Rare Flix: H.G. Wells' The Food of the Gods

I hope you don't like rats.  Today's film has somewhat of a dubious reputation among those who have seen it.  For those of you who don't know, I'll take you on a short trip down memory lane.  Bert I. Gordon (his initials being BIG- ha ha) got famous in the '50s for movies about giant monsters smashing around.  He got in good after the U.S. release of Godzilla, carving himself a niche.  As his career wound down in the '70s, he tried some new things- some better than ever.  For this film, he tried something controversial- killing and hurting animals.  This film features scenes of rats being shot with pellet/paint guns and nearly/definitely being drowned.  Yeah, that happens.  If you take the 'No Animals were harmed in the Production of this Film' for granted, check this movie out.  As a bonus, the film stars Marjoe Gortner and features some slightly-silly optical effects.  To see which insects are transparent, read on...

The first sign of a dubious script- this credit.

The movie's plot involves a bunch of people being killed in the woods by giant creatures.  First up, semi-transparent mosquitoes.  They apparently ate the titular food...since the lady doesn't bother to close her windows when you have a batch of 'make animals giant food' in your house.

Marjoe loses a friend to the creatures and decides to come back.

By the way, is he a pro-football player or a College one?  He was 32 when the film was made, but they never elaborate on it.  What's up, movie?

All of this comes from a mysterious fount of liquid.  Might want to put a cage around this thing- I'm just saying.

No, they never explain why this exists.  Thanks for asking.

I believe that Cecil B. DeMille said once 'You haven't made a film until you've shot a few rats with pellet guns.'  I might be paraphrasing.

Look at this shot and then watch a film like Avatar.  Technology sure has grown a lot, hasn't it?

The rats surround the house and there appears to be no hope.  Nice matching of those two visuals- it's like Sin City for a second.

Marjoe manages to blow up a dam and take out most of the rats with water.  Try to ignore the rats that are 'swimming upside down (completely still),' won't you?

In the Epilogue, the titular food has gone down river, got drank by cows (who apparently don't grow) and ends up in milk.  Where will this lead?

Oh right- a crappy sequel that doesn't really relate to this film in any way.  The End.

I'm sorry, countless rats.  If you can get past the animal abuse, this is an interesting movie.  It makes some odd choices in the story department, right or wrong.  Our heroes aren't trapped on the island from the get-go.  Rather, they leave it and decide to come back to find out what happened.  That's interesting, even if it is a bit silly IMHO.  The problem here is that it's hard to get past all of the animal abuse.  They're shooting rats in the face and back with pellet guns.  They may or may not be shocking rates.  They are most assuredly drowning rats, unless they're known for laying upside down in water and not moving!  You can make an 'Animal Killing Free' version of Cannibal Holocaust, since the death is random and unnecessary.  Here, you would be cutting most of the action.  The bottom line: this movie is a bizarre, B-Movie trip.  If you can ignore the abuse of plague rats (I kid, I kid), you'll enjoy it more than this guy.

Next up, the first of five remaining films from the Midnight Horror Collection, Volume 2.  It's like a good movie...but not.  Stay tuned...

Forgotten Sequels: Gnaw: Food of the Gods, Part 2

Sequels are a tricky business. If you push them out too fast, you look desperate and cheap. Consider that auteur Jesus Franco made up nearly a dozen pseudonyms to cover up the fact that he pushed out four to five films a year. On the flip side, if you wait too long, the magic can be gone and nobody will care, i.e. Bad Boys II. Today's subject is the latter, a sequel ten years later to a film that needed none...

To fill in neophytes, the first film was about a mysterious ambrosia that got into the water supply and turned every animal huge. Famous former-minister Marjoe Gortner starred as a Football player (right!) who had to help save the day. I tell you all of this in spite of the fact that none of it matters. This is its own movie and only borrows the name and the concept. Ha ha!

This film ignores the 'ambrosia in the milk supply' finale of the first Film and just has some ambrosia loose somehow. A scientist at a local community college (they don't admit it, but it is) is experimenting on some rats. Why? A local woman has a kid that has begun to grow gigantic and needs his help. Duh. His girlfriend does not like the idea, but nothing can stand in the way of science! Faster than you can say 'Let's rip off the plot of Night of the Lepus,' some animal rights activists free the rats. However, the one with the ambrosia in him has grown large and kills one of the hippies.

In the wake of this incident, the movie follows into a really obvious pattern. Someone either tries to kill one of the rats (there are more now) or tries to do something that gets you killed in a slasher film. What follows is their bloody death at the hands of some fast editing and a puppet. Much like the Waxwork films, this is full of absurd 80's gore. Between these scenes, we get some bits with the doctor, some student and the 'I'll never listen to any warnings' authority figure. Yeah, he dies. They also slip in one of the most random and weird scenes of the entire decade...

*

For no reason whatsoever, the lead begins to have a strange dream. He pictures an unknown woman (the only one to sign the 'no nudity' waiver) coming in and wanting to screw him. Naturally, he obliges. Before you see too much, his limbs start to go at an enormous rate. No, not that one though. She naturally freaks out as he grows gigantic, thanks to really lame photography tricks. He wakes up and never mentions it. It's like a Big-Lipped Alligator moment in a way. Moving on...

The big finale of the film involves a big Swim Meet, a bunch of rats and the worst example of ignoring nature's rules for the sake of drama. To attack the people, the rats swim up through the sewers and into the pool. Say it with me, people: Ewww. Oh and it's horribly inaccurate in every way. What follows is a mix of bad model shots, bloody puppet attacks and digital insertion. It's all so fun and stupid. Lots of people die for no other reason save for the love of big school functions. I believe that is the 8th Deadly Sin. One of them even tries to eat our hero's girlfriend, but he saves the day with a gun. That will solve all of our problems! In the end, the Principal dies, the rats die and the survivors are alive. The End...or is it? No, it is.

This movie is bad in so many ways. However, it is very easy to laugh at its attempts at dread, terror and murder. Nothing is really done well, but it is not unprofessional like other films. If you enjoy bad 80s gore and blood, this is a very good film to recommend. It is still not as good was Waxwork and Waxwork II though.

Next up is the first entry in my new series called 'Bi-Polar Cinema.'  I'll kill you...i'm sorry, please forgive me.  Stay tuned...