Mondo Bizarro vs AI Generated Fake Trailer Pictures!

I stumbled upon this weird trend a while back when collecting Screen Captures for Alien- Romulus.

If you look up the Trailer for a recent Film on Google, you'll find a few of these.

Let me share with you some of the weirdest/worst I found...

1) Deadpool and Wolverine

This Blockbuster got lots of clicks for its Trailers and Clips.
As such, someone both SPOILED a Plot Point and also got one completely wrong.

What's up with that janky Wolverine too?!?

2) Alien- Romulus

This one inspired my search, but I also didn't want this to be the picture that popped up when I posted this.

Anyhow, this one is clearly for someone's weird kink...and also not by someone who has ever seen an Alien Film.

WTF?!?

3) Azrael (2024)

I just covered this Film and this...sure isn't for it.

Maybe- just maybe- this was inspired by a weird AI Prompt and not the Film itself.

Could someone make a Film off of this now?

4) Godzilla x Kong- The New Empire

This one is pure laziness when it comes to using an AI Image Generator.

He's King Kong...so a Crown?  Sure!

5) Captain America- Brave New World

This one gets enough flak from people for daring to have Sam as the new Captain America.

It doesn't need this kind of drivel to 'prove' people right.
Thanks.

6) Mission Impossible- Dead Reckoning (Part Two)

Look- I know that Tom Cruise wants to shoot a Film in orbit.

That said, this is awful.
Look at his head, for starters.

7) Transmorphers- Mech Beasts

They wish that they could make this.

The Asylum's second Transformers rip-off Sequel somehow has a random person saying that THIS picture is from the Movie.

Hell, did they even shoot this Film in 4K?

8) Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

The uncanny valley is a bad place to live.

This one was also made before the official Title was revealed.

This is the scariest Beetlejuice has ever been though. 
Isn't that right, Wax Figure of Jenna Ortega?

9) Superman (2025)

Many, many months of hype and speculation.
A new head of DC Films.
A new start.

Someone...made this.

Do you make these?

Do you know someone who makes them?

A slap is in order.

Good grief!

Misleading Cover Art: Wes Craven's Summer of Fear (1978)

 A week or so back, I covered a Film about the Summer, a Witch and a formerly-Exorcised Star.

While getting images on Google, I came across this more recent Cover made for those Multi-Horror Film Sets and off-brand DVD releases...

Look- you need to sell these things.

This wasn't a huge hit.

Hell, this was only a TV Movie.

Even so, this...doesn't related to anything at all.

There's probably a Film that this is appropriate for.  Use it for that, folks.

Definitely Copyright-Infringing Cover Art: Monster Island (2021)

 China is known for a great many things.

King Kong is not one of them.

In spite of them, the big guy seems to be starring in this 2021 Film...

…I mean, what do I even need to say here?

To be clear, the copyright on Kong is a bit confusing, as the rights are split in some odd way.  Neither owner of said rights is China or someone from there AFAIK.

It's not like nobody else has done their own fake Kong, but this...is pretty blatant, no?

Hell, Kong has been fighting snakes for Decades, going back to the original Film.  He kept it up in the '70s...

Now I'm 99.999% sure that in the Film he's not called Kong.

Still...I mean...damn.

Copyright-Infringing Cover Art?: Boltneck (aka Teen Monster) {2000}

 Universal is not a company you want to mess around with!

In 2000, we got a Direct-to-Video Film which attempted to do a 'modern update' on Frankenstein.

How they did it sure seemed familiar in a very important way...

So let's do the Checklist for all of you Lawyers out there...

Green Skin
Head Sewing
Bolts in the Neck

Yep, none of that is from the Book and ALL of that is from the Universal Frankenstein Films.

Also the Title- yeesh.

Is there a better Title to use?

Yes.  It's generic as hell.
Also Ryan Reynolds was 24 when he played the part.

Seriously though, did they get sued over this?

They had to, right?  
Right?!?

Bonus Post: The Bonkers Cast of Ed Wood's 'I Woke Up Early The Day I Died' (1998)

 So I had a problem when covering my 6,500th Post- too much content!

I had to talk about the Film's Plot to summarize it (as much as you can).

That left no room to talk much about how random and bonkers the Cast for this thing is.

Pick the most oddball people you could to be in a 1998 Film made in Los Angeles and see how many ended up in...

Aside from Billy Zane (again- a year removed from Titanic), you get lots of Genre Actors, rising Stars and random-ass people.

For instance...

Bud Cort (from Bates Motel) as a Shop Owner who has clothes stolen, but keeps the high heels.

Taylor Negron plays a Cop in the Street, while Andrew McCarthy plays a Cop in the Cemetery.

Other Cops include Conrad Brooks- naturally-, Character Actor Mark Boone Junior (aka the guy Batman says 'Where are they?!? to), Wings' Steven Weber and Leif Garrett!

Let's throw in Rick(y) Schroder too, since it's the same year that he joined NYPD Blue.  I guess he transferred.

One big missed opportunity- YET ANOTHER Cop is played by Brent Hinkley, who played Conrad Brooks in Ed Wood.  So, of course, he doesn't interact with the *actual* Conrad Brooks.

The Funeral Scene brings us Twin Peaks' Carel Struycken and....

*As noted in the Review, the Film uses the Music from Psycho, which makes getting the lady from The Birds extra funny to me.*

Another famous 'That guy!' shows up in the form of Will Patton (most recently the good Cop in Halloween Kills and The Forever Purge)

The Family he targets from said Funeral includes the aforementioned Actress, John Ritter and Sandra Bernhard, who gets an abrupt off-screen death.

Throughout the Film, we get some young Talent appearing here to do basically nothing...

River and Joaquin's Sisters Summer & Rain play Bartenders, while the latter also subs in for a role that they somehow didn't/forgot to fill.

Tara Reid is seen briefly in a Nightclub.  Insert Joke Here.

Christina Ricci- in her I'M AN ADULT NOW phase- is a young Prostitute.

As far as more respected, older Actors, we have a few to note...

Besides Ron Perlman (who served as my Stinger), we have Eartha Kitt.

We also have Karen Black (who works alongside Dana Gould) at the Carnival.

Last, but certainly not least in terms of historical importance, we have Vampira.

She...just kind of sits in the Lobby reminding me of Carolyn Jones in Eaten Alive.

I'm glad she got a part in Ed Wood's 'last Film,' but could she possibly do something?

Oh and here's a fun one- Johnathan Taylor Thomas (aka the middle Son on Home Improvement) is the kid (alongside Rain Phoenix) who finds Tippi's body when it lands.

I can see why he turned down being in the Show's finale if he had juicy roles like this.

Anyone NOT in this Film?!?

Compare/Contrast: 'King Kong vs. Godzilla'- US Version to Japanese Version

 Awhile back, I re-watched the classic Toho Film that pit King Kong against Godzilla.
Of course, that was the US Version.

Let's compare and contrast...

and

Like the original Godzilla, there was a bit of a delay between the 2 Films coming out.  It's not like today where they just make a Subbed or Dubbed Version quickly- it was a Year.

Instead, a US Company 'made' a Version of the Film that became the predominant copy around the World.

Ishiro Honda was apparently not great about preserving the original copy, supposedly Editing from the Negative!

In 2019, the Criterion Collection Version featured a good copy of the Japanese Version.  Here's what's different...

The Japanese Version has this guy appear in the beginning (and never again) to start pushing the idea of picking sides in the fight.

In the US Version, this guy at the UN appears to brief us on Godzilla (figuring that we'd all forgotten about the last 2 Films released in the US just a few years earlier) and King Kong (who was last seen in a US re-release in 1952).

In a weird addition, they will sometimes mention and show an 'International Space Station' (that has no bearing on the Plot).

It is Stock Footage from The Mysterians, a different Toho Film.  Weird.

Oh and this guys pops up WAY TOO MANY TIMES.

Him and another guy (some sort of Science Expert) pop up between big Scenes to explain what is happening, since I guess they think the American Kids are too dumb.

They even show up at the Finale to tell us about Kong swimming away...which is on-screen.

There's also one Scene which is played straight- in which one of the Characters is nervous about catching Kong- that is then re-dubbed comedically to have him 'complain about the corns on his feet.'
Huh?

The Soundtrack was also replaced with lots of good (but stock) Music from Universal Films like The Creature from the Black Lagoon and others.  Necessary?

They also cut Scenes of people betting on the fight.  Why?

Lastly, for the finale, they didn't think that there was enough going on, so they inserted disaster footage from, again, The Mysterians to heighten things.

Lastly, the final shot has Kong swimming away, while Godzilla is absent.  
In the Japanese Version, we hear both roars to end the Film.
In the American Version, we only hear Kong's.  I guess 'our guy' won more?

***

The American Version- the predominant version even in 2021- sure is different, huh?

Were these changes necessary?  No.
Were they all bad?  I guess not.
Should you check out the Japanese Version?  Yes.

Oddly-Familiar Cover Art: The Night Eats the World

 Some time during the Holiday Haze, I was looking up Horror Films on various Streaming Sites and found a Poster that seemed...familiar.

See if you can tell what the 'inspiration' might be...

Paris- check.
Upside down World- check.
Red Background- check.

Figure it out?

Well, we go back to 2014 for...

So...yeah.

Granted- there are slight differences in the scope and scale of it.
Yes, they added the Zombie Hands Graphic (which feels like it was copied from some other Poster).

Given the year of this one (2018), am I wrong to think that they might have cribbed the 'falling upwards' visual from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse?  
Is that a stretch?

Even so...come on.

Right?

Incidentally, there are other Versions of this Poster, but that's for a different Post.

4,500th Post Special!: Help! I'm Trapped In a Professional Wrestler's Body (Book Review)

 I love Wrestling, which is why I co-host a Podcast about it.
I love silly Stories, which is why I do this Site.
I also love stuff that is from my childhood, whether I personally experienced it or not.
I sometimes love Books, although I'm way behind on them.

So what should I do for my 4,500th Post?

Between 1993 and 2001, Todd Strasser wrote SEVENTEEN BOOKS in the 'Help!  I'm Trapped' Series.

The premise: a High School Teacher invents a Machine that is supposed to help make you smarter.

Instead, it lets you swap minds with people.

Whoops.

The Book in question revolves around Wrestling, so that's why I picked it.  Will I be confused 15 Books into the Series?

Yeah, these were made for Middle Schoolers, so I'm good.

Like most Shows that add Wrestling into themselves, we suddenly learn that our Leads have *always* been into it.  Did it come up in the last 14 Books?

There's also an odd bit of continuity involving the Device being broken in the last one...but just fixed by one of the Students for this one.

Couldn't be bothered to explain it better, eh Todd?

The Story proper has them attend a local Show, but they need a Chaperone.

The only one available- the Science Teacher, who they find to be lame.
Yes, the guy that made them the device.  Kids can be jerks, after all.

To add to the conflict, a local Bully is going, so they have to avoid him.

Also a girl who spreads gossip is ALSO going, so they can't be seen with the Teacher.

Again- kids are jerks.

One of the kids brought the device to the Show and swaps bodies with the guy from the book Cover.  Well, kind of.  That guy is *sort of* in this Story, since the Artist kind of just made stuff up for him.

They realize what happened and swap bodies with another Wrestler...and his Dad, a Harley Race-type guy.

It all ends in a silly Tag Team Match and everyone switches back.

The old, broken Wrestler did like a younger body...but it belongs to a Science Teacher, so f#%k that!

To wrap up the side conflicts, the Bully got distracted by everything that happened and didn't see them.

As for the girl, one of the Wrestlers fell on her during the 'match' and she got head trauma, forgetting everything from the night.  No, really.  Ouch!

So as a far-too-old-for-this guy, is it fair for me to critique this Book?  Probably.

That said, it is goofy, loosely-connected to the World of Wrestling (it came out in 1999) and seems to be written by someone who's just heard about it for a Book he needs to write.  It's possible that it is so shallow due to its intended market too, to be fair.

The Chapters are all like 3 pages long too, which is not uncommon for these Books.  Whenever I get around to reading 2061: Odyssey Three, I'm guessing that they won't be so short.

It's dumb.  It's silly.  I spent like 50 cents on it, so I got my money's worth.

Since I'm doing this in October, I might as well highlight the one Horror-themed one in the Series...

As a fun aside, I read this to pass the time on my first Flight in 15 years.  It took less than an hour, but it did the trick.

Quick Review: Wonder Woman 1967

 Before we get to 1984, we need to take a quick stop along the way.  Specifically, the year 1967 where things are...interesting...

In 1967, a love-lorn Diana is living with her Mother...in the City.

I guess you can get tired of Paradise Island after long enough.

Wonder Woman has to go save the day, but her Mother insists that it is too dangerous...and she needs to eat.

Mothers, am I right?

She's also upset that Diana is single, which sure can't be a new argument when Steve died in 1919.

Finally, Diana quick-changes into her outfit and...wait- we have a Narrator.

I'm getting Adam West flashbacks here.

Anyhow, she changes to go save the day...before stopping to do the old Mirror Gag.

She flies off into action and...that's it.

Damn- I wanted to see live-action Egg-Fu!  Oh, you tease.

Well, this certainly lacks the thrills and grandeur of the last Film.  It's also way shorter, just barely hitting four and a half minutes.  On the plus side, Gal Gadot disappears into this role (as does her accent).

Oh and APRIL FOOLS!

The Story of the (Once) Missing 'Batman: The Brave and the Bold' Episode

 What happens when you push the Standards & Practices Department one step too far?

Batman: The Brave and the Bold was a fun Cartoon based on the Comic Book of the same name.
In it, Batman teamed up with a Hero (or Heroes) in a Silver Age (aka the 1960s) Adventure that would have wacky moments, strong action and a self-aware silliness not seen since the Adam West Batman Show.

The subject today is 'The Mask of Matches Malone,' the 17th Episode of Season 2.

  
So why am I watching it on the Season 3 DVD?

A conflict arises as Batman tries to stop Catwoman from stealing a magic artifact- that gives the wearer 9 Lives-, while Huntress and Black Canary are trying to stop Two-Face from stealing the same thing.

He gets away, setting up a conflict between the ladies.
Happy Woman's History Month!

Two-Face sets up a criminal Auction for the item, so Batman goes in undercover as Matches Malone, his go-to faux criminal nom de guerre.

During the battle, he gets hit on the head and, since he's a Cartoon Character, he gets amnesia.

Matches takes the artifact and begins a life of crime!

The trio try to get him to come to his senses, since Batman as a criminal is as effective as he is when he's a hero.  Also he's somewhat immortal (for the time being).

This leads to a Musical Number called 'The Birds of Prey' wherein they sing about how great they are compared to their male counterparts.

One line involves talking about how Aquaman is courageous, but he has, well, a small fish.

In the original airing, the line is punctuated by a single finger being waved.

That was the last straw and the Episode was NOT put on the Season 2 DVDs (it was released in 2 Parts).

An Edit was made for future airings wherein they cut to a fish tank instead (admittedly a creative edit).
This Version, by the way, IS on HBO Max, so the Episode isn't lost now...it just was for like a year.

If you want to know about the actual Story, Batman 'dies' as Matches and is back to normal.  It sort of makes sense (in a funny comic book kind of way).

That's it really.

If you're making a Kid's Show, don't try to get away with jokes about characters having small members, I guess.

Otherwise, you'll end up as a 'Special Feature' on a later DVD, hidden away for only weirdos like me to care about.

A simple reminder that Cartoon Shows/Episodes being pulled isn't a 2021 thing- it's a constant thing.