Bail Bond: You Only Live Twice (1967)

 What happens when Connery returns for the last time?

This is You Only Live Twice, the 5th Bond Film and one that was marketed as the last with its Star.  Anyone with Google can tell you that this doesn't exactly happen, but I'll get there soon enough.

This time we got a break between Films, since the plan to shoot On Her Majesty's Secret Service next was cancelled due to an unseasonably warm winter, making the snowy mountains not ideal.

They just jumped ahead then and did the third Film in the Blofeld as the 2nd. 
Why not?

The Plot is very loosely based on the Book, keeping the Setting and Blofeld as the Villain, but changing almost everything else.

Is this a good, definitely real send-off for Connery?  To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond is enjoying the afterglow with a Chinese lady when she flips the Murphy Bed against the wall and guys pop in to shoot him.

Bond...dies in the Intro?

He died as he lived- in bed.

Of course, this is just a ploy.

They need to fake his death to send him to Japan to figure out what SPECTRE is up to.

They stole an American Astronaut.

So, now that he's famously dead, let's have Bond...hang out in public and attend a sporting event?!?

He sees a man about some exposition, as Bond has never been to Japan.

Charles Gray- of Rocky Horror fame- gives him some information and is then immediately killed.
Remember this face for later.

Bond tracks him down to a Japanese Corporate Office and a fight breaks out.

The henchman- High Chief Peter Maivia aka The Rock's Grandfather.

Epic.

Bond works with the head Japanese spy- Tiger Tanaka- and learns all about Japanese Culture...by way of 2 different Brits.

Some of this is accurate, but Shogun this is not.

Our mandatory Q Scene is here and he's onsite yet again in this one.

He gives Bond some fake cigarettes (that fire a single bullet) and this gyrocopter...which (like the jetpack) is real.

Also a real guy lost a leg flying this!

Lots of stuff happens, including Bond pretending to be a Businessman and escaping death a few times.

He has to get a new cover as *sigh* a Japanese man (with tea leaves rub on his skin and his 'hair' pressed down) as a Tourist.

He has amnesia and thinks this for real in the Book btw.

Bond eventually breaks into Blofeld's Volcano Lair and comes face to face with the man.
We finally see him...92 minutes into the Film.

His plan to trick the USSR and America into a War is foiled when Bond presses the self-destruct button on his fake Russian probe.
Why install that?

He flees as Tanaka breaks in with- no joke- some ninjas.

Bond fights Blofeld's Bodyguard and backdrops him into a pool full of piranha...that he didn't know were there.

He still has a quip ready anyways.

'Oh no- he's been eliminated from the Royal Rumble!'

Everyone- including Blofeld- escapes the exploding Volcano Lair.

Bond and his latest Girl are going to hook up in a life raft in the aftermath, but his Bosses interrupt that with a rising submarine.

The End.

A Film that feels like a unique Bond Film- in both good and bad ways.

This one doesn't have any traveling across the globe, unless you count Bond being transported to the Submarine. 
A singular location- mind you, it is all of Japan- is from the Book.

That said, so much was scrapped and rewritten from said Book, it is a surprise that this too was kept.

The Film is a fun one.  You get gadgets.  A big villain lair.  3 Bond Girls (2 made up for the Film).

Then again, you also get some long setups like Bond 'going undercover' as Japanese and getting legit married.  They show way more of the wedding than you would think too.

A big shock is how little we actually get to see of Blofeld.  In the Book, he dies before the end- a fate he won't get until we changed Bond Actors 3 more times!

Twice has some fun historical notes, like The Rock's Grandfather being in it or one of the Astronauts in the Intro being played by the same guy who would be in the lead in 2001: A Space Odyssey!

Oh, and its Screenwriter is far more famous for Children's Books...

Next up, we jump ahead 2 years and to a new Bond.  I hear this Lazenby fella is here for the long haul!  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Nomads (1986)

 Since I'm on a James Bond roll here, why not a Horror Film starring a different Bond Actor?

Works for me!

As a bonus, this is the Film that John McTiernan did that got him hired for Predator, so it is doubly relevant.

A Doctor- Leslie Ann-Dowd- is called in to help a patient who is brought in.

He's acting erratic and ranting in French.

He's...Pierce Brosnan?!?

He has some sort of attack and lunges at the Doctor...before dying.

She (and everyone else) is very confused by this.

She's told that the man's tox screen was clear- no drugs in his system.

The Doc soon thinks that she is on drugs, however, as she starts to see the man's memories in first person!

In the week leading up to this moment, he had moved to Los Angeles with his Wife.

He'd been traveling around the World studying cultures- especially nomadic ones.

When his Garage is vandalized, he follows the culprits- a ground of nomadic punk rockers in a van.

He becomes obsessed with them, trying to figure out if they're dangerous or just weirdos.

He's soon targeted by them, chased around until he goes inside an abandoned building.... only it is not abandoned.

A lone Nun lives inside and she's blind.

Blind Nun/Priest- Take a Shot!

The Nomads eventually meet up with our Heroine after she meets up with Brosnan's Wife.  They're still confused, but eventually sort out the truth.

The 'punk rockers' are nomadic spirits and they don't want attention.

They wreck the House's interior and the duo leave.
Our Lead warns the Wife not to look back, but she sees...that Brosnan is now one of them!

They go their separate ways.
The End.

Sometimes the spirits you see aren't what you expect them to be.

For better or worse, Nomads does things in a very different way.

The Plot plays out in flashbacks, but done in a more dynamic way.
Dowd really sells the effect this has on her.

Likewise, Brosnan really sells the paranoia here as he looks into the void...and it looks back.
You'll either love or hate his French accent.  I didn't think it was merdes.

Having the Nomads appears as Punk Rockers as opposed to Spirits is an interesting choice.  As a one-off thing, I'm fine with it.

This is much more of 'What is Going On' Horror Film than one full of real scares.  Well, unless you're scared of Ants...

A Film that seems to either hook people or lose them in the 2nd half.  Personally, I like having actual 'villains' and not just ghosts.

Bail Bond: Thunderball (1965)

 A Film that asks the question 'What the hell is a Thunderball?'

Thunderball is the 4th Bond Film in the Series.  Sean Connery is back yet again and he's got a new locale to enjoy.

Seriously though- I'm with Tom Jones here: what is a Thunderball?

The Plot involves some missiles, Bond seducing some ladies and the last time that people would bring missiles to Miami until True Lies.

Can Bond get away from his vacation to save the day?  Will that somehow be a big plot point in the Film?

To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond and an Agent attend the Funeral of a Spy.
He suspects that something is up.

So, in a hurry, he sneaks into the place, confronts the widow (who is actually the Spy) and fights him to the death.
He runs away from the guards to, no joke, a JET PACK that was set up on the edge of the patio and escapes to his car via jet pack.

And yes, that is the only use of said Jet Pack.
And yes, it was the bulk of the Film's Marketing.

Our 'dead' Spy was also the original 'Guy who shoots gun' in the Intro.

We see that SPECTRE is still very much a thing.

Blofeld- with a different Actor and voice dubber- has a numbered list of Agents in the field.
This includes a very timely reference to the Great British Train Robbery, which wasn't even fully solved at this point.

We also get the first of many bits lifted directly by Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Blofeld decides that his 2 American Agents didn't get enough money and kills one via a device on his chair.

SPECTRE is up to no good.

Meanwhile, Bond is...at a Health Spa.  It's from the Book.

Anyhow, he's clearly on to something as a masked man tries to kill him with...a stretching machine.

He's rescued by the masseuse and...yeah, there's that Connery 'charm that turns into creepy' I was waiting for.

'No' means 'Yes, but with protest?'

SPECTRE's plan involves spending TWO YEARS to get a guy to become his double and then take his place on a Training Flight...that is also transporting Nuclear Missiles.

Don't give Pete Hegseth any ideas, guys!

This double does his job well...and is immediately betrayed.

All of the 00 Agents are called in, but we only see 007.

Supposedly, someone pitched having all of them being Actors from recent Spy Shows that had come out in the wake of Bond's success.

That would have meant a Cameo from Peter Graves, Bill Cosby, David McCallum and others.
Someone then realized that this gag would cost them the Budget of a second Film and scrapped it.

There is a Lady in the group, so suck it, haters!

Bond happened to be at the Spa where the switch took place and follows that lead.

He meets up with the villain- Mr. Largo- and does this weird thing where they know he's a spy, he nearly gets caught and they then act like they don't.

It's confusing. 

Fortunately, Bond also befriends the Sister of the guy who was killed and replaced- named Domino (below)- and she helps him figure out that Largo is transporting the nukes to, well, Largo.

Actually Miami, but I wanted the pun.

It all leads to a big, vibrantly scored underwater battle choreographed by Ricou Browning aka the guy who played The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

His name might show up in a later Bond Review too, so keep an eye open.

It's the other thing this Film is famous for, so thankfully it delivers.

Bond takes the Sky Hook (4 Decades before Christopher Nolan used it) and we're out.

A fun Bond Film, if one with a bit odd pacing.

The Book apparently takes a roundabout way to get to the action and the Film is no exception.  The idea that Bond was sent to a Health Spa by M (Book) and that is the key to him figuring out the Plot.

The parts with Largo and Bond are fun.  This one has multiple Bond Girls- some good and some bad.  Some of them last a while.  Some of them don't.

The Jetpack is cool.  It is a real thing.  I think you can still get them- if you're insane and love heights.
The big Finale is great, complete with a great Soundtrack and a unique locale.

Kudos to Browning for making an Action Scene underwater with over 50 people work.  Nice.

Lastly, this Film is the first one to use the Actor playing Bond in the Intro with the gun barrel.  It only took 4 Films...

Next up, my Bond odyssey continues with Sean Connery's final Bond Film.  When in doubt, let's rehash an earlier Bond Film.  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: The Hand (1981)

 What happens when you lose a part of yourself?
What happens when you make a Film with a Script you hate so that you can fix up your House?

To find out the answer to both questions, read on...

Michael Caine is a Cartoonist named John Landsdale.  He makes a strip sort of like Prince Valiant, only people under 70 read it.

He's also not in a great relationship with his Wife when...

A freak car accident happens.

He has his right hand out and it strikes the back of a truck, severing it.

That's...some blood pressure.

He doesn't take it well, as they can't find his hand.

There is no way to reattach it.

Can he find a new life without his old job?
Does he like this one?

He gets a high end (for 1981) replacement for it.

If only 3-D Printers were around then, eh?

With a new hand, can he move on?

Well, not exactly.

He ends up teaching Art at a College, while his Wife and Daughter are away.

He finds a new, younger woman...because it is Michael Caine.  He does that.

He's 22 years her Senior.  He could drink when she was born.

In time, he tries to reconnect with his Wife around Christmas time.

Is it too late?

Can this happy couple work things out?

Oh and why is there a phantom hand killing people?

The answer is 'no' and 'there isn't one.'  Or is there?
The Movie is vague and I'm not super invested by this point.

The End.

A Film with a crazy premise...but it isn't quite what you'd expect.

I was thinking based on the premise that it was either about a killer hand or Caine's new false hand going on a rampage.

It's...not that.

Instead this is all about Caine slowly going kind of crazy and people putting up with him.  Is this just a Brian DePalma Film?

Oh, it's by...Oliver Stone?!?

Caine, to his credit, does a good job, in spite of only doing this for the money.
This feels quite a bit like Magic.

If you want a bonkers Film that embraces this setup, go with Body Parts or Idle Hands.

I sure can't think of another Film where I guy has to fight his disembodied hand...

A Film that is much more of a Psychological Thriller than it sounds.  I sure hope Mr. Caine's House turned out nice.

Fiction vs. Fiction: The Amityville Horror (1979)

 Long ago, I covered the original Amityville Horror Films.  Is that due for a Compendium too?

In any event, I stumbled upon the original Book (actually 2 copies, but I only need 1).
It is pretty famous, so why not check it out?

It is time for another face-off between the written and visual mediums...

***VS***

What's the Same?

Both the Film and Book tell the tale of the Lutz Family in 112 Ocean Ave.  They buy a House unaware of the recent murders...somehow.

Strange stuff starts to happen.  Flies appear.  George goes crazy.

In the End, they leave (and The Conjuring Series is somehow set up).

What's Different?

So if the Story Beats are the same, why bother with this?
Well, many MANY things were added or removed.

George goes crazy in the Book as he's always cold, confused by the dog's behavior and awoken at 3:15 am every morning.

In the Film, he's driven mad and compelled to try and kill his family!

This is not in the Book.  The Remake added him killing the Dog (which led to a lawsuit).

The Book has weird stuff like a ceramic lion somehow moving (when nobody is watching) and somehow attacking George (which he doesn't see).  
This is not in the Film.

The Babysitter Scene is only in the Film(s).

The Book implies that the House drove George to not shave, making him end up looking like Ronald DeFeo (who died in 2021).
The Film just has James Brolin with the beard from the get-go.  Probably easier for a Film.

Curiously, the Book calls the Priest as 'Father Mancuso.'  The Film calls him Father Delaney.
He's made sick and eventually made blind by the evil forces.
In the Book, he grows welts and feels sick all of the time.

In a random change, he always seems to be talking to Kathy and not George in the Film.  I guess it is because George is just going crazy.

The Book's finale has George speaking in tongues, Kathy floating and other weird stuff.  They leave.
An Epilogue says that people came in, felt sick...but otherwise saw nothing crazy.

Final Thoughts

The Book really tries to get you to relate to the Family.  It also features lots of little details like random drawings of the House Layout at key points.

The Film really lays it on thick with George being driven crazy and erratic.  It makes for a more interesting Film to have him be 'a villain,' whether he's in control or not.

The Book really pushes the idea that the Family must work together to survive.  The Film is about the House making George into 'a new Ronald.'

What is Better?

The Book.

While the Film has big moments, I think the focus change is a misstep.  Yep, I'm here telling you that a Classic Film that got 27 and 3/4 Sequels got it wrong.

Welcome to Film Blogging.

A Book that is full of third-hand accounts of fright and unprovable things.  That said, it builds up dread and makes you feel for the Family more than the Film(s).

Shudder-day: Dangerous Animals (2025)

 Let's go to the Land Down Under.

Is this Film good enough to redeem the former Captain Boomerang?

Let's find out...

Jai Courtney plays a guy named Tucker (or Tuck) is a guy you hire to people you 'swim' with sharks in a cage.

He's a modern day Captain Ron (will anyone under 40 get this joke), but...

He's also a Serial Killer.

He tortures ladies and then feeds them to sharks.

You're no chum of mine!

He kidnaps our Film's Heroine one night and takes him out to his boat.

Alongside another future victim, she waits and plans an escape.

He's going to feed the other lady to a shark and make her watch.

It will be her turn soon enough...

Can she find a way to escape from his boat?
Is he truly the 'apex predator' that he thinks of himself as?

Or will this guy rise to the occasion to save the day?

My money is on the sharks.
No offense.

To find out, stream it now....

An intense and visceral Film.

Kudos to Australia for raising the bar.  We in America tend to get lots of CGI Shark Movies via Syfy or, well, the one remaining Polonia Brother.

This one is a good mix of Genres as Courtney really nails the intense killer vibe.  He can be emotionless in the right moments and very angry in the other moments.

I won't SPOIL it, but he has as a great weakness that our Heroine exploits to save her life (for the time being).

The sharks work well here as an existential threat just waiting to be used.  They are like a loaded gun sitting on the edge of desk.
You know that they will be used...it's just a matter of when.

If you like the sort of Character Driven Thriller that this one gives you, take a look.  As for this Poster though.... I have questions...

A Film that mixes human killers and sharks- just not in a dumb, sci-fi way.  It's a breath of fresh air.