Did you ever watch your favorite band perform and think 'I wonder what kind of Horror Film the Singer would make?'
Apparently, someone did.
In 1998, we got Strangeland, the brainchild of Dee Snider, the Lead Singer of Twisted Sister. The Band had actually broken up before the Film was made...but got back together when they had a Soundtrack to sell.
Capitalism!
What is his big idea? Piercings! Tattoos! Deviants?
A man calling himself 'Captain Howdy' (a big fan of The Exorcist, I guess) kidnaps and tortures people by giving them body modifications against their will.
That's it. That's the whole Pitch.
Can Dee Snider lead a Film after multiple appearances in Movies and TV always playing himself? Can a future Scooby-Doo Star seal the deal?
To find out, read on...
A young woman- Linda Cardellini in her transition from Freaks and Geeks to Scooby-Doo- and her friend- who was in this and a Film in 2007- go on Message Boards.
They talk to a guy calling himself Capt. Howdy and get invited to a party.
They are immediately kidnapped- mostly off-screen- and now the search is on.
Thankfully, her Dad is a Detective.
Unfortunately, he doesn't know how technology works.
At all.
Luckily, they can bring an expert and she's smart.
She's Amy Smart, to be exact, and she knows teen lingo to help them find Howdy.
You'd better hurry, as the friend is found dead (as she died of a heart attack during a piercing...I guess).
Meanwhile, the Villain has a basement full of people forcibly being pierced all over...and the Daughter just kind of kept in a cage.
He did sew her mouth shut (an effect they never do on camera, btw) so that they could put it on the DVD cover.
That is a key reason why this one jumped the line, as it were to be reviewed. I'm tired of staring at that box on my desk every day.
As they search a Bar full of 'Modern Primitives' (a term the people call themselves), they pass by a guy played by...their Boss.
This was put in there...and then the Plot completely ignored it.
Cool?
The Cops set up a trap for Howdy, but get to the wrong house.
Can anyone save Velma?!?
Well, yes.
Howdy taunts the Cop via voice messages and a dog can be heard that is right outside of the Car the Cop is in.
So, basically, he was across the street.
After a fight, our Hero catches Howdy...at around the 40-minute mark.
We are then treated to a montage showing that Howdy was found insane and given treatment for 3 years instead of jail.
He's allowed to return back to his home- you know, the CRIME SCENE- but the community doesn't approve.
Also, I guess he's Marilyn Manson now?
As such, Robert Englund leads a mob to drag him out of town and hang him.
Our Hero sees this...and does nothing.
The tree limb snaps after they leave and he survives.
Now he wants revenge, so he has to stop to remove the body paint covering his tattooed right side AND reinstall all of his piercings.
He captures Englund and the woman leading the mob...and just kidnaps Linda Cardellini again- just for fun!
Our Hero eventually is able to track down the newest victims- who are maimed, but not killed- and his Daughter.
He is then set up to meet Howdy in a Church.
They fight and he hooks Snider by the back and sends him swinging back and forth...before setting him on fire.
The End.
A Film that perhaps tries a bit too hard to be edgy and 'scary' to us 'normies.'
The Plot, at least on paper, is pretty simple. Crazy guy kidnaps people for pre-Saw experiments. He's captured.
The part where he apparently reformed (off-camera) and is then forced back to his old ways is a new wrinkle.
Granted- it doesn't lead to anything different.
If the Plot had just had him kidnap more people- making Englund a Preacher condemning him, for example- would anything be different? No.
There's no moral about 'let him be' that I could pick up.
Given that he just immediately reverts to his old self and does the same thing, was he just one day of missing his pills away from this?
Why not just move, you know, SOMEWHERE ELSE?!?
The turn could have led to something interesting, but just feels like Part 2 of a TV Movie. Especially considering that he just kidnaps the same girl both times.
Snider is also Ant-Man, I guess, as he somehow hides behind the body of a dead lady smaller than him for this Scene to 'puppet' her around for a bit.
Next up, let's stick to the '90s and cover another Superhero Film non-starter. Is it a Mystery why these Men didn't get a Sequel? Stay tuned...
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