Rare Flix: House III- The Horror Show

Oh, the Horror!  After a couple of years away, I finally watched the third film in the House series.  Why so long?  No reason, really.  I added House III to my Instant Queue a long time ago...but just never watched it. All of a sudden, a bunch of my film options were about to expire, including this one.  I said 'Well, I've got two days to watch this crap.  Which is the most important?"  I chose this one- as opposed to Panga or Terrorvision-, so let's see how good my judgement call is?  House III is not actually House III- it's just The Horror Show.  However, the film was marketed overseas as such and the next *actual* sequel was forced to be called House IV.  So while it may not be House III, the next film is still House IV.  If this one doesn't count, is House III in the same boat as Leonard: Parts 1-5?  What is the film about?  Well, a guy is terrorized in his House- hence the title- by the ghost of a killer that he caught and get sent to 'the chair.'  No, this isn't Shocker.  Both films were released in the same year and both did not exactly set the world on fire financially.  However, this film *technically* had a Sequel, allowing it to best its rival.  I can't tell you which is better until I actually see Shocker- which should happen soon enough.  Until then, let's see if this Lance Henriksen 'sequel' to a film he wasn't in is better than The Mangler 2, Mimic III or Damien: The Omen II.  We're setting the bar nice and low here, so let's see if he can limbo under it...

As the film opens with fake home movies of Lance and company, we see the first warning sign: this writing credit...

I soldiered on anyhow and we see a man named Max Jenke (pronounced like the singular form of that Scooby-Doo catchphrase) has killed a bunch of people.  Thanks to some confusing transitions and use of dreams, we're not sure what is happening.  This is especially true...

...when the man appears in bed dressed as Lance's wife.  Ew.

As it turns out, *most* of what Lance dreamed was true.  The man is sent to 'the chair,' but doesn't go down his easy.  Seriously, this dude defies all of the laws of nature here...but he's only just gotten started.

Thanks to, um, being evil or something, his spirit leaves his dead body and begins to make our hero think he's crazy.  Cue a whole slew of Freddy Kreuger-style actions like this weird sight gag below.

Just to note: Shocker is the one made by Wes Craven.  This film is just ripping him off...while he may or may not be ripping them off.  Confused?

The Police think that the daughter's boyfriend was killed by Lance since his body was found in the basement.

I should also mention that the guy is tricked and killed just like in Amityville 1992, which would come later.  I mention that since the son was in Amityville 4...in the same year as this film.  Weird.

After a lot of weird visuals and fake-outs, he attacks the family directly...with illusions.  I get that you like making crazy visuals, but some real things happening would be nice.

On the plus side, this guy's head blows up.  That's one thing off of the check list.

In The End, the villain is beaten when his spirit is zapped with electricity...in a dream world and his real body is shot to death.  I guess a man's corpse suddenly re-appearing clears you...although he is dead again.

The film ends with the missing cat being found and this freeze frame.  We aren't really going to have TWO Aron Eisenberg films about ghosts in houses end with the 'evil cat' bit are we?  Really?!?

For a Horror Show, I wasn't that bothered.  The film is kind of a mixed bag, to be honest.  What makes it interesting is often what causes the problems with it too.  The crazy visuals and tricks are interesting.  You see stuff like that guy's head explode, a decapitated head cry out and a serial killer's face on a cooked turkey.  The problem is that the drama is really hurt by this.  While Elm Street balanced these out a bit, this film just goes full-tilt crazy with them.  I didn't hate them- I just didn't feel much for the drama either.  The film is also full of little things that are either not explained properly or just feel silly.  In one scene, ghost Jenke shows up in the Interrogation Room and splits the table.  When the Cops come by later, the table is broken in two still and NOBODY asks Lance what happened to it!  Do you guys not see that?!?  There's also a weird sub-plot involving the son making fake complaints to get paid off in free samples.  Where does that go?  Nowhere.  What does it lead to?  Nothing.  Why.  Is.  That.  Here?!?  The film does have a great villain, even if his motivations are nothing more than 'Me be evil' and his powers come from...um, being really evil.  Hopefully Shocker explains this shit, since this film didn't.  The late James Isaac made a really neat-looking film...but it's easy to see why it never quite made the most lasting impression.  Take us away, thing that makes this REALLY House III...

Next up, a film for everyone that liked The Omen, but wished that it was also The China Syndrome.  For all three of you, I've got the film for you!

Decology: Jason X

When in doubt, go to space!  After 9 films with Jason Voorhees (or his mother), the studio was just plain out of ideas.  'Screw it,' they said, 'Just shoot him into outer space!'  Thus the final, pre-remake Friday the 13th film was made (not counting tomorrow's film, obviously), was made.  The film takes some liberties with the franchise and, depending on who you ask, establishes the end of the character's timeline.  That gets screwed with a bit by Freddy vs. Jason and the 'Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash' comics, but whatever.  This film takes the character onto a spaceship, where more people are waiting to be led to the slaughter.  The film has a cult following among a lot of people, while a bigger majority just kind of ignores it.  Where do I stand?  To find out, read on...

Sometime in the near future, a government group prepares to freeze-dry Jason Voorhees since he can't die.  Hi, David Cronenberg!

By the way, how was he un-melted from Part 8 and un-in Hell from Part 9?!?

 Having escaped from his restraints...somehow, he kills everyone save for a lady scientist.  She manages to get him into Deep Freeze, but he stabs her...through the metal door and they are both frozen.

Hundreds of years later, Earth is unlivable and salvage crews take stuff from there- including Voorhees and the lady.  Hey, that ship front looks like Jason's mask- subtle!

Now on the ship, the woman is revived, as is Jason.  Will he break out and kill people?  Gee- I wonder.

Hey look- he does just that.  I would never have guessed.

Among the victims are two of the crew members, who get interrupted during their V.R. session.  I hope you like, indiscriminate death and murder.

Finally, someone- without psychic powers- stands up to Jason.  This time, it's the robot chick, packing some serious heat!

The invincible, relentless killer needs an upgrade, so he conveniently falls into a machine that mixes humans with robots, creating Jason 4.0!

As our desperate heroes try to escape, the killer nearly takes them out.  Thankfully, Heroic Black Guy pulls Jason away, causing him to fall to some planet to kill again...or not.  See you in Jason XI!  The End.

In space, nobody can hear this series tread water.  The plot of this movie takes some unique steps, but never strays too far from the path.  Hell, they still have a stoner character- in the future!  Other than a lot of window dressing- the ship for the lake area, the Security Officer for a Cop- the movie is pretty much the same.  Granted, the climax involving the ship crashing towards a planet is not in the other films.  The Producers did make sure to give the film a more humorous tone, which certainly either works or it doesn't.  On one hand, the dark humor has its moments.  On the other hand, it is puns based around people being killed violently!  Unlike the darker, more serious tone, this film plays it light, assuming that anyone that would see Jason X is probably not interested in a serious movie.  They may actually be right there.  Either way, this film is certainly interesting.  Suck on that, Friday the 13th, Part 5!  Take us away, random trip to Hell...

Up next, the crossover film that everyone was waiting for.  It can't be worse than Alien vs. Predator, can it?  Stay tuned...