Immediate Response: The Naked Gun (2025)

 As a fan of the original Trilogy (and Police Squad), there was lots to live up to here.

Did this (technically a) Sequel deliver?

The Good

* The Plot is a fun update of the formula and uses jokes in the style of the original Films.

* Neeson commits fully to the insanity of his Character and the silly jokes/bits they give him.

* Anderson is a good addition as the new Priscilla Presley, playing a new character with a hint of the previous Heroine.

* Her Jazz Number is almost worth the ticket price.

* The Film especially hits if you've seen enough of the post-Taken Films that Neeson did, since it satirizes the over-the-top bravado and action of them.

* A great 'Weird' Al Cameo.  No SPOILERS for when it happens.

* The Film has a few bits that are so prolonged and strange that I kind of want to see more of them.  I'm looking at you, Snowman!

The Bad

* The humor is so dumb and so silly that it may not work for you.

* They introduce the son of Nordberg (OJ's Character) and then he's never seen again.  Weird.

* The Plot oddly reminds me of a Spy Film involving a King and his Man.  Weird.

* The fact that they had to shoot Cody's Scene all from one angle to not show his stupid neck tattoo.  No offense, Cody.

All in all, the Film is really dumb, really fun and a good update for the Franchise.

Will we see more?

Tubi Thursday: Spellbinder (1988)

 A Film that proves that love truly is magical...but is it safe?

Let's find out...

A Lawyer (Steven Weber) is living alone and looking for love.

He wouldn't start an Airline with his Brother yet.

Anyone but Glenn Quagmire remember 'Wings?'

Him and his friend are leaving the Gym one night and see a man tormenting a woman (Kelly Preston).

They come to her aid and scare him off.

She goes home with him and performs a magic healing ritual on him...and falls asleep.

Witches- am I right?

Where does it go from here?

Love- naturally.

They both fall for each other, even as she is coy about her past.

Who cares?  It is love!

Of course, a strange guy is following him, before the guy from earlier kills him.

A woman confronts Weber and, when Preston is told about it, she flees.

He ends up talking to a Detective (Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa), learning about the dead guy and getting warned about a Cult.

He reunites with Preston and she reveals that the Cult is after her.

Why?
Well, she's worth more to them dead than alive.

Can she survive?  To find out, stream it now.

A Film that is pretty ambitious and mostly gets by on atmosphere.

If you really break it down, the Plot is pretty silly.

A Lawyer falls for a Witch and must fend off a Cult to save her.
That old chestnut.

What makes it work is the Acting, the Music and the Scenery.
It is silly, but they make it feel pretty real.
The credit really goes to Weber, Preston and Composer Basil Poledouris.

I won't SPOIL the Ending.  I will say that it was a little bit disappointing, but nothing to get all hot and bothered over...

A Film that holds up pretty well as a fun, self-contained Horror Story.  It's just a shame that it doesn't break any new ground.

'60s Fun: The Green Slime (1968)

 A Film that sounds like Satire, but is 100% real.

This is The Green Slime, a 1968 Sci-Fi Film from Toei with a cult reputation.  Does it live up to the sort of hype?

The Plot involves a mission to Space, a strange discovery and the only thing worse than having horse flies everywhere- aliens!

Are they silly or scary?

The titular substance is a key to the Plot.
There's also lots of really silly, seriously done melodrama.

A trio of Writers (and Tom Rowe) brought us this Film and they worked on such Films as The Wild, Wild Planet, The War of the Planets and War Between the Planets (which is not the same Film).

Is it just serious enough to work?
To find out, read on...

An Astronaut- played by a guy who really wants to be Roger Moore- is assigned on a life or death mission.

A planetoid is flying towards Earth and he's the man for the job.

He has to dock at and deploy from a Space Station (the 1960s equivalent of the ISS) in Earth Orbit.

As luck would have it, the guy running the Station is a guy he has a predisposed problem with (Richard Jaekel).

Drama!

He goes up with a crew- including Jaekel- to the planetoid and take samples.

Time is running out, but you should stop to pick up some slime samples!

They blow it up- which seems like a minor thing- and fly away.

Back on the Station, they decontaminate...but it doesn't catch the titular slime.

The slime grows into creatures that look a bit like Daleks (out of the armor), the Cyclops from Contamination and maybe even Shuma-Gorath.

They absorb electricity and can zap you to death with a touch!

The Base has to do with an outbreak of the Aliens, as they regenerate from a few drops of titular green liquid.

Time for a lockdown- boot up Zoom!

The Aliens are hard to wrangle, but they do their best.

They can get them to smaller areas of the Station, but it is not easy.

How bad is it?  They are using a Dutch Angle!

The Station is emptied out, save for a small contingent.

Not Roger Moore agrees to stay behind to launch it- now covered on the outside by tiny Aliens.

Jaekel helps out, but dies in the process, ending their beef.

The Station crashes into Earth's atmosphere and then abruptly explodes.

It is a sad, but also heroic ending.

A Film that is just serious enough to work for this kind of thing.

The Writers and Producers treat this whole thing as 100% serious.  That's the key thing.

This Plot has roving tentacle monsters that eat electricity.

This one is way too easy to make silly.
Because they act like this is a serious Film about serious things is why it works.

It is full of melodrama and serious faces.
I can't stay at mad you, silly Film.

How is this not on Svengoolie yet?  I blame licensing rights.  I need to wave my finger at whoever is keeping this off of MeTV.

Speaking of a finger, this one was co-written by Batman's true creator- Bill Finger!

Next up, I have to do a Birthday Review for the first time in a while.  Will this one make me hear voices?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Monster Island (2025)

 As it turns out, Monster Movies set in WWII aren't quite as uncommon as I thought.

Granted- 2 in 5 Years is not THAT many.

Regardless, here's a different one...

In this one, two Prisoners on a Japanese Ship escape before it is taken out via torpedos.

The men- an American and a Japanese man- are chained together and don't fully understand each other.

They manage to work together to break the chain connecting them together.

Now they just need to wait for rescue...

...which may not come soon enough.

This Island, you see, has a big, buff Gill Man (of sorts) living on it.

It is hungry.

They get some company on the Island...briefly as the Creature makes itself known.

As long as they stick together, they have a (slim as Pickens) chance to survive.

Too bad they both just got separated.

Uh oh.

To find out what happens, stream it now.

An enjoyable little Creature Feature- nothing more, nothing less.

This one has a simple selling point- Men vs. Monster.
Gotcha.

If you want more, you're out of luck.

This one does feature two strong Characters and (thankfully) not a bunch of annoying people.  Two strong Characters make you want them to succeed.

With a small Cast and a single Monster, this one can focus on what matters.  No filler.

This one is an enjoyable throwback Thriller with a cool Monster and people you want to survive.

Naturally, someone made a Fake AI Generated Image Trailer for it.

Killer Croc?

A Film that delivers exactly what it promises and not much else.  The Monster looks great- no question.

Streaming Standard: Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

 Any trip where I stay in a Motel requires me to watch a Movie.
I was only in one for a single night, but I still found time for this...

Ms. Moretz plays a woman who hops a ride during WWII out of New Zealand.

She has vague, but firm orders and a mysterious parcel that nobody is allowed to open.

The guys- save one- treat her like dirt, sticking her down in the rear gun canopy.

It's basically like sitting in a see-through canopy while you look DOWN at the Ocean.

They soon find out that she can hear them on the in-plane Radio.

One of them is Byron from VLDL.

She spots something, but they don't believe it.

She's a dame...a broad...a chick with a bad wing.

Even when she spots a Japanese Zero- and saves them- they still don't believe her.
Why?

Well, she just spotted a Gremlin, which is basically a giant bat/rat monster here.

Nobody believes in them, since The Twilight Zone didn't come out until 1959 (and the Episode you're thinking about is from 1963).

Can she convince them of the threat before it is too late?

What is the secret of what she's transporting?

Oh yeah and what exactly is the difference between a 'dame' and a 'broad?'

To find out the answer to 2 of the 3 questions, stream it now (on Netflix at time of writing).

A very enjoyable and fresh Film.  I'm happy to be surprised!

The Film isn't the most original Film in the World- obviously- but does a mix of things you don't see all that often.

How often do you get Period Horror Films- let alone ones that aren't set in the 1970s?

Early in the Film, they really deal with the Sexism of this Era, especially in a group that can be truly toxic in their masculinity.  It doesn't shy away from it.

Once it becomes more of an Action Film and Creature Feature, it keeps the same Themes.

Does it get a bit silly at times?  Yes.
Do I still love it?  Kind of, yeah.  If not more for it.

Shadow is a Film of two parts.  You may like one more than the other, but they were both interesting/fun to me.

Besides, any Film with animated foreshadowing is good in my book.

A Film that puts a new spin on a familiar- if forgotten- creature.  How much you like the Film will depend on how you feel about the transition about halfway through.

Tubi Thursday: Rabid (2019)

 Did I specifically watch the 1977 version of Rabid so that I could then talk about the 2019 Remake?

Duh.

Let's see how they compare...

Our Heroine- Laura Vandervoot- is supposedly an ugly duckling of a lady working for a Fashion Designer.

'Just give her reddish cheeks- she's hideous!'

After hearing some bad news- a guy she liked was asked by her friend to ask her out- she gets in an accident on her motorbike.

How bad is she?

Well, she looks a bit like Jennifer (from Jennifer- Masters of Horror and Comic).

The Soska Sisters and company made it pretty freaky, so I'll spare you from it.

She's horrified by her appearance and is given free medical care by a Doctor named after William S. Burroughs- a name you can trust.

For some reason, he's dressed like the Doctor from a DIFFERENT David Cronenberg Film.

***See the original for reference***

In a weird subversion of the Original Film, our Heroine starts attacking people and then doesn't remember it.

In the 1977 Film, she remembered, but the victims didn't.

She attacks some other people, while putting on a show of being normal.

Amongst her victims is...CM Punk.

Look in my eyes.  What do you see?
A guy about to be turned into a rage zom-bie!

She tries to keep working as she struggles with her body's changes and the spread of infection, as her victims attack others.

Can she balance work life balance with being a Typhoid Mary?

To find out, stream it now.

A Film that is pretty flawed, but is a good example of how you should do a Remake.

This is not a 1-to-1 Remake.  It would have been easy to do it.

We get key moments shown- like a Santa being shot by Cops- or TOLD to us having happened- we hear about the Subway Bite Attack.  
It is not a bad idea- mostly.

This version does do a better job of making the Heroine/Typhoid Mary into a real Character.  Chambers wasn't bad, but she was just going from place-to-place infecting people.  Her ending Arc was good, but that's about it.

Which one is better?
As a Film, I'd say that the Original is still better.
The Remake does many things right and different though and it is more than just a soulless copy.

At least I'm done with David Cronenberg Remakes, right?
Right?!?

A Film that is honestly a fair attempt at doing a new Version of a classic Film.  If you like it or not, they did try some things.

Rare Flix: Fatal Frames (1996)

 A Film about death that was sadly affected by it!

This is Fatal Frames, a 1996 Italian Film that attempts to be a (then) modern day Giallo.  Does it succeed?

The Plot involves a handsome photographer with a dark past who goes to Italy to Direct a Music Video.  It doesn't seem like its Director (Al Festa) was one himself, but IMDB is not always exact.

Two of his 4 Films as a Director do involve Musical Performers, so...maybe.

When a strange set of killings...that turn up no bodies happen upon his arrival, he's obviously a suspect.  How does this relate to other crimes?
Is he guilty?

To find out (and I can't discuss the Film without its bonkers Ending), read on...

In the long, drawn-out Credit Sequence, we see an old guy watching a Snuff Film!

When some kid (his Son...I guess) walks in, he makes the kid watch!

Enough of that now.

In the Present (of either 1993 or 1996), this guy (who I've seen a few times) is hired by his buddy to Direct a Music Video for an Italian Pop Star.

She's actually a real one, which makes me question all reality, since this is Fiction...but also she's using her real name and identity!

Two main things happen in the first Hour or so.

Random women around our Hero are killed in front of him, but then the bodies aren't found.  The Killer only leaves behind video tapes.

Stefania- the Pop Star- sings Songs for her Music Video.
Such lovely filler.

The Cops work the case and even bring in an outside man from the FBI- Donald Pleasence.

This Casting will be important later, so take notes.

He says that similar killings happened recently in the US, including that of our Hero's Wife!

In a weird bit, the Subtitle Track and the English Dub don't agree on key details.

This lady is stated to be a Hooker in the Audio, but the Subtitles say otherwise!

Our Hero is going a little bit crazy, not helped by the fact that he seems to be haunted by a ghost who calls him a murderer.

He thinks the killings might be connected a Painter, so he goes to his barely marked grave and is confronted by...Angus Scrimm?!?

He acts crazy for a minute and that's it.
(They later imply he's a Ghost...or something, by showing his face on a Painting)

So, here's where the Pleasence thing comes in.

He shot his Scenes in 1993 during the bulk of Production.  A funder of the Film suddenly dropped out and it took until 1995 to get the Film back on track.

By that point, Pleasence had died (right after filming Halloween 6).

To write him out, a Voice Double says that he's leaving to work on a case that popped back up.

In case you didn't get it, they literally PLAY THE HALLOWEEN THEME and a Body Double walks away from the Phone.

Note the Poster visible on the left side of the (non-fatal) Frame.

Back in the Plot, our Hero tries to solve the case, using the only clue they have- the Killer's silhouette caught in one video.

Sidenote: The Killer's Silhouette is a great name for a Mystery Film!

Can he go full Blow Out (Google it) and solve the case.

From here to the wrap up is SPOILERS, so skip if you want.

Ready?

*

*

*

He's confronted in the Studio by Stella and then...the previous Italian Victims (which includes Linea Quigley).

Huh?!?

Well, all of the Italian killings were fake- staged by the ladies and the Father of our Hero's dead Wife.

They knew that he was guilty (as they were all related to or dating the victims) and did ALL OF THIS to get him to confess.

I...I can't even be mad at a Plot Twist this ridiculous and silly!

The End.

A Film that is quite literally Style over Substance.

The Film is about a Music Video Director and is also shot with all of the bells and whistles.

It sure helps to distract from how generic the Plot, Setting and Killer are.

A masked killer who taunts Police with voice recordings- how innovative.

All of the Camera Tricks- Zooms, Tilts and Crane Shots- can only do so much.

The Film sure did appear to be cursed too, as the delay meant that Pleasence couldn't finish it.  He wasn't alone, as another Actor- Rossano Brazzi (of Final Justice fame)- died in 1994 during the pause!

Throw in the fact that the 'Inspector' (from The Beyond) died in 1997 and, well, yikes!

Is the Film notable outside of its weird historical notoriety?  Not so much.

I don't regret watching this insane and silly Film, even if it did drag quite a bit to get to 2 hours.  

Was this a better send-off for Pleasence than just dying immediately off-screen in Halloween 6?

You decide!

Next up, another Film that I only own digitally (and 100% legally).  Is this infamous 1960s Sci-Fi Film as dumb as promised?  Stay tuned...