book, Andy explains that he had a friend make a fake identity for him to invest his money in before he was sent to Prison.  Said friend is now dead, making Andy wait to figure out how to pull off the scheme.

In the Film, he uses money made in Prison to set it up.

Andy's escape plays out the same way, though he's got a Linda Ronstadt Poster in the Book.  The Warden retires in shame in the Book, but the Film has him commit suicide to avoid justice.

Lastly, Red complains about normal life and being around women for the first time in 4 Decades on the outside (complaining about being 'half hard all day'), while that part was wisely excised.
The Book is also more ambiguous about the duo meeting, which is what Frank Darabondt wanted too.

Thoughts

The Film makes many obvious changes, focusing the tale more on certain people and consolidating them into one or more people from a dozen.

I do like the original Story and its structure.  It features Red as the sole Narrator and leaves the blanks of Andy's life open until the end.

Either way, it is a good Story.  The Film has great people behind it- including Roger Deakins as Cinematographer- so it is hard to complain much.

Which Is Better?

The Film

Not a knock on the original Story at all, but with a tighter narrative and great production, it really delivers on the potential that the Story promises.

(FYI, I have 'Different Seasons,' so I can easily get at least 2 more King Comparisons out of it)

Tubi Thursday: Gothic (1986)

Oh boy- Ken Russell is back!

Is this a legendary Film for the right reasons...or the weird ones?

Welcome to the House of Lord Byron!

He's in exile from England for, well, lots of stuff.

He's joined by a number of people, including his sometimes girlfriend Claire, Lord Shelley, Mary Shelley and his Doctor/Writer Polidori.

It is a dark and stormy night...and they're taking, well, liquid opium.

They go a little bit crazy, especially after they read a ghost story.

In typical Russell style, it changes and gets tweaked by each reader.
Freaky stuff.

The night gets weirder as everyone gets a bit crazier and more intoxicated.

Nobody is in their right mind and the growing fear and paranoia is only making things worse.

There's also some personal drama going on between Shelley, Mary and the rest.

Things get weird.
Things get spooky.

How will this all work out?
Stream it now to find out.

This one is weird and sure has alot to say.
What that is?  Nobody can quite be sure.

There are some obvious Themes- mortality, insanity vs creativity- and some good Acting.  The positive and negative is that everyone plays this so loudly, crazily and wider than the mass of a gas giant!

Many good Actors- Gabriel Byrne, Julian Sands, Natasha Richardson, Timothy Spall- are here and they all play crazy quite well.

This Film is very chaotic and it will certainly not be for everyone.

This is a Ken Russell Film that will be beloved by his true fans and befuddling to casual fans.
If this is you, stick to other stuff.

A Film that is absolutely a must-see for Ken Russell fans.  For everyone else, give it half an hour and see how you feel.