DTV Trash?: Superman- Braniac Attacks

DC had a great run as the Studio making the best Animated Shows in the '90s.
Inevitably, the Shows had to end and Direct to Video Features followed.

Some are confusing (like Mystery of the Batwoman), some are good (like Subzero) and some hurt us all on a deeper level (like Batman & Harley Quinn).

This one- 2006's Superman- Brainiac Attacks has eluded me for a while.

Which category does this fall into?

To find out, read on...

As a foreword, this is actually NOT a follow-up to the DCAU (Batman to Justice League Unlimited). 

It's just an Animated Film made in 2006- the same year as Superman Returns- that uses the same art assets and half of the OG Voice Cast of the Superman Cartoon.

That's only a lot confusing.

Anyhow, as the Title states, Brainiac attacks!  This looks like a job for, well, you know...

Brainiac hijacks Luthor's anti-meteor satellite (which failed to stop his arrival) to blast the crap out of Superman.

This gives Luthor- voiced here by Powers Boothe channeling Gene Hackman- an idea or two. 

Superman finally wrecks Brainiac's body by freezing it and making it shatter.

That's not usually how this works, but I'll accept it.

Cool shot- no pun intended.

Luthor pockets Brainiac's brain chip from the debris and takes him back to LexCorp.

He makes a deal- he'll give Brainiac a new body with some new tech (including the one piece of kryptonite he has) if he destroys Superman.

In the Cartoons, they were literally fused into one Cronenbergian body.  This is safer.

This new body is formed from the Satellite itself and...now he has arms and legs?

The Satellite had those already or...I'm probably overthinking a Cartoon, aren't I?

Using Luthor's tech, it can track Superman and attacks him while he's out with Lois as Clark.

A fight ensues, but it eventually blasts Superman and Lois with some sort of kryptonite wave beam.

This poisons them both, because...why not?

Superman finds no help in his Fortress of Solitude and Brainiac attacks again.

He blows up the place and vanishes into The Phantom Zone, where the secret lies.

Seen here flying inside the mind of Hunter S. Thompson

While he's in there, Luthor reveals to Mercy that he has a failsafe to destroy Brainiac's body.

He positions himself as a hero to stop Brainiac...who took out the failsafe, because, you know, he's Brainiac.

Things go poorly for him until Superman returns (not that one).

Superman is covered in an orange glow and now resistant to the Kryptonite beams.

He eventually overpowers and overcharges Brainiac for the victory.

One final attack makes Superman have to use up the orange energy to save Lois.

In the aftermath, a cocky Luthor soon is hoisted by his own petard!

Oh and Superman doesn't stop being Clark.  Cool.

A decent to good Animated Film that does take some adjustments to enjoy.

As noted, this is just a completely separate entity from Superman: The Animated Series, despite using their Character Models, Locations and half of the Voice Cast.

I was distracted quite a bit at first by the new voices- Boothe as Luthor and Lance Henriksen as Brainiac- while others- like Tara Strong as Mercy- were fine.

Boothe- who was great as Gorilla Grodd- plays a campier and sillier Luthor here that I eventually warmed up to.  There's no wrong version of the Character- well, other than Jesse Eisenberg- but seeing the face I know with a different voice was weird.

Henriksen was fine, if unremarkable as Brainiac.  Corey Burton brought a subtle menace that Lance simply didn't.

Canon and Voice issues aside, this one was alright.  It took some big swings in the story and some of them paid off.

A prolonged part where Jimmy Olsen is beaten up- weird.  
Other swings were countered by simply being undone abruptly (the Fortress will be rebuilt and Clark stays). 
If you're not canon, why not stick to these?

Ultimately, this one kind of falls in the middle with these Adaptations/Follow-Ups.  It's just alright and I can see why it isn't talked about much.

Sorry, new Lex.  I did grow to like you.

Next time, I dig into my digital vault to cover a Sequel that is very much forgotten.  Before he made billion-dollar Films, James Cameron went fishing.  Stay tuned...

My Crazy Youth: A Fantastic Four Cartoon with a now ironic Guest Star

 A Fantastic Year to be a Marvel fan!

With the release of the first proper Trailer for this July's Fantastic Four: First Steps out now, let me look back at an earlier adaptation of the team.

This is 2006's Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes.

Specifically, I'm covering a later Episode which is notable for its Guest Star.

He...
Is...
I-RON MAN!

In this Show, the Foursome are famous Heroes located in New York City.

They have a sort-of Anime look to them, with the elongated bodies close to that of Aeon Flux.

Anyhow, they're being a fun family when they are attacked by the original Iron Man Suit.

It is soon joined by more!

The team goes right to the source, confronting Tony Stark at his Headquarters.

He's sure that his suits are safe...only to find them missing.

The unseen culprit tries to blow them all up.

As it turn out, the culprit is Dr. Doom!

Yep, that is why this Episode is so ironic to watch now in 2025.

Of course, the Heroes team up to save the day,

Iron Man vows to return the favor.
Does he appear again in the remaining 4 Episodes?

No.

A fun Episode.

After all, we get to see the Fantastic Four, Iron Man and Dr. Doom in one Episode.

I didn't see much of this Show originally, as its original run on Cartoon Network was very erratic.  Apparently only 8 of the 26 Episodes ran originally.

It took until 2009 until all of them actually aired.

The idea of Iron Man and Doom as villains is a popular one, going back to the 1970s where they ended up in Arthurian England.
Of course I'm not kidding.

This Show is pretty fun all around and is worth a look on Disney Plus, along with Iron Man's own show.

Just don't hold his scary smile against him please.

Are there more hidden gems to cover in this Series?  Let me take a look in the coming weeks...

Is It Bad?!?: X-Men- The Last Stand (2006)

 After watching what some people call 'the best X-Men Movie ever,' it is only fitting to look at what used to be considered the worst.

Before Dark Phoenix came out, everyone hated this one and the Studio spent a bunch of time retconning it.

This is...

Pro: The Film takes risks right off of the bat.  We see a younger Xavier and Magnus recruiting Jean Grey in the late '80s.

Good foreshadowing.

Con: The technology wasn't quite there yet.  Plus, they are two people who were famous at this same point in their lives, so the matching has to be spot on!

Pro: Magneto is still written on-point here.  He is upset because a so-called Mutant Cure has been created.

He plans a big attack, which involves freeing Mystique (captured off-screen).

When he sees that the Cure works, he is extra-motivated.

Pro: We get a version of The Phoenix Saga.

Con: We don't get most of it, with the Story actually being about Jean (who cocooned herself at the end of X-2 like in the Comics) being so powerful that Xavier locked away a 'personality.'

That personality- Phoenix.

Con: We get very little of Scott, who is driven to meet her when she revives...only for her to drain him to death.

To be fair, James Marsden committed to doing Superman Returns, so he wasn't going to be available for much anyhow.

Pro: The dramatic face-off and brief fight between Xavier's team- Storm and Wolverine- against Magneto's new team- Juggernaut and Callisto- is nice.

Pro: The dramatic face-off between Xavier and Jean...even if it is only based on new information from this Film 20 minutes ago.

Con: Killing off Xavier is a big move that doesn't really pay off.

They actually retcon it IN THIS FILM, but it is never explained at the end of The Wolverine.

Pro: New Mutants with brief bits to shine.

Callisto- as confusing as this version is- looks nice and works well.

Beast is great, a Casting that has so far carried over into the MCU.

Multiple Man is memorable, even if it is just for 2 Scenes.

Con: Quill was somehow credited as Kid Omega.  I guess 'QUill' and 'QUentin' were close enough to fool some people.

Con: The Film heavily promoted Angel, but he literally flies in and out of the Movie twice.  Misleading much?

Pro: Rogue's Character Arc here is quite good.

She can't touch her boyfriend- Iceman- and sees him forming a bond with Kitty Pryde.
This drives her to go seek the Cure.

Officially, she got it- which creates a massive Plot Hole in The Rogue Cut- but they also shot a version where she didn't.

Con: They picked the wrong Ending.

Pro: Magneto strikes in a big way.  He takes the Golden Gate Bridge and turns it to Alcatraz, where the Facility has been kept.

Con: We cut from it being maybe late afternoon on the Bridge to *the dead of night* for the final battle.

I like the moody lighting, but...come on now!

Pro: We get little bits of newer Characters- like Glob Herman- which is better than nothing.

Con: Colossus sure doesn't do much until he throws Wolverine at the end.

Pro: Magneto getting depowered- but also not really- is good.  Jean's death- while melodramatic- was used well in the next Wolverine Film that we talk about (so not Origins).

What is Good?

The Plot outside of Jean just being, well, crazy has some really good points to it.  It brings together a large group of Characters and gives *most* of them at least one moment to shine.

Characters aren't bastardized and the little moments work.  For instance, Magneto rejecting a 'Mutant Tattoo' that Kid Omega's group all got by showing his Concentration Camp mark and saying that 'No needle shall ever touch my skin again.'

Great stuff.

The Movie also looks really great, with most of the nearly 20-year-old CGI still looking pretty darn good in HD.

What is Bad?

The change to Jean Grey to make the new 'Phoenix' thing work is not a great.  The fact that the worse Film- Dark Phoenix- got that right is notable.

Many of the Characters used in Cameos are so blink and you miss it that I almost wonder what the point is.

Also you did 'The Juggernaut- bitch' in this one.
A Deleted Scene has 'Here's Juggy'- which is somehow worse.

Killing off multiple Leads is also a choice they made that certainly taints things.

So...

Is It Bad?

No

This one is admittedly closer than others so far, but I stand by it.  The Film is 2/3 of a great X-Men Film.  It's not a complete ruination of the Characters and Plot.

Enough of the Film is good to great that I can't hate it nearly as much as I did in 2006.

Craven Less: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

 Is High Tension the accidentally worst thing to happen to Horror in the '00s?  It re-popularized the 'How does this work?!?' twist and also gave us this Film.

This is 2006's Remake of Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes.  In this case, if you didn't know, it was Directed by Alexandre Aja.  Just so you don't think that I'm 'a hater,' I will remind you that I still like and own the Piranha Remake (just not the Sequel).

One of the changes made here was to move the location from California to New Mexico, in order to try to connect it to real life nuclear testing done there.
Sidenote: were it not for the Hurricane, my Parents would have been on vacation in New Mexico when I watched this...so thank you, Storm?

The Plot is mostly the same- mutants attack innocent people.
Can this be elevated with 3 Decades to think of something interesting to add?

To find out, read on...

Even though this is a Theatrical Film, we still get the Syfy Opening Kill Cliche in full effect.

Random guys checking water in the area are killed by Mutants.

You won't see them again for a good 45 minutes....so enjoy this fun size appearance.

After Credits which hammer in the Nuclear Testing = Mutation Theme in with the subtlety of Thor working for Habitat for Humanity, we meet the grizzled guy who runs the only Gas Station for miles.

He wanders around when he hears a noise, which mostly just introduces us to the Location.

He says 'he can't do it anymore.'

(In spite of all this Character Build-Up, they didn't do a Prequel about him).

Things change when a family drives up.

It is an older Couple (with Ted Levine as the Dad), their two Daughters, their younger Son and the Husband of the one Daughter.

After building medium tension, the Wife accidentally sees proof of a previous victim (a purse that half the Cast will stumble across by the end).

As such, he immediately breaks his vow and guides them to side road to be killed.

They set a spike trap- which they then hide, because reasons- and the car is totaled.

This leads to more wandering around and more views of the Moroccan...I mean, New Mexico Desert.

Time for padding.

The Dad goes back to the Station, which ends poorly for him and the Owner.

The Husband goes the other way and finds the bombed out Town where Act 3 takes place in.

The Son follows the one dog, which he finds dead.  He slips and falls several feet to the stone floor, but he's fine.

This also gives us the 'nice' Mutant, which is the only real addition to the Mutant Family here that matters.

Dad is caught by Billy Drago (who is wasted in this) and burned on a tree.

This is to draw the others way...and I just realized that the key Action Scene takes place at night.
Way to miss the point of the original!

This leads to objectively the worst part of the Film as everything bad happens to the Female Cast.

The Daughter is, let's just say, not consensually greeted, the Wife is shot in the head and Mom is shot in the chest.

SPOILER ALERT- this Film does not pass the Bechdel Test.

In the aftermath, the survivors need to rescue the baby, which was stolen.

The Husband (Aaron Stanford) has to become a Hero now, despite all of the talk he got for 'not liking guns' and 'being a Democrat.'

Somehow, this guy manages to escape a death trap, elude Mutants AND then kill 2 of them.

Back at the RV, Drago shows up and they trick him into a trap.  They blow up the RV with him there, although he doesn't quite stay dead....somehow.

Stanford manages to fend off one last Mutant and return with the baby...although they are out in the middle of the desert with no help and no way to drive out, so....happy ending?

A Film that really leans into what it wants to be.  If that is your kind of Film, you'll like it.

As for me, it had its moments, but couldn't hold me.

The Pacing is weird, with the Mutants popping up as a tease and then not doing much for half of the Film.  The variety of them was nice and the effects look great.

On a technical level, the Film works quite well.

The Tone is what got me, I guess.  The one Scene- where they kill of 2/3 of the Female Cast and sideline the other- was a tipping point for me.

The Film, as I said, leans into what it wants to be.  In this case, it is cruel.

That can work, if things are evened out or 'paid back.'  
In this case, the surviving lady needs help to take out one guy, while her Sister's Husband does everything.  Some agency.

That said, i wasn't expecting a Feminist Masterpiece.  Don't think that I'm judging it solely on that- it is just how I feel.

I already bought the Sequel- also Unrated- so I'll still give that a shot.  Hopefully we'll see Greg Nicotero again in all his...glory.

Next up, the Sequel- duh.  Will it be less accidentally funny than the last time they did this?  Stay tuned...

Should You Bother?: Elektra- Director's Cut (2005)

 In the wake of 41 different Synder Cuts, it's easy to overlook many other Director/Director's Cuts.

In a previous edition of this Segment, I looked at the previous Film (Daredevil) and how his Director's Cut restored, well, the Plot.

So, when I ran across a Director's Cut at a Goodwill for Elektra, I was curious.

FYI, I do have the normal version as well, which is still factory sealed.  Someone really didn't want that present in 2006, apparently.

Can a Director's Cut make a Film like Elektra into something great?

Should You Bother?

The Film features lots of little Cuts throughout.

Sadly, that equates to only THREE more minutes of Runtime.
On the positive side, I never actually reviewed this, so let's do both!

Elektra is back from the dead- thanks to Terrance Stamp's Stick- and is killing bad guys for the Yakuza.
This Cut lets us see the blade pierce her target's chest.

She initially refuses another job, but soon takes it to escape her nightmares.

All of the backstory she was lacking in Daredevil is here.

She's told to hang around before getting the assignment, which means meeting two people.

You know that they are clearly the targets, right?  Great.

The backstory is told through tinted flashbacks to her past.
These are extended in small ways throughout the Director's Cut.

She decides not to kill the duo and fends off some Ninjas.
They disappear in clouds of green smoke in both Cuts, so that wasn't a PG-13 thing.

This leads Carey Hiroyuki-Tagawa (barely in this) to hire a bunch of powered Hand Assassins.

Curiously, the Director's Cut removes a line where they are all named...but does include Elektra's friend taunting the lead Hand guy before being killed.

Priorities!

She's saved via Ex Machina courtesy of Stick (oddly similar to Madame Web) and told the truth...

The girl is a MacGuffin known as The Treasure.
She can be trained for good...or evil.

They flee to Elektra's home- making those Flashbacks cost effective by reusing the sets- and we see here set a trap.

In the Director's Cut, we get an extra shot of her with a candle before she ignites the stoves.

She manages to kill the remaining bad guys in a Hedge Maze, thanks to her sometimes ability to see the near future.

After a big fight with the Leader, she throws her remaining Sai about 200 feet through the Maze to strike Typhoid (not Mary) in the face.

The impact was restored for this Cut.  That was a PG-13 thing.

We get a nice good-bye as Elektra can't stay with the Father and Daughter...because reasons.

She walks off to...well, you know where she ended up by now.  The End.

****

I'll be honest- it's still mostly the same.  If that doesn't sway you, you're most people.

In spite of how I may sometimes come off, I want Films to be good and I can be generous in grading them.  For me, this is that kind of Film.

It's not great.  It's not shit.  It's alright.

This Cut didn't add lots of Plot or tons of characterization.  It added a tiny bit of both, but it is mostly just a case of using Take B instead of Take A.

According to Rob Bowman, he recut the Music quite a bit too.
I didn't notice that much.

Sorry, Rob.

On the plus side, I can now add another Film to the list of Christmas Films!

Verdict: A tentative, yes.  It's not much in the way of changes, but it still looks and feels nice.

Again- if you didn't love the Theatrical Version, there's not enough here to sway you though.

Fun Fact: Bob Sapp- who played Stone- was on The Tonight Show with Daredevil in 2003.

Now which one do I keep?

Tubi Thursday: Black Christmas (2006)

 I can check another Director off on my Seen All of Their Films List- Glenn Morgan.

After Willard, the gentleman did a Remake of a Horror Classic.  

Does the fact that Bob Clark hung around on Set help things out?  A little bit.

This 2006 Film was released on Christmas Day, which pissed off many, many people.  

I vaguely remember this- a Co-Worker told me that their Holiday plans was going to see this- but it sure didn't match up to the Silent Night, Deadly Night affair.

Another House full of Co-Eds- check.

The Plot is mostly the same, but we get the Rob Zombie's Halloween treatment here as we find out EVERYTHING about the mysterious killer this time around.  

For some reason, they made him That Yellow Bastard too.  

We even know what his favorite snack is.

The Film tries to confuse you, it seems, by continually introducing new, random characters into the Film, both in Flashbacks and in the main Story.

Is this to distract you from how obvious the Two Killers (because Scream invented that- we all know) twist is here.

Seriously, people die in the House BEFORE we see Billy escape, so...

On the plus side, we get to see some nice, non-cliche Female Characters.

On the negative side, they are all just here to die gory, violent deaths and/or scream.

Did they get paid by the scream?

The ladies find nothing but danger and reasons to scream inside the House.

It sure is a good thing that the catch-all 'It is Christmas- everyone left' excuse works, no?

I guess they could go outside, but...it is not recommended.

Is this Film overlooked due to being 'yet another Remake' (right at the time that this trend really picked up)?

To find out, stream it now (or wait for my comments below).

Yeah, it is not good.  It could have been.  There's legitimate potential in this Story, even with *some* of the changes made.

It worked in the '70s, so why not?

The Film, for one, is way too in love with just being gross in its violence.  There's something creepy about how it was handled in the Original.  That's pretty much gone, especially when it overplays its one card.

The original is famous for the shot of the body with the bag on its head in the rocking chair.  It works here too.  However, then we get EVERY victim- save maybe one or two- getting the same treatment with the bag.

Throw in some gore and gross stuff put in there- allegedly- by Producer/Criminal Harvey Weinstein and you get a mess of a Film that is just unsettling in that Hostel way.  That's not a compliment, Eli Roth.

I gave this one a fair shot- honestly. It was just gross, cruel and dumb, with a tacked on Third Act Finale that does no good for anybody.

After a different kind of freak out, I'm kind of curious to check out the OTHER Remake in the future.

A Film with a good Setup...and terrible execution.  Good touches here and there don't make up for the ugly, cruel tone overall.