Ghostly Import: J-oke'l (La Llorona)- Curse of the Weeping Woman

Hola, me amigos.  Now that I've expended a good 50% of my good Spanish, let's dig into today's Film- J-ok'el: La Llorona- Curse of the Weeping Woman.  This 2007 Horror Film has some Mexican origins, but also some strong ties to the States.  In a nutshell, they got some American Actors to help sell it, but otherwise tried to make it authentic.  Hey, if Ron Perlman can be in Spanish-Language Films, why not?!?  What kind of Mexican name is that of our Director- Benjamin Williams?  Oh, that's not his name, you say, IMDB?  His actual name is Roberto Carlos Morales Vergara, it seems.  That's...quite a change.  Is it better than Vincent Dawn or Lewis Coates though?  Our Stateside connections here are Dee Wallace and Tom Parker (not the Colonel).  The former has a lot of good Films to her credits- like The Howling- but also alot of shit ones- The Eden Formula.  I'm not going to harp on 'working Actors' all the time, plus she's apparently a nice lady.  She's still in this Film though, so my leniency only goes so far.  Parker is someone I'm not familiar with, but he did apparently do a Travel Show about South America the same year as this one.  The Film's Plot- a missing Sister (In Law) brings a man to Mexico to find her.  Without his Mother's help or that of the Police, can he save the day?  To find out, read on...

A man (Parker) travels to Mexico when he's told that his Sister-in-Law disappeared from her home in Mexico.

His Mother lives there, but she's shutting him out.  Why so serious?

Our Hero gets no help from La Policia and can't find out who took her, but this lady has a theory.

J-oke'l is apparently a woman's Spirit who shows up when kids are troubled and kidnaps them.  Is this the Mexican Import Version of The Lady in Black?

With nobody else on his side, he teams up with a local woman, in spite of their conflicts.  Can they solve the case?

Given this Film's Budget (reportedly $500,000), you'll have to make do with a veil being waved in front of the camera for our ghost.

As things get worse, our Hero gets temporarily locked up and sees J-oke'l in the Street.  Can he find her/it?

 Eventually, he finds where J-oke'l has been hiding, albeit only after his friend's son goes missing.  Now begins the depressing final events...

First, all of the kids are dead.  No happy ending for you!

Next, it turns out that Wallace is actually the culprit and our Hero is forced to kill her.  Joy.

Lastly, at the Cemetery with our mourning Heroes, the real J-oke'l appears.

Literally no hope at all, huh?  Alright.  The End.

Ghostly non-fun!  This Film sure is bleak.  This Film sure can be tedious at times.  This Film sure is...not that interesting.  Wow- a triple threat!  Hell, this Film is more depressing than the realization that 2/3rds of ECW's Triple Threat group is now dead!  The Story is pretty simple and there's really not much to it.  Parker doesn't believe in anything and then he does.  The woman is optimistic that they can win and they don't.  Wallace seems crazy and...is, apparently.  I want to say more about these kind of low-budget Horror Films.  When they are good, I'll praise them.  When they aren't, well, I'll just be that guy making fun of them.  The thing had promise.  A man out of his element, working a personal case and confronting his demons.  These are all good ideas and could make a good Film.  As a whole, however, the Film falters.  It wastes much time on a Sub-Plot with the woman's ex-Husband as a red herring.  Nobody is fooled!  The language barrier works at times, but mostly just makes us non-Spanish speakers read.  I have no problem with that, really, but others might.  It is kind of like how Tom Hanks' Character speaks German in Bridge of Spies, but they chose *not* to give us Subtitles most of the time.  Did that help?  Ultimately nothing here is that impressive, scary or immersive.  It isn't a terrible Film- just not a terribly-interesting one.  It does have great Lighting though...

Next up, a Rare Flix feature from New Concorde.  While it has no Island or Planet, this Raptor sure is...Stock Footage.  Stay tuned...

Zombie Crap?: The Lords of Salem

It's always fun to meet up with old enemies.  For the record, Rob Zombie has made some films that people like.  I'm not one of those people, mind you, but I know that some people do like them.  I know people that love his films House of 1,000 Corpses and the Devil's Rejects.  I even know someone who *likes* the original Halloween and how it focuses so much on Michael Meyers as 'a person.'  I have yet to meet anyone that defends Halloween II, but that's besides the point.  Certain Austrians (who shall remain nameless) feel that Mr. Zombie works best when he does original projects.  I agree.  I don't think he's actually MADE one yet though is the thing.  For me, all of Zombie's work has been 'homages' to stuff from the 1970's and very little new has been brought to the table.  That has not changed (IMHO) with his latest film: The Lords of Salem.  Rob- I can call you 'Rob' right?-, you saw Rosemary's Baby.  Most people have, in fact.  The difference is that we didn't waste over $1 Million making it again, only with Witches.  He's even dipping into his own works for this film, as Ken Foree is playing a Radio D.J. right out of the 1970s in the same way he played a similar-looking guy in Halloween (2007).  Speaking of which, why isn't this film set in the 1970's?  Everyone dresses like it is, the film's main characters are popular Radio D.J.s and modern-technology plays very little role in the story.  Instead, it's a bunch of people doing all of this 'ironically' and it just distracted me.  The film has a lot of good people in it, so I'm willing to give it some leeway.  It also STARS Sherri-Moon Zombie, so I'm going to give it quite a bit less.  To see if Zombie can outdo Paul W.S. Anderson in 'wife-worship Cinema,' read on...

The film begins with footage of a bunch of ugly, old Witches dancing around by a fire.  If you like this footage, it (and scenes like it) make up approximately 1/4 of the film.

If you don't, well, tough shit.

This is our heroine: Sherri-Moon Zombie.  She's a Radio D.J. who is the descendant of the Preacher that killed the group in the past.

This shot sums my problem with her quite well.  Pointless dreads, hipster apartment (note the Melies Moon on the wall) and her lackadaisical attitude.  She's the worst kind of heroine: a complacent one.

Speaking of problems, how about 'wish fulfillment' by way of Casting?  This guy is the film's secondary lead and he looks...exactly like Rob Zombie.  Wow.

It's one thing to rip off an iconic film, but it's another to be proven to be so lazy that you actually write yourself into your own Screenplay!

Here's the gist of what The Lords of Salem is.  First, Sherri mopes about and wanders with no direction.

Next: something weird happens (be it random ghoul walking by, evil zombie doctors or this demon guy walking a goat).

Finally, the scene ends abruptly and nothing has actually happened.

Seriously, Zombie pulls the 'something weird happened...but it didn't' card about five times in 90 minutes.  What do you think of that, Bruce Davison?

Random cameo by Michael Berryman and Sid Haig.  The same scene was shot with Richard Lynch as the Pastor, but apparently his scenes couldn't be used and were re-shot.

Listen, I like both guys, but what does this add?  They have no lines, so why bother?  Why?  At least Lynch was supposed to have lines...

As the film nears its climax, the evil forces continue to work on Sherri-Moon and her faux hipster artwork.  Her response: mope, cry and do drugs.

Who said that there were no good roles for women these days?

I won't SPOIL the Ending for anyone, but don't expect any big surprises.  You've seen this movie before.  The End.

Look, I don't hate Rob Zombie.  The guy has made some good music and I do appreciate his love for classic cinema.  That said, his love for it tends to get in the way of a lot of his other efforts.  The Haunted World of El Superbeasto was chock full of Cameos by Horror Film Characters- including having the Wedding party featuring Dr. Phibes!-, but still wasn't good.  He made a character based on the robot from The Phantom Creeps...but he's a one (bad) joke character.  Hell, even the name Doctor Satan is from an old film serial.  I could go on and on with this, but you get the idea.  If you strip away all of what he's 'paid homage to' and/or ripped off, you wouldn't have much left.  He changed the Satanic Cult into a group of Witches.  Do we give out awards for that?  I don't.  Sorry if you liked this movie, but I just feel that it's as pointless as this shot below...

Next up, a 'glossy' Remake of a film that deserves a lot more praise than it gets.  With the original Star long-dead, can Frodo fill in for him?  Stay tuned...

Lance Henriksen Week: Abominable

Are you ready...for something that's actually not bad.  Today's film is the first of three Sasquatch films featuring Lance Henriksen.  I say 'featuring' since he's barely in this one, the star of the second and is a supporting player in the third.  Can his lack of presence in this movie help it or hurt it?  I love Lance, but, as you saw yesterday, he doesn't always make good film choices.  Hell, he's in three Sasquatch films- two of which were made in the same year!  Unfortunately for this film, it's decent level of quality will just hurt the other films by comparison.  Sucks to be you, the next two films!  Basically, here's the gist: a Sasquatch wants to kill and eat people.  Straight and to the point.  To find out what happens, read on...

In the Intro, a couple- one of whom is Dee Wallace from The Howling- go outside to see their deer killed and find giant footprints.  They go back inside, one of whom never appears again.  Dubious writing to start, admittedly.

When the plot officially starts, a hurt guy and his male nurse- tee hee- go up to the former's cabin.  At the Market, they meet Jeffrey Combs, who is deep into character.  Damn!

At the Cabin next door, a bunch of young ladies are there for a last weekend with their engaged friend.  Hello, Sasquatch bait!

In a strong contender for Most Awesomely-Random Scene Ever, the husband from the intro goes out in the Woods with Combs and Henriksen.  The latter proceeds to explain the concept of The Darwin Awards to the latter two.

Unfortunately, he runs off, finds the first victim and they all die.  Boo!

Back in the actual plot, the remaining young women are being targeted by the the Sasquatch.  To be critical, the movie is vague about time, making me wonder just how long the first woman was missing and why her friends didn't notice.

Friend 1: 'Susan hasn't called in six weeks- maybe something is wrong.'
Friend 2: 'She's probably just in the bathroom.'

In more random casting, the local Sheriff is played by the late Paul Gleason (of Breakfast Club fame) and his Deputy is Phil Morris aka The Martian Manhunter from Smallville.  They don't do much, until they decide to show up for the End

The Sasquatch revs into second gear and takes out most of the cannon fodder...I mean, women.  One of them gets a pretty vicious one too!

After a long wait, the Sasquatch can finally be seen in full.  The mask is much improved over, say, Primal, but doesn't hold up to long viewings.  That said, they usually don't do that.  Kudos.

I won't SPOIL too much about the final course of events, as the tension is handled pretty well overall.  I will show you this kind-of-silly ending scene though.  The End.

I was really expecting to hate this more.  This film is not great, but I'd be willing to say that it has some darn good moments.  There are some very creative kills and attack scenes.  For example, the 'lady pulled through the window' scene is not used too often.  There's even a moment where a lady learns to not stand on the floor above a Sasquatch.  Overall, the movie makes a good use of tension by way of their lead.  He has survived a bad fall and lost his wife & now comes face-to-face with the beast.  Before the explanation of the accident about forty minutes in, I was expecting him to be a survivor of an attack.  That would have been silly, I admit. There are some bad moments in the movie, but they are mostly the scenes with the male nurse.  He's not a terrible actor, but his role is just to get in the way.  This is apparently his debut film, so I shouldn't be too hard on him.  The bigger upsides and downsides of the movie are the random asides.  I love Lance's scene with Jeffrey, but it does come the hell out of nowhere!  It makes me wish that Lance could have been in it more too.  I guess he was too busy actually starring in a Sasquatch film made the same year- see tomorrow's review.  Overall, I recommend this film to fans of low-budget, creative horror.  It's quite a bit better than you might think.  Take us away, snow on only one side of the road...

Next up, the second Sasquatch film...which is called Sasquatch.  This can't nearly be as good, can it?  Stay tuned...

A Review in Pictures: The Eden Formula

Seriously, you've got to see this crap!  This 2006 film features cheesy acting, a silly story and special effects that would have looked like crap in 1995!  The plot is completely goofy and involves a couple odd coincidences coming together.  Who's on tap for B-D Movie Star Checklist?  Jeff Fahey!  Tony Todd!  Dee Wallace!  What kind of plot do we have?  It's a mix of a 'monster on the loose' film, a revenge film, a crime film and random stock footage.  I should also point out that the title makes very little sense, even if you force the narrative to make it do so.  In addition, I want you to know how I discovered this film.  While scouring YouTube for silly clips, I found a video entitled 'The Worst Special Effects Ever.'  While that's not true- I still consider it to be either Feeders or Birdemic- this one is pretty bad.  I'll link it at the end of the review for you, as to not SPOIL anything just yet.  Go with me on a journey as we attempt to decipher...

* At a lab, Jeff Fahey and Dee Wallace have created a dinosaur.  Why a T-Rex?  According to Wallace's character, it's 'sexier.'  No, really.

* As you can see, the creature has a love of people and badly-composited shots.

* It also leaves a mess everywhere it goes.  That's what eating bums will do to you though- trust me!

* In one laughable scene, one of the villains drives away in his car.  This abruptly turns into what is clearly '70s stock footage!  Why?!?

* He crashes into a power station and dies, but only after the dinosaur apparently scares him.  Good- that makes this whole bit relevant now!

* Clearly the strain of this shit is really wearing poor Dee out.  "I was in 'The Howling,' dammit!!!"

* In the finale, the dinosaur comes back to the lab for one last showdown.  But first, he has to do something really silly...

* Who said white dinosaurs can't jump?  That will show you...

* No, this is not the dinosaur flying away from a rocket fart.  However, what actually happens here is just about silly.  If you want to find out, watch the film...or this clip.  Do watch the film though- it's a riot!

Holy crap- this sucks!  The plot of this movie is just a bit silly.  Since I didn't cover it much in the actual review, I'll give you a basic rundown.  Fahey and Wallace are targeted by Todd as part of his revenge scheme.  In the process of trying to steal the titular formula, he accidentally sets the dinosaur free.  The narrative splits pretty randomly between the dinosaur killing nameless pedestrians and the Die Hard-style action in the lab.  So by giving you two movies, this should be a good deal- right?  Wrong.  Both of them suck and it really just feels like the Director can't make up his mind.  Of course, this is the Director of Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College.  The appeal/downfall of this movie are the Special Effects, which appear to be cobbled together with a use of hand puppets, some miniatures, a doll or two & some terrible CG.  Kudos for at least mixing your use of CG up a bit, I guess.  Unfortunately, all of the methods used are pretty crappy.  It's easy to see why this guy worked on Carnosaur and Carnosaur 3.  Honestly, as dumb as the film is, I encourage you all to see it.  Is it something to own?  Maybe.  It's definitely something that you have to see.  If you love '90s Special Effects in a film made in 2006, this is your movie.  Just don't tell this guy about them ever making a sequel...

Next up, The Asylum is back to haunt my dreams in the first of 6 movies this month!  First up, there's Snakes on a Train- sigh.  Stay tuned...

Furry People: Critters/Critters 2: The Main Course

Well, since I'm late about this, we get A DOUBLE FEATURE!  I hope that you're happy, because I sure am.

The Critters movies are not forefront in people's minds, although they were quite successful in their own time.  Looking back, not so many people care.  In spite of that, I am going to close out this series.  It's been nearly a year in the making, but let's find out just how we got to being in outer space via Critters 4.  I will say that the films do maintain a minor bit of continuity, although they barely cling to it like a car sliding down a building wall.  The movies are all built around the eponymous monsters wreaking havoc, although their powers and looks vary from film to film.  They always smash things up and eat people though.  Let's not stall any longer and burrow into...

Critters

The film begins in space, which actually sort of fitting.  Not that I think that they planned it at that way, mind you.  A mysterious group of aliens escape from a prison asteroid and head towards planet Earth.  You guys ever feel like hitting up Jupiter instead?  We literally just cleaned up after Nukie!  A pair of alien bounty hunters with wads of gum for heads are sent to retrieve them as the film cuts to Grover's Bend.  A farm family is living just fine out there, although the younger son and daughter fight and the couple's slightly-unintelligent helper is a bit weird.  We learn that the daughter is bringing company to dinner that night in the form of...Billy Zane with hair?  Well, you have to start somewhere!  The dad also has a big bowling tournament that night, in addition to all of the hijinks in town and the sheriff (M. Emmet Walsh) trying to keep order.  You don't care about that, though- you want to see the creatures.  Unfortunately, you don't 'see' a lot of them, although they are around.  After killing the deputy (see- I told you I was innocent of that!), they make it to the farm and kill Zane during a make-out session in the barn.  That will teach you!  The family is trapped after the things wreck the truck and cut the power.  They also have quills that they can shoot out, although the producers forget that randomly throughout the series.

The good news is that the bounty hunters are here to save the day- and they're packing heat!  The reason for their gumball heads is because they can morph their faces, leading to some odd comedy that is a bit overdone here.  It works better in the sequel, at least.  They smash up a lot of the town before even getting to the farm!  The critters themselves prove to be quite formidable, constantly attacking our heroes and taking out the parents with their quills.  The monsters can also merge into larger, deadlier critters.  The problem: you never really see it.  For all its faults, The Deadly Spawn managed to give you a human-sized creature on screen several times.  Fun fact: this movie came three years after that one!  The cavalry finally arrives and begins to...blow up the house.  Is that your idea of helping?  They do manage to kill most of the critters, although they get in their spaceship for back-up.  If you are wondering how they operate the controls, don't.  In the battle, the whole damn house gets blown up!  The next morning, the good aliens hit a button on a remote that causes the house to rebuild itself.  The dumb helper goes along with the aliens, figuring that he can find direction in his life too.  This happy ending is ruined by some sequel bait involving a group of eggs in the barn though.  Hurray.

The second film begins with a bit of retconning.  You see, in the ensuing years after the incident, the family moved out of the farm and to another town.  This was due to the son's claims of 'critters,' which brought a lot of bad notoriety to the town.  Around this time, the son is coming to visit his grandmother...who was not mentioned in the first movie at all.  Retcons for all!  An opportunistic loser takes the eggs from the barn and paints them in time for Easter.  In a bit of lazy movie science, the eggs hatch quickly due to being put near a hot pipe, since the cold of the air kept them unborn.  Yeah, I buy that!  Our young hero does not endear himself very well in town, even getting beaten up by a bully.  Things look up when he meets a girl from his school- not in Critters- and gets a whole romantic subplot set up.  When a couple of dead bodies show up, they go to see the sheriff...who is now played by Barry Corbin.  Did you think that we would not notice that, guys?  Anyhow, he retired...or something and won't help.  Fortunately, the wacky farm-hand and the aliens are here to, you guessed it, blow things up.  We get the face transformation gag again, but the farm-hand pulls out a Playboy in time to stop the alien from taking his face again.  That's...odd, movie.

Unfortunately for our heroes, the townsfolk are really hesitant to believe in the creatures.  Even when the new Sheriff's body crashes through the church window, they doubt the authenticity.  They show up to blow the crap out of the diner run by Eddie Deezen (WHY?!?), giving us lots of explosions and gooey stuff.  The monsters flee, but are hiding out in the city.  One of the two bounty hunters is killed off-screen, causing the male-ish one to freak out and lose his face.  All of the survivors are holed up in the church, but, thankfully, help arrives in the form of the old Sheriff, who just sort of decides to fight again.  Our heroes come up with a plan: lure the critters to a building (one filled with meat) and blow it up.  This works, thanks to the random intervention of the face-shifting alien.  Apparently he can turn into a critter too.  That...will never come up again, don't worry.  Unfortunately, enough critters survive to make a giant critter ball and rampage through town!  Our good heroes try to stop the ball with their truck, but don't make a dent in it.  Quick shout-out to the one guy who gets run over/eaten, by the way.  The farm-hand gets in the bounty hunters' ship and crashes it into the ball, killing both!  In the morning, however, he inexplicably shows up alive and decides to stay as the new Sheriff, while the alien takes his face.  Make note of these facts for later.  The End.

There is a major contrast between these two movies and it is hard to deal with.  The first film treats this whole thing as a serious effort to make real horror.  The second film embraces all the craziness and is a much more fun movie, even if it is not any smarter.  I laugh a bit at the Chiodo Brothers wanting a credit for creating the Critters Effects when you see so little of them.  As far as the second film goes, that is not the case.  Honestly, the first one is worth a rental, but if you are going to actually want to re-watch any of the films in the series I've covered thus far, it is Critters 2.  It is the film that the first one should have been, re-casting or not.  Why does this always seem to happen?  It is the exact same thing with Ghoulies and Ghoulies II.  If you can't make the fun, effects-filled movie you want, don't make one!  I can appreciate you getting a bigger budget, but just skimp on the bad stuff altogether!

Up next, I tackle the final piece in the Critters puzzle.  Do I get my big finish?  I sure hope so.  Stay tuned...

Zombie Crap: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

First and foremost, I really don't care for Rob Zombie. When he was making music in the 90s, it was alright. It was never something that I got all that excited about, but it wasn't terrible. All of a sudden, he becomes a movie director and remakes The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, only he calls it The House of 1,000 Corpses. Also, as an aside, I counted far less than 1,000 there, Rob! Next, he remade Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, but called it The Devil's Rejects. He has followed this up with remaking Friday the 13th under the title of Halloween and Halloween II. So, needless to say, my expectations were not high when I read about his cartoon movie based on a comic book that I had never read. Was I right or surprisingly-wrong? Find out in my review of...

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Our movie begins with a masked man acting as a casting director for a film. He shamelessly oggles the woman with big breasts, while rejecting such broad celebrity parodies as Roseanne, Jeaneane Gorafalo and...Katherine Hepburn? Dude, she's been dead for years by the time you started making this movie (2007), so how is that topical? Anyhow, his film turns out to be a porno, giving us our first- but not last- shot of giant boobs drawn in Flash. During a scene full of bad dialogue, two of the women involved turn into monsters (one a vampire and one a werewolf), but they get killed. This brings us to our title screen, but my hope is pretty much dead. We are introduced to the rest of the cast, none of whom exactly have any positive character traits. The evil Dr. Satan is a cross between Dr. Thaddeus Venture and a devil that you find on hot sauce labels. Along with his forcibly-intelligent ape sidekick (not named Ape), he plans to find a marked girl, marry her and become all-powerful. How is she marked? With a big '666' on her ass, of course. With this film, were you expecting anything else?

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In addition to Superbeasto, we also have a heroine. She is his adopted sister, wears skin-tight leather and has an eye-patch. She fights all sorts of monsters alongside her robot Murray, who is sexually-attracted to her, but she ignores his 'needs'. Remind me again why this is supposed to be endearing in any way? Throughout the film, the narrative will simply stop for a scene of her fighting Nazi zombies. Not that I have anything against the killing of Nazi zombies, but this adds nothing to the story. You can leave some things out when adapting an entire series, Rob! Superbeasto falls for a foul-mouthed stripper (Rosario Dawson, doing a fairly racist accent), but she has the mark! The ape kidnaps her, but she leaves a trail of half-smoked cigarettes leading up to the villain's lair. She is initially upset, but changes her tune when she realizes that she would get half of Dr. Satan's fortune. Mind you, she is still a filthy whore. Our hero calls his half-sister for help, which prompts her to come to the bar and shoot/beat up every random horror character who has a cameo. By the way, cameos are the substitutes for jokes here- enjoy!

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It all escalates and leads to a big scene where our heroes try to stop the wedding. They bicker the whole time and work too late. They also do a scene ripping off Carrie, which is followed by a song entitled 'Why did you rip off Carrie?' That does not make it alright! Dr. Satan turns into a giant version of himself and begins to wreak havoc. This, naturally, is put over the 'wreaking havoc' song. Superbeasto and his sister challenge him, which leads to Satan revealing his deep-seated love for the girl. Cue the pointless and silly catfight between the sister and the whore, which the latter loses. Angered by her constant complaining, Satan stomps the woman, which undoes the power he gained. This is mentioned in the Magic Journal, which prompts our hero to take the time & complain about the film's bad writing. For once, I agree with you! The whole thing ends happily, with Dr. Satan beaten up, the ape getting the whore, the robot getting the girl and Superbeasto singing 'Working for the Weekend.' Okay, it's not all happy for us. The End.

*

This movie sucks for so many reasons. It is full of pop culture references, but no real jokes. Oh look, the monster from This Island Earth is the Priest. That's neat, but is it a joke? No! Even having two cameos by Dr. Phibes himself (once as the organist at the wedding) can save this movie. I get that it is tongue-in-cheek, but it is painfully so. That thing is in there so hard that I can taste my ear on the other side! Some of the voice acting is not bad and it is full of good performers (i.e. Tom Kenny and Harlan Williams). On the flip side, it features Tom Papa doing a terrible Will Ferrell impression (methinks that they wanted another actor...) and Sherri Moon Zombie (of course!) as the sister, doing the worst and most nasally voice I have ever heard. Picture the voice of Batman's Harley Quinn, only done by someone who can't voice-act. The worst part is that there are so many other terrible jokes that I passed over. Which is worse: the cat with giant metal balls (really) or the song during the cat-fight about how 'it is okay to masturbate to cartoons?' You decide- but we all lose. Your opinion may differ than mine, but, simply by having a blog, mine is more important.

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Next on the agenda, Indonesia's time is up. It is time to review a film that has been a long time coming. Boy meets girl, girl becomes harbinger of evil and girl shoots up cops. Stay tuned...