'50s Class: The War of the Worlds (1953)

 Amazon may have paid for a new one, but can we replace the Original Film?

This is The War of the Worlds, the 1953 Classic from Producer George Pal.  Full disclosure- I'm a big fan of these '50s Sci-Fi Films.

That said, is it truly a great Film?
It tells the Tale of a small Town that becomes the epicenter of a Martian Invasion.  Why didn't Orson Welles warn us?!?

Can mankind figure out how to save our World?  Did this somehow get a TV Show in the '80s?

To find out, read on...

A piece of debris from space- they aren't sure if it is a comet or a meteor, since '50s- crashes in the Woods outside of a major City.

As luck would have it, a bunch of Scientists are nearby to help.!

The main guy is Dr. Clayton Forrester, who is just your everyday, relatable Scientist with multiple Masters Degrees and flies in on his private plane.

His name is also the inspiration for Dr. Forrester on Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Hi, Trace.

La la la.

They observe the rock-looking object for a while and discuss how to study it.

While the Town celebrates the impending tourism rush, three guys are left to watch it.

The top cracks open and a metallic object comes out.  Is it a probe?

Nope- it is a ship.

It begins to attack and we learn- but aren't shown- that others are appearing all over the World!

Our weapons have no effect on them, as they can form a sort of magnetic energy shield.

In a weird bit (especially given the Ending), this Priest tries to talk to the Martians and get vaporized!

Attacks only get worse and our Hero- alongside Sylvia- flees the Scene.

His plane crashes- they're fine- and they hide out in a House.

A lurking ship tries to find them. 

Wow, that's freaky!

The probe then shows up and...I'm less scared.

I mean, I was never good at Simon, so that is a bit scary.

They try more weapons- like an A-Bomb- but nothing works!

Humanity seems doomed until the ships suddenly start to fall.

We see an alien (limb) appear and we learn that germs in our atmosphere killed them.
It sounds better when Morgan Freeman says it though.

The oddly religious End.

A Classic Film with only one real issue for modern audiences.

While the Film is well-written, produced and directed, it lacks a real emotional core.  Dr. Forrester, simply put, doesn't make me feel a deep connection to the events of the Film.

Clearly Steven Spielberg agreed, making his Remake (which I saw as a Theater Employee) about Tom Cruise and his family.

With that out of the way, the Film works on so many other levels.

It looks great (and I'm only watching it on DVD, not 4K).  It sounds great.  It feels big.

The Ships look great, even if the wires are more visible in recent prints (save for the new 4K version, which digitally removed them) like mine at certain points.
The effect of the ray guns/blasts aren't even remotely consistent, but always look great.

If you can accept that this version is a bit emotionally lacking, give this one a look.  It doesn't feature Ice Cube behind a monitor, so it is absolutely recommended.

It was actually the giant men that killed the Martians!

Next up, let's flip things and cover the Remake of a classic 1950s Film.  This one is big and loud, but is it good?  Stay tuned...

Birthday Review: The Condemned 2 (with Randy Orton)

 A special Review for one reader- even if it is a bit late.  Like an RKO, however, this came out of nowhere!

This is The Condemned 2, a 2015 DTV Sequel to a Film that definitely exists.
That one featured 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin in the 2nd proper WWE Films Production (after The Marine).

In the wake of that Film's mild success, we got a bunch of random Films that I've covered over the years.

We soon got Sequels to their Films- like The Marine 2, 12 Rounds 2 (also with Orton), 12 Rounds 3 and See No Evil 2- , original Films- Christmas Bounty, Vendetta and The Chaperone- and Sequels to other Films- Leprechaun- Origins, Jingle All the Way 2 and Surfs Up 2- that they licensed.

Back when they made The Marine 2, Randy Orton was Cast as the Lead (as Cena was busy winning LOL).
Catch- he was an actual Marine...and dishonorably discharged for trying to flee the ship.  No personal judgement, but it stopped him from being cast in place of Ted Dibiase Jr.
(Ted DiBiase Jr was Cast in his place and is now facing serious charges)

In 2015, Randy Orton was given a SECOND WWE Films Sequel to sink his teeth into- this one.

Is it good or did I waste $1?  To find out, read on...

A bad guy- Wes Studi- is doing all sorts of bad stuff, like having bad people bet on how fast 2 homeless folks will die when you poison them.

That's...definitely not kosher.

A Bail Enforcement Agent- Randy Orton- goes to bring him in, but a fight breaks out.

He accidentally kills Studi (who dies within the first 10 minutes, but gets a top credit) and is subsequently given bail for the accidental manslaughter.

He goes back home to work with his Dad, who is a Talking Cat?!?...I mean, Eric Roberts.

Randy becomes a Tow Truck Driver, which gets him an honest living and the attention of some ladies shot like they're in a Michael Bay Film.

However, the 2nd-in-Command for Studi takes over and sets a strange plan in motion.

He threatens to kill all of Orton's buddies from the Bail Bond Agency and sends them after him, betting whether or not each one will die.

His first pal attacks him in a Bar and Orton is forced to kill him...I mean, kind of.

He somehow breaks his neck by pressing it on the end of a pool table...

A second buddy tries to kill him, but first drives him out into the Desert.

His third buddy- a Sniper, as we established in the Intro- is now trying to kill him on a ridge.

We also get a random Scene where the Boss says that his version of Killers on PPV is better than in The Condemned.   Now we're a Sequel!

He keeps trying, but Orton is helped out by his 4th buddy.

They get away from one location, but must survive a second shootout.

Thankfully, his Dad arrives to help!
He's already got way more screen time than the last time I saw him.

As we reach the hour mark, Orton fends off his final buddy- an Explosives Expert- but is then shot by the Sniper.  He's persistent!

The gun has been blowing up trucks, RVs and the front half of a lady (see a future Poor Bastards of Cinema)!

Can he survive?

Oh yeah, of course.  Why would you think otherwise?

He has a big face-off with the bad guy- who put himself into the game to get the payout- for the Finale.

Good wins. 
The End.

A Film with a decent setup, but...it gets really repetitive really fast.  
Sorry, Randy.

The Plot has potential- setting up his team and then pitting them against them- but doesn't do as much as you'd like with it.

He has a bunch of generic fights with some guys, hides from a Sniper and, eventually, has a decent showdown with the explosives guy.

I was honestly expecting more interesting Fight Scenes with Orton involved and at least one wrestling move thrown in.
In the last Film of his I covered, he back suplexed a guy...as an EMT.
No such luck here.

As far as Action Films go, it is kind of bland.  It tries to add some flourishes- like drone shots-, some explosions and lots of CGI muzzle flashes.

Acting wise, it is honestly pretty good.  I just wish that they had more to work with here, honestly.

Quality wise, it is better than the first Condemned.  Fun wise, it is way more generic.  Oh well.

Lastly, how come Orton's picture here- shown in the Intro- has a headshot of him after the second Fight Scene...

Next time, let me jump way back to the 1950s.  With the Internet 'enjoying' the newest War of the Worlds, how is the Original?  Stay tuned...

Immediate Response: The Naked Gun (2025)

 As a fan of the original Trilogy (and Police Squad), there was lots to live up to here.

Did this (technically a) Sequel deliver?

The Good

* The Plot is a fun update of the formula and uses jokes in the style of the original Films.

* Neeson commits fully to the insanity of his Character and the silly jokes/bits they give him.

* Anderson is a good addition as the new Priscilla Presley, playing a new character with a hint of the previous Heroine.

* Her Jazz Number is almost worth the ticket price.

* The Film especially hits if you've seen enough of the post-Taken Films that Neeson did, since it satirizes the over-the-top bravado and action of them.

* A great 'Weird' Al Cameo.  No SPOILERS for when it happens.

* The Film has a few bits that are so prolonged and strange that I kind of want to see more of them.  I'm looking at you, Snowman!

The Bad

* The humor is so dumb and so silly that it may not work for you.

* They introduce the son of Nordberg (OJ's Character) and then he's never seen again.  Weird.

* The Plot oddly reminds me of a Spy Film involving a King and his Man.  Weird.

* The fact that they had to shoot Cody's Scene all from one angle to not show his stupid neck tattoo.  No offense, Cody.

All in all, the Film is really dumb, really fun and a good update for the Franchise.

Will we see more?

Tubi Thursday: Spellbinder (1988)

 A Film that proves that love truly is magical...but is it safe?

Let's find out...

A Lawyer (Steven Weber) is living alone and looking for love.

He wouldn't start an Airline with his Brother yet.

Anyone but Glenn Quagmire remember 'Wings?'

Him and his friend are leaving the Gym one night and see a man tormenting a woman (Kelly Preston).

They come to her aid and scare him off.

She goes home with him and performs a magic healing ritual on him...and falls asleep.

Witches- am I right?

Where does it go from here?

Love- naturally.

They both fall for each other, even as she is coy about her past.

Who cares?  It is love!

Of course, a strange guy is following him, before the guy from earlier kills him.

A woman confronts Weber and, when Preston is told about it, she flees.

He ends up talking to a Detective (Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa), learning about the dead guy and getting warned about a Cult.

He reunites with Preston and she reveals that the Cult is after her.

Why?
Well, she's worth more to them dead than alive.

Can she survive?  To find out, stream it now.

A Film that is pretty ambitious and mostly gets by on atmosphere.

If you really break it down, the Plot is pretty silly.

A Lawyer falls for a Witch and must fend off a Cult to save her.
That old chestnut.

What makes it work is the Acting, the Music and the Scenery.
It is silly, but they make it feel pretty real.
The credit really goes to Weber, Preston and Composer Basil Poledouris.

I won't SPOIL the Ending.  I will say that it was a little bit disappointing, but nothing to get all hot and bothered over...

A Film that holds up pretty well as a fun, self-contained Horror Story.  It's just a shame that it doesn't break any new ground.

'60s Fun: The Green Slime (1968)

 A Film that sounds like Satire, but is 100% real.

This is The Green Slime, a 1968 Sci-Fi Film from Toei with a cult reputation.  Does it live up to the sort of hype?

The Plot involves a mission to Space, a strange discovery and the only thing worse than having horse flies everywhere- aliens!

Are they silly or scary?

The titular substance is a key to the Plot.
There's also lots of really silly, seriously done melodrama.

A trio of Writers (and Tom Rowe) brought us this Film and they worked on such Films as The Wild, Wild Planet, The War of the Planets and War Between the Planets (which is not the same Film).

Is it just serious enough to work?
To find out, read on...

An Astronaut- played by a guy who really wants to be Roger Moore- is assigned on a life or death mission.

A planetoid is flying towards Earth and he's the man for the job.

He has to dock at and deploy from a Space Station (the 1960s equivalent of the ISS) in Earth Orbit.

As luck would have it, the guy running the Station is a guy he has a predisposed problem with (Richard Jaekel).

Drama!

He goes up with a crew- including Jaekel- to the planetoid and take samples.

Time is running out, but you should stop to pick up some slime samples!

They blow it up- which seems like a minor thing- and fly away.

Back on the Station, they decontaminate...but it doesn't catch the titular slime.

The slime grows into creatures that look a bit like Daleks (out of the armor), the Cyclops from Contamination and maybe even Shuma-Gorath.

They absorb electricity and can zap you to death with a touch!

The Base has to do with an outbreak of the Aliens, as they regenerate from a few drops of titular green liquid.

Time for a lockdown- boot up Zoom!

The Aliens are hard to wrangle, but they do their best.

They can get them to smaller areas of the Station, but it is not easy.

How bad is it?  They are using a Dutch Angle!

The Station is emptied out, save for a small contingent.

Not Roger Moore agrees to stay behind to launch it- now covered on the outside by tiny Aliens.

Jaekel helps out, but dies in the process, ending their beef.

The Station crashes into Earth's atmosphere and then abruptly explodes.

It is a sad, but also heroic ending.

A Film that is just serious enough to work for this kind of thing.

The Writers and Producers treat this whole thing as 100% serious.  That's the key thing.

This Plot has roving tentacle monsters that eat electricity.

This one is way too easy to make silly.
Because they act like this is a serious Film about serious things is why it works.

It is full of melodrama and serious faces.
I can't stay at mad you, silly Film.

How is this not on Svengoolie yet?  I blame licensing rights.  I need to wave my finger at whoever is keeping this off of MeTV.

Speaking of a finger, this one was co-written by Batman's true creator- Bill Finger!

Next up, I have to do a Birthday Review for the first time in a while.  Will this one make me hear voices?  Stay tuned...

Shudder Day: Monster Island (2025)

 As it turns out, Monster Movies set in WWII aren't quite as uncommon as I thought.

Granted- 2 in 5 Years is not THAT many.

Regardless, here's a different one...

In this one, two Prisoners on a Japanese Ship escape before it is taken out via torpedos.

The men- an American and a Japanese man- are chained together and don't fully understand each other.

They manage to work together to break the chain connecting them together.

Now they just need to wait for rescue...

...which may not come soon enough.

This Island, you see, has a big, buff Gill Man (of sorts) living on it.

It is hungry.

They get some company on the Island...briefly as the Creature makes itself known.

As long as they stick together, they have a (slim as Pickens) chance to survive.

Too bad they both just got separated.

Uh oh.

To find out what happens, stream it now.

An enjoyable little Creature Feature- nothing more, nothing less.

This one has a simple selling point- Men vs. Monster.
Gotcha.

If you want more, you're out of luck.

This one does feature two strong Characters and (thankfully) not a bunch of annoying people.  Two strong Characters make you want them to succeed.

With a small Cast and a single Monster, this one can focus on what matters.  No filler.

This one is an enjoyable throwback Thriller with a cool Monster and people you want to survive.

Naturally, someone made a Fake AI Generated Image Trailer for it.

Killer Croc?

A Film that delivers exactly what it promises and not much else.  The Monster looks great- no question.

Streaming Standard: Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

 Any trip where I stay in a Motel requires me to watch a Movie.
I was only in one for a single night, but I still found time for this...

Ms. Moretz plays a woman who hops a ride during WWII out of New Zealand.

She has vague, but firm orders and a mysterious parcel that nobody is allowed to open.

The guys- save one- treat her like dirt, sticking her down in the rear gun canopy.

It's basically like sitting in a see-through canopy while you look DOWN at the Ocean.

They soon find out that she can hear them on the in-plane Radio.

One of them is Byron from VLDL.

She spots something, but they don't believe it.

She's a dame...a broad...a chick with a bad wing.

Even when she spots a Japanese Zero- and saves them- they still don't believe her.
Why?

Well, she just spotted a Gremlin, which is basically a giant bat/rat monster here.

Nobody believes in them, since The Twilight Zone didn't come out until 1959 (and the Episode you're thinking about is from 1963).

Can she convince them of the threat before it is too late?

What is the secret of what she's transporting?

Oh yeah and what exactly is the difference between a 'dame' and a 'broad?'

To find out the answer to 2 of the 3 questions, stream it now (on Netflix at time of writing).

A very enjoyable and fresh Film.  I'm happy to be surprised!

The Film isn't the most original Film in the World- obviously- but does a mix of things you don't see all that often.

How often do you get Period Horror Films- let alone ones that aren't set in the 1970s?

Early in the Film, they really deal with the Sexism of this Era, especially in a group that can be truly toxic in their masculinity.  It doesn't shy away from it.

Once it becomes more of an Action Film and Creature Feature, it keeps the same Themes.

Does it get a bit silly at times?  Yes.
Do I still love it?  Kind of, yeah.  If not more for it.

Shadow is a Film of two parts.  You may like one more than the other, but they were both interesting/fun to me.

Besides, any Film with animated foreshadowing is good in my book.

A Film that puts a new spin on a familiar- if forgotten- creature.  How much you like the Film will depend on how you feel about the transition about halfway through.