Moon Over Miami: Demonic Toys 2

After nearly twenty years, who still wants to play with those things?  Where was the demand for a second Demonic Toys film?  I don't know about you, but I saw the last two crossover films and those were pretty lame.  Let's try to approach it with a fresh outlook though.  This is not a sequel to an average movie, but a brand new film...by Full Moon.  This is probably still not going to be good.  This film takes places X years later and features a rich guy looking for another doll.  Given the series' penchant for introducing new dolls for one film and never bringing them back, I'm sure this doll has a bright future ahead of it!  As I mentioned in a previous review, the film connects to another Full Moon film- Hideous.  Did anyone- other than Carl (ILHM) see this one?  It came out in 1997 and is currently O.O.P. on Netflix.  Was I supposed to track that down before watching this one?  Yeah, I'm not doing that.  To find out how much sillier this can get, read on...

In the movie's opening, a random person puts the toys back together.  Not the Bear, of course, since that thing was cool and too expensive to make again.

This man is apparently the rich guy from Hideous.  He dies in that movie, but screw that noise.  Nice face.

I'm amazed that I missed this shitty green screen shot when I first saw it.  I mean, wow.   Sure brings back memories...

This is Divoletto, an old toy that looks demonic.  The thing looks neat, but doesn't talk and serves to just sort of ape what the baby doll does.  Those whirring noises get old too.

Remember how the original film involved a demon using the toys as part of his plan?  Well, this film kind of does that...but the evil lady also takes over a woman...who the toys then try to kill.  Confused?

Character actor Leslie Jordan is here to act like Truman Capote and get killed.  Bonus points for ripping off the death from Final Destination 3.  Sad.

The movie gets all 'Holy Shit- What the Hell is that?!?' in the end when a Demon crawls out of a well.  This doesn't end with two kids fighting?  Gasp!

Unfortunately, the Toys are killed within seconds during the final fight.  They get their heads put in a box...since you'd want to keep the toys that killed five people.  The End.

Go ahead and close that toy chest.  I wanted to like this movie.  Granted, every other Demonic Toys film I'd seen before was not good.  I should also mention that I watched this one first, since Full Moon is not huge on continuity anyhow.  To further illustrate my indifference to this movie, I watched on the same night as Evil Bong 2: King Bong...and fell asleep after forty-odd minutes.  I finished the movie the next day, but the damage was done.  Here's the problem: the Toys are just out-shined by everything else in the film.  The movie has about six major things going on simultaneously, as opposed to focusing on the battle between the Toys and our heroes.  No, we get sub-plots like Final Guy likes Final Girl, Midget Psychic talks to a spirit and Gold-Digging Wife is having an Affair with a Cowboy.  Yes, a Cowboy.  These Toys are just kind of there, even with Full Moon getting a very-minor celebrity to voice the baby doll (who I refuse to name).  These characters are Supporting Actors in their own film.  The movie is full of silly moments, including a bit where the Demon crawling out of the well makes 'stone blocks' bend by leaning on them.  When a film can't even put their own sub-title on the opening scene, I just have to make this face...

Next up, something completely different.  It's Full Moon's foray into all-ages entertainment...but it's really Doctor Who.  Stay tuned...

Moon Over Miami: Demonic Toys

Can an older Full Moon film be better than their recent fare?  To determine that, let's take a look at Demonic Toys.  This movie was so influential that it got a sequel...17 years later.  Granted, the characters appear in Dollman vs. Demonic Toys and Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys.  However, those films are hardly considered canon, the later officially so.  This is coming from a studio that randomly brings characters back from other films- i.e. the scientist from Hideous showing up in Demonic Toys 2- and merging series' in weird ways- connecting Head of the Family and Blood Dolls.  Putting that aside, can this movie turn out to be good?  Well, the plot is a bit confusing, as it involves a demon baby, a bear doll and a guy who sells fried chicken.  What else can I say?  Well, I'll think of something, so why don't you read on...

The film begins with an engaged couple getting ready to do an undercover gun bust.  Are you allowed to work together?  Furthermore, does your girlfriend telling you that she's pregnant signal your imminent death?  Maybe...

This is a fat guy.  He does fat guy thinks like sit around, watch Puppet Master and eat fried chicken at midnight.  Now you see why Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys is not canon, huh?

Wounded, one half of the criminal crawls right into this lit area to get killed by the Toys.  Fun fact: that's Richard Lynch's kid, who was also in Trancers II.

The villain of this movie is a Demon who likes to take the form of a child with a dubbed voice.  They really think that this is scary...

The fat guy gets shot by a baby doll and bitten to death by an evil teddy bear.  I should mention that this film is meant to be scary and not a comedy.

Via flashback, we learn that the Demon was born in 1926, but died.  Naturally, the Satanic Doctors (my future band name) dump the body on some trick-or-treaters, who dump the body in a lot.  Fun Fact: this tradition was invented in the 1950s!  Hi, plot-hole.

With things going his way, the Demon/Kid prepares a ceremony to get himself born in place of the cop's fetus.  Quick question: what's so different about this time that it will work?

After 80-plus minutes of build-up, the movie comes down to a fight between two ten-year olds.  Can you say disappointing?  Oh and the kid is our heroine's unborn child.  The End.

This is nothing to toy around with!  This movie is certainly full of good ideas, but I'm not so keen on how they were executed.  The toys are neat in theory, for example.  They look a lot like real toys, only with a more sinister twist.  Jack Attack- the Jack in a Box- has some neat make-up work done to it and its only real blemish is that it's pretty much the same make-up used for Killjoy.  However, I don't really see a lot of threat from these guys.  They even resort to having the baby doll use a gun to kill someone.  Hell, in their first real kill, it takes them a long, damn time to kill Lynch's son!  Furthermore, how does the robot doll fire real lasers?  Is it a magical thing?  If so, what kind of demon power makes the advanced mechanics needed to create light, focus it and fire it as a projectile.  It's silly- that's all I'm saying!  The scariest things in the movie are these weird little girls who wear gas masks and ride tricycles around.  Unfortunately, they don't do anything more than ride around and point, eventually just vanishing completely.  I did like what they did with the bear near The End, but it was Edited so heavily to cover the suit's flaws that it kind of ruins it.  Ultimately, this is a decent film with decent ideas that could have used some better execution and more money behind it.  Do you think that the sequel will fix these problems, random screenshot from the movie?

Next up, the actual sequel to Demonic Toys.  A random character from another film joins for this movie and the budget goes to shit.  Stay tuned...