Friday, November 22, 2019

SPOILER Reviews: The Frozen (2012)

A Film with a big twist can really live or die by it.  This one is definitely the latter and, to get the joke out of the way, I won't let it go...
A woman discovers that she is pregnant right before a weekend away with her boyfriend.  Awkward.
Said weekend trip is to go hiking and Winter...alone...for the first time.
So yeah, that doesn't go well.

They end up crashing their snowmobile (somehow), which now strands them.
What's the deal with the weird guy who will watch, but not address them?
Things only get worse when the boyfriend goes missing and...there's another hour or this.

So yeah, enjoy her wandering around, being scared and waking up from dream sequences.  It all leads to the mother of all cliché twists...
Are you ready?
Last chance...

So they were dead the whole time.  They died in the crash (somehow).
He accepted it, apparently, and vanished, while she wandered around until meeting the Hunter.
Yeah, he's Death/The Grim Reaper.

Ugh.  The End.
That was long, slow and pointless.  Seriously, more than 2/3 of the Film didn't really matter.  What was even the point of this?  This kind of twist ending is arguably the most cliché, no?  The 'they were all dead' one is on par with 'this was all a dream/simulation/fantasy.'  It's a slight tweak of that, at best.  More importantly, it has been done by many, many other Films by this point.  Carnival of Souls is over 50 years old!  If that Movie was a person, it would be working its last job and planning to move down to Florida to be with the grandkids!  Yes, that Nicole Kidman Film also did that...over a Decade before this Film!  There's obviously a more recent Film that tried a version of this twist, but I'll cover that later.  So can I get past the ending?  No.  In spite of that, I'll say that the Film has a clear idea- showcase its Female Lead.  I like the idea, but...yeah, she can't carry this little of a Plot.  No offense to her, but I tuned out long before the finale.  Screen Legends can barely get away with this, so its not like it is an easy task.  The Film is marketed like it is going to be a Wolf Creek-style Film.  It isn't.  It could also be seen as a Survival Film.  Yeah, not really that either.  It's a bad Acting Exercise gone awry.  The Frozen is just not interesting and offers nothing new.  For another comparison, it's also a less interesting version of Soultaker.  Say what you will about that Film, but at least it won an Award.  Yes, this picture is real.
A good idea for a Movie turns into a bad one.  Why make such a cliché story after all of these years and add NOTHING to it?

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