Indy Phantom: Angel of Music

I see what you were going for, but you failed.  Today's film is Angel of Music, a strange attempt at ripping off a Dan Brown novel.  Worst of all: it reminds me of another bad, low-budget movie I watched recently.  That film: The Frankenstein Theory.  The premise is this: The Phantom of the Opera is real.  Not only that, but a Cult formed to keep the secret of the Phantom's love child.  Why?  How?  Who cares?  Apparently the film with through a number of big changes over the couple years it took to get made.  It was at one point going to be a Period Drama based on the Book.  I think that has already been made...several times.  They finally decided to make this 'Mystery' film, but even that was not the end.  Allegedly the final cut of the film was 83 minutes long at first.  According to IMDB, the film was 'too complicated for those who didn't read the book,' so they cut it down to 47 minutes.  That's right- 47 minutes.  Really sure of your work, huh?  Regardless of how long it is, the whole thing feels like someone's first attempt at making a film.  To see just how that goes, read on...

The film begins with a statement right away that you just have to either accept or not.  Here it is...

This guy is a Reporter attempting to prove this fact.  Why?  To get his wife to care about him again.

Seriously, just take her to Dinner or something!  Was this your best option?

He begins to search for the truth, going through a microfiche of blatant plot exposition.  It's just about as silly as the All-Exposition Website from The Black Dahlia.  This is what you've driven me to, movie- I'm referencing an Uli Lommel film!

Did I mention that they use terrible Green Screen Effects?  Oh yeah, this film was made in 2009 too.

As the investigation goes on, our hero gets a bit crazy and TOO invested in the tale.  He begins to even think that he IS The Phantom.  In a better film, I'd care.

Speaking of bad movies, this film also has a scene that reminds me of The Room.  They're actually outdoors, but you try not to think about it when you see this...

Eventually, we learn that the reason for his craziness is because he was dosed with some hallucinatory drugs by the Cult.  They don't stop him from finding out the truth- they just dick around with him.

I'm sorry, but how was this EVER kept a secret with people like you behind it.

In The End, the Cult just outright kills him.  Of course- the murder of an Investigative Journalist would draw no attention!  Throw in the murder of a blond lady and you definitely have something that nobody would DARE investigate.

Ooh, Sequel Bait?  No thanks.  The End.

This is a mystery best kept secret.  Look- I don't judge you for trying to make something new.  I just judge you fairly for making a bad movie.  Your movie looks cheap.  Your movie has a silly, badly-executed plot.  Your Green Screen Effects were very bad and distracting.  The biggest complaint: you didn't make me care.  Your movie was just not made/told in a way to make me interested in your characters or story.  I think that there is a good story that could be told about this.  While the whole idea of 'The Phantom of the Opera was real' is a bit silly. you could do something with it.  This, as I said, was not that movie.  It says something that even the head shot of your lead Actress is looking at you judgmentally...

Up next, a re-approach a crazy Japanese film from my collection in order to prepare for its sequel.  Zombies, Baseball and a Poison Bat called Poison Bat- oh my!  Stay tuned...

#4 With Opera: The Phantom Lover

The Music of the Night apparently translates into Mandarin!  Today's film is The Phantom Lover, yet another version of The Phantom of the Opera.  People must really see something in this story!  In the last four years, I've covered a few different versions of the tale, including one by Dario Argento, one with Robert Englund, one set in a Mall and one that's a Disco musical.  It's been almost four years since I've done a Phantom film.  Why the wait?  No reason, really.  I just haven't.  There are still a few juicy ones out there to cover, including a pseudo-sequel *not* written by Andrew Lloyd Webber.  Yeah, he made his own.  So what's unique about this film?  For one, this was made in China.  Secondly, it has a very operatic feel to it, making it a mid-point between stuff like the horror versions (i.e. Hammer's) and the Gerard Butler film.  This one is *very* pretentious and very arty.  Since it's too late to give it to Bob to review, I'll just dive right in...

The film has a main plot and lots of flashbacks.  They tint the flashback bits, which helps, but the DVD version is a bit washed out already.  So yeah, not easy to follow.

Basically, a new Theater troupe comes into town and buys up a vacant building with a history.

Thankfully, a mysterious and not-at-all suspicious man is there to help them.  I'm looking for a Phantom- have you see one?

Since this is an Opera, they do the equivalent of a Bollywood film and just stop to perform.  If I wanted to watch an Opera, I'd...just end things on my own, thank you.

As it turns out, this guy was a great Actor and got too close to this woman engaged to this rich guy's son.  They doused his face in acid and set the place ablaze.  Why not shoot him too while you're at it?

It all got covered up and he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling Opera Performers!

Actually, he did get away with it.  Oh, I see.

This Phantom guy looks totally trustworthy, right?  I mean, the Dr. Doom (movie version) outfit alone inspires trust.  In spite of all of this, he seems to have some sort of plan.

Not wanting to have his lady oggled by a SECOND lead in an Opera Company, the man's son goes on the offensive.  After he beats the lady in the streets, it's hard to imagine where my loyalties lie.

In a surprisingly-tame finale, the Phantom just kind of shows up and says 'Can we just leave in peace?'  'Well, I was trying to kill you five minutes ago, so..."

'Of course you can!  Leave in peace.  After all, my son is dead- at your hands.'

Seriously, that's it!  He just lets them leave and she apparently just died some time later.  The End.

Eh, it wasn't for me.  This is not a bad movie.  The big thing is that it just tries to be this big, romantic epic.  That's all well and good...for someone else.  I guess I should have expected this, to be honest.  As it is, it's a film that I recommend for people that go for it.  For non-Opera fans, there's some good performances, it's shot well and The Phantom looks mysterious and all.  Ultimately though, he's just some guy.  I didn't expect him to be some sort of Spy or Super-Villain, but him being some love-struck Opera Performer is kind of a letdown for me.  If you like the tone and the music, you'll like the film overall.  If you're a bigger fan of the Horror-styled versions, you will not be.  Like I said, it's by no means a bad movie.  It's just not my kind of movie.  I do have to laugh when the Menu just starts playing the Music though...

Next up, a film to consider for any of you planning to see White House Down.  Before he was blowing shit up, Roland Emmerich was making ghosts take over puppets!  Stay tuned...

Mask-Off!: Phantom of the Mall

I thought I was done with odd Phantom of the Opera films after Argento's Phantom, De Palma's disco Phantom and Robert Englund's turn as the man. Fortunately or unfortunately for you, I was wrong. A film emerged from the deep dark crevice onto the world of the DVD release market. It comes to us from the 1980s and was made as part of the last gasp of these low-budget horror films. Given the quality of this film, it is not a big surprise that these films disappeared until 1995's Scream. On the plus side, this film does its own take on the Phantom tale and does not involve time-travel/dreams. While it was made in the same year as the Englund film, it has its own motif. However, that motif is built around filming in a mall (the same one used in Chopping Mall and Terminator II). Is it good? Well, you'll just have to wait and see in my review of...

Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge

The film begins with the grand opening of a new mall. Sadly, this movie does not feature a cameo by the stars of Eating Raoul too. We also are introduced to a cute young woman who has gotten a job there, as has her friend. They meet up with a young male reporter, the Mayor (Loni Anderson) and their weird friend (Pauly Shore). Why did it have to be Pauly Shore?!? I'd take Frank Caliendo any day over Pauly Shore. Unfortunately, there is some chicanery going on in the bowels of the mall. A mysterious man has created his own little den and broken off part of a mask to wear. Why? We'll find out that later. In the meantime, there is some dark back-story involving our young heroine. We get a hint of it earlier, which is followed by some PG-13 sex that is *sigh* a dream. Or is it a remembrance of things past? Let's move on, before I start channeling Criswell's narration from Plan 9. At the mall, there are some guards that are Peeping Toms towards the woman in the changing rooms. Faster than you can say 'they stole this from Welcome to Spring Break,' one of them is killed and has his eyes gouged out. A creepy piano player meets a similar fate, although his has a more comical twist. The killer puts a cobra in the toilet, which proceeds to come up and bite him on the F-Sharp.

*

All while this is going on, the owner of the mall is keeping a lid on things. We get another sex dream,- change those sheets honey!- but this one ends in fire. Either you have mental problems or you were dating The Undertaker's dad. I wonder how many people are going to get that joke. Anyhow, the reporter proceeds to both woo her and find out the truth behind her story. You see, her boyfriend died in a fire after his parents refused to sell the land to the mall developers. Our heroine escaped, but remembers a man with an earring. In spite of this flimsy evidence, finding the culprit is easy, since he works at the mall now! You guys don't understand the concept of hiding evidence, do you? One silly chase scene later and our reporter hero has some evidence, but is also a target. The mysterious killer gets another victim, although this one did not actually commit a crime. Well, unless you consider working in a comically-large vent to be a crime. We get a ridiculous car chase thrown in as well, proving that this movie is going to try anything that might work. It's like a five-year old who is throwing a hissy fit, really. Incidentally, Ken Foree has a small, but wasted role here as a guard.

*

Finally, the truth about the events is revealed...in case you couldn't figure it out. The Phantom is really Eric, the young woman's boyfriend. We get the classic 'unmasking scene' rehashed here with some silly 80s make-up. His burns are really bad, but yet, he has survived without seeing a doctor for the last year. Good-bye, logic. His advances towards her are strong, but spurned. Why? She has fallen for the reporter, of course. This makes him mad and forces him to turn his attention to the reporter. Meanwhile, our comic relief character and our ancillary best friend are looking into the mall owner in some lovely filler. Despite being dumped in a pit with the same snake,- he must have worked for scale- our hero escapes and runs into our supporting losers, I mean, characters. The Mayor and the owner conspire to keep everything secret, but that falls through when The Phantom appears in their office. He makes short work of the former Mrs. Reynolds by throwing her through a window and impaling her on a giant glass ornament. We get a silly chase scene in the form of our heroine deciding to climb across a giant pole that is parallel to the ceiling, as opposed to THE DOOR. The whole thing ends with the mall blowing up and the 'he's not dead' shot that littered every 80s film, from Werewolf to Space Mutiny.

*

This movie is alright, but definitely has some flaws. I like the direction they went with the story, but the execution is off. The Phantom is violent, but vindicated in most of his actions. However, he also kills some random people for no reason and turns all Single White Female in the end. Where did that come from, exactly? He has some reasoning that I can understand: he finally gets the girl back, but she loves someone else. Across the board, the acting is not too bad, but it has moments of ridiculousness. Pauly Shore is actually the most subdued here that I have ever seen, but he is still a bit annoying. You can do worse than this movie, but you can also do far better. Don't you just love it when I'm so non-committal? This movie is a fair rental, but ownership is not really required.

*

Up next, I tackle a movie that claims to be a horror film, but is really just a bad demo reel. Once can only work once! Stay tuned...

A Rare Case: The Phantom of the Opera (1989)

This is one I've been holding under my hat for a while now, but feel like I should use it. It's a Rare Case that is relative to the formats we live with now (DVD and Blu-Ray).

How often do you see this on a DVD?

That's right- this movie kept its 'formatted to fit your screen' message from VHS. There's no need for it with DVD, since it's digital! If it was not clear that this was VHS transfer before, it is now.

Next up, the crappy DVD menus I promised you. Stay tuned...

Mask-Off: Phantom of the Paradise

To conclude this weird look at a fairly-forgotten character as a horror icon, let's look at something that is scary for all the wrong reasons. This one is brought to you by another quite famous director, but will the results be different? 

Well, the first thing to note is that this film was made in 1974, so it pre-dates the previous two films by over a decade. 

The second thing to note is that it was directed by Brian De Palma, the man behind Dressed to Kill and Sisters. There are many moments when it is definitively a De Palma film for sure! 

It is also the official debut film of Jessica Harper, who, if you are anything like me, you know as the girl from Suspiria. She is our lead in the picture and, interestingly enough, does look very similar to other mistresses of the Phantom that would come later. 

The similarities in this version are very few, so they must be mentioned. Without further build-up, I bring you...

The Phantom of the Paradise

Oddly enough, the film begins with a long musical number by a band called- seriously- The Juicy Fruits. This wannabe Sha Na Na sings for a few minutes before a random guy wanders on while the stage is being cleaned and sings. This is when one of our two villains- a dead ringer for Meatloaf- begins to seemingly talk to the audience. We learn that he actually talking to the other villain, who we do not see until later. The man on stage sings a song, making it two in the first ten minutes. This is definitely a musical! They take the guy's music and pay him nothing. Well, at least it stops there. Oh wait, they just kicked him out of their building. At least it stops...oh, they beat him up when he dresses in drag and tries to talk to the man again. At least...they beat him up, plant drugs on him and send him to jail. At...oh and they put him in a prison experiment which involves him having his teeth replaced with metal dentures. This finally causes him to snap (this man is freaking Gandhi!) and try to smash all of the Juicy Fruit (giggle) records. Incidentally, he just runs out of prison. During the attempt, he falls into a record press and is maimed. Revenge is coming...eventually.
Wandering into the studio (this man is Solid Snake!), he wanders into the prop department & gets a leather get-up and a Prince of Space- style mask. He sets a bomb in a prop car used for a dress rehearsal. After a long build-up (plus a whole scene shot in split-screen), the bomb blows up, but neither kills nor hurts anyone. 

Damn, Phantom- you suck! 

He gets spotted by the boss (played by Paul Williams) and captured. Somehow, the man is tricked into a signing a contract to finish the rest of the work that he had started on. You can't trust him- he's The Penguin! Within less than a minute, we learn that the man is going to be betrayed again when his work is done. In addition, the young lady that our Phantom is swooning is over is taken off of the lead role to be replaced by a new singer. The man's name- Beef!

 Here's some historical irony for you: the lady is replaced by an effeminate male singer. The man dresses a lot like the lead from The Rocky Horror Picture Show (it came out the next year), while our lead actress would later star in Shock Treatment, the sequel to that film!

I smell trouble brewing...Don't stop now- it only gets weirder, folks. The man is introduced to the public in a big show and backed by a band that dresses like KISS' cousins. Oh and they are the same men who also played The Juicy Fruits. 

We see in rehearsals that the show is changing drastically, even to the point where Beef is allowed to make up his own lines. When he finally finishes writing the lines in time for the show, The Phantom is walled up in his studio! He lets loose a loud scream which somehow goes through the whole building. 

One cut later and we see that he has broken loose and knocked out/killed the guards at the door. How? They never say. The power of love, I guess. 

He makes his way towards the stage as the show begins...and what a show it is! The KISS wannabes sing near the audience and fake chopping up fans! They use these 'parts' to assemble Beef, who sings a weird-ass song. 

As a bonus, their background is literally stolen from The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari! Our Phantom gets revenge by throwing a lightning bolt-shaped light at Beef, which fries him to death on stage. 

Desperate, the men send out Ms. Harper to sing the next part, which the crowd loves. They love Alice Cooper-esque shows and opera? What a crowd!
But wait, there's more! 

On the roof, Harper rejects the Phantom and runs to the villain. She indulges in rock excess and seems too far gone. We learn that they plan to kill her in the next show! Why? Because it's televised and ratings would go through the roof. Clearly this guy does not plan long-term! 

We still need one more plot twist to make this confusing and silly, so here we go. Going through film reels in the man's office, The Phantom discovers that our villain made a deal with the Devil (aka his reflection shown in a red tint) to stay young again. This explains an earlier scene where our hero tried to commit suicide, but he could not die without the villain's say-so. 

Okay, it does not really explain it all that much. So our hero rushes towards the stage to stop the sniper who is going to shoot our heroine on cue. He does so and pulls off the villain's mask, revealing- for some reason- his scarred face. 

It was not scarred before, but it now because...I got nothing. Grabbing a nearby mask with a point on it, 

The Phantom stabs the minute villain and kills both of them in the process (since the contract dies with the villain). His mask comes off and our heroine figures everything out. 

Oh and the dancing crowd figures nothing out and just keeps dancing. The End.
That was...well, odd. All of the basic ideas are there (young opera singer, Phantom, etc), but warped to a really weird degree. Our heroine is a young singer named Phoenix- SYMBOLISM!!!- who does not exactly fall in love with the Phantom. Our Phantom is a misfigured music composer who has metal teeth and talks through a voice box. Congratulations, you just made another Doctor Phibes! In this film, our Phantom is mostly a hero, although he does kill a guy just for singing his music instead of Phoenix. Oh and remember my comments about the overly-done Faust referrences in the first of three Phantom films? Well, this one ups the ante! Not only does the show do 'Faust,' but our villain makes a deal with the devil, as well as our hero and heroine (albeit by proxy)! Do you get it?!?!? As a film, it is experimental and weird to a fault. It is a cult film in all of the best and worst ways. If you ever said, 'I wish Brian De Palma did a musical with glam rock and opera,' you are in luck. If you love the famous musical by A.L.W., look elsewhere. This is just it's weird, freaky cousin that nobody likes to talk to at the receptions.
Up next, Dolph Lundgren makes a film about time-travel. Ironically enough, it was locked in a vault for nearly three years. Stay tuned...

Mask-Off: Phantom of the Opera (1998)

I must first state two things at the start of this review. First off, I really love Dario Argento's films as a whole. His flair, sense of storytelling and use of camera work is amazing. Secondly, I heard nothing but bad things about this movie before I watched it. Based on what people said, it would be worse than The Stendhaal Syndrome (the only Argento film released on DVD by Troma!) and Trauma (which I still have not seen). How could it be this bad? It's directed by 'The Maestro of Gore' and stars Julian Sands, who is a very underrated actor in genre films! Sure, it stars Asia Argento in the lead, but is this really another case of The Godfather Part III? Let's find out in my review of...

Il Fantasma dell'opera

And yes, I do think that using the Italian title makes me seem clever. Thanks for noticing.

For better or for worse, the film deviates from the source material very early on. Of course, this is still nothing when compared to the final Phantom film I have for you tomorrow. Our Phantom is an orphan left in the sewers and raised by rats. No, they don't ever explain exactly how that works. One time-jump later and we have Julian Sands lurking in the sewers. Through some exposition, we learn that it is dangerous to go down there because everyone is killed when they wander in. Why? Because rats are killed when they wander to the surface. It's just karma! Through spying, he discovers a young opera singer (Asia) and is instantly attracted. Fortunately, he is telepathic and begins to communicate with her. What? You find this to be odd? I don't know why. I should also note that this Phantom is not scarred in any physical. Emotionally- he's obviously in a bad place. The conflict comes into play when a local lord has it in for our heroine as well. Our young woman is conflicted- who can she love? Will it be the man who can give her everything or the bad guy from The Medallion? Choices, choices.

One thing that is quite noticeable is that Argento did not cast a classically-trained opera singer as the lead...well, opera singer. Of course, we all know why he cast who he did. To be fair, she does lip sync pretty convincingly. Another change is that he does not help her learn to be a better singer. Why this omission is made is completely beyond me. I have never been one to question Argento's ways. Well, okay, I do question why he casts his daughter in the lead when said role 'requires' there to be a rape scene of sorts (both in Stendhaal and this film). Then again, this is the guy who had his eldest daughter 'killed off' in the beginning of Phenomena and has 'killed' his ex-wife on at least three occasions.

The climax of the film is pretty much what you would expect, although with an interesting twist or two. The Phantom actually sends Asia and the royal off to safety as he dies in battle with the police. Why? Because he is afraid that they will kill her off now that they know she has been involved with himself. Incidentally, he actually gives up on Asia and lets her be with the other man. This is another change in the story that you just sort of have to deal with. Dramatically, the pair row off to safety as our heroine cries out in anguish. The End.

I may get some flack for this, but I did not hate this movie. Is it as good as Suspiria or Tenebre? No, not really. Is it a bit silly that Asia plays the lead role here? Maybe a little. I think Julian Sands did a really good job in his role, despite it being a departure from the usual version we get. One curious thing is that the 80s version is actually bloodier than this one. To be fair, the atmosphere and setting is much better done in this version though. It is helped by not actually being shot on a Universal sound stage or anything like that. Moments in the film have the Argento flourish, but many of them are just dirty and grimy. The film is mostly set in a sewer though. Anyone who thinks that Argento has lost his touch in the wake of this film needs to watch The Mother of Tears or Do You Like Hitchcock. Even at nearly 70, the man has still got it. Everyone just has bad times, even directors of classic films. Does Alexander ring a bell?

To finish out the trilogy, one more classically-trained director takes his shot at the tale. This one does have singing...just not the kind that you would think. Stay tuned...

Mask-Off: Phantom of the Opera (1989)

Everybody loves the Phantom right? What do you mean that he is known mostly for that stupid musical where he is supposed to be a romantic icon? Have we forgotten his roots? He is a scary character that is most famous for his portrayal by Lon Chaney Sr! He is not some guy who looks cute and fences like Errol Flynn! Never mind the fact that he was played in the 2004 film by Gerard Butler, who later went on to play Leonidas in 300. He's still a wuss. We need to remind people that there was a big, scary villain that lived in the sewers. I have just the man for the job too: Robert f-ing Englund! Let's take a look at the '80s version of the story produced by the King of Sub-Par Cinema in his day: Menahem Golan. This is...

The Phantom of the Opera (1989)

Our story begins with a fake quote from a man's last words- good start. They give us a present day (of 20 years ago) location in what looks like Chicago or New York. Thank you, vague camera work and night shots! We meet our heroine and her friend...Molly Shannon of SNL fame?!? I guess you have to start somewhere. She has discovered a rare copy of an old sonata by the same man who they quoted earlier. While her friend is away, our friend finds a copy of his masterpiece- 'Don Juan Triumphant'- and begins to sing the words. This causes the text to turn into blood, but it only lasts for a moment and no evidence is left. Um, Big-Lipped Alligator Moment anyone? The pair go to some auditions the next day for an opera. As she sings from the piece, a sandbag swings down at her...causing the space-time continuum to crash. She wakes up in 1885 London and is greeted by her friend...who is not Molly Shannon anymore. Anyone going to ask questions here? No? Alright then.

Everyone just sort of goes along with this as our heroine is the understudy to a Diva of the highest sort. A mysterious man talks to her through her mirror, which she has no problem with. Wow, you really question nothing, do you? We get our first bit of horror as the Phantom kills the man who dropped the sandbag. Why? Didn't he set this all up for you? He brings the guy up on a rope and cuts the man open, causing him to have what I refer to as a 'kill-gasm' face. That night, he dumps the body in the star's room, who oddly comes alive. Who survives being skinned like that, only to die when a lady shows up? This fright causes the Diva to lose her voice and a new star is born. By the way, the boss is played by Bill Nighy, before he got typecast as a vampire. Our heroine does very well, although a critic the next day is extremely rude. That man runs into the Phantom and gets his head bashed into a wall. Everyone's a critic...killer, I guess. She takes the criticism badly and goes to her dad's grave...to feel better. The Phantom meets her and takes her to his lair, but not before using violin music to stop her fiancee. Huh?

The movie only gets weirder and bloodier as it goes by. The girl insists that the Phantom play his sonata from 'Don Juan' and sings along. When it ends, he asks how she knows the lyrics, to which she has no answer. Didn't you send her...I thought you...oh, screw it. He lets her go when she agrees to do the show once more. Does this actually happen in the movie though? Nope- only one opera per film. She meets up with her fiancee, but cannot see him for fear that the Phantom will kill him. Why? He's only killed one worker, three thugs and a critic already. Despite her concerns, she goes to a ball for all the people involved in the show. Oh and remember that great reveal of the Phantom's face in the Chaney version? We get that, only in a weird segment where he removes all of his make-up and features...by himself! That's not the same! He goes undercover as the villain from 'Faust' (the opera being performed), but also with a touch of Death from The Masque of Red Death. He pulls the Diva aside when she hears that the woman wants back in the show. They pull the food out and reveals the soup...which has her head in it! Still hungry? He takes the starlet back to his lair and the rat-catcher leads the police to there, with the fiancee in tow. A long battle takes place, which end with the lair set in flames and the Phantom shot several times. Movie over? No.

Not knowing when to quit, the movie has our heroine wake up. She is told that she got the part and will get to meet the backer...who is Robert Englund with no make-up. Ahh, he's still scary! He takes the woman back to his place in order to get ready for a party. He goes upstairs, while she goes through all of his stuff. We get the 'shocking' reveal that he is the Phantom still. Yeah, that makes sense. She plays a floppy disc of his which plays the same part from 'Don Juan' again. Way to make the most of this song, movie! He uses the same line from earlier, which leads her to pull of his false face! After a struggle, she stabs him and walks off with his music. Our Phantom is a wuss in the present day! She rips up his music and dumps it in the sewer, which causes him to die. It all makes sense in the story...kind of. Later still, she walks down the road and a man plays 'Music of the Night' on the violin. Do they follow up on this? No. The End.

This movie is honestly pretty good, but the wrap-around story is just so pointless. On top of that, the symbolism is really forced. Consider this: the opera is 'Faust' and, during the performance, they show us a scene where Englund's character sells his soul to the Devil...in the form of a midget. I guess it has to do with Twin Peaks' popularity at the time. On top of that, he dresses like the Satan character near the end. We get it, movie! The big thing about this movie is the gore. It is pervasive, dramatic and generally-well done. The only problem is that some of it is completely and utterly pointless. Did we need two scenes of him sewing and un-sewing his face? I didn't think so. I will say that this film is criminally ignored though. It is an 80s horror film starring Robert Englund and it is obscure? How did that happen? Give this one a rent if you love some bloody, old-school horror.

Up next, a famous horror director takes his shot at it. Will he do any better or will nepotism get in the way? Stay tuned...