Shudder Day: Jack-O (1995)

 A Film starring two dead Actors has to be spooky, right?

This is Jack-O...

Our Film begins with an old guy telling the story of The Pumpkin Man to scare a child.

This was also the last bit they shot, so...yea?

The Story involves a flashback section in 1931 with a family locking an evil away.

To give the Film a minor credit, they use the same kid Actor for both, but give the new one glasses and relatively disguise this.

In the Present, a trio of folks wander around a field looking for graves...and then say not to disturb the graves.

Confused?  Me too.

The main guy still removes the cross at some point, setting the creature free.

The Film uses some really odd filler here to make things hard to follow.

They show a fake Horror Host Segment with Cameron Mitchell (which is reused footage from a 1990 Film) and then a fake Horror Film about a Witch.

It adds nothing.

At least the Film eventually takes place on Halloween Night and features Linea Quigley.

It also features almost all of Linea Quigley, who they show in a completely superfluous Shower Scene.

We then see her as the Mom's friend and doing nothing like this again, making it extra weird!

The bulk of the latter half of the Film involves the titular Pumpkin Man killing some random folks (but not Quigley).

It has to kill the kid, but fails when it is impaled on a cross.

Mercifully...The End.

A Film that isn't good...but can be enjoyable.

On its own technical merits, it is pretty damn bad.

Outside of the Jack-O suit (mostly mask), everything looks pretty cheap.  Not you, Ms. Quigley.
The Film just looks like it was shot at their actual Houses, which is at least partially true.

The Film drags at time and doesn't have too much fun gore to show you.

The fun comes from things just being so silly and inept when it comes to the Acting and Drama.  I try to be nicer to Kid Actors (since they are Kids), but the poor guy is just not very good.

If you want to watch a good Film, move on.  If you don't, then have fun with this silly bit of sour candy.

I took the last Night Train to Mundo Fine.

A fun Film for the reasons that they were not going for.  Tonally, it is just confusing and enjoyable.

Holiday Reading: Marvel's 'Sledge Hammer' Halloween Comic

 Let's see how niche we can make this.

A Marvel Comic.  It is based on an '80s Show that was never a huge hit.
Now let's combine these together and make it a Holiday Comic!

I bought this for $2 and you can now enjoy it too!

If you don't know the Plot of 'Sledge Hammer,' it is pretty simple.

The titular Hero is a Cop who is on edge to a comedic degree and uses a big, big gun.

In this Tale, he has to defend Satana...

You can trust him...

Not that one.

This Marvel Comic teases a team-up between the duo, but it is actually a lady PLAYING Satana, who is a Late Night Movie Host a la Elvira.

The last three were killed and she's next, targeted by...Not Freddy Krueger.

There's a different Fake Freddy that fought Dr. Strange in 1991

It's a crazy guy who is after her- the same one who got the others in different, non-trademark-infringing attire.

Sledge and his partner Dori spend the day protecting her from such threats as a rogue car and then take her out to the Woods to meet a Girl Scout Troop.

The crazy guy attacks again.

Random 'Inhumanoids' Easter Egg!

They work together to stop the killer.

They turn out to be Vincent Van Gore, the Host who was replaced by the original Satana.

It's all very Scooby-Doo, isn't it?

In the aftermath, he works in a META plug for Marvel Mini Comics and wraps up the adventure.

The whole Comic built up a stinky, damaged pumpkin gag and it all pays off here!

Insert Freeze Frame.
The End.

As always, it is interesting to find something new to Review.

I have done a Comic before, but only for a Film (and not also a Holiday).
Now I need to find a good Episode or two of Sledge Hammer to Review, don't I?

The Comic itself is fun, nailing the silly and self-referential tone of the Show.  It has fun with Comic Book Narrators and the little reference notes you see (i.e. 'To see this, Check out Captain Marvel #3- Stan').

Art-wise, they really nailed the look of the Characters.  The action is dynamic as well.

It's kind of a shame that there's a light bait and switch with the Satana stuff.  It makes me wonder how Spider-Man guest-starring in Issue #2 works out.

I'd love it if Sledge Hammer was officially a Marvel Character in the 616 Universe, but I can see why they wouldn't do it.

I had fun with this Comic, letting me relive a Show I haven't seen in ages.  I did also buy another Comic that could apply for this Month, so keep an eye out for that getting a potential Review soon.

I'll leave you with an Ad from the same Comic that really hit me in the feels...

A silly Comic that nails the tone of the Show in print.  It really nails the Comedy Horror vibe as well.

'70s Class: Tales from the Crypt (1972)

 After finally watching both of the Tales from the Crypt Films, I realized that I never properly reviewed the original Film.

This is 1972's Tales from the Crypt, the Film based on the Comics of the same name.  No wisecracking Cryptkeeper here!

Back in 2010, I watched the Film...and only reviewed the first Segment.  It was a Christmas segment.
Logically, I should have either reviewed the rest too OR done that in January.

Instead, we're here today to make up for it.

The Plot involves a group of people meeting a strange man in a Crypt and seeing their fates.

To see the Stars and Character Actors align, read on...

A group of strangers break away from a Tour and walk down a path- feeling compelled for some reason.

They meet a Druid there- played by Sir Ralph Richardson- and he compels them to stay.

He first tells Joan Collins how she died on Christmas.  *See the Review from 2010 for that*

The next tale is about Carl Maitland, who leaves late night for a 'work trip.'

He's actually leaving with his Secretary.

He wakes up from a nap in the back of the car with a scream, while the lady drives.

They get in a fiery crash and he wanders around, scaring everyone he meets.

He finally gets to his lady and she tells him that he died in the crash...2 years ago!

In a final turn, we learn that THIS was the dream he woke up from...and it happens again.

******

The next story involves James Elliot, who is a snob that hates the man across the Street.  He's an elderly Garbage Collector who owns his House.

As such, he systematically destroys his life by costing him his job, his pets...

...and the ability to be friendly to the neighborhood kids.  

As a final stroke, he writes him a series of cruel Valentine's Day Cards, leading the man to suicide.

One year later, he rises from you grave and kills Elliot, giving him an ironic valentine.

In the next tale, Ralph Jason is a cruel businessman who has just lost it all.

His wife discovers a wish-granting vase (as you do) and wishes for money.

This leads to him being killed in a car crash and her getting the life insurance.

Saddened, she wishes for him back like he was before the crash...only to learn that he died right before it of a heart attack.

She regretfully makes a third wish to bring him to life...forgetting that he was embalmed.  Now he can't die!

In the final tale, we see the penny-pinching Major William Rogers, who takes over as the Superintendent for a Blind Person Halfway House.

He quickly cuts the Budget for food and heating...but only for them.

His cruelty leads to the Residents turning on him, locking him and his dog away.

Days later, he's let out through a makeshift maze, only to be attacked by his dog- driven mad from starvation and separation- and dies!

In the aftermath, they all learn that Hell is their final fate!

The End.

******

A good to great collection of Tales, each with a super subtle set of morals.

Fun Fact- most of these Tales are not *actually* from the 'Tales from the Crypt' Comic.  The Producer received a trade of Tales by EC Comics and used that here.

Most of those were from 'Vault of Horror' (not the Film)

The tales are fairly low-key, which is what you're going to get from stuff from this Era.  Plus, Amicus could be pretty cheap sometimes.

Acting wise, it is quite strong.  You get some great names like Cushing, Collins, David Markham and Robin Elliot.

Each Tale works pretty well on their own and in the Anthology format.  They are all from one, so...yeah, that tracks.

I'll leave you with this shot of Oscar and Tony-nominated Actor Sir Ralph Richardson posing for a Metal Album Cover...

Next up, I finally cover a '90s Cult Classic from an Oscar-winning Director.  Time to finally unwrap that DVD!  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Stage Fright (1987)

 A whole bunch of big names for fans of Italian Horror united for this Film!

Michele Soavi.
George Eastman.
Joe D'amato.
Simon Boswell.

This is...

A local Theater is finishing up their preparation for a bizarre Stage Musical based on a fictional Character known as the Night Owl.

It's like if Dario Argento made Fame...off-Broadway.

The Plot hinges upon a pair of massive coincidences, so bear with me...

One of the Dancers hurt her ankle, so she sneaks out to a Hospital.

A Mental Hospital, that is.  
No, really.

While getting aid, a famous killer escapes and hides out in their car.

Back at the Studio, he kills the friend and sneaks in...

The Director (who puts the DICk in Director) fires the lady, but then keeps her around later.

The Police stake out the building when the body is found, while he locks everyone inside to practice!

The Show must go on...and is now about the real Killer!

Said Killer eventually kills and takes the place of Brett, the guy in the killer's outfit.

Brett is Giovanni Lombardo Radice, by the way, which either means lots to you...or nothing whatsoever.

The killer manages to take out the new Lead Actress under the guise of rehearsal, before being chased off.

He somehow knows the Building better than everyone and picks them off one at a time.

Meanwhile, two Cops sit outside uselessly.

The Cast is whittled down to- and this will shock you- a Final Girl and the Killer.

Can she survive?
Stream it to find out.

A fun, stylish Film that feels both very '80s and very Italian.

From me, that's a compliment btw.

As mentioned, the Plot hinges upon our stupid Leads going to a Mental Hospital for a sprained ankle.  That and the Cast watching him literally kill someone before they go '...wait a second.'

The kills are very creative and the gore is effective without being too over-the-top mostly.

I'd prefer to see it Subbed, but whatever.

It's such a weird, but simple premise and I kind of love it.  Given that this guy would go on to make The Church, I was happy to see how well this turned out.

It's not Soavi's greatest Film, but it is possibly the dawning of the age of...

A very strange and ridiculous Film in all of the right ways.  If you like '80s Italian Horror, check it out.

Ghost Tales: White Noise (2005)

 A Film that is apparently to blame for at least one random Horror Film coming out every January.

This is White Noise, a 2005 Film that surprised the Film Industry.
Is it because of the quality?  Well...no, not really.

The Film was a surprise hit- grossing its Budget multiple times over- in a dead zone (not that one) for Film releases.  January was for castoff Films and the required release of Oscar bait Films to be eligible.

Is there more to this one other than the reason that Films like The Boy, Cloverfield and The Bye-Bye Man came out in January?

The Plot involves a man who handles grief by looking into the mystery of ghosts.  Are they hiding in the static we see on a daily basis?  Can they communicate with us?

This was the big American Film for a British Director- who has mostly done Period Pieces and Procedurals since- and it hit big.

To find out if it is good, read on...

An Architect- Michael Keaton- gets some great news from his Wife- she's pregnant!

He has a kid with his ex-Wife, but now she will too.

That day, he sees her off to work and then waits for her at home that night.

...and waits...and waits...

She's gone long enough to be reported missing and Keaton understandably panics.

While in that state, he sees a guy parked near his House and then sees him the next day outside of his work.

The man tells him that his Wife has passed, but is trying to communicate with him from the other side.

He doesn't believe him, of course, and keeps looking.

Finally, the bad news comes in- she's dead, her body found floating in a river by a Factory.

In the ensuing Months, he shifts his focus from work to the study of White Noise, which is the idea that ghosts and spirits can be seen/recorded in static.

He works with the man from earlier- until his mysterious and sudden death- and another woman who studies this.

He sees a vision of a woman in the White Noise and goes to help her.

She's in a car wreck with a power line about to fall.

He manages to save the baby- at her request- but can't save her.

At the Funeral, he wants to work with the Husband, who very directly denies him.
'My wife believed in this,' he says (paraphrased), 'But I don't!'

Confusion arises as he learns that other recent deaths match names in the massive data log of White Noise recordings...and they also studied it.

The lady working with him is understandably confused when she sees a message from herself!

She's compelled to jump from a third floor balcony, but survives.

It soon becomes clear the Keaton keeps seeing a trio of shadowy figures, especially as he gets deeper.

He sees a message from his Wife too- she tells him to go!

He gets a vision in the White Noise of the same building where his Wife was found dead by.

As it turns out, a worker at the site (who he met earlier) was killing people- including his Wife- at the beckoning of the shadowy figures.

Keaton dies when he tries to stop them, but the SWAT Team saves the last would-be victim.

Days later, he can be heard in Radio Static by his Son.

The End.

A Film that tries to be two things and I'm not sure if it quite works.

The first half of the Film is a straight Drama with people talking about White Noise.  You can see it being about grief and how it is processed.

At a certain point, all of the stuff turns out to be true...so it isn't a metaphor.

It gets pretty by-the-numbers at this point and the Plot hinges upon a guy we met exactly once in a random Scene.

The idea of 'Guy studies thing to feel better, but then it gets dangerous' isn't a bad one.  It has worked many times.

I think the problem is that this works *too well* as one idea (with its bleak look and pace) that when it becomes a Horror Film it is almost disappointing.

So, when it changes from one to the other, you can't really enjoy/appreciate the first part anymore.  The new stuff isn't that great either, so...nobody wins here.

If you're asking me to recommend this one then, I'm...not exactly going to...

Next time, I want to make up for a past sin.  Back in the day, I only reviewed one part of a Horror Anthology...so let me do the rest now.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: V/H/S Halloween (2025)

 Another VHS Film by Shudder?
Why not?!?

This is the topical...

The Framing Device this time is a Tale called 'Diet Phantasma.'

Test Subjects are brought into a Room in increments to try a new Soda...which has a deadly aftertaste!

As always, we'll touch back in with that Story between Segments.

Next up is 'Coochie Coochie Coo.'

A pair of Trick or Treaters wreak some mild havoc before finding just the worst Mother living there that they could!

Next up is 'Ut Supra Sic Infra' (aka As Above So Below).  
No, not that one.

Paco Plaza brings us a two-tiered tale involving a Halloween Party gone wrong and the subsequent Police Investigation that doesn't go much better!

Following that is 'Fun Size.'

From the man behind 'Too Many Cooks' and 'Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell' comes a twisted and funny tale involving dumb adults and a potential new Horror Mascot.

Make it happen, Internet!

Switching gears dramatically, we have 'Kidprint.'

In a small, '80s Town, Kids are going missing and a guy is offering a service to give Parents up-to-date video records of their children (should they go missing).

Why does it go so wrong?!?

Our final Tale is 'Home Haunt.'

A Dad wants to make a Haunted House one final year with his Son...and learns the evil of old records.

One last bit of Soda and we're out!

A decent to good collection of Horror Shorts for you to partake of.

My issue right off the bat is the tonal disconnect between the Stories.
If that works for you, then take that comment in stride.

The other issue- which is also personal preference- is that some of the shorts- especially 'Kidprint'- lean into just showing gore to disturb you, rather than be interesting.

Other shorts like 'Coochie Coochie Coo' are disturbing for different reasons.

Only one tale really plays well with the Found Footage aspect, mixing with the narrative and how it plays out.  Naturally, it is the one by the guy who made 3 of the 4 Rec Films.

As is the requirement, here is my Ranking of the Tales from Best to Worst...

1) Fun Size
2) Ut Supra Sic Infra (the best at being scary)

3) Home Haunt (although these two could switch easily)
4) Diet Phantasma
5) Coochie Coochie Coo

6) Kidprint

Again- this is just personal preference.  If you don't agree, well, don't show up at my door like this please...

A weird mix of Tales, some that are just cruel (to be kind?) and some that are wacky.  It's a mixed bag of candy....I guess for this metaphor to work.