NewER Flix: The Hole (2009)

 It's not a 'hot take' to say that Joe Dante is a good Director.  His Resume speaks for itself.  Sadly, he hasn't gotten to make nearly as much great content in the last 10-20 years.  Of course, sometimes I tend to miss some too.  For instance, he Directed a 'Horror' Episode of DC's Legends of Tomorrow in 2016.  Before that, he Directed 2009's The Hole, which feels like a return to form and style.  That's not to demean his other stuff around this time- like his excellent Masters of Horror Episodes- but this feels like Joe Dante doing, well, a Joe Dante Film he might have done in the late '90s.  In it, a family moves to a new home that has a dark secret.  What secrets lie in the titular Hole?  I spent a whole $1.50 on this, so let's find out...

A family- which we later learn is fleeing an abusive Husband/Father- moves to a new home.

The older Brother- rocking a The Killer shirt like a poser- is unhappy, until he finds a girl.
Ha ha- it's totally true though.

Making friends with her, the duo share a secret with her- they found a Hole in their basement.

It seems to have no bottom and no light escapes it.

Since they are Teenagers, they don't do the logical thing and, you know, report it...

The trio begin to experience weird things like hearing voices, seeing figures in the dark and the like.

The girl- Julie- begins to see a strange little girl around as well...

The trio find a man- Bruce Dern- who owned the House before them.

He warns them about 'the Darkness' that they released by opening the covering to the Hole.

In his next Scene, he's killed by said Darkness.  Bye!

To deal with the Darkness, the trio must face their fears and cause it to lose its power.

Julie is finally able to confront the Ghost of her dead friend, whom she failed to save as a child...

While the little Brother has to fight an evil doll.

I mean, I'd probably rather face down my deep-seated regrets than fight this thing, wouldn't you?

The final fear resides in the Hole, which our Hero jumps into to save his Brother.

It takes the form of their Father, who is a violent giant- due to him being abusive when the kid was younger.

He has to confront and defeat this creation!

He manages to do so, returning top-side with his Brother.

The Hole's power fades away...until the Mother comments on her fear to end the Film on Sequel-Bait...I think.

That or its just a joke- I'm honestly not sure.  The End.

A fun Film that manages to be a bit cliche-ridden in the process.  The Hole is not going to defy expectations and Genres.  The worst thing you can say is that it arguably plays too safe.  It skirts bigger issues until the End, which does at least pay off nicely.  Before you get to that, you get all of the usual stuff.  Ghosts sure do love turning off lights, don't they?  Evil dolls sure do love skittering about for a while before going all kung-fu hustle on their foes.  People sure do love not telling people when they see strange things, huh?

That said, there's nothing wrong here.  It's shot well.  It's acted well.  It's well-produced.  I don't have any real critiques about how it all plays out.  The Hole is a good Movie.  In the End, it touches the story beats that it needs to...just without reinventing the wheel.  It also apparently has Dick Miller...Uncredited, since his part appears to have been cut.

Next time, I cover a bad Film by a good Director.  Was it really bad enough to ruin his career?  Stay tuned...

Quick Review: Creature Designers- The Frankenstein Complex

The people who make the Monsters and Creatures in Films don't get enough attention.  Let's give them some...

This Documentary tells the basic history of make-up effects, monster make-up and creature design.

You see just about everyone you could think of- and even some you may not have heard of.

You'll hear from the people in their own words- the good and the bad.

For example, this guy regrets being locked in the Goro Suit for 11 hours a day.

They cover all of the Eras- from the 60s to the 80s.  For instance, here's a giant robot they made for Robocop 2.

You can't do this kind of thing without talking about Star Wars, so there you go.

See legends and luminaries talk about their experiences.

Here's Joe Dante and John Landis discussing how they both ended up making seminary Werewolf Films in the same Year...and fought over the Crew to do it with.

When CGI becomes big following Ternminator 2 and Jurassic Park, will these men & women thrive or die off?

To find out (and learn many things), watch the Film.

A fun and insightful Documentary.  The Film taught me a few things that even I didn't know.  For instance, I didn't realize how many Practical Effects were in Terminator 2.  They manage to talk to just about everyone possible- minus Rob Bottin- and you learn a lot.  These people tell their stories.  These people show you their methods.  These people share their art with you.  It is really neat to hear them talk about how they worked and how they created things.  You learn lots of interesting things.  If you know nothing about the industry, it may be eye-opening.  Even if you think that you know everything- like me-, you may still learn something.  For instance, Rick Baker made a creature effect for the Cockroach Alien in Men in Black...but the Producers chose CGI instead.  What a shame...but do watch *this* Film.

An interesting Doc that even taught me a few things.  See people express their art and enjoy.

Quick Reviews: Homecoming (Masters of Horror)

As it turns out, I do own two more Episodes- Pick Me Up- and the one I haven't done yet...

In this 1st Season entry, Joe Dante brings you a tale of why wishes are sometimes bad, especially if they are Political.

On a Talk Show, a Political Insider for the President (definitely not Bush!) gets confronted by a grieving Mother of an Iraq War casualty.  He makes an off-hand comment about wishing that he could bring them back.

The success of that comment leads to his boss (definitely not Karl Rove!) giving the line to the President, who is running for re-election.

Unfortunately, they get their wish!  The dead Soldiers start to show up and walk around.

The pundits- including our hero's girlfriend (who's definitely not Ann Coulter)- spin this as a positive.

However, one of the undead reveals that they can speak and they want to Vote...against the President!

Now our hero is in a bind as the President's numbers go down.  While there aren't many undead (as only the unhappy ones are back), their presence in public is making people question the war effort.

With alot to lose, the President's people must play dirty.  Will it all blow up in their faces though?  The End.

Thankfully, this one still holds up.  The danger of doing something topical like this is that it won't have the same impact much later.  While it hasn't been a super-long time since this one aired (in 2006), it does still hold up for me.  The Satire of it is still great, the Effects are great and the whole thing feels as real as possible.  It is still about unhappy Soldier Zombies coming to life to Vote in an Election, of course.  For all the flack he gets about being one-note, Dante handles this one well.  If you still think he can't do serious, then watch his Season 2 Episode.  One hurdle this has is that it may not appeal to those of a certain ideology.  In this Episode's case, it was made at a point where popularity of the War was at an all-time low and the House was just taken by Democrats.  Regardless of how you may feel politically, this is still fun and poignant.  If it helps, just do what people did with V For Vendetta- pretend that it is just Fiction.  Just play it cool and casual, like this Undead Guy...

One of my quirky Favorites from Masters of Horror.  It is also more biting and poignant than you might think.

Aquatic Killers: Piranha (1978)

Well, I finally got it.  After a long time of waiting, I got my hands on a copy of Piranha, courtesy of Shout! Video's release and Blockbuster's Chapter 11 filing.  Their loss is my gain.  The original 1978 film is all about ripping off Jaws, but it is so much more than that thanks to Joe Dante.  As one of Corman's 'students,' he stepped out of the shadows with this film and followed it up with stuff like The Howling (before the shitty sequels) and Gremlins.  You get a good idea why he has been so successful (well, until Looney Tunes: Back in Action) with this film.  I'll be light in key plot details here, as I would like to encourage the DVD sales.  Hey, don't look at me that way- I can be SPOILER free sometimes!  Put away your 3-D glasses as we prepare to watch the original...

We get a Jaws-style opening as some people are killed by the titular fish.  To the film's credit, this actually is an event that drives the plot!  I'm looking at you, every After Dark Horrorfest film ever!  A woman is sent in to find the pair, but only after taking the time to play the Jaws video game for some sort of home video game system.  Seriously, someone tell me what that thing is (see the last picture)!  She gets a tour of the area by the town drunk just by batting her eyes at him and just being persistent.  They inadvertently release the fish into the lake, which may prove dangerous for the guy's daughter at her camp.  The worst part- the camp is run by Paul Bland!  Okay, it's just Paul Bartel, but that could almost be worse!  The pair are attacked by Kevin McCarthy (R.I.P.), but they fend him off and take him with them.  He tells them what they did, leading the pair to get in a raft.  By the way, that stop-motion piranha with legs- entirely-pointless.

The narrative splits between a couple of the movie's sub-plots.  The camp has its share of moments, including a bit where we almost see some nudity from one of the Counselors before Bartel shows up.  Damn you, Bland!  We also see bits from the nearby resort, which is run by Walter Paisley- I mean, Dick Miller.  It's a common mistake, you know.  We later learn that his resort is funded in part by the General behind the military experiment that created the fish.  Why?  Why not, I guess?  The heroes, meanwhile, go down the river and get attacked by the fish.  They rescue a kid and keep moving, only to run into the General and...Barbara Steele.  That's random, but okay.

Our heroes are captured by the military in order to keep them from talking.  They escape with relative ease, however, in a scene that's a bit anti-climactic.  They knock out one guard and are driving away- wow.  The fish run afoul at the Camp, a scene that surprised me quite a bit.  In the remake, the victims had to all be teenagers or young adults.  The hero's daughter manages to escape as the two leads try to get to the resort in time.  Unfortunately, the fish manage to take out a good chunk of the people there.  They even attack people doing a water show, a scene that would later be used in Jaws 3-D.  Our hero comes up with a really bizarre and dangerous plan to take out the fish.  Not surprisingly, this works, although he's a bit worse for wear.  Of course, the fish survived to star in Piranha II: The Spawning, as well as the 1995 remake and the one from last year.  Pesky fish.  The End.

Those fish be crazy!  The plot of this movie is nice and simple.  Unlike Razortooth, the sub-plots feel more natural as they congeal with the rest of the story well.  They aren't just there to take up time.  The acting is not the film's biggest selling point, although a lot of it is good.  Many of the actors- including McCarthy, Keenan Wynn and Miller- take this very seriously, as opposed to playing this for laughs.  It's the right approach, quite frankly.  When you try to make me laugh so overtly in a horror film, you take me out of the whole thing.  That said, the film has some humor in it.  It is a Joe Dante film, after all.  I love the bit where our heroine tries to distract the guard at the camp by saying 'Look- it's Superman' and then flashes him too.  Which one were you trying?!?  Seriously though, this is a fun film and I'm glad to see it get a nice, fancy DVD release.  Let's see if we can get that with some other Joe Dante films in the future.  Take us away, Jaws video game console...

Next up, I celebrate a religious holiday that has become all about rabbits and candy.  Don't worry- I found another killer rabbit film to review.  Stay tuned...