Remake This?: When a Stranger Calls (2006)

 A Film from the tale end of my Theater days.  I remember none of it.

When A Stranger Calls is the 2006 Remake of the 1979 Film that is famous for one line and its gimmick.
To call this one a Remake is a gray area though.  Let me explain...

The original Film's Intro Scene (around 20 minutes) is about the Babysitter and the famous call.  It pivots from there.

This Remake is JUST that part of the Film.

For comparison, imagine a Remake of Psycho- wait, don't hit me!- that was just the part where she steals the money, flees and is killed in the Shower.

That aside...aside is this a good Film.

It came from Simon West, the Director of Expendables 2, Con Air and the Rick Roll.
No, really.  He Directed that Video.

Is this mostly forgotten Remake a good one or trash?  To find out, read on...

As the Credits roll, we see a full of Fair/Carnival happening outside of a home.  I guess it's a Birthday Party.

We hear a concerned Mom and a scream.
Next we see Cops investigating and an older Detective reacts in shock to what he sees.

It's PG-13, so use your imagination.

We never see this Cop again.  Cool.

The Film really follows our Heroine- Push's Camilla Belle, who has some teen drama going on involving a bad friend- Arrow's Katie Cassidy- making out with her boyfriend.

She gets solace from her good friend- Thor: Ragnarok's Tessa Thompson.

Her boyfriend's apologies don't work, but there's a side effect.  She went WAY over her minutes and now has to pay her Parents back.

Can you tell that this is from 2006?

Her Dad- Agents of SHIELD's Clark Gregg- drives her out to the remote House that she's babysitting at.

We don't see him again until the finale.  Cool.

Said House is indeed remote and I'd say that it looks like it is CGI...if it looked that good for a Film like this in 2006.

The Parents- which include Poltergeist: The Legacy's Derek De Lint- leave, explaining that the kids are asleep upstairs and the Maid may be lurking about.

As noted, why hire a Babysitter if you have a Maid.

In any event, she starts getting weird phone calls...many of them.

She calls the Police, who agree to help her track the line.  Even so, they can't be out there in less than 20 minutes.

The calls keep coming and even the brief visit of Cassidy- who somehow got the address and entered through the open Garage Door and Gate- doesn't help.

Eventually, she gets him on the phone long enough.

As the next call rings, the Cop says the famous line.

She goes to find that the kids are alright- hiding in their rooms- and tries to escape with them.

During said escape, she finds Cassidy's body in the bathroom!

The Stranger finally appears and no longer talks.  He was so chatty- as Lance Henriksen- earlier.

She finds that the Maid is Dead.  Does she qualify as a Poor Bastard of Cinema without appearing until now?

After a tense Third Act, she wounds the man and runs to the Police.

In the aftermath, she wakes up in her Hospital Room and panics when the phone rings.  
She is grabbed by the Stranger...and wakes up screaming.

Yes, this was indeed a Tacked On Dream Sequence Finale.  Sigh.
The End.

A Film that's honestly pretty good, if not as engaging as they would hope.

This isn't a knock on the Actress, as one person can't truly make or break a Film.  She does her best with the role, which features many vacant stares, concerned glances and uncertain body language.

In the cut, they wisely chose to focus almost SOLELY on her for most of the Film.  Deleted Scenes- what little there are- show the other side of her conversations and, yeah, it's less engaging that way.

They need you to feel like her- isolated, in a big space with no exit and worried.

The trade-off is that some people- like Thompson in her Film Debut- only get the 2 Scenes (the second being a brief phone call later in the Film).

The Stranger as a concept is good.  He's certainly underdeveloped, of course, as he's just a menace that is a pure blank slate to create terror.
Henriksen literally phones in the role, but doesn't figuratively.  It's just a shame that he has so little to do here.

This one was clearly cut up quite a bit- the DVD Box shows a shot of the Cop talking to Belle which isn't in the Film- and it doesn't aspire to be more than a decent to good Film about a scared Babysitter.

Even so, points to whoever came up with this shot.

Next up, I might as well cover the Marvel Frankenstein Anime during this Season.  Will it be less bizarre?  Stay tuned...

Import/Export: Day Watch (2006)

At long last, the Film I bought for a dollar in a cheap plastic case a year or so ago.
This is Day Watch, the 2006 Russian Film by Timur Bekmambetov made before he broke big in America with Wanted.

Full disclosure- I didn't know that this was the Sequel when I bought it. 
Do you blame me?

The Plot follows our not-so-great Hero as he tries to keep the balance between Night and Day.  Meanwhile, his Son has been corrupted by the Night.
Can he bring him back?  Maybe a magical MacGuffin will save him.

The whole thing gets convoluted, as you'd expected, and boy is it weird too!

To find out how odd this really gets, read on...

In the Cold Open, we hear someone narrating the Story about Tamerlane trying to grab something called The Chalk of Fate.

He crashes through the walls (see the Stinger) and gets it, helping him be successful until his death.

The Chalk was never found.

Anton has been working to keep the balance, stopping/investigating attacks against normal people.

Him and his partner Svetlana chase down an attacker, but he stops her from injuring them.

Why?
It's his (sort of) evil Son!

He's also falling for Svetlana, but that is discouraged.
He's not sure how to tell her...or even to convince himself to act on it.

He does befriend the Owner of a Chinese Restaurant that might be important later.

The leader of the Night begins to kill people in an attempt to frame Anton for the crime.

To counter this, his Boss has him switch minds with a lady Sorceress in the same organization.

After some hijinks and melodrama (in that order) with Svetlana, she learns the truth.

This also doesn't help them, as they kill another person to frame him in his new body too.

It's all an attempt to break the uneasy truce between Day and Night, culminating in the son becoming an all-powerful force for evil.

Anton- back in his body- goes on the run and does Timur stuff like jump into a glass poster display to teleport into the subway...which buys him about 4 minutes head start.

The battle then becomes about control of the Chalk.

Anton gets it, but can't bring his son back with it.
The son can't use it.
The bad guys plans to get one of his helpers- Alicia- to do it through deception.

Speaking of deception, this Movie goes full Clayface as Anton's disguise fails spectacularly!

The Night Leader's plan to frame Anton falls apart, but he pivots to tricking Svetlana into fight the Son.

This breaks the truce and all hell breaks loose.

Anton gets the Chalk and saves the day?  How?

He undoes his decision from the beginning for Night Watch and doesn't try to cause his ex-girlfriend to have a miscarriage.

He does still find Svetlana in this new timeline, however, and they are destined to be together.

Still a better way to make your older Stars look young than in the Saw flashbacks from Part 7.
The End.

A long, convoluted Film that has many good moments...eventually.

This Series (which was supposed to be a Trilogy, but isn't) is known for two things.
A dense Plot with lots of implied backstory.
Randomly cool visuals that make no sense.

Both are on display here, for better or worse.

This one has crazy car stunts, some fights and other magical shenanigans.  They do save many for the Third Act, which is appropriate.

I just found it hard to follow as the Film chugged along, talking about Pacts, magical Chalk and doing random nonsense.  It's not a terrible Sequel by any means though.

Like the last Film, if it did something for you, this one will too.
No need to Run Your Horse Through a Wall.

Is that an expression?

Next up, let's revisit a Film that I haven't thought about since I worked in a Theater while it was out.  This Island led us to the Transformers.  Stay tuned...

DTV Trash?: Superman- Braniac Attacks

DC had a great run as the Studio making the best Animated Shows in the '90s.
Inevitably, the Shows had to end and Direct to Video Features followed.

Some are confusing (like Mystery of the Batwoman), some are good (like Subzero) and some hurt us all on a deeper level (like Batman & Harley Quinn).

This one- 2006's Superman- Brainiac Attacks has eluded me for a while.

Which category does this fall into?

To find out, read on...

As a foreword, this is actually NOT a follow-up to the DCAU (Batman to Justice League Unlimited). 

It's just an Animated Film made in 2006- the same year as Superman Returns- that uses the same art assets and half of the OG Voice Cast of the Superman Cartoon.

That's only a lot confusing.

Anyhow, as the Title states, Brainiac attacks!  This looks like a job for, well, you know...

Brainiac hijacks Luthor's anti-meteor satellite (which failed to stop his arrival) to blast the crap out of Superman.

This gives Luthor- voiced here by Powers Boothe channeling Gene Hackman- an idea or two. 

Superman finally wrecks Brainiac's body by freezing it and making it shatter.

That's not usually how this works, but I'll accept it.

Cool shot- no pun intended.

Luthor pockets Brainiac's brain chip from the debris and takes him back to LexCorp.

He makes a deal- he'll give Brainiac a new body with some new tech (including the one piece of kryptonite he has) if he destroys Superman.

In the Cartoons, they were literally fused into one Cronenbergian body.  This is safer.

This new body is formed from the Satellite itself and...now he has arms and legs?

The Satellite had those already or...I'm probably overthinking a Cartoon, aren't I?

Using Luthor's tech, it can track Superman and attacks him while he's out with Lois as Clark.

A fight ensues, but it eventually blasts Superman and Lois with some sort of kryptonite wave beam.

This poisons them both, because...why not?

Superman finds no help in his Fortress of Solitude and Brainiac attacks again.

He blows up the place and vanishes into The Phantom Zone, where the secret lies.

Seen here flying inside the mind of Hunter S. Thompson

While he's in there, Luthor reveals to Mercy that he has a failsafe to destroy Brainiac's body.

He positions himself as a hero to stop Brainiac...who took out the failsafe, because, you know, he's Brainiac.

Things go poorly for him until Superman returns (not that one).

Superman is covered in an orange glow and now resistant to the Kryptonite beams.

He eventually overpowers and overcharges Brainiac for the victory.

One final attack makes Superman have to use up the orange energy to save Lois.

In the aftermath, a cocky Luthor soon is hoisted by his own petard!

Oh and Superman doesn't stop being Clark.  Cool.

A decent to good Animated Film that does take some adjustments to enjoy.

As noted, this is just a completely separate entity from Superman: The Animated Series, despite using their Character Models, Locations and half of the Voice Cast.

I was distracted quite a bit at first by the new voices- Boothe as Luthor and Lance Henriksen as Brainiac- while others- like Tara Strong as Mercy- were fine.

Boothe- who was great as Gorilla Grodd- plays a campier and sillier Luthor here that I eventually warmed up to.  There's no wrong version of the Character- well, other than Jesse Eisenberg- but seeing the face I know with a different voice was weird.

Henriksen was fine, if unremarkable as Brainiac.  Corey Burton brought a subtle menace that Lance simply didn't.

Canon and Voice issues aside, this one was alright.  It took some big swings in the story and some of them paid off.

A prolonged part where Jimmy Olsen is beaten up- weird.  
Other swings were countered by simply being undone abruptly (the Fortress will be rebuilt and Clark stays). 
If you're not canon, why not stick to these?

Ultimately, this one kind of falls in the middle with these Adaptations/Follow-Ups.  It's just alright and I can see why it isn't talked about much.

Sorry, new Lex.  I did grow to like you.

Next time, I dig into my digital vault to cover a Sequel that is very much forgotten.  Before he made billion-dollar Films, James Cameron went fishing.  Stay tuned...

My Crazy Youth: A Fantastic Four Cartoon with a now ironic Guest Star

 A Fantastic Year to be a Marvel fan!

With the release of the first proper Trailer for this July's Fantastic Four: First Steps out now, let me look back at an earlier adaptation of the team.

This is 2006's Fantastic Four: World's Greatest Heroes.

Specifically, I'm covering a later Episode which is notable for its Guest Star.

He...
Is...
I-RON MAN!

In this Show, the Foursome are famous Heroes located in New York City.

They have a sort-of Anime look to them, with the elongated bodies close to that of Aeon Flux.

Anyhow, they're being a fun family when they are attacked by the original Iron Man Suit.

It is soon joined by more!

The team goes right to the source, confronting Tony Stark at his Headquarters.

He's sure that his suits are safe...only to find them missing.

The unseen culprit tries to blow them all up.

As it turn out, the culprit is Dr. Doom!

Yep, that is why this Episode is so ironic to watch now in 2025.

Of course, the Heroes team up to save the day,

Iron Man vows to return the favor.
Does he appear again in the remaining 4 Episodes?

No.

A fun Episode.

After all, we get to see the Fantastic Four, Iron Man and Dr. Doom in one Episode.

I didn't see much of this Show originally, as its original run on Cartoon Network was very erratic.  Apparently only 8 of the 26 Episodes ran originally.

It took until 2009 until all of them actually aired.

The idea of Iron Man and Doom as villains is a popular one, going back to the 1970s where they ended up in Arthurian England.
Of course I'm not kidding.

This Show is pretty fun all around and is worth a look on Disney Plus, along with Iron Man's own show.

Just don't hold his scary smile against him please.

Are there more hidden gems to cover in this Series?  Let me take a look in the coming weeks...

Is It Bad?!?: X-Men- The Last Stand (2006)

 After watching what some people call 'the best X-Men Movie ever,' it is only fitting to look at what used to be considered the worst.

Before Dark Phoenix came out, everyone hated this one and the Studio spent a bunch of time retconning it.

This is...

Pro: The Film takes risks right off of the bat.  We see a younger Xavier and Magnus recruiting Jean Grey in the late '80s.

Good foreshadowing.

Con: The technology wasn't quite there yet.  Plus, they are two people who were famous at this same point in their lives, so the matching has to be spot on!

Pro: Magneto is still written on-point here.  He is upset because a so-called Mutant Cure has been created.

He plans a big attack, which involves freeing Mystique (captured off-screen).

When he sees that the Cure works, he is extra-motivated.

Pro: We get a version of The Phoenix Saga.

Con: We don't get most of it, with the Story actually being about Jean (who cocooned herself at the end of X-2 like in the Comics) being so powerful that Xavier locked away a 'personality.'

That personality- Phoenix.

Con: We get very little of Scott, who is driven to meet her when she revives...only for her to drain him to death.

To be fair, James Marsden committed to doing Superman Returns, so he wasn't going to be available for much anyhow.

Pro: The dramatic face-off and brief fight between Xavier's team- Storm and Wolverine- against Magneto's new team- Juggernaut and Callisto- is nice.

Pro: The dramatic face-off between Xavier and Jean...even if it is only based on new information from this Film 20 minutes ago.

Con: Killing off Xavier is a big move that doesn't really pay off.

They actually retcon it IN THIS FILM, but it is never explained at the end of The Wolverine.

Pro: New Mutants with brief bits to shine.

Callisto- as confusing as this version is- looks nice and works well.

Beast is great, a Casting that has so far carried over into the MCU.

Multiple Man is memorable, even if it is just for 2 Scenes.

Con: Quill was somehow credited as Kid Omega.  I guess 'QUill' and 'QUentin' were close enough to fool some people.

Con: The Film heavily promoted Angel, but he literally flies in and out of the Movie twice.  Misleading much?

Pro: Rogue's Character Arc here is quite good.

She can't touch her boyfriend- Iceman- and sees him forming a bond with Kitty Pryde.
This drives her to go seek the Cure.

Officially, she got it- which creates a massive Plot Hole in The Rogue Cut- but they also shot a version where she didn't.

Con: They picked the wrong Ending.

Pro: Magneto strikes in a big way.  He takes the Golden Gate Bridge and turns it to Alcatraz, where the Facility has been kept.

Con: We cut from it being maybe late afternoon on the Bridge to *the dead of night* for the final battle.

I like the moody lighting, but...come on now!

Pro: We get little bits of newer Characters- like Glob Herman- which is better than nothing.

Con: Colossus sure doesn't do much until he throws Wolverine at the end.

Pro: Magneto getting depowered- but also not really- is good.  Jean's death- while melodramatic- was used well in the next Wolverine Film that we talk about (so not Origins).

What is Good?

The Plot outside of Jean just being, well, crazy has some really good points to it.  It brings together a large group of Characters and gives *most* of them at least one moment to shine.

Characters aren't bastardized and the little moments work.  For instance, Magneto rejecting a 'Mutant Tattoo' that Kid Omega's group all got by showing his Concentration Camp mark and saying that 'No needle shall ever touch my skin again.'

Great stuff.

The Movie also looks really great, with most of the nearly 20-year-old CGI still looking pretty darn good in HD.

What is Bad?

The change to Jean Grey to make the new 'Phoenix' thing work is not a great.  The fact that the worse Film- Dark Phoenix- got that right is notable.

Many of the Characters used in Cameos are so blink and you miss it that I almost wonder what the point is.

Also you did 'The Juggernaut- bitch' in this one.
A Deleted Scene has 'Here's Juggy'- which is somehow worse.

Killing off multiple Leads is also a choice they made that certainly taints things.

So...

Is It Bad?

No

This one is admittedly closer than others so far, but I stand by it.  The Film is 2/3 of a great X-Men Film.  It's not a complete ruination of the Characters and Plot.

Enough of the Film is good to great that I can't hate it nearly as much as I did in 2006.