Import/Export: The Terrible People (1960)

Another German Murder Mystery- it's been a while.  This is The Terrible People, a 1960 Thriller based on an Edgar Wallace Story.  The guy is kind of an underrated/remembered Writer.  While modern Writers like Stephen King or their forebearers like Richard Matheson get all the glory, people like Wallace did alot.  He wrote many Crime Novels and Thrillers & is most notable to film geeks for helping write King Kong!  For whatever reason(s), his works are HUGE in Germany, so many adaptations like this come from there.  So that's the big wrinkle- the Film is set in England, but made in German.  Distracting, no?  The Plot involves a criminal's dying threat seeming to come true.  Is he really alive?  Will any of his targets survive?  The Lead is Joachim Fuchsberger, a man you will see in alot of these Films.  In fact, he's in over a dozen Edgar Wallace Adaptations!  He's even in what I think is one of the more underrated Giallos- What Have You Done to Solange?  In this one, he plays a cocky Detective who refuses to back down in the face of danger.  To see if he made the right call, read on...

A Bank Robber named Shelton is caught in the act, thanks to a Detective's trap.

Naturally, this dangerous trap is done in public, with many bystanders.  Cops are great!

As his time at the gallows- they still hang people in England?!?- arrives, the man threatens to come back for revenge on all involved.

I liked it better when a Warlock did it in Mexico.

The man's potential targets are a group of random people that include a Socialite, a Judge, an Attorney and others.

Speaking of targets, was this an acceptable thing to have this thing in your House?!?

As the targets get picked off, the Detective is also targeted.  Thankfully he wore this vest made out of the chainmail that Scott Steiner used to wear on his head.

Oh and this Film is chock full of TERRIBLE Rear Projection Effects for people in Cars and Boats.  Enjoy.

Despite Shelton's grave being empty, people swearing that they saw him and his named targets dying, it is somehow hard to get the Chief on board.

Thank you, pointless drama padding.

In the midst of stopping a murder spree from a seemingly-dead killer, Joachim finds time for romance.  Gotta prioritize, man!

As the final victims are targeted, I must highlight the biggest issue with the story for me- this poor woman.

Over the course of the last forty-minutes of Film, she is kidnapped THREE TIMES and only once gets to do anything but be in peril!!!

I'd blame Wallace, but he was already dead for 27 years at this point and I have no idea if this is from the Story or not.

It turns out that Shelton was dead and his three sons were the culprits.  Although if all 3 are dead, then who is this guy?

It's not!  This Film 'Scooby-Doo's itself (predating the Show, I know) by revealing that the Heiress thought dead (but who's body wasn't found) was the real ringleader.

She quickly exposits how she was married to our Lead's Dad and then Shelton, before offing herself to end the Film.

A quirky mystery that has alot of style, but is a bit lacking in substance.  The Plot is both simple and dense.  On the surface, we get a killer vowing revenge and people being killed.  Simple, right?  Once you get into the weeds of it though, we get a bunch of random people constantly fighting for attention.  The point is theoretically to make it hard to figure out who the culprit is.  There are too many of them and it is just hard to keep track though.  This should be easy viewing, but you practically need a flow chart.  We have a bunch of random victims, possible suspects, periphery characters and our Leads.  On top of that, they introduce and kill off a random Character before the 3rd Act.  We meet the ex-girlfriend of Shelton, who proves herself to be capable by one-upping the Detective.  In the next Scene, she is 100% ineffectual and killed off in mean fashion.  What was the point of that?!?  Putting aside all of the dated aspects, there are some fun moments and creative bits.  I don't believe that falling through the stairs and hitting the ground 4 feet away would actually kill you, but neat visual.  The Film is kind of silly and kind of a mess, but a fun one.  It's not the greatest Mystery Film.  You have to accept that everyone is German, even as the Film is set in England.  Is this an alternate Timeline where they won WWII?!?  All in all, People is a silly Mystery that old school fans will like, but is probably too dated for newer fans.

Next time, I move to the 1970s for a slightly-less dated Film.  It will still be my kind of fun though.  Stay tuned...

Actually German: Superbug Goes Wild

Back due to zero demand!  The German Superbug series is obscure to say the least.  Well, in America, anyways.  With six films that IMDB lists- one of which is mostly a clip-show-, the series is pretty prolific.  Of course, a number of things keep it from American fame.  One- it's a comedy series spun off from The Love Bug.  This film actually addresses the Herbie connection, since it came before Superbug: Secret Agent.  Oops- my bad.  Second- only the second and third films are available on Netflix.  Third- their copies are bad, VHS rips with no choice of the original German soundtrack and/or Subtitles.  You get what barely got released on VHS- deal with it!  So what is the film about?  Well, it explains the origin of the Superbug Dudu, although no really.  The bulk of the film is a series of skits around a major set-piece.  Still interested?  Well, I already watched this movie- being a Completionist is rough sometimes- so you're just going to have to pretend to care. Vroom vroom read on...

The whole film is centered around a big Rally Race in the African Plains.  Early on, we see that a rich guy who plans to enter the race has a 'famous movie car' bought for him by his wife.  It's this car...

Yes, this movie series flat out says that it's 'lead' is actually Herbie, just improved.  That's sad.

Speaking of sad, this movie does a handful of silly car stunts...with toys.  I actually wanted more of these, just because it was inadvertently more funny than the actual comedy.

All of that stuff about the movie being in Africa is a bit iffy as most of the animals appear as part of blatant stock footage.  When you actually see an animal and a star in the same shot, it's mind-blowing!!!

Is the idea of a Hovercraft racing a VW Bug interesting?  I hope so, because it's about the only thing that happens in this movie.

As a bonus, our hero spends 80% of the race just following the guy in the Hovercraft seeking a job driving with him.  No, really.

Holy shit- an Animal and an Actor in the same shot!  It's a shame that this is all just a pointless sight-gag that leads to nothing.  Yea.

I should mention that this film does nothing to set up our hero as a Spy, nor does it really explain why Dudu/Herbie has a computerized brain and can think.  Superbug: Secret Agent is looking weirder and weirder...

Do you really care about the stupid Rally Race plot?  After forty-five minutes, I sure did.  Let's just close with one more Toy F/X shot and call it a day!  The End.

Even if you're forgiving, this movie is pretty bad.  Here's the thing: it's a really broad, unfocused comedy.  The story is pretty unimportant to the whole thing.  It's just a way to have 'wacky' things happen.  Hell, some characters literally exist merely to distract from the forward momentum of the story.  A Nun and a pregnant woman come into the story to keep two characters from winning the race.  I guess it's supposed to make them look good for helping, but whatever.  Our hero's friend- who later runs a Spy Agency- is here to keep stopping our hero from his forward momentum as well.  She has no other thing to bring to this story.  That's the biggest problem though- the lack of interesting characters.  With such broad writing, the characters are more like vague ideas of what people should be.  They are big, broad stereotypes who would be offensive if anyone in America other than me had actually watched this movie.  It's a simple premise- wacky things happen during a Rally Race- that is just ruined by stupid, stupid writing & bad execution.  Of course, I could just be a bit too harsh.  What do you think, Face That Will Haunt Your Nightmares for Weeks?

Next up, a film that's a sequel to a 1998 film from China, but not the 2002 show-turned-film.  Of course, it's also not a sequel so...*BANG*  Stay tuned...

*Actually* German: The College Girl Murders

Stop me if you've heard this one before!  Today's film is certainly a quirky film, to say the least.  The plot involves a man in a red, hooded outfit (much like a Klan Grand Wizard) who steals some poison gas.  What does he do with it?  Threaten government officials?  Try to overthrow the city?  No, nothing logical like that.  Instead, he uses it to kill a bunch of buxom, college co-eds.  Yeah, that's what I would totally do too!  I will briefly mention that there is some confusion here as this film is based on a book by Edgar Wallace.  However, it references The Sinister Monk, which is supposedly a version of the same book...which was also made in 1928, 1934 and 1938.  Your brain hurt yet?  Good.  If you like the old Batman show, but wish that it were a movie, read on...

This man is an evil scientist who has made a killer nerve gas.  Now that it works, he uses it to kill his assistant.  Sure better than losing your 401K right?

This crazy Monk character sets up a deal to buy the nerve gas...but just kills the scientist with his whip.

By the way, the human neck is made out of Cool Whip and snaps with a slight pull of a whip.

An overly-complex scheme is devised to break a prisoner out of jail, give him a gas-spewing device, have him kill a girl and then sneak him back into Prison.

Confused?  You should be...

The hapless prisoner is a bit confused by the elaborate staging of the whole thing.  Join the club!

"Time to die, Random Cop!  We have to kidnap this one girl instead of killing her.  It will make sense later...sort of."

Late in the film, an alternate lead is introduced to go with our Detective and the Inspector.  He faces off with the man in the red cloak and hood...who is revealed to be the Aunt of the girl who was captured.

But wait...there's more.

The real villain is eventually revealed to be her Uncle- after they take off his pointless disguise- and he explains that it was all about the money.  That was a lot of work for that!

How do they resolve this plot?  The guy does the 'I'll Go Out With a Bang' cliche and gets killed by the 'Instant Neck Snap From A Whip.'

Oh yeah, our heroes also point out the words 'The End' appearing in a fish bowl.  Wah wah WAH!

This sure is weird.  The plot of this movie is full of random moments, complex scenarios and bizarre humor.  The problem is that the whole thing does not really balance itself out.  The humor is just inexplicable and feels incredibly out of place.  The Inspector's character in particular is all about reacting in silly ways to trying to solve the crime.  People are dying!  This movie has a body count of at least six to ten people...but you have your fun.  The plot is kind of like a weird funhouse mirror.  When you look at it directly, it appears to be elaborate and differing from reality.  When you get down to the nitty gritty, it's just a piece of glass.  If this had been building up to something bigger, I might be more forgiving.  With all of that said, it is easy to have a lot of fun along the way.  For example, the movie was made in Germany, but is supposed to be set in England, but all of the steering wheels are on the wrong side of the car.  Whoops.  If you like a campy movie that is full of style (but nothing else), check this one out.  This guy is not as sold on the idea, however...

Up next, a film starring the late Paul Naschy.  It's not weird that he plays a ghost in this, is it?  Stay tuned...

Foreign Flicks: Superbug- Secret Agent

A German rip-off comedy that's the sequel to a film that I can't get- wow.  That's all you really need to know to understand this movie.  Mind you, it is a lot!  Here's a more interesting summary: The Love Bug was a pretty big hit worldwide.  As such, a guy decided to rip it off for his own movie.  Since they kept making sequels in America, so did he.  There are either five or six of these movies out there, but only two of them are available on Netflix.  Naturally, it's the second and third films!  The plot is simple: our hero is a secret agent who has a computer-controlled car named Dodo (or Dudu in the German credits).  To give you an idea of how obscure the film is, the official DVD release is a VHS-rip with English dubbing (with no options of a German language track).  Will this film be as good as the Disney classic?  Well, the odds are not in its favor.  To see what happens, read on...

After introducing our hero in his floating boat, the film forgets about him for nearly fifteen minutes!  In his place, a plot involving a newly-released man hiding one half of some engraving plates.  A rival seeks it, leading to chaos on the beach.

Our hero shows up to help out, using Dodo's numerous moving parts.  How do these things work?  There's no explanation, but this is a comedy.  Even so, most of his 'joke weapons' would kill these people!

I should also mention that Dodo communicates with our hero via some sort of Wi-Fi device on his belt.  Mind you, the film was made in 1972!  Oh yeah, in spite of this advanced technology, the computer speaks via note cards.

Our hero works for General Services, an all-purpose spy agency that will do anything to help people...provided it's not illegal or something they disapprove of.  Their role in the plate fiasco is key.

After wasting lots of time with 'objects fly around on wires' gags, the movie finally wraps up with a battle on the beach.  Cue more car action!

In addition to that, our hero and the criminal- who is actually an undercover cop, assuming that you care- get involved too.  I'm having Super Fuzz flashbacks!

After wrapping up the plot, our heroes attempt to abandon all their responsibility.  Yea.  Unfortunately for them, the belt was left on the beach, allowing the women to call the car back...from at least 100 feet away!  The End. 

What's German for 'lame?'  The plot of this movie is alright, although the pacing is what kills it.  The plot is simple enough, but it rarely gets going or stays going.  We see the criminal look for our hero...and then just leave, before getting caught.  Our hero eventually shows up...but that's followed by a five-minute scene of wacky prop comedy.  Can you pay attention for more than five minutes?!?  This script feels like it was written by six people, only to be glued back together by a confused child!  The truth is, however, that the lead actor is also the Writer and Director.  That does explain his long absence following the opening, I suppose.  I would say, however, if you can't do both jobs at the same time, why do both jobs?  The movie has some funny moments, but a lot of the repartee is probably lost in the Dubbing.  If you like goofy comedies and want to see a rare one, this is one to check out.  If you don't, it's pretty one-note and strange.  I'll leave you with a great example of lazily re-using props...

 * How does it end up here? *

Up next, Japan brings the wacky in this homage to Kaiju.  Is the comedy broader than the circumference of the Earth though?  Stay tuned...