Buy or Cel: Justice League (TV vs. 2017)

 A long-forgotten Segment returns!

In this case, let me compare the Pilot Episode of Justice League to the infamous Feature Film.

Both got some setup for Batman and Superman in the build-up.
Seems fair.

In one corner, we have the Film that cost more than (one can assume) the entire Production Budget of all of DC TV Shows combined...

...and the 3-Part Pilot Episode known simply as 'Secret Origins.'

The Cartoon has an invasion of White Martians, who trick Superman into disarming a la Superman 4.

They prove too great for him to stop on his own.  Same goes for Batman.

On the Film side, the World is in danger as Steppenwolf arrives on Earth to prepare the Earth for Darkseid's arrival.

The Show has the advantage of 4 Seasons of Batman and 3 of Superman.

As such, we got Flash introduced in a one-off and Green Lantern...just not that one.

Even so, they have to introduce Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter and the John Stewart version of GL.

Alas, the setup for Aquaman went to waste due to Network mandates.

In the Film, Superman is dead (for now) and we have Batman forming a team with Aquaman, The Flash, Wonder Woman (who had a few Scenes in BvS) and Cyborg.

As you can see, both had to do some heavy lifting with new Characters while also telling the Story.

The Cartoon has the heroes uniting and working together to save the Earth, notably giving Manhunter some payback against the threat that killed his people.

In the aftermath, Batman has given them a Satellite Base and we know that more great stuff is on the way.

In the Film, the League manages to revive Superman, survive a fight with him and then stop Steppenwolf from razing the Earth.

In the aftermath, they pose...and Superman is about to have a foot race with Flash.
Roll Credits.

Similar hero poses too.

This one is not as even as you would hope for.

Yes, the Film is a hodge-podge of Snyder's work, studio mandates and Joss Whedon's strange humor.  No, I won't compare the Pilot to the Snyder Cut.

Were you expecting that?

The comparison is more apt than I remembered, since both had to introduce most of the Cast as the Story unfolds.
What the Show did well was make the threat global as well as personal.  Manhunter wants to defeat the White Martians to save his new home AND to get a little measure of, well, Justice.

You could argue that there's an attempt to personalize it by having the Boxes be near the homes of our Heroes in the Film, but...I mean, come on.

WW in the Show sees the threat to Man's World and steps up.
WW in the Film is just kind of already here and the attack on her fellow Amazons is only a little upsetting.

The Show splits up the team into groups, which helps set up the dynamics and leaves more room for Character Arcs to begin.

Nostalgia aside, the Show simply tells a better Story in roughly the same amount of time.
No need to get sticky with me about it.

A closer comparison than I was expecting.  That said, the Show does more in the same amount of time to make me want to see more of this Team in action.

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'The New Breed'

 Let's round out the Top 10 Highest Rated Episodes with a Season 1 favorite.

It's a tale of hubris, desperation and reality setting in!

In 'The New Breed,' a Scientist - John Boy from 'The Waltons'- has invented nanites that can remove impurities and cure disease!

The catch- he has to wait for all of that boring testing first.

His fellow Professor is getting married to his Sister.

What great news!

He then finds out that he has Cancer and it is nearly impossible to treat.
What bad news!

He's got so much to live for.

He asks the guy to try out the nanites on him.

No such luck.

Desperately, he sneaks into the lab and injects himself.

The cancer goes away and his body improves, as shown by his increased fitness, no longer needing glasses and being able to hold his breath for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, the nanites don't stop there.

They give him gills, seeing the earlier exercise as a thing to improve on.

They try to deactivate them, but they won't stop working 'until they are done.'

The nanites morph his body, giving him strange coverings that act as protection against further medical intervention.

The duo can't see a way out and he finally asks his Brother-in-Law to kill him.

He does and the research is destroyed (understandably)...but his now-former fiancée seems to have them!

The End.

Body Horror on full display here and I'm all for it.

I both love and loathe Body Horror.  I definitely find what my limits are- usually eye and mouth stuff- but I love it all the same.

This one builds it up nicely, setting up the context in Act 1, building up to the reveal in Act 2 and going hog wild in Act 3.

The man grows eyes in the back of his head!

The actual Story of the Episode is a good one too, as you can completely understand why the guy would take the risk.
You're with him when things are going amazingly.  You empathize when things start to turn.

His poor fiancée has no idea about any of this and now she's got it.  All of the notes and research are destroyed too- whoops!

Sadly, I don't think that there's a follow-up here.

It's easy to see why this one is so highly-rated as it delivers on the promise just enough to freak you out, but also not going so far as to turn him into some sort of 'evolved man of the future' or something.

It's so good that- like most things in the '90s- it was immortalized as a Trading Card!

Next time, I take a different approach to these and cover the original Series for a bit.  Don't worry- there's some overlap to cover in the future.  See you then...

Forgotten Sequels: Scary Movie 2 (2001)

 Has time been kind to this Sequel?  All signs point to 'no.'

This is Scary Movie 2, the Film that discards the tagline of the last Film.  The original Film had a 'No Sequel' line on the Poster.

It made too much money and was too much fun to make, so future releases- like my DVD Set- have it crossed through.
We currently sit at 5 Sequels, although only 2 were done by the Wayans Brothers.

This Film ditches the Slasher Parody to be about Ghost Stories and Haunted Houses.  I'm sure that parodies of House on Haunted Hill and The Haunting...'s Remakes will age well.
That and a tacked-on Exorcist Parody (since The Version You've Never Seen cut was released in 2000).

For better or worse, this Sequel also fully began the 'And Everything Else' Strategy of Parody that would define the Wayans-less Sequels.
Commercials?  Sure.  Charlie's Angels?  Why not?  Hannibal?  Go for it!

Clocking it at under 80 minutes, why does this still feel stretched thin?

To find out, read on...

The Film begins with a way-too-long Exorcist Parody involving James Woods and Andy Richter (who would make up for this by being in Obsession).

It ends quite abruptly, but not before Andy sings the N-word as part of a 'gag' where the White Actors sing a Rap Song.

Afterwards, we get a confusing 'One Year Later' tag on-screen.
One Year Later from that Scene (which is clearly in the '70s) or One Year Later from the last Film?

Regardless, Cindy isn't dead, Tori Spelling is (sometimes) here and Brenda isn't dead.

A Doctor- Tim Curry (damn!)- and his Assistant- David Cross- plan to try and awaken some ghosts at a Haunted (Hell) House by way of pretending to do a Sleep Study.

This is right from the Remake's Plot (mentioned in the Intro).
I guess Curry saying that he also wants to get laid is a new addition?

* A Deleted Scene explains that Ray is not dead- since it's the Sequel- but there's conflict between him and Brenda.  They didn't follow up on that AT ALL in the Film- they're a Couple again- so they cut the explanation *

They all meet up at the House- including the Masterson Brother not in Prison and a girl named Theo- and the Caretaker (Chris Elliot) is all sorts of gross.

That's the joke.

A whole bunch of this Movie is just a Parody of Poltergeist (whose last Film was released in 1988) too.

The Caretaker and Cross (this Sunday on ABC!) also don't get along.

Remember that bit in Wild Wild West where Jim and Loveless make jokes about their missing legs and being black (respectively)?

Here it is again.

A direct reference to The Changeling (which came out in 1980!) leads to...an extended Parody of a Nike Commercial (I think)?

Was this joke even current a year after this came out (let alone 25)?!?

It turns out that the culprit behind the whole thing is the last Owner, who is now a mean ghost in the form of Richard Moll.

* A Deleted Scene sets this up better, but they actively cut MOST of Tim Curry's Scenes *

After nearly killing Cross, he possesses the Caretaker (who was last seen 30 minutes earlier) to do the aforementioned Hannibal Parody and then this Charlie's Angels bit.

It's one of the few bits I remember (even if it sucks), so fair play...I guess.

I took this Shot before the Fountain makes it look like they're peeing

After lots of filler, they capture the ghost and everyone leaves...except for Tori Spelling.

She has 3 Scenes where she falls for the Ghost and then dies from a chandelier.  Only her and Curry die (and his is off-screen).

We end like the last one with Cindy being scared...but the car hits the Caretaker instead.
Are we done?

The End.

A Buffet of Comedy...that has been left out all day.  Time to change out the trays!

This one tries to do too much and also not enough.
They barely give out Arcs for the Characters, cut a bunch of content and then did lots of prolonged schtick to fill out the runtime.

Have I mentioned that the Film is not even 80 minutes long?

The attempt to do something other than just make fun of Slasher Films is appreciated.  It's just a shame that the solution they came up is 'Um, everything...I guess?' 

This is a Film where we go from Hannibal to Charlie's Angels to The Haunting.  It's erratic, at best.
The riffs on the source materials are either kind of dumb, uninspired or a bit offensive.

Many funny people- like Curry, Cross, Richter and Elliot- try to make it work.  Others just say their lines and hope for the best.

I'm not sure why we needed FOUR more after this, especially after a criminal waste of Natasha Lyonne!

Next up, let's return to Bond and Roger Moore.  This one is more grounded and features a quite iconic Theme to boot!  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: Alien Rubicon (2024)

 After The Asylum's Predator Film was only so-so, how about their Alien Film?

As long as we get some low-budget Xenomorphs, I'm good!

A Scientist is preparing to go on Vacation with his kids.

A stop at the Observatory, however, leads to a UAP sighting and he's dragged into it.

A big, metal ball of a ship lands by New York and starts moving.

Picture Katamari Damacy, but not fun or whimsical.

It appears to be invulnerable to any weaponry.

It blasts any vehicle that gets near it.

Meanwhile, our Hero is flying around in a Helicopter with the Star of Ballistica and Mega Piranha.
Joy.

Can our Heroes find a way to stop this floating Pachinko Ball?

Will the folks over at CERN help?

Will shooting it somehow do a damn thing?

I mean, obviously not on that last one.

Now, about those Xenomorphs.  What do you got?

Sure- 10 seconds of that is enough.

Wow, this sure...wasn't what you were promising.

Scroll back up and look at that Poster again...

...and back to me now.
That's a creature not in this Film.
There's not even like a single shot of it as, for instance, the Leader of the Aliens.

Sadly, the bar for them is so low that I would have accepted that.

Instead, we get a pretty boring tale of President Michael Pare in a bunker (he's only ever in one), Ballistica Guy making constipated faces, Scientist guy alternating between pitching ideas and calling his kids & occasional shots of the ball.

A rush to a Third Act Climax does not make up for things.

When your Film is 40% Ballistica Guy making faces in an obviously fake Helicopter Rig, 20% a ball shooting lasers and 40% people pitching ideas to stop said ball, you're not doing well.

Imagine if they gave this thing an actual Premiere! 

A Film somehow less exciting and inspired than the last one.  There's a hint of a good idea hidden somewhere, but it's trapped inside a metaphorical big, round object. 
What do you call those again?

Streaming Standard: Borderlands (2024)

 I'm a big fan of the Games, having played every main entry in the Series save the newest one.

So why did I wait until now to watch the Film?

Well...

Lilith is a Bounty Hunter in a far-off Galaxy.

She's hired to bring back the Daughter of a big-time Executive of a major Arms Company.

This is her.
She's on Pandora.

It is the worst Planet in the Galaxy.

Things take a turn when she learns WHY the man wants his Daughter back (and how their actual relationship is).

She's no Heroine.

Teaming up with Roland, Krieg and (unfortunately for her) Claptrap, they must now find the famous Vault on Pandora.

What's inside?  Immeasurable treasure.
(in both meanings of the word)

Can they survive the journey with an army at their backs and dangerous individuals in front of them?

This won't be easy.

Will they save the day?
Will they unlock the Vault?
Will this gel with the game's storyline in any way?

To find out, stream it now.

Oh boy.  I've been sitting on this one for a few days.

Positives first.
They nail the look and feel of Pandora.  We get iconic Characters (in various forms) and hints of the crazy world.
I really liked Tiny Tina here.  They did her right.

With that out of the way, I have to ask- Who was this Movie made for?

It picked and chose random aspects from the Series to make a hodge podge Story that is similar enough to the original Game to make it weird that they picked certain people.
Borderlands 1 has Lilith, Brick, Roland and Mordecai.

Tiny Tina appears first in Borderlands 2, while Krieg appears as a DLC (or Downloadable Content) in the same game.

Why make them so prevalent if this is the first Game's Story?

Additionally, the Casting is hit or miss with the big names.
Blanchette is always good, but she's just not Lilith here.
Black as Claptrap is fine, but the Character is 100% Voice Acting anyways, so why not just use the official guy?
Hart- to his credit- is less goofy here, but he's still not Roland.

Otherwise, the Film is just very generic and bloodless (to get a PG-13) Rating. 
It just doesn't please anyone and the Box Office showed it.

I did really like you as Marcus though, mate!

A Film that has small doses of what you'd expect from the Franchise.  Sadly, the rest of the Film feels like a mix of great cosplay and something else entirely!

Forgotten TV: The Outer Limits - 'The Light Brigade'

 A rare Sequel in this otherwise self-contained Series.

We return to the World of Humans vs. Aliens in this Episode.

In deep space, a human warship is traveling towards the alien home planet when it comes under attack!

There are only a few survivors, specifically Will Wheaton, Robert Parrick and another guy in the Engine Room.

They keep the ship going, as they plan to drop a big-ass bomb on the alien home world!

The group is joined by Graham Greene, who also survived.  

They work towards the front to keep the ship going and arm the bomb.
They lose the wounded guy along the way.

They are dealing with radiation sickness (from the damaged generators), but they must keep going.

Intrigue builds as well, as they talk about the aliens using spies.
Patrick notes that he was freed from a Prison Camp.

As it turns out, Patrick is an alien spy!  He was replaced after the events of Quality of Mercy.
He is trying to arm the bomb, but Wheaton tries to escape with the key.

He manages to kill 'Patrick' and releases the bomb.

Someone cuts open the shaft and Will realizes that he's dropping the bomb on Earth (as Patrick turned the ship around while the others were unconscious).

Whoops.  The End.

An upgraded version of a classic Bottle Episode of the Series.

This one builds upon that concept and raises the stakes.
It's about as bad as of an Ending- at least as far as Earth is concerned.

This one is done with zero aliens (save for a tease of a reveal near the end) in this one.
In their place, we get some nice, CGI shots of the ship and other digital effects.

They aren't mind-blowing, but they are good for their time and not distractingly bad.

The Ending is a point of contention, as some people love the bleak nature of it.
It is clever- no question.
Should Wheaton have figured out that something was off when he dropped the bomb after trying to stop Patrick from dropping it?  Probably.

I think the point is that the blind pursuit of heroism is a bad thing and that's what he does.

No matter how you feel, don't fight about it.

Next time, we get to the final Episode in the Top 10.  A man seeks a cure and it goes horribly wrong.  See you then.