'05 Flashback: Munich (2005)

 A Film that I last saw in five-minute segments back when I was a Theater Employee.

This is Munich, Steven Spielberg's 2005 Drama based on a Book.  Said Book is based on a true story...sort of...maybe. 
The people involved deny all of the details, but the Author also said that 'Of course they deny it.'

Good defense, champ.

The Plot involves a man leading a team to take out the men behind the 1972 Munich Olympic Kidnapping/Killing of Jewish Athletes.  As time goes on, is justice being served?

There's lots of issues with this one and it clearly was an issue at the time.  The DVD has a long intro from Spielberg himself explaining what the Film is about, what it isn't about and 'why are you so mad?'

Alright then.

To find out how this Film is somehow called one of the best Films of this Century and also never talked about, read on...

In the Opening, a bunch of strangers- the Palestinian Separatist group known as Black September- break into the Munich Olympics.

They kill and then kidnap some Athletes- specifically the Jewish one.

If the Film is so interested in realism, why not bother making the Stadium look remotely similar?

****

The whole Intro plays out in a mix of people watching TV, watching people react to the news and then being told that it went well.

I had a handful of people walk out early and demand refunds for this Film in my Theater.  This was the ONLY Film this happened (to me, at least).

We had Supercross the Movie and A Sound of Thunder.

Eric Bana is recruited by Geoffrey Rush to work for the Mossad, but also not really.  
He signs a contract saying that he doesn't work for them...which is a bit silly.

I didn't sign a contract with WWE to say that I still don't work there.

Bana and his team- which includes 'James Bond' and 'Steppenwolf'- begin to track the people behind the attacks.

They take out a guy in his home, shooting him 11 times- one for each Olympic victim.

Well, in the Book, they do.

In the Film, they just shoot him a bunch of times.

The dead guy rolls over off-camera, I guess, as he's found face up.

They get all of their intel from this French guy, because reasons.

Can you tell that he's French from this shot?

He was the villain in 'Quantum of Solace' too

They take out another bad guy with a small bomb, in the Scene this Film is most known for.

Less well known is how they take out ANOTHER guy with a bomb.

Bana takes the room next door to properly signal the detonation, which proves to be a bad idea.

Before another attack- a large strike on a compound-, the group is joined by a bunch of other Mossad Agents.

Did we forget how they are supposed to not work for Mossad?

Anyhow, it is important that we know that this one guy is a future Israeli PM...I guess.

Tensions grow between the group as a hit or two goes wrong and/or is interrupted.

Can they trust each other?

Things get worse when three members of the team are killed and a final mission to take out the Black September ringleader fails.

Bana goes home and is now struggling with all of the killing he just did.
Can he find peace?
Well, it's not clear if this Story is remotely true, so...who knows?

The End.

The strikes actually stopped after a real incident, not this.

A Film whose greatest strength is arguably its greatest weakness.

Look- I'm not here to tell you whether or not Steven Spielberg is a good Director or not.  If you haven't decided by now, I won't sway you.

The problem I have with this Movie is that everything is so murky and uncertain.  They keep talking about doubt and suspicion.  They keep shooting the Film in ways that are hard to like, the harsh lighting being a key example.

If this makes you look realistic, then it makes you look realistically bad.

Speaking of bad, the Pacing isn't great.  The Intro definitely meanders and they splice in the full events of the Munich Incident (covered here in 1976) throughout the Film.

Our Hero- who wasn't there- has flashbacks to how it all happened- the last of which happens while he's having sex with his wife.

O-kay then.

Munich is a Film that has lots to say...about one single aspect of a tale that involves dozens of alliances, turns and hundreds of years of History.

Watch for how good Eric Bana is, but you won't get any real answers about the (sadly still ongoing) issues.

Here's a screen grab gimmick I never expected to bring back in a Spielberg Film...

Next up, a Film about Vampires, Werewolves and leather.  Is this Sequel from my Theater days still enjoyable?  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Elves (2018)

 Oh joy, a Film that is even LESS about Elves than the 1980s Horror Film also called Elves.

This one is less disturbing for its Plot, but does have its moments...

In the Cold Open, a couple of kids seem to be corrupted by some Elf Dolls.
Is this how the last Film worked?  No.

The one left convinces his brother (I guess) to climb into the oven and he turns it on...only he clearly doesn't.

They couldn't put fake lights on the stove?!?

As noted, this is technically a Sequel to The Elf.  I covered that in 2023.

Instead of being about people killed off one-by-one thanks to a doll, this one is about people writing down their bad deeds on a 'Naughty List' as some sort of Party Game.

I'd stick with Exploding Kittens.

This plays out by one of the Elf Dolls (there are basically 2 and they never act like the Cover Photo) being near you and someone's face being morphed into Elf-like faces.

It is a genuinely creepy and good effect, to be fair.

So, naturally, this Christmas update of The Happening Meets The Boy can't just feature this.

Between attempts at lore establishment, we get a guy killed by Christmas lights and now folks in...Krampus masks?

No, I'm not counting this for my Krampus list!

To see if this all ties together, stream this Film now.

How do you make me bored with tiny, creepy little killers?

Oh right- YOU DON'T HAVE ANY.

Yes, technically, one lady throws an Elf at a guy and they imply that it bites his face.
That's it though.

The Film is so disappointing because it is just so pedestrian.  Outside of the morphing effect, they just drag every Scene out to hit their preset time limit.

If you can't be a Film worth seeing at 90 minutes, just be a Short Film!

Outside of a few key moments, the Film is just kind of dull and unfocused.  Was this someone's Sizzle Reel turned into a 'Film?'

Regardless, it doesn't exactly bring the Christmas cheer for all you weirdos like me.

A Film that has a good effect...and not much else.  It is padded to hell and just can't decide on what it should be about.

2025 Catch-Up: The Electric State (2025)

 As the Year approaches its end, I need to catch up on some of the Movies that I've missed for various reasons.

Let's start with the latest from the Russo Brothers and a Film that cost over $300 million!

It is...

Here comes the Exposition Dump.  Are you ready?

In this alternate version of the 1990s, we had robots.  This didn't go as well as the '80s made it seem like it would be though.

They revolted and a Jeff Bezos-wannabe ended it with new technology.

Now it is 1994 and Millie here is reunited with her dead brother in the form of a robot.

I didn't even mention the deep fake Bill Clinton.

She leaves her home with it/him and runs across Chris Pratt as...well, Chris Pratt.

Well, he's a mix of himself and Han Solo.

They have to go into the Wasteland where the robots were exiled into after the War.

The villain- Stanley Tucci- sends The Marshall- Giancarlo Esposito- to get them back, since the kid's brain apparently powers his network.

In a fantasy World, this is a Screen Cap from an X-Men Film.

One of the few times you see the real Giancarlo.

The Wasteland is full of half-broken and crazy robots.

There are some good ones too, but do they good ones outweigh the crazy ones?

In a sentence I never expected to write, Robot Mr. Peanut helps lead the revolt against the corrupt CEO.

There's also Brian Cox as a Baseball Robot and more.

This is not Satire.

To see how it plays out, stream it now.

A Film that looks gorgeous, but is there anything underneath the surface?

The Film is what I like to call Cinematic Gumbo.
It is a mix of ideas, concepts and straight-up visuals from various Films, Shows and Games.

You get Robots out of the Fallout Series.  You get the entire Plot of Surrogates is stuck into here.  You get the nostalgia mining from Ready Player One.  Alan Silvestri tosses in a few parts into the Score that is right out of the Avengers Films.

Hell, Stanley Tucci is literally just his Character from Transformers: Age of Extinction!

This one is alright.  I just wish that its satirical elements were treated as such.

Instead, we get everything playing straight and it just feels so soulless.

Why did you do this one so dirty?

An AI image for this one is fitting.

A Film that looks really, really good.  Maybe put that much love and affection into the Writing next time.

Shudder Day: The White Reindeer (1952)

 While Shudder has some Holiday Horror to check out, it is a bit early.

Instead, let me check out a Film that is still set in Winter and might be a hidden gem.

This is...

In the Intro, a Choir (a la The Greek Chorus) tell us of a woman who was a Witch and died, but only after giving birth to a daughter.

She would share her curse.

That girl is now Pirita.

She finds love in Lapland amongst her people (the Sami) and marries a fellow Reindeer Hunter.

See- this is festive as hell, right?

While they are married, he must leave for a long season to follow the group of Reindeer across the vast, snowy countryside.

She gets lonely and desperate, going to a Shaman.

If she sacrifices something (a young reindeer) to the Stone God, she will get her wish.

Unfortunately, like most wishes, there is a big downside.

She is made irresistible to all of the Reindeer Hunters...because she is unwillingly transformed into the titular White Reindeer.

One of them hunts her, but she turns human again and kills him (off-camera).

Later, another tries to shoot her, but his gun blows up in his face.

At first, she doesn't seem to be aware of these transformations.

When she does realize it, she tries to stop them before her Husband goes to hunt her down, lest he die too.

Will she succeed?
To find out, stream it now.

A fun, if dense, tale of Folk Horror.

I'm born and raised in a State that hasn't seen snow in my lifetime.  As such, it is a bit fun to see Movies that are full of nothing but snow.

This one appears to be rooted deeply in local folklore and it gives it a nice charm.

In many ways, this one is ahead of American Films of this era.  A female Horror Character was rarely allowed to kill anyone, let alone men (see Dracula's Daughter).

This one also feels quite similar in its tone to The Wolf Man, a Film so good it is still acting as my mouse pad.

No, it is not like She-Wolf of London- that one didn't actually have a transforming lady.

If you're in the mood for something different and want to see legit Folk Horror, give this one time to simmer and it might just sell you on its beauty.

An engaging and legit Folk Horror Film from the past.  While it is creaky at times and bloodless, it is still quite good.

Tubi Thursday: Krampus- The Return (2024)

 As Krampus Nacht is nigh, I have to cover another one of these.

This one is a recent one too, so it must be good...right?

A guy calls his Sister wanting her to come back and help him deal with Krampus.

The titular creature shows up and kills him.

She goes to his House in the aftermath.

The killer creature makes sure to...kill a random businessman and a prostitute?

He was in the House at the beginning...but alright.

He also kills a Gardener.  Cool?

He briefly appears to talk to our Heroine and then vanishes.

That...was something.

With about 20 minutes left in the Film, we finally get Krampus in the House with them.

We got to this amount of runtime by adding some random drama that I won't bore you with.

Given that our leftmost victim looks like the least fortunate victim from In A Violent Nature, I don't like her odds.

To find out what happens, check out this Promo Image for the Film that has since been deleted from Facebook...I mean, the Movie.

No, I didn't make this.

The Poster cliche continues!

A Film that I was momentarily thinking could be good.

Sadly, it quickly turns into the usual Direct-to-Streaming Horror Film that seems to pop up 3x a month from Britain.  They have fields, latex and plenty of free time, I guess.

Is this better than those Leprechaun Films?  Not really.

The Krampus mask looks cool- I like the horns.  I just wish they had an actual full outfit for him.

If the mouth actually moved, that would have been nice too.

The Film's opening narration talks about how the German Villages fought an army of Krampus beings (or Krampi).  They don't show this, so screw you.

This is super generic and even the kills aren't interesting.  No amount of 3rd Act Twist can save this- sorry.

Just imagine a more interesting Film- in AI Slop form.

A Film that starts out strong...and quickly loses steam.  If they put the effort into the rest of the Film, this might not have sucked.

Bail Bond: Diamonds are Forever (1971)

 Lazenby is out.  Connery is in... again.

This is Diamonds are Forever, the 1971 Feature that serves as Connery's send-off.  For real this time- honest!

He's certainly not going to come back in a random Film in the '80s.  No, sir!

With Connery back (after Burt Reynolds and Adam West turned it down), the Plot continues off of the last Film- continuing to screw up the Book Continuity.
What kind of dork reads Books that became Movies though?

A mysterious billionaire is doing something strange involving diamonds, so Bond must go to America to deal with it.  What happens in Vegas, does not stay in Vegas this time!

Can Bond save the day in the US of A?  Will this be a fitting send off for the original Bond (or 2nd if you're a real nerd)?

To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, Bond beats up/kills some folks to get to Blofeld.  Remember that he killed his Wife in the last Film.

This time, Blofeld is Charles Gray (last seen as someone else in Connery's previous Bond Film), no longer bald and not paralyzed.

Bond kills him and returns to base.

He was also killed in that Film, so his track record is terrible!

He's briefed by M about an issue across the Ocean involving diamonds.

Many are going missing and some chicanery is afoot.

Off to Holland, Bond!

Meanwhile, a pair of hitmen named Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint are killing those that could tie up the loose ends, from a Dentist to a dealer.

Famously the Effects Budget was cut to make up for Connery's $1.25 million fee.
Can you tell?

He has to work undercover as a Diamond Trafficker and ends up aligned with Tiffany.

She's hesitant, but persuaded to help when the other Bond Girl (Plenty O'Toole) is killed when mistaken for her.

Also, Bond slaps her with a glove, because Connery.

They track the diamonds and the whole operation to a mysterious Mr. Whyte, an enigmatic billionaire that nobody ever sees (clearly based on Howard Hughes).

Bond learns that it involves lasers, but then has to escape the building in a Moon Buggy...on their fake Moon Landing Set.

Trolling Flat Earthers back in 1971.

Since we are in the '70s, we get some more Car Chases.

Specifically, this one edges *just* into silly territory when Bond turns the car on its side wheels to escape down an alley (and somehow reverses it too!).

Apparently, the Director (who was British) hated American Cars, so enjoyed smashing them here.

Bond breaks into Whyte's Building and learns the truth.

Blofeld is actually alive- Bond killed one of his doubles.
He's been impersonating Whyte as part of his big plan and has one double left.

He's launched over a Satellite with his new laser on it.  He's going to hold the World ransom.

The only way to stop him- switch the tape that apparently programs the targeting.

No, really.

There's a whole big fight and Bond crashes Blofeld (or his double?) into the base to destroy it.

In the Epilogue, he's on a cruise back with Tiffany when Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd try to kill him.
He douses one in fire (who is now wearing gloves) and kills the other with his own bomb.

The End.

A fun Film, but it is not clear if this is trying to be somewhat satirical or not.

The Plot- a massive rewrite from the actual Book by Tom Mankiewicz- is kind of very silly.  Blofeld steals diamonds to make a laser for his satellite.

If you are younger and saw Austin Powers Films without seeing these, you'd feel like things fit right in.
There's even a guy doing the Launch Countdown a la the 2nd AP Film.

That's not to say it is a bad Plot- just kind of silly.
I'm just not clear if the Filmmakers are leaning into that or it is pure coincidence.
Then again, it features Bambi and Thumper...so maybe.

There's still plenty of action and one-liners.  Connery isn't the most vibrant here, but he also said that he spent every waking hour NOT Filming in the Casinos, so he might have just been hired.

In many ways, this was intentionally a callback to Goldfinger (with Shirley Bassey doing the Theme and the US Setting) and it nearly feature Gert Frobe back as Auric's twin!

For better or worse, this is a shallower Bond Film, but good fun.  Isn't that right, Sid Haig?

Next up, I'm going to take a Bond break until 2026 when we get to my favorite Bond.  Until then, let me check out some Films from my past as a Theater Employee in 2005-6.  Stay tuned...