Friday, December 9, 2016

Lost in Translation?: Captain America- Civil War

I was looking for different Civil War Pictures for a side project when I came across these.  They are just too neat not to share.

These come to you from China...
While they made ones for every Character, I chose the most random one to share.  Who cares about Iron Man when you've got...
They're all pretty neat though, so check them out online.

Thanks, Google!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Quick Reviews: Attack on Titan- The End of the World

I thought that I'd have to wait longer to do this one, but I'll take what I can get.  The Titan Saga concludes now...
In the previous Film, we learn that Titans terrorize the World and things are really bad.

After the Film recapping just that, they then show mysterious people burning books.  Okay...
Our Hero is being held by the Military after what happened in the shocking conclusion to the last Film.  Will he get out alive?
Yes, but there are still more mysteries here.  For example, does this remind you of The Architect?
He joins up with the most famous Titan Killer, but this creates a conflict when his new pal wants to kill his old pals and steal their bomb.
Will our Hero be able to defeat the most devious and clever Titan of them all?
Or will the Titans be too strong for anyone to stop?  To find out, watch the Film(s).
Dark, violent stuff.  The Film suffers and thrives by being the second part of the Story.  It does get to benefit from things built up- be they bombs or kicks-, but it also gets an awkward start-stop problem due to having to explaining things.  There are 18 minutes before the Title appears, at least 10 minutes of which are just clips from the previous Film.  So, if both Films are about 90 minutes with Credits, why not just combine them?  This one has a good 10-15 minutes of back-fill/old footage, so this could easily be one epic-length Film.  Hell, it would still be shorter than ANY of those Hobbit Films.  That tangent aside, this one is quite good at what it wants to be.  While you have to wait a bit for it (the first third of the Film is mostly a tease), the Action is quite crazy.  Nobody is truly safe and the CG blood sure flies.  Without SPOILing too much, they do explain alot that was mysterious in the first Film, but there are still some things to be explained.  I will also say that it is odd how little the normal Titans factor into this one.  In any event, the second half/part really delivers.  Considering that I have never watched the Anime (save for Commercials for it), I'd say that I'm a good, unbiased source to review it.  If anyone has a problem with that, they can take it up with my new pal...
Crazy stuff that does suffer a bit from slow pacing early on.  The final product is crazy, bloody and fun though.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Suicide Squad (2016)

Given the body count in Suicide Squad, how can a few stand out?  I'll show you...

Incubus possesses this guy's body, but apparently needs more to get to full power.  His Host passes out in the Subway.
What luck- there is a Doctor in the House...or Subway.
He's dead, grabbed by Incubus to help make him his new body.
The Cop who saw the man 'faint'- he's dead too.
Last but not least, the guy filming this all in the background- he's dead too.

There is also the people on the Subway Train too, but their deaths are less explicit.
Basically, they died to make a guy into a giant, CG sprite.  How pointless.

The message: don't ride the Subway.  Inca Demons won't kill you on the Bus!

This Message brought to you by Greyhound (TM).

TV on the Internet: Ash vs. Evil Dead- 'Home Again'

Alright- we're back on track!  Unfortunately for our Heroes, things go somewhat awry...
After the last victory was tainted by loss, Ash comes up with a crazy plan to set things right.
Unfortunately, this goes all sorts of wrong right from the get-go.  Whoops.
Ash goes through personal and internal issues this Episode.  Has he learned from experience?
Will Ash's return to fix an old mess reveal new secrets that will help humanity...
...or will he just get more people killed?
Oh and how is this thing back?!?  To find out, watch the Episode.
A fun trip to the Past.  Kudos to Ash vs Evil Dead for keeping things fresh.  While last Season was good, it kept on a consistent pattern.  In this Season, they constantly keep you on your toes.  They're in Florida and then Ash's Dad shows up.  He's fighting a demon Car and now he's in a Sanitarium?  In this Episode, they go back to 1982- why not?!?  That said, they have fun with the idea that Ash is revisiting his past exploits with his knowledge of what to do and what not to do.  Everyone has fun with this new location and the Story plays with it well.  After 3 main Films and like 207 Video Games, it is good to see them with new stuff to do.  By filling in more of the Story, this feels like they are really doing something with the premise.  All in all, fun stuff that makes me curious just to see where they are going.  In lieu of a shot of Ash's face covered in blood, here's a marquee letting you now that it is 1982...
Next time, more past trouble filtered through future experience.  What kind of crazy will happen next?  See you then.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Quick Reviews: Suicide Squad- Extended Cut (2016)

Alright, well...I might as well get to this one.  Is DC's poorly-rated hit a good Film or not?  Since I know you were just waiting for me to tell you, I will...
In the wake of Batman v Superman, the Government wants a team of Criminals as back-up should things go awry.

How they think that people like Captain Boomerang, Harley Quinn and Killer Croc could have stopped Zod with less casualties is anyone's guess.
Deadshot is also here and he's...a killer with a young Daughter.  Aw, that's instantly-endearing.

By the way, the Internet freaks out over Lady Ghostbusters and Black Johnny Storm, but has no issue with Black Deadshot?  Consistency, Trolls!
As the Team is prepped for a mysterious mission to rescue an HVT, Slipknot is also here.  The fact that he gets no Intro Scene/Graphic should definitely not be a sign of how disposable he is.
The Team- along with Handlers like Rick Flagg, Katana and anonymous Soldiers- must stop strange creatures along the way.

These Creatures are so dangerous that EVERYONE can destroy their heads in one swing- even Captain Boomerang!
The threat- Enchantress and her evil Brother Incubus.  Big props to Amanda Waller for setting this all up with her incompetence- like pretty much every problem in the Film.
...and yes, there is a glowing sky portal.  Why wouldn't there be?

Can our 'Heroes' work together to save the World or die trying?  To find out, watch the Film.
Not great, but not utter crap either.  To be honest, I feel bad for this Movie more than I feel bothered by it.  The basic concept is good.  The execution is just all over the map and ridiculous.  I could spend hours discussing how they messed this up.  Instead, I'll just say my positives- it generally looks nice.  Now let me be brief with these...
1) The Villains are barely Villains.
2) Most of the Cast is just not charismatic.
3) Will Smith can't help but be Will Smith, even when he's an assassin.  Also, why no mask?
4) Captain Boomerang was pointless and mostly just there to remind you of Deadpool.
5) Even if they're innocent, the racial stereotyping here is just plain bad.
6) The Story is just a mess as far as tone, pacing and how it was Edited.
7) They cast arguably the worst Actress here in the Role that required range.
8) You introduce the Characters and have them fight an Incan Demi-God?  Really.
9) What a waste of Katana.
10) That pointless Post-Credits Scene.

I feel better now.  I'll leave you with the Film giving the middle-finger to Harley fans by showing her classic outfit...and just having her dress like a bit of a skank (which, to be fair, she is here)....
Considering that it has gotten so much negative hype, I have to say is still kind of a mess.  It isn't awful though- just confusingly-chopped together by several Scripts and Edits.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Lost TV: Stephen King's Golden Years- Episode 1

After doing a ton of The Twilight Zone and all of Twin Peaks (until 2017, of course), I need something new/old to cover.  I picked this 1991 Series Written for TV by Mr. King himself.

Considering that I meant to do this ages ago, I might as well not waste any time.
This is Harlan Williams (no relation to the Comedian).  He's an old man who works at a Defense Department Facility, but will soon be fired due to his Age.
Said Facility is hosting an experiment by Dr. Toddhunter (really, Stephen?!?) involving a Particle Accelerator.  Sadly, he does not create The Flash.
As the device starts to explode, Dr. Trollhunter insists they not stop.  This leads to a bigger explosion and...
Williams being bathed in some sort of glowing energy.  Sadly, he does not become The Hulk.
A General (the late Ed Lauter) and the Head of Security (Felicity Huffman!) investigate what happened.
As he recovers in the Hospital, Williams starts to exhibit weird symptoms.  Where will this lead?

Find out next Episode.
A good start, even if it is just all build-up.  To be fair, how else does something like this work?  They have to introduce all of the Characters, the Setting and set up the events that make the Show.  That is just how that works.  In any event, they do that quite well.  We see our Lead, understand his situation and hope that he can make it work.  They do drag things out a little- like what felt like an eternity arguing over how the light worked-, but it is mostly-paced well.  The pay-off to the light issue is pretty darn good.  The fact that they use it for humor- good.  The Episode features Stephen Root too, so they have a natural asshole to play off of too.  There's some odd stuff going on between Lauter and Huffman's Characters too, so I'm kind of curious where that goes.  In spite of the odd Film-style cut of the Show, I'm going to stick with this either way.  Despite being known for Horror, the only scary part- setting up a bit where 2 octogenarians fooling around in the Shower!
Next time, what symptoms will Williams show?  Will the Government find out?  See you then...

Friday, December 2, 2016

Sleep Tight: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5- The Dream Child

Another Nightmare that I woke up from.  Today's Film is A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child, the 1989 Sequel that exists somewhere in a limbo.  It isn't as well-liked as Part 1 or Part 3, but nor is it as polarizing at Part 6 or Freddy vs Jason.  Just like The Dream Master, this one is remembered, but not as much as the rest.  This time, Freddy is back for more killings, but also more subtext about growing up and maturing.  The theory is that the Film was aimed to a slightly-older audience, figuring that the fans of the Original were getting to the 'thinking of having kids' phase that many go through.  This was the least financially-successful Film in the Series, so you be the judge.  The whole thing feels similar in a bad way (it is Part FIVE), but also different in a confusing way.  Will this work better with less actual killings?  To note, we actually get returning Actors in the Lead Roles this time- hurray!  We also brought a couple of odd Retcons too- yes hurray.  To find out if this mostly-ignored Chapter (save for leading to one of the Comics) is good or bad, read on...
In spite of some weird dreams (that try to fill in Freddy's backstory), Alice is convinced that everything is alright.
This doesn't last long as she ends up in a dream (memory?) that involves Freddy being born as an It's Alive baby, crawling to his remains from Part 4 and comes back to life...somehow.

Look- it is better than a dream dog peeing fire on his dream body, so...improvement?
This time, Freddy can attack people in their dreams, but also channeling Alice somehow.  This leads to her boyfriend being turned into some weird mix of Ghost Rider and Hardware.
Does she want the good news or the bad news?

The good news- she's Pregnant.
The bad news- Freddy is using her unborn fetus to channel his power...or something.
This kid appears at the Hospital, but nobody but Alice sees him.  Gee- I wonder who he is?
Now he's the odd thing: this one actually gives you more teases of kills than ever.  While the one girl dies famously by choking on food via Freddy, Alice's friend here escapes her fate.
This leads to the Film Series' original Shark-Jumping moment: Super Freddy.

Some context- the one guy loves and draws Comics, so he's killed by a 'Super Villain' in his dreams. still dumb.
Oh and the Retcons I talked about?  Well, Freddy now fears his Mother's spirit...who now shows up as her younger self (contradicting Part 3) and her body needs to be freed from the Asylum to come back...even though...

a) She freely appeared and helped Dr. Gordon in Part 3.
b) She was shown to be buried in the Cemetery (also in Part 3).
After a whole Film's worth of build-up, she is released and...tells Alice's unborn kid to beat Freddy.

Oh, alright then.  Now dead for reals, teased with returning in the Film's last shot...again.
Getting kind of stale, unfortunately.  While I'm not as in love with Part 3 as most, it was a solid entry.   Part 4 was a bit shaky with the Recasting, odd Story bits and generally feeling of malaise.  That is not helped with this one, even if there is no Recasting.  Freddy still kills people with continually-more-silly Dream Scenarios.  Teens run around and die.  Freddy dies, but you know that he'll be back.  Not counting the weird detour that the much-maligned Part 2 took, the Films have all been this way.  They do mix things up here with the new stuff involving the fetus, but it is super-bizarre.  Freddy has escaped dreams to exist physically in Alice's body?  He's channeling his power through her unborn child, since it 'dreams.'  A Doctor actually tells someone that a fetus dreams?  On top of that, the aforementioned Retcons/inconsistencies.  It just feels weird that this is a direct Sequel, but now I'm being told something different.  I also have to wonder what happened to Dr. Gordon, although he was absent from the last Film too.  How does nobody remember all of the mysterious deaths that happened in the last 2 Films?  This one has some good moments, some especially-ridiculous ones (Super Freddy!) and some just plain strange ones.  A mixed bag overall- not good enough to keep this one going for much longer though.  On the plus side, this M.C. Esher bit is neat.  On the negative side, they kind of borrowed it from Labyrinth (made 3 years earlier)...
Next up, I dig through my own collection for some content.  Considering all the random crap I bought recently, who knows what will come next.  Stay tuned...