Tubi Thursday: Next of Kin (1982)

In Australia, the water flushes down the toilet the opposite way.
In Australia, their Thrillers take a long time to get going.

This is...

Amazing cover.

A young woman is back in Town to take ownership of her Mother's Estate in rural Australia.

It is an old building that is used as an Old Folks Home.

She does her best to help the people there, in spite of her lack of experience.

It goes alright until they find a dead, bloated guy in the bathtub.

Throughout the Film, she has weird dreams and visions as she uncovers and reads her Mother's Diary.

Things start to happen just like that.

Who's that at the window?

She also reunites with an ex-boyfriend.  
He's kind, handsome and...wait...why does that face look familiar?

Oh right- it's John Jarratt about 2 Decades before he became the worst Tourism Ambassador in Wolf Creek (and various Sequels/Adaptations).

Eventually, we finally get to Act 3 and everything comes to a head.

As it turns out, her Aunt (mentioned throughout the Diary under her initials) escaped from an Asylum that her Mom put her away in.

Her and her son Kelvin (a truly Australian name) try to kill her as this is sudden a Giallo!

She wounds her Aunt and escapes to the Diner from the beginning.  Chekhov's Set?

Kelvin follows and crashes his truck through the wall.
She has to finish him off in a fireball of a wreck.

Crikey!  
The End.

A Film that really requires you to be patient.

This one takes its sweet time letting you settle into the location, meet the Characters and pick up the subtle hints.

It's not like nothing happens.  Stuff happens just very, very slowly.

I can appreciate what they are going for.

That said, they could have easily had actually notable things happen more frequently in Act 1 and 2.
Act 3 is great.  I just wish that I didn't have to wait so long for it.

I love Giallo.
This is similar, but made to be more about mood than substance.

It's a well-made, but very glacially-paced Film that is worth the watch- as long as you're in the mood for something slow and moody.

A Film that is quite well made.  That said, it takes an eternity to get to the juicy stuff so bear that in mind.

Shudder Day: Beast of War (2025)

 As a fan of Sharks in Movies and an avid avoider of them in real life, these kinds of Movies speak to me.

Plus Netflix has a Shark Movie out, so why not finally get around to covering...

It is 1942 in Austalia.

A young man is training to be a Soldier in WW2, but is haunted by some past trauma.

Even so, he manages to bond with the group during the training.

This is going to be the best part of their...

...and their boat was sunk, many were killed and the survivors are stranded in the ocean on a makeshift raft.

Man, War really is hell, eh?

Oh and there's a shark hanging around too.

Yes, this is 'inspired' by real events.
That's a nice, catch-all term that somehow implies that Movies like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre happened for real.

Can the stranded soldiers work together to take out the beast?

Will the rigors of simply trying to survive be the end of them?

Did I seriously make it through this whole summary without mentioning Vegemite?

To find out the answer to 2 of those questions, stream it now.

A Film that aims to be one thing and it does it pretty darn well!

This one is not epic in scope.
This one is not about big battles.

Instead, the Film (80% of it really) is about how these guys survive (or not) together in this insanely trying time!

The whole thing was shot in a giant water tank and lit so that you never see the edges.  Good, simple stuff.

The Shark appears minimally in the grand scheme of things, but that also means that you never get used to it.  As opposed to one of the 705 Syfy Channel Shark Films where it pops up every few minutes in all of its (usually bad) CGI glory.

It is funny how things go in circles though.  This Film is clearly inspired in many (good) ways by Jaws and also claims to be 'inspired by' the events retold by Quint in Jaws.

Beast of War is an engaging and pretty tight 80ish minute Film.  Watch it for its own merits and don't expect, say, what this Fake AI Trailer Image implies...

That's just Mega Shark, guys!

A Film that makes great use of a simple premise and limited locations.  A worthy homage to Jaws and other Films like that.

Shudder-day: Dangerous Animals (2025)

 Let's go to the Land Down Under.

Is this Film good enough to redeem the former Captain Boomerang?

Let's find out...

Jai Courtney plays a guy named Tucker (or Tuck) is a guy you hire to people you 'swim' with sharks in a cage.

He's a modern day Captain Ron (will anyone under 40 get this joke), but...

He's also a Serial Killer.

He tortures ladies and then feeds them to sharks.

You're no chum of mine!

He kidnaps our Film's Heroine one night and takes him out to his boat.

Alongside another future victim, she waits and plans an escape.

He's going to feed the other lady to a shark and make her watch.

It will be her turn soon enough...

Can she find a way to escape from his boat?
Is he truly the 'apex predator' that he thinks of himself as?

Or will this guy rise to the occasion to save the day?

My money is on the sharks.
No offense.

To find out, stream it now....

An intense and visceral Film.

Kudos to Australia for raising the bar.  We in America tend to get lots of CGI Shark Movies via Syfy or, well, the one remaining Polonia Brother.

This one is a good mix of Genres as Courtney really nails the intense killer vibe.  He can be emotionless in the right moments and very angry in the other moments.

I won't SPOIL it, but he has as a great weakness that our Heroine exploits to save her life (for the time being).

The sharks work well here as an existential threat just waiting to be used.  They are like a loaded gun sitting on the edge of desk.
You know that they will be used...it's just a matter of when.

If you like the sort of Character Driven Thriller that this one gives you, take a look.  As for this Poster though.... I have questions...

A Film that mixes human killers and sharks- just not in a dumb, sci-fi way.  It's a breath of fresh air.

Aquatic Killers: Rogue (2007)

 The long-awaited look at the OTHER Crocodile Film from 2007.  Back in...December (?!?), I looked at Primeval and planned to jump right to this one.

Here we are with me finally covering Rogue, a 2007 Film about a Crocodile...in Australia.

This one is also based on real events...in a very loose manner.  A rogue crocodile was loose in the '70s, but didn't attack anyone on record.

This Film is set in the Present (of 18 years ago) and has it doing just that.

Will the fact that water runs down the sink in the opposite direction there make a difference?
Will people realize that I'm joking and know that isn't a real thing?

To find out, read on...

Our Cold Open has a creature in the Outback killed by a Crocodile.

I guess this was made for the 6 people who went to see this and DID NOT KNOW WHAT A CROCODILE WAS.

Was I too sarcastic there?

The actual Story involves a man- Alias' Michael Vartan- who is temporarily stuck in rural Australia.

He's a travel writer without a ride and sees all about how crocodiles in the area are dangerous.

So, naturally, he goes on a Wildlife River Cruise.

I mean, obviously.

What could go wrong?

The Cruise goes alright for the random group of Tourists and Townies.

We get a family with a young Daughter, a snooty guy and an older couple.

They are also bothered by some locals...and Sam Worthington?!?

They go off on a side route when they spot a flare.

Their boat is attacked by an unseen creature (what could it be?) and stranded.

The group freaks out over their new situation.

Things get worse when one of the men is grabbed off-screen (and silently) by a creature.

Joined by Worthington (whose boat was also crushed), they work a plan to cross the lake.

It goes poorly and they finally see the creature- it's a giant crocodile!

Vartan comes up with a plan to anchor the crocodile with some bait.

It works long enough for the main group to get away, but the Guide- Radha Mitchell- gets grabbed.

She's surely dead, right?

Well, no.

Despite eating everyone (and everything) so far, it dragged the wounded lady to its den.

Vartan is lead to her by the dog- thank goodness they didn't use it as bait- and now has to sneak away from the apex predator!

After a serious struggle, he sets a dangerous trap for the crocodile.

It manages to stake itself through the head while trying to eat him.

In the aftermath, he takes her to be rescued and we see that he made the wall of the bar for his heroics.
The End.

A pretty good Film that maximizes the small amount of creature FX it actually has.

In total, the crocodile appears for just about 6 minutes on-screen.

This is no Jaws- that's a hard bar to reach- but they do a good job with it.

The human drama is decent enough, with all of the characters feeling pretty real. Most of them eventually get a moment or two to stand out as more than just really simple characters.

Hell, even Sam Worthington gets an arc!

The pacing of this one is interesting as it gets past the initial setup- stuck on the inlet- by about the hour mark and spends the right of the time with Vartan in the den.

My own critique is that Radha Mitchell is basically nothing but a prop after the attack.  I'm not sure how I'd have her help, but she's essentially the same as if he had to lug a briefcase out of the den.

Do something.

In any event, this one is a more balanced Film to me than Primeval, despite it making far, far less money.

Speaking of money, Worthington is not the only supporting player in this one who would go on to star in a Film that made over a billion dollars...

Next up, I go to my 'Digital Vault' for a Disney Film that is somehow not streaming.  What secret is hiding in The Woods?  Stay tuned...

Shark-er Week: The Reef- Stalked (2022)

 In honor of Shark Week, let's see some Sharks.  Before I get to the dumb ones, let's check out a serious one.

I've been neglecting Shudder due to work, so let's fix that.

A group of friends love to go out diving.

They are in Australia, to be fair, so it is that or judging whether or not something is a knife.

Faster than you can say Hereditary, tragic strikes two of them as one is killed and the other finds the body.

Some amount of time later, the survivor reunites with her friend and her younger sister- who has never gone with them before- to go out.

So why does Sis look nervous now?

Oh right- the shark.

It's not a Vampire or a Ghost or a House, nor is it radioactive or 'swimming through sand' (in various fashions).

It's just a shark...but it will eat you!

Our Heroines don't have much in the way of tools and the Shark is, well, an apex predator.

Can anyone survive?

To find out, stream it now.

So, let's be clear- this isn't quite what is advertised.  A Movie Poster that exaggerates details to sell you- stop me if you've heard of such a thing before!

Seriously though, you do need to know that this is much more of a Thriller than the typical 'Giant CGI Shark Films' out there.  I don't say that judgmentally about them, mind you.  Well, probably the ones by Mark Polonia, because, I mean, it's Mark Polonia.

Just know that this is a human drama featuring people in peril from a singular shark and it doesn't fly or have multiple heads.

That said, I did enjoy it quite a bit.  The Stock Music is still good (hence why it is Stock) at building up suspense.  As long as you expect the right thing- sudden scares and/or attacks-, you should enjoy this one.

I say this as someone who's on record as not liking Black Water...which is from the same Director.  Incidentally, he also made The Reef and a second Black Water Film.  I think he might only have one idea, perhaps?

Regardless, I liked this one better than any of the People Stuck in One Place Horror Films like BW or Open Water 2.  I also love this crazy Japanese Poster, especially since every Shark is Jaws there.

A fun use of a small Cast and one deadly creature.  Just know not to expect The Meg and you'll be fine.

Shudder Sunday: Blood Vessel (2020)

 A choice had to be made- which Blood Film to do (first)?

Would it be Blood Quantum (as in the smallest amount of blood)?
Would it be Blood Vessel (the one with 2 meanings)?

I went with the pun and the promise of a Creature Feature.
Did I pick correctly?  Let's see...

In 1945, a Lifeboat full of random Survivors- conveniently they are all from different Countries...but speak English fluently- is adrift at Sea.

They find a Nazi Ship to seek shelter on.

As they explore the Ship, they find some dead bodies and what looks like a clear attempt to make it so that nobody can leave?

What is going on?

They eventually find a missing, but seemingly-somewhat-feral girl.

If she's so innocent, why does the guy they find on board try to shoot her?!?

I'm trying really hard not to SPOIL anything on this one.

As such, I'll just end with a tease about what secrets lie deeper in the Ship.

I really want to say more...but I won't.  

To find out, stream the Film now.

An enjoyable Film for sure.  The Film doesn't exactly break the mold.  It gives you an historical version of a fairly-common Film Plot.

For instance, I've seen Ghost Ship and Death Ship, not to mention Below & Triangle.  In fact, it arguably gives you a slightly-tweaked version of a tale that still- to my knowledge- has yet to be adapted.  If you know the Film, I think you know what I mean.

The Film gives you some pretty basic Characters, but does give many of them some added depth.  One of them is chopped up before they even get on the Ship, so he obviously doesn't.  It's almost a shame that some of them get their stories ended when they do.

Without SPOILing what it is, the secret of the ship is great.  You can probably guess it- and Shudder's art will reveal it- but the execution is top notch.  Some don't look the design of the creatures, but I dug it.  It's a version of them that they we get far less than the more romantic (and cheaper) take.  Big plus.

Ultimately, the Film delivers what you'd hope for, with some twists along the way.  While its nothing major and unique, Vessel is a good time.  Now is it red out or is it just me?

If you're in the mood for a Thriller that is more of what you like, check it out.  It doesn't have too many unique aspects, but it is fun all the same.

Tubi Thursday: Body Melt (1993)

 Sometimes a Title just calls out to you.  In this case, it said 'Hey, watch me.'

That was like 5 months ago.  I'm finally doing it.

Let's see how Splatter Horror was done in the Land Down Under...

In a weird Opening, we see a man injected with a drug post coitus.

The woman with him narrates about him 'losing his nerve,' so she injects him with a drug that will kill him.

He tries to make it to the future victims...but things don't work out for him.

It all relates to a company pumping people in a cul-de-sac full of strange chemicals and pills.

What's the harm?

Read the Title, silly!!!

A B-Plot involves two young men from said place stopping at a Rest Stop, which turns out to be occupied by a crazy man and his inbred children.

This goes on for A LONG TIME and only becomes relevant to the Plot right before the end.

The main Plot- which shows up about 45 minutes in- involves more of the Test Subjects going to the main Facility.

As you can see, it is well-guarded.

Once we get to closer to the Hour mark, the crazy stuff finally starts to happen quite frequently.

As the Title implies, you will see bodies melt, bodies mutate and body parts explode.

I...can't even tell you what is in this guy's mouth.
Trust me.

Will the people behind this get away with everything?
Will the Cops (who are always a Scene behind) solve the case?
Will anyone be left to celebrate?

To find out, stream the weird-ass Film.

It's like someone saw Society and Brain Dead, but thought there wasn't enough splatter.  Did they actually make a good Film in which to contain all of their splatter ideas?  Well...no.

The Film was made by first-time (officially) Director Phillip Brophy, who was part of a Punk Band (who did the Soundtrack).  The Film, in turn, is weird, random and very unfocused.  It doesn't quite know what the real Story should be...so it just focuses on every random thing.

If you watch these Films for the crazy Practical Effects and Splatter, it won't disappoint...with a caveat.  As noted, you'll have to wait a bit for the big, crazy moments and dark humor.  They are...something, that's for sure.

If you like weird, random Splatter mixed with lots of dark humor, it's worth a look.  If seeing a person's face explode isn't for you, then this Film isn't either.

A weird Film that isn't a technical masterpiece.  What it is, however, is a strange bit of Splatter fun for those into that kind of thing.