Shudder Day: 'Tales from the Crypt' - 'Only Sin Deep'

 Let me continue to cover this Anthology Show with more from Season 1.

In the 4th Episode, a woman is obsessed with her own beauty.
This won't end well.

Sylvia Vane (Lea Thompson) is a Hooker who is obsessed with herself.

She also wants to be rich.

And yes, her last name is Vane.
She's either in a Horror Show or a future Batman Villain.

She kills a Pimp who offends her and tries to get a way out by pawning his jewelry.

Desperate, she agrees to trade her beauty to the Pawn Shop Owner.
She must pay him back in 4 months.

With this money, she glams herself up and goes to meet a man at a fancy party.

The man- Brett Cullen- falls for her and everything is great.

She has everything she's ever wanted.

What could go wrong?

Her beauty starts to fade and she has no idea why.

She finally figures out why and pays the guy back...too late.

She needs more money, so she robs the guy she was with for all of this time.

He comes home and she kills him.

She tries to buy her beauty back, only to learn that if she gets it, she'll be convicted for murder and be executed.

What a choice.  The End.

A pretty simple tale of vanity, greed and anger.

These are never complex tales.  There's almost always a simple moral and ironic twist or two.

What matters is how they do it.

This one works thanks to Leia Thompson fully committing to the role.  She's willing to play against type and the Episode benefits from that.

Howard Deutch was the Director and is actually married to Thompson (they married the same Year that this Episode was made).  He gets a good performance out of her and the rest of the Cast.

The makeup work sells things without being too over the top.  Good stuff.

A good production and there is worse make-up work when it comes to stuff with Lea Thompson in it...

Next time, one of the most reliable Character Actors of all time is here.  This tale of obsession will also not end well.  See you then...

Forgotten TV: 'The Outer Limits' Presents a Season 1 Clipshow!

 We are now at the 5th lowest rated Episode of this Series.

Is it bad?

Well, in case you didn't read the Title, this one...

...is a glorified Clip Show.
We are just at the end of SEASON ONE, people!

The Framing Device is this guy getting a meeting to talk about the dangerous threat of aliens...

...to some sort of select Government Committee.  
What's their name?  What do they do?

Never explained.

Regardless, our guy has connections and he's going to tell them all about recent events like...

That's a young Lochlyn Munro on the left btw.

The first Episode- Sandkings- and how they might actually still be around.

This is all just a theory of his, mind you.

He sets up clips from other Episodes so far this Season.

We get the 'sexy' Episode with Alyssa Milano taken over by an alien spore.
They brought to prop, so...yea?

We get what was literally the previous Episode- Birthright- about a guy who's actually an alien and he didn't know it.

Plus this Episode about a House that absorbs/eats people.

It apparently has an even younger than last time(s) Ryan Reynolds in it, as shown by his weird CGI outline here.

There's also Clips from 'The Voyage Home,' which was also in the previous Clip Show Episode I covered.

As part of the rebuttal to his testimony, one of the Committee tees up clips from 'Corner of the Eye,' which is then explained as being Aliens too.

After presenting his case, the Committee says that they will not file his report.  The guy flips and grabs a gun to shoot (and kill) the head of the Committee.

He's convinced that he was an alien.  He's not.

After he's dragged away, we learn that Munro and the stern woman on the group actually were the whole time.  The invasion continues!

The End!

I'm both annoyed and marginally impressed.

The former is because the Season is ending with a Clip Show.  This format gives them a chance to so many disparate and unique Stories.

The best we got to end an impactful Season...was this?

As for the other part, I will give them credit for being selective.
The Theme is Aliens, so they skipped over Episodes like 'Mary 23' and 'I, Robot' instead of trying to make them work.
This also means that all of Season 1's Alien Episodes are canon to each other...at least in relation to this one.

The Finale Clip Show was simulations- they didn't even try.

Having Don S. Davis in your Episode also keeps you slightly above a failing grade.

It is likely the most skippable Episode of the Season and its twist was extremely obvious.  What's less obvious is why they posed this Picture like the Stars of some sort of ABC Sitcom...

Next time, I skip the 6th lowest rated Episode (as I already covered it).  Let's instead jump to #7 and it's from Season 7 to boot.  See you then...

'00s Fun?: Scary Movie (2000)

 With a sixth Movie out now (as of time of writing), why not go back to the first one?

This one is also called Scary Movie, which makes sense- it's the first one. 
Given how much of Scream 6 they seem to be parodying in the new one (and 5 was the one without no number in the Title), why not just have the 2026 version be Scary Movie 6?

I know that I'm thinking about this way more than anyone should.

In any event, this Parody Film is the combination of 2 different Parody Scripts both licensed by Miramax- Last Summer I Screamed Because Halloween Fell On Friday The 13th (by the Wayans Brothers) and Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween (by Friedberg and Seltzer).

The Wayans Brothers claim that NOTHING was used from the latter- they had 2 more Writers also work on the final product- but the duo is still credited (and marketed their terrible, Parody Films on this merit).

This was the big break for Anna Farris, who was supposedly about to leave Hollywood before she got Cast.
Jon Abrahams (who plays the Skeet Ulrich role) would actually end up in a handful of *actual* Horror Films following this, including the House of Wax and Friday the 13th Remakes.

The big question- does this hold up at all?  Are the topical jokes still good?  Were they then?

To find out, read on...

The Film features a Cold Open with Carmen Electra (like Scream). 
The Actress would go on to be in two of the '____ Movie' Series Films.  Joy.

The actual Opening proper features Farris as Cindy in basically a shot-for-shot redo of Sydney's, just with jokes about an electric fence to protect her virginity and apparently her Dad being a drug mule (who vanishes until Act 3).

The School is aflutter as Cheri Oteri (as Courtney Cox) is exploiting the death (and causing one of her own, with zero consequences) for Ratings.

We meet our group of Leads, including a peak fame Shannon Elizabeth and Regina Hall...who was just in the Film that won Best Picture this year?!?
Life is sometimes crazier than fiction.

They all share a secret of killing this Fisherman guy.

It is I Know What You Did Last Summer, but with the joke being that he wasn't actually dead when they tossed him into the Ocean.

This also stops mattering before Act 2.

The killer is still on the loose, taunting Cindy in her House.

Unfortunately, he's terrible at hiding.
That's the joke.

In what is arguably the most dated joke (and this Film has about 500 that could apply), the killer calls Marlon Wayans' Shorty (whose sole joke is He Loves to Smoke Pot) and it turns into the Wassup Commercial.

There are way too many of these out there.

Shannon sees her boyfriend- Guy who randomly appears in everything Lochlyn Munro- killed during her Talent Contest.

In spite of that, she's not scared of the same killer the next day and just sasses them until her head is cut off.

Cute background joke, at least.

Oteri's Reporter pops up a few times throughout the Film, but stops appearing after she tries to interview the killer while he's working.

She runs into the Woods and they parody The Blair Witch Project for 10 seconds...and that's it.

I guess see you in the new one?

The Cast is whittled down through various parodies- as well as a random fat girl at a Party.

We get the reveal with Not Skeet and Shawn Wayans, but they are then killed by the (I guess) other killer.

This leads to the most famous part of the Film- the Matrix parody.

The killer escapes- knocked out a window and vanishing like Michael Meyers- and Cindy still can't figure things out.

We then get a *timely* parody of The Usual Suspects and learn that Doofy (the 'mentally challenged' parody of David Arquette's Character) was just pretending.

He ditches his disguise and drives away.
Cindy is then hit by a bus, but she'd return for Scary Movie 2-4 and now 6.
The End.

I definitely don't love this as much as teenaged me did.
To be fair, that guy wasn't exactly in love with it either.  I didn't actually own the Films until 2026 (in a 3-pack for $3).

So many of the jokes are just the same idea done over and over again.  You get stuff like 'Ray is obviously Gay' about 30x and 'Shorty loves Pot' about 42x.

The other random sight gags fight for time and are, honestly, usually better than the standby jokes.

An odd bit was apparently cut between the Theatrical and Video release. 
A joke about Gwyneth Paltrow (while Hall is seeing Shakespeare in Love) was deemed 'too mean' by everyone's favorite Producer Harvey Weinstein and changed in ADR.

2026 me has to remember that this was made for a 2000-era audience that had just seen 3 Scream Films and 2 IKWYDLS Films. 
Also, that jokes about people being high, a jock being gay and Doofy being, well, what he was considered the funniest things in the World.

To be nice, this one's Plot is a bit less scattershot than the 525,600 Parody Films to follow (like Epic Movie cutting from a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Scene to a Superman Returns Parody).
They joke about not having a Plot, but sort of try here.

If you're into the raunchier humor and don't mind stuff that's just gross for grossness' sake, this still is worth a look.
As long as all of the Cameos don't feature now dead people.  Right, Prince Parody and...

RIP James Van Der Beek

Next up, let me jump back to the 1990s and over to Japan.  Is this iconic Anime Film as I good as I remember it being over 20 years ago?  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: The Strangeness (1985)

 As someone who actively seeks out the weirdest and most obscure Films, I still find stuff after all of these years.

This is one of those cases...

In possibly one of the earliest examples of an Opening Kill Trope I can think of, a pair of people go into a recently opened cave.

They're both killed by something.

In real life, this was shot in an actual Cave.  People later went in further and actually died from poison gas exposure!

* We also do get some fun stills of the Actors in a stylized way in the Opening Credits *

A group of folks are hired by a Mining Company to go into the same location.

They want to know if there's more gold to be found.

The group includes this Not Quint guy and his very confusing accent.

I supposed it's less confusing than the fact that Co-Writer/Co-Editor/Co-Composer/Co-Producer/Director is credited as a man.
Was it her choice?

They wander around the Mine for a while...a long while.

We briefly get a shot or two of the creature (nicknamed Binky by the crew).

Enjoy it when you can.

The VFX Supervisor would get mainstream work for the next 30 years!

They end up stuck down in the Mine and try to find a way out.

Meanwhile, the Cast is whittled down...eventually by the still mostly unseen creature.

It all comes down to 2 Survivors- even this has a Final Girl- and they escape from/blow up the creature after it takes out the Boss (who went crazy).

There's no Sequel, so I guess they won.
The End.

A Film with many good ideas and a decent monster.
Sadly, the Film does not live up to its true potential.

The idea- people trapped in a Mine with a crazy, Lovecraftian Monster- is a good one.  This one just can't quite make the most of it.

For starters, the Film had a Budget of $25,000, so the Film has many shortcuts.

The Mine- for instance- is only shown in chunks and always in very dim light.  When you see it in bright light, you realize that it is not made out of rocks.

Likewise, the creature doesn't do much and has that really stiff motion that comes from stop motion not being shot/treated properly.  I like the creature though.

This one is recommended to those that are willing to wait for the good stuff, but it won't make the average Horror fan happy.
In fact, at times, it might make you feel like this...

A Film that I like the idea of more than the actual Film.  This one is yet another that can honestly be treated well with a loving Remake/reimagining.

Bail Bond: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

 After a long(ish) gap, Bond is back!

The Spy Who Loved Me is the 1977 entry into the Series and yet another Roger Moore Film.  I'm pumped!

With a three-year gap between Films, did much change?
Well, we have a new Director- although he did do You Only Live Twice with Connery- and 2 new Writers.  Supposedly Tom Mankiewicz did an uncredited rewrite.

In short, this is NOT based on the Book whatsoever and was compiled from a composite of various Screenplays and tweaked when rights weren't available.

We wouldn't get SPECTRE again until, well, Spectre with Daniel Craig.
This would turn out to be the final Film by French Cinematographer Claude Renoir (not the painter) as well.

The Plot involves a crazy rich guy (in both senses of the phrase) and a Plot that manages to unite Britain and Russia.  It also introduces one of- if not the- the most famous Bond Villain Henchmen ever in Jaws.

This Film has a few Jaws connections, it seems, from this Character to using a shark and even...Albert R. Broccoli turning Steven Spielberg down when he offered to Direct?!?
That's real (according to Wikipedia)!

Will this Bond Film return things to glory?  To find out, read on...

We get a big Intro that does a number of notable things.

There's a parallel Scene with Bond leaving his lady and Barbara Bach leaving her man.
Said man is the lead person pursuing Bond down the slopes and gets killed.

Bond parachutes into the Film's Title Sequence (both parodied by American Dad later)

This is Karl Stromberg.  
No, he's not Werner Herzog.

He's a crazy rich guy who is leveraging a tech for tracking submarines as part of his evil plan.

To check off an Austin Powers box, he drops a lady in a shark tank to kill her.

He has two main Henchmen- Jaws and the burly guy from Dr. Phibes Rises Again (the 2nd greatest Film of all time).

Anyone who has seen the blueprints to the device must die!

Moore and Bach are also separately sent to find just that, meeting up with a source in Egypt.

They aren't combative, but they aren't working together...until Jaws tries to kill them both.

They get away and keep pursuing the tech while slowly falling in love.
Like the Title!

Jaws, of course, shows up to kill him on the train a la Live and Let Die.
I guess he's early for his Show Up at the Finale to kill Bond, since he misses it.

This is a Bond Film and we need implausible, but amazing technology.

In this case, Bond and Bach are pursued by the bad guys on the road by a bike, some cars and a helicopter (flown by Caroline Munro!)!

Bond drives into the Ocean and the car turns into a submarine...kind of.

They end up on a Submarine together when the Brits and Russia agree to join forces.

Things get complicated when she learns that Bond killed her man (who was played by the guy who nearly took Moore's job).

On the bad guy's ship, a shootout/fight breaks out.

Bond uses science (he does?!?) to ride a bomb to take out the blast shield to stop the evil plan.

Jaws and Bond have one last face-off (pre-finale) and he uses a big-ass magnet to drag Jaws into the water.  He fights the shark, so Jaws vs. Jaws?

This is after Bond took out Stromberg.

Bond and Bach escape Stromberg's Base (Atlantis) before the Navy destroys it.

They get away in an escape pod (naturally) and their vehicle is brought in by both sides.
Bond makes a sex pun and the Film ends.

A big improvement over the last Film- sorry, Scaramanga.

This one feels like a fully formed Script and it all flows together tonally.  There are silly moments- like how Jaws can rip doors off of cars and can't die- and it doesn't fight against the Film's tone.

The Plot is pretty silly, but treated seriously.  So, when the bizarre stuff happens, you accept it.
After Bond's 27th death quip, you're in it to win it.

Moore said that this was his favorite Bond and, yeah, I can see that.  It doesn't have That Boat Chase, but it is damn good.

This one feels like a big, grand Bond Adventure.

Thankfully, this one brought Bond back to the big time and we got lots more of these Films.  It's crazy to think what life would be like without it.

Speaking of things that life would be different without, is this a rip-off of the Jaws Intro?

Next up, a little diversion to a Parody Film which is topical again.  Has this one aged as well fine wine or Surge Cola?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: 'Tales From The Crypt' - 'Lover Come Hack to Me!'

 An Episode with some interesting people behind the Scenes that made it happen.

It was Written by Michael McDowell, a prolific Author famous for co-Writing Beetlejuice, The Nightmare Before Christmas and the Film adaptation of Thinner.

The Director was Tom Holland, the guy behind Fright Night (and also Thinner) and NOT the Spider-Man one.

With big names behind it, let's see what we get with...

A man marries a rich lady (Amanda Plummer).

He makes it clear to the Aunt that he's taking the lady away and going to get all of the money.

Can you trust a guy who looks like a Samurai Cop?

Their honeymoon is derailed by bad weather and car issues.

They end up at her old House and the guy eventually gets her to come to bed with him.
Apparently, they have never even been undressed around each other.

It all goes well, even as he plans to kill her later that night.

He's woken by a strange sound and sees his new Wife meeting a guy outside.

He watches on in shock as they make love and she talks just like she did with him.

Unlike with him, she takes the nearby axe and kills him!
He tries to stop her, but can't make contact.

She's a ghost!

He's jolted awake by this and greeted by his new Wife.

He tells her what he saw and she doesn't dispute it.

She has the axe now and is going to kill him, since everything is 'perfect' and will only 'get worse.'

He confesses his plans to kill her, thinking that it will help, and draws the gun he brought.

He goes to fire, but there's no bullets and he's chopped up.

In the aftermath, Widow and Aunt talk about her future Daughter.
The End.

A simple, but twisted tale.

The Story itself is not some big, amazing one full of twists and turns.

Like most of these, it is adapted from a 50s-60s Horror Comic.

The thing that makes this one stand out more than it might otherwise is the execution.
Pun fully intended.

The way it is all framed, the bit with the ghost and the whole package really helps.

This is the key difference between just doing a Horror Story and doing one with a great Writer (who we lost in 1994) and Director.

It may not be anyone's favorite Tales from the Crypt Episode, but it went a step above for me.

A solid Episode and simple Premise that was definitely improved with the talent on board.  It's like using the really good, fancy cheese when you make lasagna.