Tubi Thursday: Stage Fright (1987)

 A whole bunch of big names for fans of Italian Horror united for this Film!

Michele Soavi.
George Eastman.
Joe D'amato.
Simon Boswell.

This is...

A local Theater is finishing up their preparation for a bizarre Stage Musical based on a fictional Character known as the Night Owl.

It's like if Dario Argento made Fame...off-Broadway.

The Plot hinges upon a pair of massive coincidences, so bear with me...

One of the Dancers hurt her ankle, so she sneaks out to a Hospital.

A Mental Hospital, that is.  
No, really.

While getting aid, a famous killer escapes and hides out in their car.

Back at the Studio, he kills the friend and sneaks in...

The Director (who puts the DICk in Director) fires the lady, but then keeps her around later.

The Police stake out the building when the body is found, while he locks everyone inside to practice!

The Show must go on...and is now about the real Killer!

Said Killer eventually kills and takes the place of Brett, the guy in the killer's outfit.

Brett is Giovanni Lombardo Radice, by the way, which either means lots to you...or nothing whatsoever.

The killer manages to take out the new Lead Actress under the guise of rehearsal, before being chased off.

He somehow knows the Building better than everyone and picks them off one at a time.

Meanwhile, two Cops sit outside uselessly.

The Cast is whittled down to- and this will shock you- a Final Girl and the Killer.

Can she survive?
Stream it to find out.

A fun, stylish Film that feels both very '80s and very Italian.

From me, that's a compliment btw.

As mentioned, the Plot hinges upon our stupid Leads going to a Mental Hospital for a sprained ankle.  That and the Cast watching him literally kill someone before they go '...wait a second.'

The kills are very creative and the gore is effective without being too over-the-top mostly.

I'd prefer to see it Subbed, but whatever.

It's such a weird, but simple premise and I kind of love it.  Given that this guy would go on to make The Church, I was happy to see how well this turned out.

It's not Soavi's greatest Film, but it is possibly the dawning of the age of...

A very strange and ridiculous Film in all of the right ways.  If you like '80s Italian Horror, check it out.

Ghost Tales: White Noise (2005)

 A Film that is apparently to blame for at least one random Horror Film coming out every January.

This is White Noise, a 2005 Film that surprised the Film Industry.
Is it because of the quality?  Well...no, not really.

The Film was a surprise hit- grossing its Budget multiple times over- in a dead zone (not that one) for Film releases.  January was for castoff Films and the required release of Oscar bait Films to be eligible.

Is there more to this one other than the reason that Films like The Boy, Cloverfield and The Bye-Bye Man came out in January?

The Plot involves a man who handles grief by looking into the mystery of ghosts.  Are they hiding in the static we see on a daily basis?  Can they communicate with us?

This was the big American Film for a British Director- who has mostly done Period Pieces and Procedurals since- and it hit big.

To find out if it is good, read on...

An Architect- Michael Keaton- gets some great news from his Wife- she's pregnant!

He has a kid with his ex-Wife, but now she will too.

That day, he sees her off to work and then waits for her at home that night.

...and waits...and waits...

She's gone long enough to be reported missing and Keaton understandably panics.

While in that state, he sees a guy parked near his House and then sees him the next day outside of his work.

The man tells him that his Wife has passed, but is trying to communicate with him from the other side.

He doesn't believe him, of course, and keeps looking.

Finally, the bad news comes in- she's dead, her body found floating in a river by a Factory.

In the ensuing Months, he shifts his focus from work to the study of White Noise, which is the idea that ghosts and spirits can be seen/recorded in static.

He works with the man from earlier- until his mysterious and sudden death- and another woman who studies this.

He sees a vision of a woman in the White Noise and goes to help her.

She's in a car wreck with a power line about to fall.

He manages to save the baby- at her request- but can't save her.

At the Funeral, he wants to work with the Husband, who very directly denies him.
'My wife believed in this,' he says (paraphrased), 'But I don't!'

Confusion arises as he learns that other recent deaths match names in the massive data log of White Noise recordings...and they also studied it.

The lady working with him is understandably confused when she sees a message from herself!

She's compelled to jump from a third floor balcony, but survives.

It soon becomes clear the Keaton keeps seeing a trio of shadowy figures, especially as he gets deeper.

He sees a message from his Wife too- she tells him to go!

He gets a vision in the White Noise of the same building where his Wife was found dead by.

As it turns out, a worker at the site (who he met earlier) was killing people- including his Wife- at the beckoning of the shadowy figures.

Keaton dies when he tries to stop them, but the SWAT Team saves the last would-be victim.

Days later, he can be heard in Radio Static by his Son.

The End.

A Film that tries to be two things and I'm not sure if it quite works.

The first half of the Film is a straight Drama with people talking about White Noise.  You can see it being about grief and how it is processed.

At a certain point, all of the stuff turns out to be true...so it isn't a metaphor.

It gets pretty by-the-numbers at this point and the Plot hinges upon a guy we met exactly once in a random Scene.

The idea of 'Guy studies thing to feel better, but then it gets dangerous' isn't a bad one.  It has worked many times.

I think the problem is that this works *too well* as one idea (with its bleak look and pace) that when it becomes a Horror Film it is almost disappointing.

So, when it changes from one to the other, you can't really enjoy/appreciate the first part anymore.  The new stuff isn't that great either, so...nobody wins here.

If you're asking me to recommend this one then, I'm...not exactly going to...

Next time, I want to make up for a past sin.  Back in the day, I only reviewed one part of a Horror Anthology...so let me do the rest now.  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: V/H/S Halloween (2025)

 Another VHS Film by Shudder?
Why not?!?

This is the topical...

The Framing Device this time is a Tale called 'Diet Phantasma.'

Test Subjects are brought into a Room in increments to try a new Soda...which has a deadly aftertaste!

As always, we'll touch back in with that Story between Segments.

Next up is 'Coochie Coochie Coo.'

A pair of Trick or Treaters wreak some mild havoc before finding just the worst Mother living there that they could!

Next up is 'Ut Supra Sic Infra' (aka As Above So Below).  
No, not that one.

Paco Plaza brings us a two-tiered tale involving a Halloween Party gone wrong and the subsequent Police Investigation that doesn't go much better!

Following that is 'Fun Size.'

From the man behind 'Too Many Cooks' and 'Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell' comes a twisted and funny tale involving dumb adults and a potential new Horror Mascot.

Make it happen, Internet!

Switching gears dramatically, we have 'Kidprint.'

In a small, '80s Town, Kids are going missing and a guy is offering a service to give Parents up-to-date video records of their children (should they go missing).

Why does it go so wrong?!?

Our final Tale is 'Home Haunt.'

A Dad wants to make a Haunted House one final year with his Son...and learns the evil of old records.

One last bit of Soda and we're out!

A decent to good collection of Horror Shorts for you to partake of.

My issue right off the bat is the tonal disconnect between the Stories.
If that works for you, then take that comment in stride.

The other issue- which is also personal preference- is that some of the shorts- especially 'Kidprint'- lean into just showing gore to disturb you, rather than be interesting.

Other shorts like 'Coochie Coochie Coo' are disturbing for different reasons.

Only one tale really plays well with the Found Footage aspect, mixing with the narrative and how it plays out.  Naturally, it is the one by the guy who made 3 of the 4 Rec Films.

As is the requirement, here is my Ranking of the Tales from Best to Worst...

1) Fun Size
2) Ut Supra Sic Infra (the best at being scary)

3) Home Haunt (although these two could switch easily)
4) Diet Phantasma
5) Coochie Coochie Coo

6) Kidprint

Again- this is just personal preference.  If you don't agree, well, don't show up at my door like this please...

A weird mix of Tales, some that are just cruel (to be kind?) and some that are wacky.  It's a mixed bag of candy....I guess for this metaphor to work.

5,300th Post Special!!!: Deafula (1975)

In this Movie, nobody can hear...well, anything.
Is that ableist or just wordplay?

This is Deafula, a 1975 Film that is pretty much what you'd guess.  
A deaf guy is a Vampire, calls himself 'Deafula' and kills people.

There's more artsy BS- this is really a Film for Bob in many ways- but that is the summary I'm going with.

This one is both famous and also super-rare.  It was saved on Archive.org, but I couldn't find it there.
My options were a very low-quality YT version or a slightly-less low-quality version elsewhere.

Peter Weschberg/Wolf did something interesting here as a Director, making a Film that has a deaf Cast, but has a Dubbed Audio Track for those of us not fluent in ASL.

I only reliably know the one phrase...and that's because it is also 'Wakanda Forever.'

To find out if this is a rare gem or not, read on...

As noted, the Film was shot and acted entirely in ASL.

Even if the print quality at this point wasn't 'squinting across the room without my glasses' at most times, I'd still be lost.

Thankfully, Signscope was made...which is just a Dubbed Audio Track.

This is all about a guy named Peter.

He has a tragic past and an issue with blood.

You see, he sometimes loses control- even as a kid, we learn- and transforms into Deafula!

To be clear, he calls himself this.
My guess is that it was to 'take the fun out of calling him that' a la Fat Amy.

Other jokes to make that don't involve him being Deaf though.

Throughout the Film, we get this out of context Scenes of the titular Character killing people.

They are the most interesting parts, even if they are filler.

In other words, they are like adding bits of jalapeno pepper to your meatloaf.

Does my breath smell like spicy meatloaf?

He eventually learns about his past in full detail from his Dad (who immediately dies) and then meets this lady that looks like the one from the Insidious Films.

You know her name- I don't need to say it.

He's apparently the son of Dracula and his Mom, but was raised by the Priest.  He got monthly blood donations from his Dad to keep him normal, but they eventually stopped working.

We learn earlier from a pair of Cops that Dracula is dead, so it is a bit confusing when he then goes to see Dracula alive (as much as he ever is).

He stakes Dracula- which kills that lady for some reason- and he fully becomes a Priest.

The suspicious Cop- who seems to have inspired the Lead from Disco Elysium- sets a trap however after finding proof that Peter is a Vampire.

His Cop buddy doesn't believe it...until Peter decides to confess...inside the Church to nobody.

The Film ends with a big old monologue from our Lead, who is talking to God.

Again- the Cops are outside and don't seem to be here for this at all.

He eventually commits a form of suicide- touching Dracula's evil ring to a crucifix- to die and escape his torment.

I just hope Deafula wasn't Catholic.
The End.

A Film with some great ideas, interesting visuals...and no Budget.

As you saw earlier, Peter becoming Deafula means a big old, silly fake nose.  It just takes the drama out of it.

Speaking of that, he 'kills' one biker by telling him to drive off of a Cliff.  That means driving for a good two minutes straight, stopping near a cliff and then slowly going over it...off-camera.

This Scene really gives you a good view of how this Film both works and doesn't.

Also, there's a guy who 'lost' his hands...and is clearly just hiding them in soup cans on the end of his wrist.  That didn't help matters.

When it works, Deafula is an interesting Film about loss of control and occasionally interesting Vampire Scenes.
When it doesn't, it is long, droning monologues which are dubbed in by mostly-competent Voice Actors.

If there was a good print of this around, it would also help.

Hey, don't look at me like that- I'm just being honest!

A Film that is mostly more than its gimmick.  Too bad the Budget was like $400, so they dragged every Dialog Scene out for eternity.

Tubi Thursday: Cutting Class (1989)

 How have I not ever done this one?!?

Oh right- it is a Horror Comedy.

Let's see how good a Film that sat on a shelf for 2 years before being released truly is...

Our Final Girl's Dad- Martin Mull- goes out hunting and is, well, hunted himself.

He's shot with an arrow...but he'll keep popping throughout the Film.
It is that kind of Film.

The Film focuses on her and her friends- notably Brad Pitt is among them.

He's 80% of the reason this got an HD Remaster.

They're all kind of jerks, but she's nice.
That's the rule, right?

Another Student is back from a long time away in a Mental Hospital.

The fact that he looks like early '90s Jim Bruer doesn't help his case for sanity either.

The School is also full of jerks in authority, like the Principal here.

Roddy McDowall is back in this kind of role and, like Angel IV: Undercover, he's never punished for his crimes.

He was also the Principal in 'Class of 1999.'

People start dying at the School, though the killer does a good job hiding the bodies.

He manages to kill the Art Teacher (see the Stinger), the Slutty Friend and some random guy before his offing of the Vice Principal is discovered.

The 'crazy' guy is blamed- he also just wandered up as the body was found- and goes into hiding.

He tries to convince our Final Girl that he's not the killer- Brad Pitt is.

To see how it all plays out, stream it now.

A Film that is actually kind of...good?  It's not great, but it has moments.

I was worried about this one as a 'Horror Comedy.'  That is harder to pull off than people think.
This one just has weird, silly moments, but never makes humor out of the deaths.

The big draw here since, well, the 1990s is Brad Pitt as the main Jock.  He's pretty good.  He definitely goes a bit broad at times, but that could be part of an issue with the direction.

This Film was Directed by Rospo Pallenberg (who co-wrote for stuff like Exorcist 2 and Zardoz).  It is his only Film as a Director...and, as mentioned, was shelved for 2 years.

The Writer did go on to create Salute Your Shorts, at least.

All in all, it is a Horror Comedy that is played mostly-straight and kind of works.  It won't (and didn't) win any Awards, but it was enjoyable for me.

And now a quick look at the Baywatch Auditions going on across town...

A Film that is mostly famous for its breakout Star.  It works as a fairly straight Slasher, in contrast to the slew of then-recent Parodies.

New Flix: M3GAN 2.0 (2025)

 I hadn't seen the original Film when the Sequel came out.

As such, I didn't go see that one in Theaters.
Apparently, not enough people did.

Regardless, the Film is Streaming now, so let's see if this is truly an upgrade...

In a Cold Open, a Government Test for a new Agent goes wrong as they stop following orders.

The chaos continues as the Agent- actually a robot- goes after those involved in its creation!

This brings us back to M3gan.

To recap, she was created for bonding with kids.  She went a little bit nuts.

She's gone for good...right?

Well, no.

Her digital essence survived and is given a temporary pass in a non-killer body.

That killer robot is now after our Heroines, so they need all of the help they can get!

As things get worse, they agree to help her build a new body.

In a cute bit, M3gan asks to be taller.
This was done since her Actress was now taller, since that's how puberty works.

Can this new version of M3gan stand up to the new Model?

What secrets will be revealed?
Who will survive?
What SNL Actor will appear and make you go 'Oh yeah- that guy' eventually?

To find out the answers, stream it now.

A Film that is quite enjoyable, but I do see the issue.

The original Film was a Horror Film wrapped up in some light Sci-Fi elements and a Drama.
This one is a more hardline Sci-Fi Action Film that eschews much of the Drama for Comedy.

Not every Series can survive the transition.  For every Aliens, there are your CHUD 2: Bud the Chud examples or stuff like Ghoulies IV and Critters IV.
Hell, even Waxwork 2 dealt with this and I love that Film.

On its own merit, the Film really works.  The Characters carried over have evolved and do change with the times.

The new menace is good.  At worst, she comes off like the latest villain in a Fast & Furious Film, complete with a vague understanding of how the Internet and Computers really work.

As you get to the Third Act, enough twists and turns have happened to thankfully make you forget all about that.

M3GAN 2.0 is a bold attempt to do something different- for better or worse.
Plus, it is Streaming now, so it works for those of you who are, say, Housebound.

A Film that didn't quite please enough people at the time.  Will its legacy improve with time though?