Alright, who asked for this?
Oh right- the Movie Studio when a $15 million Film made $70 million.
This time, we get some National Guard Members being sent out on a rescue mission to the infamous Hills. Mind you, these guys just FAILED their last TRAINING Mission, but why not send them?
We get a different clan of Mutants here and no other relation to the Plot.
Wes Craven (who co-wrote this with his Son) apparently envisioned the Film featuring the return of Brenda, who is actively assigned due to her previous encounter there. That went out the window when the Actress was too busy making LOST to be in this.
As such, there's, well, no Plot relation other than 'Government investigates area.' Weirdly, they name the group- Sector 15- so this retroactively feels like world-building for a Shared Universe (a la SHIELD or Monarch).
There is no other Sequel.
This Film is also not to be confused with The Hills Have Eyes PART 2 from 1985, which I already reviewed in 2010.
Let's see why this one made about half as much and made sure that there was no such thing as The Hills Have Eyes 3 (unless you count The Asylum version) for the second time so far in History...
Our Cold Open features a pregnant woman (who isn't named, but at least isn't Brenda) tied down to a bed and delivering a baby...that is stillborn.
The Mutant kills her.
After that...Scene, we see some Scientists checking out some of the last Film's Sets.
As noted, the Government sent them.
They die like the Scientists in the last Film's Intro, setting a pattern.
Our Heroes are a bunch of National Guard Members.
They go all Blue Kestrel Down against some 'insurgents,' but...
...it was just a training mission...with live ammo and grenades.
Their Drill Seargent (is that still the right term?) berates them, introducing them and their one defining character traits.
The high point- insulting one guy for being against the Iraq War, since 'all Presidents lie- it's their job.'
In spite of just failing, they are called in to check on Sector 15.
They find no evidence of the bodies- the Hill Cannibals having OCD, it seems- and the bulk go looking.
The Leader specifically tells them not to 'bring too much ammo, since it is heavy.'
Sigh.
The Cannibals attack strategically, since I guess a singed copy of The Art of War was left behind.
They get them on edge and the 'doughy Soldier' accidentally kills the Leader.
He falls to his death moments later when he climbs down an obviously cut rope.
The remaining group is reunited as the ones left at base failed miserably.
The Jeep- destroyed.
Their guns- gone.
The survivor they find- dead.
Now one of the only two women in this Movie is about to get grabbed by a gravelly cannibal.
We, the audience, know why they want her.
Thankfully, our Leads find out when one of the guys from the Intro dumps exposition and then offs himself.
You'll never guess what happens- the guy accused of not being brave and 'macho' becomes the 'brave, macho' Lead.
Where did they come up with this?!?
We also get the one friendly Mutant.
Again- where did they get THIS idea from?
The Cast is slowly picked off as they go to rescue the captured Soldier. You can guess what happens to her without me saying it, right?
It all comes down to our Lead and the two ladies as they do battle with Papa Hades, who's just a grunting pituitary gland of a man.
They kill him and exit...but are watched by another Mutant.
No Sequel.
The End.
A pretty nothing Film in all of the ways that ultimately matter.
Positives- the make-up looks great...or gross. The Mutants are all different and look freaky.
There is clearly some creativity put into this side of things, like with the half-rocky one.
Mind you, one of them is just Sloth from The Goonies though.
In the other aspects, Writing, Production, Acting and Directing, it's not as good.
The Actors aren't bad, but nobody is amazing. The Desert Sets look good, but we've already seen them before. The Story is really basic and so much is Copy-Paste.
The Direction isn't terrible, but the shots aren't all that great.
The erratic Editing at times and soundtrack don't help matters.
All in all, it is very familiar and the changes aren't enough to make this one stand out. They even reused the 'Mutant watches them' ending.
You have to imagine that if they had made a third one, the Heroes would have defeated this Mutant and then been observed by a Mutant who had somehow hijacked the ISS!
Next up, I'll go to a different Horror Remake. I can't go right from this to Texas Chainsaw- can you blame me? Stay tuned...
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