Tubi Thursday: Transmorphers- Mech Beasts

 I got lots of great presents yesterday (mostly Movies- duh).  I hope that you did too.

Hopefully, you didn't get a trick present like this Mockbuster...

This is the Sequel to Transmorphers from 2007 and Transmorphers: Fall of Man (like Revenge of the Fallen, you see) from 2009.

In this one, it is 2324 and humanity is finally adjusting to life without the killer robots.

Naturally, they come back!

These new Transmorphers are advanced and can turn into 'Lions' (apparently based on scanning the logo of a lion's head).

They don't look terrible, right?

Well, this is the only thing they turn into.  They made two CGI Models (one for them and one for the old models).  That's it.

To pad out this sucker, we get to see the Head of the Council (Tom Arnold) try to keep humanity in line.

On the plus side, he does actually leave the one location, unlike the Kong Movie they did with him.

The bulk of the Plot involves a Mom (who's written like a Legacy Character, but isn't), her two kids and the new Husband.

She has a Dead Husband Backstory and is seen as the only person who can save the day.

Can they be rescued?

Can the Mech Beasts (which are actually called Q-Morphs in the Dialog) destroy humanity?

Is their one Character Model too great to overcome?

To find out, stream this one free now!

A decent Film, even if the Budget is the greatest adversary here.

Simply put, they really do struggle to make this one work for, I'm going to guess, less than a million dollars.  I give them credit for trying and some stuff does look good.

Positives- the Lion Robot Model looks good.  The Acting is alright.  The attempt to somehow bring this thing back after 2 barely related Films made before 2010 is admirable.

Granted- this exists to rip off the most recent Live-Action Transformers Film, so my admiration only goes so far.

This one really does suffer from lots and lots of Tell, Don't Show.  
For instance, the kids being pursued by a robot is 'shown' by them standing in a warehouse room with sound effects played in and them saying 'It is getting closer!'

I'm not Filmmaker, but there MUST be a way to do something like this on a small, small Budget.  Rein in the scope and make it work.

That and don't spend the money you need for explosions on...fully CGI boxes.  The f**k?!?

A Film that tries to be- at the very least- a $50 million blockbuster.  Sadly, it can't stick the landing, in spite of some good points.

Holiday Special- Shane Black vs. Christmas

 Do you know that Shane Black loves Christmas?

If you didn't, now you do.

The guy has written many Screenplays and Written/Directed Films that have grossed over $1 Billion.

For him, the Most Wonderful Time of the Year is a great time to set Screenplays.

Let me show you why...

1) Giving

Lethal Weapon- Riggs and Murtagh give each other a reason to keep going.  They give each other motivation.

The Long Kiss Goodnight- Samantha is able to reveal the truth, giving safety to everyone.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- Harry gives a new purpose to Perry and Faith.

Iron Man 3- Stark gives (or loans) his suit to Pepper, setting up her own suit for Endgame.

2) Parties

Lethal Weapon- We see Murtaugh celebrate with his Family.

The Long Kiss Goodnight- a pre-awakened Samantha celebrates the Holiday.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- Our Hero meets our Heroine first at a Christmas Party.

Iron Man 3- Tony tries to have a private party with Pepper at home.

3) Trees

Lethal Weapon- the climax takes place in the Street surrounded by said trees.

The Long Kiss Goodnight- shoot out by some trees?  Yep!

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- they aren't outside in L.A. Winter, but they show up.

Iron Man 3- does the richest Avenger have a tree?  Oh yeah!  So do many others too.

4) Snow

Lethal Weapon- Los Angeles is not big on snow, sadly.

The Long Kiss Goodnight- snow is everywhere in the outdoor Scenes.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- More L.A. Winter- damn!

Iron Man 3- Black with the save here as Iron Man crashes into the Midwest and is laid out in the snow.

As a bonus, it nearly matches the plight of exasperated John McClain in Die Hard 2.

5) Christmas Past & Future

Lethal Weapon- Riggs' past readies him for his future challenges with Diplomats and others.

The Long Kiss Goodnight- her violent and dangerous Christmas prepares her for...a return to normalcy.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- Harry survives a Christmas case to become a Detective.

Iron Man 3- Tony's past exploits during the Season created his future Extremis foe.  Whoops.

6) Family

Lethal Weapon- Murtagh's family grows to include Riggs.  Aw!

The Long Kiss Goodnight- her family is her anchor and she even returns to it, forgoing action (for now).

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang- Harry and Perry become just like (a dysfunctional) family by the end.

Iron Man 3- Stark destroys his old family (the suits) to make a new one...eventually in Endgame.

Are there more examples and Themes to cover?

If so, let me know and Merry Christmas!

Chomp Chomp: Primeval (2007)

 As you wait for Santa and his Claus, here's a tale of a Crocodile and its Jaws!

This is Primeval, a 2007 Film that was one of the TWO Films both about a Killer Crocodile (not to be confused with the pair of Films called that) released in 2007.
It is also not to be confused with the TV Show of the same name.

To be fair, this one is based on a 2004 Documentary about one.
Plus, this one is in Africa and the other one is in Australia.

The Plot involves a Reporter and Staff being sent to Africa to look into Gustave the Crocodile after he kills a lady Scientist.
She's White, so get in there!

By the way, if you think that's just a me thing, it is ACTUALLY STATED in the Film by Orlando Jones.

Can they survive long enough to catch the killer?
Did this Film's marketing imply that it was a human and some people got pissed off?

To find out, read on... 

In the Cold Open, this lady is killed by a Crocodile.

I mean, what else is there to say here?
It's muddy and they don't actually show it to you just yet.

In America, a Reporter- Dominic Purcell- is sent on assignment to cover the story.

He's facing backlash for some sources that didn't pan out.

None of that actually matters, of course- it's just to set the mood for how people treat him.

In Africa, the group- Purcell, a lady Reporter with connections to his Boss and Orlando Jones- face some bureaucracy before finally going into the wild.

They get a Guide and a Hunter- Jurgen Prochnow.

He's grouchy and not at all like Quint. 

They get out there and try to set a trap for Gustave.

There's conflict between the Guide and Prochnow, however, as the latter wants it dead.

Jones goes out on his own to get some B-Roll and accidentally gets footage of some men killing a Rebel Witch Doctor that they met the previous day or so ago.

Come nightfall, they try to catch it.

However, their local Helper is nearly killed by Gustave in the process and it eventually escapes.

They soon discover that the real danger is the people out there.

They know that they have some incriminating footage and want it.

Is it odd that Gustave is accidentally a helper here?

Yes.

Of course, he's not exactly buddy-buddy with them.

They try to return to the mainland and their Guide is killed.

They get separated and Jones is chased by Gustave in one of the few non-nighttime shots of the 'beast.'

They are confronted by the real villain- aka Little Gustave- and he demands the information.

Of course, Gustave (the real one) makes his presence felt too.

Our Heroes get away and bring the local guide back to America.

As for the Crocodile, well...

A Film that is not what is promised- for better or for worse.

As noted, the TV and Newspaper Ads (those were a thing in 2007!) talked about how 'Gustave was the most prolific Serial Killer in the World.'

Yeah's he's a Crocodile.

To be fair, their website ads (those were just recently a thing) talked about the Crocodile aspect.

Here's the other thing- Gustave is almost a secondary threat/attraction here.

The Film spends a good chunk of time really focusing on the political strife, violence and danger of Africa at this time (it's super chill now- don't Google it).

That's fine...but you're the Killer Crocodile Film.

I know that CGI is expensive, but this is a bit of a bait and switch.

It's still pretty good, but, no offense, I hope that the other one of these- Rogue- is better.

Next up, some proper Holiday stuff.  Tis the Season and all that jazz.  Stay tuned...

Holiday Shudder-Day: The Sacrifice Game (2023)

 A Film about a dark, blood sacrifice- Merry Christmas to me!

This is The Sacrifice Game, a 2023 Horror Film brought to me by Shudder.  I had more plans for Christmas than I can manage- basically a free/cheap way to cover the 2019 Black Christmas Remake- this Year.

As such, I'll settle for this Film- the Horror Version of The Holdovers.

* 1970's Setting- check.
* Student(s) and Teacher left at a School- check.
* Lots of death- okay, just this one.

This one is recent, so minimal SPOILERS ahoy!

A gang of crazed killers is on the loose in 1971.

They are very ritualistic and there's clearly something more going on.

Bad news- they are headed towards a School.

There's worse news, of course.

A trio of people are left there for Christmas.

A young lady abandoned by her Stepdad due to a business, a strange girl stuck there for no clear reason and a Teacher to watch them.

Things go badly for everyone involved.

Cop on the way- dead.
Boyfriend- not doing well.

Oh, and they're here to summon something evil...

What happens when things don't quite go their way?

Well, there's a good 30 minutes left in the Film for worse things still to happen.

To find out, stream this festive fright now.

A fun, freaky Christmas Film for all of you out there who don't want to watch A Christmas Story all day.

This one is more of a freaky Film than a scary Film.

It features some brutal stuff, so don't go expecting psychological torture or any of this boring (in this single instance) stuff.

The Film pulls no punches in nearly every Scene that involves something bad happening to a human body.  It has an extra edge because- for the most part- you are seeing people that feel real having very bad things happening to them.

In other words, it is more A Nightmare on Elm Street than A Nightmare on Elm Street 6 (which is still fun TBF).

The Plot takes some nice twists and turns.  You'll probably figure some of them out before the Characters do.

Even so, I liked the whole thing for being a bit subversive and interesting.

Now to tell a friend- they love my recommendations!

A Film that is more than what you think.  It doesn't reinvent the wheel either- so just enjoy it!

Disaster Flix: Into the Storm (2014)

After Twister.
Before Twisters.

This is Into the Storm, a 2014 Film about, well, a storm.
This one doesn't seem to be that well remembered and that's a shame.  I remember renting this- probably around 2015- and enjoying it.

Smash cut to me spotting it this Year and realizing that I somehow didn't review it.

The Plot involves a small Town, a Cast of Characters living in or entering said Town and a massive Storm.
What it does well is make a small Cast matter with backstories, motivations and all that stuff.

When the disaster happens, you root for them and hope for the best.

Can a future Dwarf from The Hobbit and a member of the Upright Citizens Brigade survive?
To find out, read on...

In the Cold Open, a group of teens driving down a road at night run across a tornado.

It doesn't end well for them.

A group of Storm Chasers and a Docunentary Crew are trying to catch some action on Film, but it's been a dry 3 months.

With funding drying up, will a nearby Town (from said accident) bear fruit?

The key Story here is a widowed Father (Richard Armitage) and his two teenage Sons.

He has them shooting a Time Capsule video for the Town and there's tension, ever since the Mother's death.

There's also a pair of wannabe Jackass Cast Members.

They seem willing to do anything dangerous for YouTube views.

Insert Mr. Beast Joke Here.

The older Brother has a thing for this girl in School and takes his chance to get close to her.

He helps her document a factory that polluted the Town, which means missing the filming of the Graduation Ceremony.

Dad isn't happy.

The Crew is getting ready to leave Town when it starts to suddenly hail.

Now a real Storm is breaking out and they are ready to cover it.

The Brother is at the Factory when it hits the nearby area, trapping them.

Meanwhile, the Storm gets worse and worse for those outside.

Can our Heroes get the shots they need?

Can our Family survive?

Will these two guys somehow not win The Darwin Award?

To find out, watch it now.

A Film that, for as loud as it can be, came and went pretty quietly.
Its Director- Steven Quale- has only made one other Film since this, in 2017.

I remember seeing this about 10 years ago and being really impressed.  Thankfully, I feel the same way in 2024.

I should also mention that this is *mostly* a Found Footage Film.  I still like it allot!

The Film works so well because you get just enough Character Work to make you really care about the random Characters.  They are fleshed out enough without the Film being bogged down with personal drama.

The Special Effects here are great.  Even with a scrutinizing eye and 10 years later, they look amazing.  Really good work here.

If you loved Twisters, you really need to see (or revisit) this forgotten 'missing link' between Twister (which I will revisit on Blu-Ray soon) and it.

It literally has Twisters in it!

Next up, let me look one half a very specific trend from 2007.  Chomp chomp, folks!

Tubi Thursday: Krampus- The Reckoning (2015)

 Let's wrap our yearly look at Krampus Films up with one that I probably should have done first.

When you look up Krampus Films, this one usually comes up first.

Is it the bad CGI?  The 2015 release date?

Yes.

In the Cold Open, a young girl talks to her Grandma about how unhappy she is.

She's told the story of Krampus (we're told).

Some vague amount of time later, a girl is annoyed with her Foster Parents and pulls out a strange doll.

A terrible CGI Model...I mean, Krampus shows up and kills both of them.

We are told that they were burned up as well.

This Cop- who looks like Claudio Castagnoli if you squint- is on the case.

It only gets harder when a Nurse that the girl doesn't like is killed by Krampus too.

At least they sprung for the make-up effects on him.

The Child Psychologist is on the case.

She's got her own stuff going on too, from her adopted Son to her strange scar and her lack of childhood memories.

I'm sure that won't pan out.

Krampus is continuing to punish those that are bad, seemingly at the girl's beck and call.

This...is really what they went with.

Can the truth get revealed?

Will it make any sense?

To find out, ho-ho-hop on over to Tubi to stream it now.

One of the OG Krampus Films- even if still only exists due to the Hollywood Film.

This one is weird.  Let me do the positives...

Krampus is a Monster.
The Plot is more complex than it seems.

Oh and there's lots of random Nudity that comes out of nowhere, if that does it for you.

The negatives- that Krampus Model is so blatantly CGI.  Couldn't you make a mask or something for close-ups?
Credit for not making him look like Ares like in that last Film, but...this CGI Model is a good start and nothing more.
Hell, even if you can't afford better, show it sparingly!

The Plot is so bizarre that it kind of warps around from making no sense to being clever.  It's still not good, but they also didn't take the easy way out.

They did, however, get me an early present- another fake Movie Search Engine...

There are worse Krampus Films and it aimed high.  Unfortunately, the Plot was still kind of silly when you really think about it for five seconds.