Shudder Day: The Mortuary Collection (2019)

 As a connoisseur of Horror Anthology Films, I'm actually surprised that I've missed this one.

Let's make up for lost time with my Review of...

Clancy Brown runs a Mortuary- naturally- and he has a Help Wanted sign out front.

After a kid's funeral, a young lady is hanging around and asks for a job.

He tells her that he has a Library full of stories about how people ended up in his care...

In the first Segment, a thieving woman gathers her ill gotten wares in the bathroom.

However, there's a danger hiding behind the mirror!

The young lady is less than impressed with this tale.

As such, he tells her another- 'Unprotected.'

A dirty young man- Jacob Elordi- is part of a Fraternity that focuses on hooking up with chicks.
So, a normal Fraternity.

After he hooks up with a young lady without protection, he starts to feel...different.

After a brief bit in the Mortuary, we get the third segment- Till Death.

A man marries a woman and she goes into a seemingly irreversible vegetative state.

A Doctor- the same one who saw Elordi- gives him a way out.

Taking it, however, won't be as easy as he hoped.

Another bit at the Mortuary sheds more light on the new hire before she tells a story of her own- The Babysitter Murders.

A young woman battles a stranger in the House after hearing about a breakout at the Asylum.

Of course, there are twists and turns galore.

The finale is the end of our Framing Device.

The truth about all parties comes out and fate changes for them all.

To find out more, stream it now.

A very different kind of Anthology Film- and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

A typical one of these has disparate Stories with a Theme throughout.  A more modern approach is making up the Film out of Segments by many different Directors.

This one is more like the former, having one single Director and a general Theme.
It's also the 2nd one of these I've watched about a Mortician telling tales to someone.

In fact, the last Story is just a Short Film made a few years earlier by the same Director.

With one Director, you get little throughlines and connections, which I like.

The Doctor in every Segment (save the Bathroom one) is one of the guys from the 'Progressive Helps You From Turning Into Your Parents' Ads, so that was a nice refrain.

The Segments were a bit varied in both story and setting, but not direction.  If that's alright with you, great.

As a group of segments, I've seen better.
As a singular Film, it looked pretty good.

Will this face help me with the algorithm?

An Anthology Film that is more of a sampler of a Director's work than anything.  It's still quite fun overall, especially with Clancy Brown in it.

Shudder Day: Children of the Corn (2020)

 Why let a Global Pandemic stop you from making yet another Remake?

This is the 2nd Remake of Children of the Corn, which was shot in 2020.
It was technically released in 2023, which makes that even more pointless.

A strange kid walks out of a Cornfield and talks to his Sister.

After that, he kills the Adults in the House.

A bit later, a hostage situation involving the armed kid ends with the adults pumping in a gas used to knock out cattle.

All of the kids die.

The girl outside (Eden) is a bit radicalized goes a bit crazy.

The corn in the Town is dying.
The Adults plan to take a Government subsidy to make up for the loss.

The kids in Town- especially Eden- are upset about not being heard and/or being ignored.

Eden leads a revolt- a bloody one!

Off-screen, she managed to capture all of the Adults and kills a few as well.

Our good Lead- Boleyn- tries to make peace, but the kids keep up the killing.

Can Eden be stopped before all of the Adults are killed?
Is she full-on crazy?

Or is she too far gone?

Once you spill blood, it's hard to stop...or so I hear, if any Police might be reading this.

To find out what happens, stream it now.

The Film has moments.  There is some good Drama here.

I wanted to like it.

My complaint about later Corn Films is that they don't feel like they belong.  Whether they didn't have corn or didn't have killer kids, something was off.

This has both.

I just wish that this was better.

Our new villain Eden is good.  I don't necessarily know how deadly she would be, but I liked her in the role.

Boleyn here isn't bad, but I just didn't buy into how she stood there so long and let things happen.

The biggest thing is that they just gloss over key details- like how they captured all of the Adults- and then kind of disappointed with the reveal involving He Who Walks (Not Behind the Rows in this one).

This feels closer to the Book in a good way, but still isn't as good as it could be.
This German Title, however, is fun.

A Film that is both true to the premise...and also not.  I want to give points for effort, but the results are only so-so.

Tubi Thursday: The Brain That Wouldn't Die (2020)

 One of the most famous B-Movies got a Remake...and I didn't know about it?!?

I'm late here, but it is still free on Tubi, so let's check it out...

This Film is sometimes a Shot-for-Shot, Line-for-Line Remake.

We ger the cheesy dialogue setting up our Hero/Villain and poor Jan.

Other times, we get a random sight gag with lots of blood shooting onto the guy's face.
Weird.

He drives very fast and dangerously to his Dad's Summer Home, missing signs literally warning him to slow down.

He doesn't and the crash somehow doesn't injure him, but does cleanly decapitate Jan.

He takes it there and pumps her full of science and now she can survive as a head...for now.

And yes, it still bugs me after all of these years that it is called The BRAIN That Wouldn't Die and not The HEAD That Wouldn't Die.

The Doctor is now going to find a body for his lady and...he's just the creepiest creep there is.

Enjoy the 'wacky' hijinks as his plan to *check notes* decapitate a stranger doesn't go right.

L-l-adies.

The Film mostly plays out beat for beat with, again, the actual Dialog reused verbatim.
As someone who still owns the MST3K Episode on VHS, I'm sure of this.

That said, this Remake has a few expansions, turns and a neat coda to end things one.

You won't hear me complaining too much.

A Film that I'm of two heads...I mean, minds about.

On one head...hand, it is a pretty good version of the same Film with a satirical tone.  The creepy dialog is not changed much.

On the other hand...head, why just do the Film again?  It is a Cult Classic after all.

It's a tricky thing because the market for this is people like me who know the Film.  You're just mostly doing it again.
A much smaller demographic is those that may have heard of the Film, but never seen.  That, for instance, 10% of the 6% of people will be pleased.

There is a Bill Cosby joke that is perhaps not in good taste though.

At its best, this feels like a loving homage to this kind of bizarre cinema a la The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.  It's much less of a bad attempt to recreate the style a la House of the Wolfman.

This one- like the original Film itself- walks a fine line between being cheesy fun and genuinely-disturbing at times.
If you're a fan of the original, give it a try...but don't get too upset please.

A Film that has genuine moments of adding silly levity to a strange, dark Film.  At other times, it is just the same...so what's the point here?

Streaming Standard: Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

 Any trip where I stay in a Motel requires me to watch a Movie.
I was only in one for a single night, but I still found time for this...

Ms. Moretz plays a woman who hops a ride during WWII out of New Zealand.

She has vague, but firm orders and a mysterious parcel that nobody is allowed to open.

The guys- save one- treat her like dirt, sticking her down in the rear gun canopy.

It's basically like sitting in a see-through canopy while you look DOWN at the Ocean.

They soon find out that she can hear them on the in-plane Radio.

One of them is Byron from VLDL.

She spots something, but they don't believe it.

She's a dame...a broad...a chick with a bad wing.

Even when she spots a Japanese Zero- and saves them- they still don't believe her.
Why?

Well, she just spotted a Gremlin, which is basically a giant bat/rat monster here.

Nobody believes in them, since The Twilight Zone didn't come out until 1959 (and the Episode you're thinking about is from 1963).

Can she convince them of the threat before it is too late?

What is the secret of what she's transporting?

Oh yeah and what exactly is the difference between a 'dame' and a 'broad?'

To find out the answer to 2 of the 3 questions, stream it now (on Netflix at time of writing).

A very enjoyable and fresh Film.  I'm happy to be surprised!

The Film isn't the most original Film in the World- obviously- but does a mix of things you don't see all that often.

How often do you get Period Horror Films- let alone ones that aren't set in the 1970s?

Early in the Film, they really deal with the Sexism of this Era, especially in a group that can be truly toxic in their masculinity.  It doesn't shy away from it.

Once it becomes more of an Action Film and Creature Feature, it keeps the same Themes.

Does it get a bit silly at times?  Yes.
Do I still love it?  Kind of, yeah.  If not more for it.

Shadow is a Film of two parts.  You may like one more than the other, but they were both interesting/fun to me.

Besides, any Film with animated foreshadowing is good in my book.

A Film that puts a new spin on a familiar- if forgotten- creature.  How much you like the Film will depend on how you feel about the transition about halfway through.

Holiday Flix- Top Gun- Maverick (2022)

 A Film that has the need- the need for speed.  That's why it took 4 years to finally come out in Theaters after they shot it.

This is Top Gun- Maverick, the Film that 'saved' Theaters.  That was the hype, wasn't it?

Thanks to my Illinois Family for getting me a free Digital Copy of this one- and the Original too.

Tom Cruise is back in the role of Maverick after (roughly) 30 years and he's here to teach the next Generation how to do it.  That's what Flight School is for, but.... shut up.

In all seriousness, the Plot involves a super-dangerous mission and they want him to prepare them for it.  Can he stop being a, well, maverick and learn to teach?

To find out how this Legacy Sequel turned out, read on...

In 2018 (when this one was actually shot), Maverick is testing a new plane, but the Military wants to put the money into drones.

Thanks, Obama!

He is told that they will only extend the program if they can get it to go Mach-10.

He does it- as the General arrives to shut things down- and then goes to 10.1 and the plane explodes.

Of course he's fine- why would you ask?

See you never again, Ed Harris.

The mostly-offscreen Iceman (Val Kilmer) keeps Maverick in the Navy, as he apparently is the Commander of the Atlantic Fleet.

He gets him a new job- as a Trainer for Top Gun (which is still NOT a real thing).

He's got to teach a whole group of Navy Pilots, including a bunch of future MCU Stars.  The first meeting of Sentry, Mr. Fantastic and new Falcon- neat!

The key person is Rooster, aka the son of his Wingman Goose.

Assuming that the timeline is 1-to-1 here, he's pushing 40 (as we see him as a 4–7-year-old kid in the Flashback) here.
Also, his Mom died between Films, since we couldn't bring back Leading Ladies from Top Gun.

The Mission is next to Impossible (see what I did there?) and he trains them for it. 

 
He also makes them simulate dog fights against him, in spite of the fact that the whole point of the mission is to get out BEFORE the enemy planes arrive.

Oh, well- an excuse for 'the old dog' to teach the young ones some new tricks.

Maverick does have a support system, including his old buddy Sundown (recast from Clarence Gilyard, since he mostly-retired from Acting in 2002).

However, hee keeps butting heads with another authority figure in the form of John Hamm.

He's never happy, until he's proven wrong by Maverick (naturally).

Back in his old stomping grounds, Maverick reunites with Charlotte to.... oh right, she aged differently than Cruise, so she's out.

Instead, he reunites with Penny, who he totally has a long-term relationship with.  Honest!

The whole thing builds up to the mission, which is to keep some Country from getting nukes.  What country, you ask?

Anyhow, it all comes down to Cruise leading the Pilots to save the day.

Can they do it?

To find out, stream it now.

A pretty enjoyable Film that really excels when you see them fly.

Did I care all that much about whether Maverick would get to keep flying?
What about Rooster and his drama?
Whether Maverick will end up with Penny?

Not that much.

They spent lots of time and money really making the interior shots of them in the jets look great.  No question- it is amazing work.

My issue is that this Legacy Sequel never quite wants to admit that the new, younger Characters can be his equals.  We get a line about them 'all being great, but this mission is difficult' to explain why he needs to lead the mission.

Wouldn't it be better if they could do it on their own and he helped them out somehow?  For all its many faults, that last Jurassic World did that right.
See also that last Indiana Jones Film.

For pure spectacle, this is great.  I saw it on 36 inch TV, so I can imagine what a Theater one was like.  I just wish that it led its newer Stars shine more.

A Film that looks amazing on so many levels and is genuinely thrilling.  As far as Legacy Sequels go, however, it is a bit noncommital.

Tubi Thursday: Tales from the Hood 3 (2020)

 A Horror Anthology?
Yes, please!

One anchored by the late Tony Todd.
Double yes!

This is...

In the Framing Device, Tony Todd is transporting a young woman away from 'the bad men' and to 'her Mother.'

She tells him Stories along the way...

In 'Ruby Gates,' a guy hires an arsonist to force out a family so that he can sell the building for a profit.

Things go horribly awry and they die, leading to him being haunted by visions and sounds.

In 'The Bunker,' a lone white man shouts to himself and people over a Radio about how he's surviving in a wasteland against the government.

Of course, it's not that simple and remember that this is Tales From the Hood...

In 'Operatic' a young woman wants to be a Singer and is lead to an older woman who used to be an Opera Singer.

Her boyfriend has some bad intentions for the old lady, but is it that simple?

In 'Dope Kicks,' a guy makes his 'living' by attacking and robbing strangers.

He's cursed by an angry Voodoo Woman and things go crazy when he steals some shoes.

As for the Framing Device, things reach a climax in the basement.

I'm sure that the little girl telling stories of murder and mutilation is not up to anything.

The End.

A random mix of stories that don't actually connect together.

Do Horror Anthologies usually have a full Theme? I feel like the last one did.

In that case, let's look at the Stories...

The first one is a pretty basic tale, but the Effects really sell it.  No shocks, but good scares.
The second one is right out of Black Mirror.  It's not exactly subtle.
The third story is a bit drawn out, but features some creative dark magic nonsense.

The final tale is a decent one about revenge, punishment and kinda like that middle part of Constantine.

Tony Todd is thankfully a delight in his Supporting Role.  He doesn't do much, but...he's also Tony Todd.

All in all, the Film isn't structured smoothly, but is quite enjoyable.  Now to put up my yard sign...

Another mix of random stories that vary from Sci-Fi to classic Horror.  It would be nice if there was a stronger throughline, but it is still fun.

Streaming Standard: A Quiet Place- Part II

 A watch/review I meant to get up before the new Film came out.  Life got in the way.

Let's take a SPOILER-FREE look at the Sequel while you ponder whether or not to see the Prequel.

The Film begins with a Flashback to how it all began for our Heroes/Heroines.

I guess this part did so well that people demanded a full Film like this perhaps?

This gives us a brief look at life before everything changed and more of a look at the creatures.

Did I miss the point in both Films that they are called 'Death Angels' or is that just from the new Film?

The Film proper follows our Leads as they leave the Farm to spread the word about how to defeat the creatures.

I was getting real 'Walking Dead Episodes where they follow the train tracks' vibes, but thankfully this isn't spread out nearly as long.

They find that the creatures- whatever they are called- aren't the only danger, as they walk into a trap.

However, it turns out to be someone they knew before things got all terrible.

The Plot splits when the Daughter- who is deaf- is convinced to follow a radio signal.  
The man they met- Cillian Murphy- reluctantly goes with her to keep her safe.

Back at the other place, keeping a baby quiet and safe in this World proves to be just as difficult.

To find out what happens, stream it now.

A solid Film that builds upon the same formula and expands it a bit.

To start with, the Flashback Intro is really good.  If that really was the reason to greenlight a Prequel, I get it.

The creatures get time to shine and the chaos is well-orchestrated.

What's also nice here is that plenty of Characters get Arcs here.

The Daughter is the most obvious one, as her confidence is tested and maybe she learns to be careful too.

The Son gets to go from a familial liability to a brave helper.

Cillian's Arc is a mixed one, as it is the fairly standard 'Survivor who has suffered loss' one.  No need to reinvent the wheel, I suppose.

Part of me thought at first that having him as the reluctant Father Figure was a bit lazy, but he's so good that I got over it.

All in all, this does what a Sequel should do.  It expands the Story and Setting, it has bigger moments, and it leaves you wanting to see more.

Just don't SPOIL the new one for me now.

A good Sequel that seemed to fly under the radar a bit.  Why did that...oh right, COVID.