Holiday Flix: Santo in The Witches Attack! (1968)

 A yearly look at Lucha Cinema is something I always look forward to.

This is El Santo in The Witches Attack, a 1968 Action/Horror Film.  This is at a good midpoint in his Film career- which ran until 1982- and features many familiar things.

Lots of fighting.  Black and white mood.  Ladies in miniskirts.

The Plot involves a woman who fears that she'll be sacrificed by a Witch and only El Santo can save her!  He's a spry 50-51 years old at this time.
There wasn't a younger Luchador who could help- Rey Mysterio Jr. wasn't born yet.

This one does a few unique things that are worth mentioning.
Are they enough to make this not too familiar?

To find out, read on...

The Film actually has a Cold Open where this lady monologues about the danger she's in from some Witches and that only El Santo (not named by her) can save her.

He fights masked thugs and is captured, but then breaks free and makes a cross with his arms...

...and that was all a dream.  

The Woman has been having very vivid nightmares ever since she moved into her Parents' house to get the money willed to her.

Her Sister tells her to stay.

Her fiancée Arturo (who was in the dream too) meets with El Santo after hearing about her dream.  He knows the guy.

What luck!

He explains the situation with the house and will to our Hero...and that the Sister is not who she claims to be!

She might even be- wait for it- a Witch!

This leads to the 2nd of what feels like a dozen (more like 6) prolonged Fight Scenes with El Santo, this time with unmasked guys (but clearly the same ones)...and there's no a third guy.

He doesn't find the proof he needs.

The Witches are real, of course, and doing exactly what was in the dream.

They capture and control Arturo with a magical spell.

Santo saves our Heroine from them again, but they flee...again.

It's not a Luchador Film without one unnecessary Wrestling Match Scene.

This has one that runs about 5 minutes.

The Witches have nigh unlimited power at their disposal thanks to the dark arts and their infernal Masters!

They...summon a single spider (seemingly made by a preschooler) to kill Santo.
It fails.

They do capture the woman again and she appears to escape...again.

She meets with Santo and tells him where to go.

Surprise- it was the Witch all along!

They capture Santo at Fight #22 (or 6) and chain him down for the sacrifice.

He breaks the chains...which shouldn't surprise them since he's DONE IT TWO OTHER TIMES and fights them.

Outnumbered, he resorts to their weaknesses (which the Witch recounted to the audience earlier) and returns with a big cross.
He waves it around and they all die.

The End.

A Film that is very similar to many Santo Films, but with some extra, spooky aesthetics.

The Plot is pretty simple- so much so that it is laid out in the opening minutes.
Not much changes from that setup explained to us then- we just see it play out.

I guess Horror can be about NOT surprising you.

To be fair, I might be judging this through the wrong point of view.

These Films were made for a broad audience and likely ran as Matinees in Santo's homeland of Mexico.

People weren't looking for great Acting or amazing Plots.  This is very similar to watching a spooky Episode of the Adam West Batman TV Show.

I own the whole Series on DVD and watch it every weekend, so clearly, I don't hate the formula.

This one gets a few points of credit for adding the spooky stuff, but is otherwise a fairly copy-paste adventure.
There's really no difference between these Witches having male henchmen and the Mad Scientists/Vampires having them.

Speaking of Vampires, this...goes nowhere.

A pretty fun, if familiar El Santo Film.  If you want one of these with a few new tricks, give it a watch.

Santo de Mayo: El Santo in 'Fury of the Karate Experts' (1982)

 Happy Whatever This Day Means to You, everyone!

For me, it is another reason to watch an El Santo Film.  Viva El Santo!

For those who don't know, El Santo was a world famous Luchador for Decades and parlayed that into a Film Career that lasted from the 1960s to the early 1980s.  The catch- he was always El Santo.

For all of the (rightful) lambasting that Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson gets for 'always being Dwayne' in his Movies, at least he's actually playing someone else!

This is 1982's Fury of the Karate Experts, which would be his final Film.  He retired from the ring that same year and died in 1984.

As a fun bonus, this Movie was shot in large parts in Florida- specifically down WAY South in and around Coral Castle.  It's still there too...and was featured in Nude on the Moon.

The Plot is all kinds of silly, involving a magic rock, a jungle girl, so-called Karate Experts/Masters, two twins with massive twins (wink) and El Santo parachuting in to join a Wedding.

Get out your sombreros as we face...

An evil space lady has shown up in Florida and finds out that her good twin is planning to marry, consolidating her powers.

She's very upset...so she, of course, immediately 'decides to celebrate' with a dance.

Santo and his buddy arrive for the Wedding (via parachutes, as noted above).

He knows them, I guess.

There's a Film with a similar Title listed with the same release year- The Fist of Death- which seems to also be this Movie (based on the Screenshots).

So is this a Sequel?  Maybe?
Does it matter?  Nah.

The evil lady has this masked Wrestler on her side and he takes out one of the titular Heroes.

It's clearly a Mexican guy in a pantyhose mask with a glued on ponytail.

On the plus side, he takes out the guy with a looo-oong bearhug.
This one's for you, Bob!

The evil Twin keeps doing stuff to stop the wedding, like burning down part of the house and attacking with the Wrestler...to cover up stealing the wedding gifts.

She also summons a Werewolf that, well, would give the most recent Wolfman a run for his money for the Award of Most Disappointing Werewolf Make-Up.  

Another fight between Santo and the Wrestler ends in the former going down after some outside assistance.

The evil Twin is able to mind control him.

He's sent to kidnap 'the blonde' at the hosue.

In a B-Plot, we get a Scientist (played by Rene Cardona Sr) and his Daughter nearby.

He mistakes her for 'the blond' and socks her in the face.
Damn!

The Plot becomes really convoluted as it goes on.

We have a Prince (to be married to the actual Blonde) who is kidnapped and replaced with a double.

Then the evil Twin knocks out the good one to replace here in this...less than great split screen effect.

Oh, and said Blonde (aka The Jungle Girl) was apparently sent from the stars.

That sure is something, eh?

The Film's climax has Santo and the man battling some...I think Werewolves (now in ape masks) and the evil Wrestler.

All but Santo die and he has to stop the sacrifice of the Girl.

On cue, the double explodes and the villain just leaves, ducking out behind a fire effect.

And so, Santo's final film appearance (save a cameo in his Son's first Film) involves him listening to a glowing space rock.

It says that the Girl must leave...and she does.  The (abrupt) End.

A truly bizarre Film and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

The Plot involves space twins, a talking rock, karate fighters, two masked wrestlers and a blond lady just getting punched in the face!

Santo is clearly a bit too old for this, with his weight belt yanked up high, mere inches from his nipples.  The real Best Supporting Actor, folks!

I kid, I kid.

The Plot is gosh darn goofy, features random dance numbers and El Santo doing the same few wrestling moves in every fight.

After the third time you walked up and he kicked you away with both legs, would you try something else?

I didn't even talk about the Werewolves in this wrap-up.  So strange.  So silly.  So good.

This is the only one of these I've watched where they don't shoehorn a Wrestling Match (or 3) into the Plot though, so kudos.  Trying out new stuff at the end, Mr. Santo- I applaud you!

In closing, Santo fans might find some new things here, but all of the usual queso.  Oh, and that Coral Castle was also in, wait for it, The Wild Women of Wongo!

A fun Film that sure is preposterous in all of the best ways.  Does it make sense?  Nah!

Tubi Thursday: Santo and Blue Demon vs. Dracula and The Wolfman

 Viva Conde Dracula!  Will this Mexican Dracula suck less than the last 2 I covered?

Here's hoping...

A bad man resurrects Dracula and The Wolfman.  Why?

For Satan, of course.

This is the same Dracula who fought Santo over his titular treasure (or sex, as the alternate Title implied)

Our Heroes take a break from Wrestling in a brightly lit, but otherwise empty room (it makes the Thunderdome look full) to help out when the Professor goes missing.

They leap into action...

...by which I mean they sit around and play Chess.

These guys miss people breaking into the House MULTIPLE times and the day is saved thanks to multiple Ex Machinas (mostly this magical dagger).

Don't get up, Champs.

The Plot gets complicated for them when the Werewolf romances a member of the family they are guarding in his human form.

To show how good they are, they leave him alone with her...and he immediately kills her.

*slow clap*

Oh and Blue Demon is captured.
Again.

At least he's not mind controlled to fight Santo...for a change.
He really is the Luigi of this Franchise though.

Can they save the day?  It sure doesn't look like they will.

Of course, they do...and make time for a quick Tag Match.  The End.

It isn't any more or less than you'd expect from them.

Have you seen an El Santo Film?  You've seen most of what this has to offer.

This one does have less prolonged fight scenes against goons, although it does have a couple.

It also has random bits of actual horror- especially once the little girl is left all alone for a bit- so that's nice.

That said, our Heroes are mostly useless.  At one point, Mobsters nearly defeat them.  In spite of that, they fend off like 14-20 Henchmen in the Finale- at least 3 of which are Werewolves.  

There's power creep (Google it) and then there's this!

The Film has a lovely HD Transfer, but it is also Dubbed.  I prefer Subbed (since it is the original Audio) myself, but I can deal with it.  There's also a certain charm to the fairly cheap Dubbing done by what sounds like 3-5 people.

Is the final showdown disappointing?  Yes.  Does that make it kind of funny?  Also yes.

This one is pretty fun, if slow at parts.  That said, here's some real Horror.  Look at this and see how long you can go without checking the nearest window...

A fun Film, either in spite of or because of the Dubbing.  The trade-off, of course, is the pristine HD Transfer.  Yum.

Holiday Flix: Santo vs. Blue Demon in Atlantis (1970)

 The Man From T.I.O.!

Today's Film is Santo vs. Blue Demon in Atlantis, a 1970 Film that clearly leans into the Spy Genre.  He's part James Bond, part Luchador.  Is he the best of both worlds?  Eh...no.

The Plot involves a Nazi Scientist trying to destroy the Earth, giving them a generous 10 day period to stop him.  So kind...for a Nazi.  Naturally, the only Agent who can stop him is...famous Luchador El Santo.  Is it like those weird WWE Books that implied that their Performers fought crimes, using the touring schedule as a Cover.

Yes, that's a thing.

After fighting Dracula, other Monsters and Martians, will this be a cakewalk?  To find out, read on...

A Mad Scientist- a former Nazi calling himself Achilles- threatens to destroy humanity.

Why?

Well, as he monologues in the Intro, we're all bad, violent and dumb.

Naturally, show us your superiority with...violence.

Also the Greeks are the Master Race.  

Confusingly, the Spymaster sends a guy out to find El Santo and a Scientist who's key to stopping the bombs.

He then tells the Scientist- who was in the other Room- to go to Santo, but avoid the guy he just sent.

Huh?

In a rare turn, the mandatory match section has Demon and Santo against each other!

They fight to a draw- presumably leading to 'Fight forever' chants- until an attempt to drug Santo and Demon backfires- kind of.

Demon is drugged and taken.

After they test him and ask him to join, they just hypnotize him to work against Santo.

I think I saw this same bit in Santo and Blue Demon Against the Monster.  Poor Demon.

A lady Agent randomly shows up to help.  She's definitely not evil.

This leads to a silly and prolonged Helicopter shoot-out involving Blue Demon, who already lost ANOTHER one-on-one fight on the ground.

Shocking twist- she was evil and they capture Santo, attempting to hypnotize him.

Santo attacks the Scientist's equipment to stop him from interfering and Santo...dies?

Oh, it was just a fake.
Santo escaped FYI.

In case you missed that this was trying to be like James Bond, here's our group- including a reformed helper of the Villain- entering the base via scuba suits.

More punching.

Demon redeems himself by saving Santo from the villain...who somehow wins a fistfight.  Huh?
He gets speared...er, javelined.

The Stock Footage- clearly from some Italian Sword & Sandal Film- falls apart as our Heroes escape to a rescued world.  The End.

A fun, if unoriginal Film.  Is a wannabe-Spy Film with El Santo silly?  Yes.  Do I mind?  No.

While I miss the Monsters, I still get the fights and nonsense.  Enjoy those punches that sound like people hitting slabs of meat with a big old mallet.

It's definitely a 'mustard in your chocolate' effect at times as the man wearing a silver mask runs around like Ethan Hunt.  The core of this Film is still an El Santo Film in all of the best and worst ways.

There's only one Wrestling Match bit though, so bonus.  Seeing Santo do a middle rope dive in 1970 is a treat.

As a whole, I still enjoy the more typical Santo stuff, but this was a fun, odd treat.  Say- what is the face you make when you stare at Stock Footage added in post, El Santo?

Next up, the Schedule returns to normal.  There's not another Holiday on the 6th...is there?!?

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Santo in the Hotel of Death

I didn't end up watching or Reviewing this Film for yesterday. 

Even so, I loved the Poster and did my usual dicking around with it.  Enjoy...

Is that a Masked Killer or a Table Display? 

Seriously, it looks like when they tie up a napkin for a fancy dinner party and/or wedding.

I guess it is scaring these ladies in their nighties- as you do.

Apparently the Film is about Santo and some people stopping a killer.  I should probably watch this at some point.

Here's the original...

A washed out Poster that just needed some love.  Your welcome, mi amour.

Holiday Flix: El Santo vs. The Martians

Viva El Santo!  Today's Film is El Santo vs. The Martians, a 1967 B-Movie with the legendary Wrestler as the Lead.  The premise is pretty simple- Martians show up to conquer us and El Santo fights them.  I guess Lou Thesz was busy.  Side-note: if you don't know anything about Pro-Wrestling, prepare to use Google a lot during this.  This is not my first El Santo Film, so I pretty much know what to expect.  He always dresses in his gear, talks about justice and rolls around with large, sweaty men.  They are what they are.  The Film is full of what you expect and a little more.  There's not much 'meat on the bone' here, but I can have some fun with this.  To see the Mexican Rikidozan (see what I said earlier!) in action against the most dangerous Spacemen until Aerostar, read on...

Martians arrive on Earth after observing us.  Just like Ed Wood's Aliens, they don't like us and our bombs.

Unlike those Aliens, they 'lamp-shade' that the Film is just in Spanish now, since...Mexico.

Just like Zod and so many other Aliens would do in the future, they appear on TV and lay out their demands.  They...actually aren't that bad.  I mean, we'd be conquered, but...yea?

When nobody believes them, they show up at an event and vaporize people via a decent effect.

Since this isn't America, they actually kill some kids and nothing is done to undo this!

El Santo just happens to be there and he fights the Alien, proving our worth.  The man was 50 at this point, but still could go.

For no clear reason, the Martians change their looks and their names.  This...has almost no payoff.

The Martians try many tricks to get Santo and overall control.  One of them involves mind-controlling his sparring partners.  LOL Santo Wins.

The lead Scientist discovers that they are weak to fire, since they can hardly breathe on Earth.  This also has almost no payoff.

After impersonating a Wrestler to battle Santo, they try one last thing.  It all boils down to a Debate!

No, just kidding.  More Wrestling.

He defeats the Aliens on their ship and goes to destroy it (and them).  The Scientist asks him to leave the Ship for study, but he unilaterally decides that we aren't ready for it.

So I can just blame anyone that dies of Cancer on you then?  The End.

Basic, but fun stuff.  El Santo Movies aren't exactly high-art.  They are pretty by-the-numbers Action Movies that tend to drift into Sci-Fi (like this or Mystery in Bermuda) or Horror (like when he fought Dracula).  Santo has a natural screen presence, but he never plays anything other than himself.  He has less range than a broken slingshot!  To be fair, he also never really tried either, so who knows?  As funny as the premise is, it still boils down to lots of Old-School Wrestling.  You get body slams, snapmares, knee lifts and the like.  If you're into that stuff, this one is a must-see.  If you aren't, then, well, you may be disappointed a bit.  The Martians have silly technology and teleport everywhere, so there is still that.  It is silly and strange, but a tad redundant.  On the plus side, it features Aliens wearing wigs about as realistic as the one from Samurai Cop...

Next time, international fun from the 1970s.  It sure will be...greasy.  Stay tuned...