Streaming Standard: Borderlands (2024)

 I'm a big fan of the Games, having played every main entry in the Series save the newest one.

So why did I wait until now to watch the Film?

Well...

Lilith is a Bounty Hunter in a far-off Galaxy.

She's hired to bring back the Daughter of a big-time Executive of a major Arms Company.

This is her.
She's on Pandora.

It is the worst Planet in the Galaxy.

Things take a turn when she learns WHY the man wants his Daughter back (and how their actual relationship is).

She's no Heroine.

Teaming up with Roland, Krieg and (unfortunately for her) Claptrap, they must now find the famous Vault on Pandora.

What's inside?  Immeasurable treasure.
(in both meanings of the word)

Can they survive the journey with an army at their backs and dangerous individuals in front of them?

This won't be easy.

Will they save the day?
Will they unlock the Vault?
Will this gel with the game's storyline in any way?

To find out, stream it now.

Oh boy.  I've been sitting on this one for a few days.

Positives first.
They nail the look and feel of Pandora.  We get iconic Characters (in various forms) and hints of the crazy world.
I really liked Tiny Tina here.  They did her right.

With that out of the way, I have to ask- Who was this Movie made for?

It picked and chose random aspects from the Series to make a hodge podge Story that is similar enough to the original Game to make it weird that they picked certain people.
Borderlands 1 has Lilith, Brick, Roland and Mordecai.

Tiny Tina appears first in Borderlands 2, while Krieg appears as a DLC (or Downloadable Content) in the same game.

Why make them so prevalent if this is the first Game's Story?

Additionally, the Casting is hit or miss with the big names.
Blanchette is always good, but she's just not Lilith here.
Black as Claptrap is fine, but the Character is 100% Voice Acting anyways, so why not just use the official guy?
Hart- to his credit- is less goofy here, but he's still not Roland.

Otherwise, the Film is just very generic and bloodless (to get a PG-13) Rating. 
It just doesn't please anyone and the Box Office showed it.

I did really like you as Marcus though, mate!

A Film that has small doses of what you'd expect from the Franchise.  Sadly, the rest of the Film feels like a mix of great cosplay and something else entirely!

Streaming Standard: X-Men '97- Season 2's Premiere Episodes

 We're back in the '90s!

The Show is back for another Season after a long delay.  Fittingly, this delay led to 3 Episodes about Time Travel coming out first!

I'll keep this as SPOILER-free as possible, but I do have to reference the Ending of Season 1.

Let's get out first taste of...

This Season's Villain is Apocalypse!

Hey, it's the tease of Wolverine and The X-Men finally paying off after over a Decade!

The Team is split up in Time and Space by a mysterious force.

In Episode 1, we see the group in the far Future as they see the now-adolescent Cable and try to guide him towards his destiny.

Episode 2 takes us back to the Present (of the Show) and follows those left behind.

Sunspot and Jubilee are recruited by Cable as part of his new X-Force.

They discover that a different team is also acting in the X-Men's absence...

X-Factor!

Last seen in Cold Comfort, the Team is working to capture all of the Mutants that they can find and rounding them up for 'their safety.'

I thought I could trust you, Strong Guy!

In the final Episode of the release, we see the team that was sent back to the Past.

They are teamed up with a pre-evil (well, mostly) Apocalypse as Magneto tries to rewrite history by getting him on their side.

Sadly, the slew of Star Trek: TNG Voice Actors are in the way!

To find out how it goes, Stream the Episodes now (before Episode 4 drops)!

A strong batch of Episode that makes up for all of the wait!

Obviously, many things happened behind the Scenes that likely delayed things.  Even so, we have good content to enjoy.

Episode 1 is a fun reintroduction to everyone and gives off real Terminator vibes.

Episode 2 is a good example of a Side Story and let us see many, many Cameos.  Just Google it and you'll see.

Episode 3 is the first of a 2-Parter, so don't expect everything to be settled.  It's still a great use of the Characters.

The pairings have mostly paid off quite well, from Rogue and Nightcrawler bonding to Jubilee butting heads with Cable.
We don't see any of the sort-of flirting with Morph and Wolverine here, but there's time (if it is continuing).

This Season really has a nice chance to breathe with this setup and I'm hopeful that it continues that way.

As always, people love to make Fake AI Trailer Images.  This one is from November!

We'll see if any of it comes true.

I'll likely cover the remaining Episodes in batches, but time will tell.  For now, enjoy the '90s!

Streaming Standard: Expendables 4 (aka Expend4bles)

As a fan of the original Trilogy (flaws and all), I was interested in a 4th Film...when it was announced in 2014.

When it finally came out in 2023, I skipped it in Theaters.

In 2026, I finally pulled the trigger.

In Expendables 3, we got a mix of the original Cast and a bunch of younger recruits- like Ronda Rousey and (yes, really) Glen Powell- to fill things out.

Even Schwarzenegger was around and we got Harrison Ford as the new government boss.

In Expendables 4, the new Cast is all gone.  Even Wesley Snipes.

Arnie is presumably busy making his Netflix Show and Terry Crews wasn't asked back (he has a theory).

Even Antonio Banderas was replaced by...his Son (?!?) on the team.

Instead, Stallone and *most* of the old Cast are being sent on a mission by their new Boss- Andy Garcia.

A new player- Iko Uwais- has broken into 'Gaddafi's Old Base' and stolen some nuclear detonators.
He died in 2011, but sure- that's still a thing.

They also think that this is the work of a rogue agent named Ocelot (not the MGS one) who is pulling the strings.

Remember Charisma Carpenter in the first 2 Films?
Well, she's essentially been replaced by Megan Fox as Statham's Girlfriend...and also on the team.

Can we get a Comic to explain all of the changes here?  I didn't think so.

The team's mission to stop Jaa goes poorly- I won't SPOIL why- and Statham is kicked off of the team by Garcia.

In the aftermath, the remaining team- alongside Garcia- go to a ship to stop the bad guy and recover the nuke.

Fortunately, Statham meets another former Expendable- Jaa- and they end up helping the others.

Can the group save the day?
Can they ever get the CGI sky around the boat to look convincing?

To find out, stream it now...

Oh jeez, I really wanted to like you, Movie.

As stated, I like the first 3.  Hell, I own them!
They have problems- I don't pretend otherwise.

That said, this one has so many things working against it...

* Previous Cast gone with no explanation
* New Cast gets no buildup

* This random Vietnamese lady (who they say is Chinese) joins up off-screen.
* Stallone does nearly nothing here (he is older than both of my Parents TBF)
* They don't even do the Opening Action Scene right (it's crosscut with Stallone's bits)

* The twists were way too obvious

* The CGI blood is silly.
* The CGI for the night sky around the boat (and for moving vehicle shots) looks TERRIBLE.

Positives include the influx of Thai/Indonesian Action Stars, Statham still being Statham and some fun action at times.

Otherwise, this one should have either been made by 2017 (at the latest) or not at all.

Unless, of course, they could make the Film that people wanted based on the many, MANY Fake AI Trailer Images...

Really Old Man Barney!

A Film that goes from being fun to painful.  The whole thing is a mess and not even an enjoyable one.

Streaming Standard: Venom- Let There Be Carnage (2021)

 A Film that was locked behind the door of 'Only Streaming on Starz' until quite recently.

Well, let there be a review!

Cletus Kassady (last seen at the end of Venom) is a Serial Killer who agrees only to talk to Eddie Brock.

Our boy Eddie doesn't get much, but Venom spots a massive clue.

So, Eddie does the only natural thing...

He breaks the story and gets all of the glory.

This is all part of a larger Plot where Eddie wants Venom to not eat people, while the symbiote, well, does want to do that thing.

These boys need a Therapist!

Eventually, Kletus and Eddie end up in close proximity and the former bites the latter.

This leads to him getting his own mutated symbiote and breaking free right before he can be executed.

He has good, dramatic timing!

Cassidy is trying to get back to his lost love- a lady based on but not named Shriek.

Can love bloom between a lady who screams sonic blasts and a symbiote/man who can't stand sonic blasts?

Can Venom and Eddie come together (quite literally) to save the day?

Is the Non-Spider-Man Sony Spider-Man Universe in good hands?

To find out, stream it now (currently on Disney +).

A Film with big characters, big moments and a big issue with pacing.

The Film has some great visual effects, with Venom and Carnage both looking quite good.  Freaky, but good.

Tom Hardy really makes himself look vulnerable as both Eddie and Venom (the voice).  It is interesting to see in a Film like this.

The issue I have is the balance of setup to payoff here.

They spend so much time setting up Kassady, Shriek and then getting together that the Film suffers a bit.  

Carnage, despite being in the Title, takes too long to show up.  Shriek suffers as well.

The Plot is just way too convenient, with somehow Eddie, the Cop, Shriek and Carnage all being intertwined in the 17th Most Populated City in the United States!
Bonkers.

In spite of its flaws, the Film has some good moments, strong visuals and, well, I can finally stop looking for it.

A Film full of interesting ideas and execution.  It's just a shame that the Pacing is just so darn weird!

Streaming Standard: Troll 2 (2025)

 A Film that makes me go 'No, not that Troll 2.  This is a new Film' far too often.

I guess they couldn't use Trolls, so...

A few years after the last Film, our Heroine is on the outs with the Government (as she went a bit rogue).

She does have one connection and Andreas gets her in a base with a secret...

They have another Troll.

Didn't the last Film tease another one?
Well, it's not this one.

Naturally, it wakes up and gets loose.

It starts attacking more people, including a Night Club that is super chill about a Troll with a 30-foot head growling at them.

At least Leatherface was just a normal guy (in a skin mask) when he showed up in that bus.

The new Troll continues on its path of destruction, even wrecking the same random House as the last Film.

Maybe don't build your House on the Troll Highway, folks.

What can stop this bigger Troll?

Another Troll!

Yes, they befriend a nice Troll (complicating the morality here as we have a Villain Monster and a Hero Monster) to save the day.

Of course, we're barely an hour in, so that's not going to work.

What can stop this new, angry Troll?

To find out, stream it now.

A fun Film that builds on the lore nicely and really lays on the pathos.

I obviously won't SPOIL too much- the Film has only been available for 19 days at time of writing.
That said, they set up some obvious stuff and then pay it off for the end.

To the Film's credit, it is not that much of a rehash.

This Troll is a legit Monster, as opposed to a force of Nature that they keep shooting at.

They build nicely on their own History and Lore.  Don't got into this one blind- you'll need to get LOTS of recapping in.

The VFX are still great here.  That said...

There's less Troll action (as a whole) than I was expecting- especially with a second one showing up.  I can't imagine that this one had a smaller Budget, so what's the Story here?

Regardless, the Film looks gorgeous and should please fans of the last one.  And yes, it too has a Fake AI Trailer Image when you search this Movie on Google.

This looks like an ad for a bad, pay-to-win Mobile Game!

A Film that gives you both less and more of what you want.  I'm not 100% in favor of every choice, but most of them are quite good.

2025 Catch-Up: The Electric State (2025)

 As the Year approaches its end, I need to catch up on some of the Movies that I've missed for various reasons.

Let's start with the latest from the Russo Brothers and a Film that cost over $300 million!

It is...

Here comes the Exposition Dump.  Are you ready?

In this alternate version of the 1990s, we had robots.  This didn't go as well as the '80s made it seem like it would be though.

They revolted and a Jeff Bezos-wannabe ended it with new technology.

Now it is 1994 and Millie here is reunited with her dead brother in the form of a robot.

I didn't even mention the deep fake Bill Clinton.

She leaves her home with it/him and runs across Chris Pratt as...well, Chris Pratt.

Well, he's a mix of himself and Han Solo.

They have to go into the Wasteland where the robots were exiled into after the War.

The villain- Stanley Tucci- sends The Marshall- Giancarlo Esposito- to get them back, since the kid's brain apparently powers his network.

In a fantasy World, this is a Screen Cap from an X-Men Film.

One of the few times you see the real Giancarlo.

The Wasteland is full of half-broken and crazy robots.

There are some good ones too, but do they good ones outweigh the crazy ones?

In a sentence I never expected to write, Robot Mr. Peanut helps lead the revolt against the corrupt CEO.

There's also Brian Cox as a Baseball Robot and more.

This is not Satire.

To see how it plays out, stream it now.

A Film that looks gorgeous, but is there anything underneath the surface?

The Film is what I like to call Cinematic Gumbo.
It is a mix of ideas, concepts and straight-up visuals from various Films, Shows and Games.

You get Robots out of the Fallout Series.  You get the entire Plot of Surrogates is stuck into here.  You get the nostalgia mining from Ready Player One.  Alan Silvestri tosses in a few parts into the Score that is right out of the Avengers Films.

Hell, Stanley Tucci is literally just his Character from Transformers: Age of Extinction!

This one is alright.  I just wish that its satirical elements were treated as such.

Instead, we get everything playing straight and it just feels so soulless.

Why did you do this one so dirty?

An AI image for this one is fitting.

A Film that looks really, really good.  Maybe put that much love and affection into the Writing next time.

Streaming Standard: Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein (2025)

 If he can't make his Lovecraft Film, I'm happy that he got to do this.

Let's see how his version of Mary Shelly's Classic Tale plays out...

Out in the cold, unforgiving Arctic, a stuck boat comes across the nearly-dead Dr. Frankenstein.

A strange, cloaked man attacks, trying to kill him!

On the boat recovering, the Doctor goes full Dewey Cox and tells his life story.

He grew up with a mean Dad (Charles Dance- naturally) and grows up to be a Doctor obsessed with beating death itself!

He meets up with his Brother and pretty blatantly starts trying to romance his fiancee (Mia Goth).

He works on making a man...

Struggles come up along the way, but he still manages to make his Adam.

Is this red thing on his chest from the Book or a sneaky Cronos Easter Egg?

He brings his Adam to life.

Of course, given this Intro, you know that some really bad stuff happens along the way to get these two to this point.

To see how it plays out, stream it now.

A really fun and refreshing take on the Classic Tale.

I've seen lots and LOTS of Frankenstein Films.  I've seen the creature in black & white and color.  I've seen them in the past or present.

This one tells the Story in a different order.  It can be a bit pretentious, but it really works here.

Isaac does a good job at not being a redeemable Character.  It is a hard thing to do as a Lead, but he works.
Jacob Elordi is a real standout to me.  I've not seen him in much (sorry, Saltburn), so him disappearing so much into the role is really impressive.
He's probably the meanest Adam I've seen since Penny Dreadful.

The Film has all of what you'd expect- especially if you're intimately familiar with the Story- and some good flourishes from Del Toro.  There's no mistaking the fact that HE is the Director here.

It is SOOOO good- in spite of what the terrible AI Trailer Images might tell you...

What even...I mean...huh?!?

If you know the tale, this one is still one to check out.  If you don't know it well, this is a great introduction!