Remake This Movie: Down (aka The Shaft) (2001)

 Movie Reviewing is really a game of patience.  Sometimes you have to wait for an obscure movie to be available to watch.
Once it is on Disc and/or Streaming, you have to pounce!

That's the case with today's Film- Down (aka The Shaft) from 2001.  It's a Remake of The Lift from 1983 by Dick Maas. 
Who Directed this one?  Dick Maas- again.

Yep, English-language Remakes with the same Director/Writer isn't just for Japanese Horror Movies (and Michael Haneke).  Let's get Dick involved too!

The Lift was about a killer Elevator.  Down is still about a killer Elevator.
Does Maas- who also Wrote this one- bring anything new to the Story nearly 20 years later?  To find out, read on...

The Film is still about a killer Elevator, although its first victims are actually...pregnant women who give birth in it due to the heat while stuck in it.

Do babies being born in the Elevator affect the Plot?  No, no they don't.

It does get our Elevator Techs into things though.

A young reporter covers the story.  It's...Naomi Watts?!?

It's one thing to do that Children of the Corn Film before you made it big.
It's another thing to do those Ring Films- Sam Raimi's company made them.

To be in the American Remake of 'The Killer Elevator Film' though?  Hmm...

It does eventually kill some people, most notably one of the 2 Horny Security Guards.

It sure was important to show them spying on a Hooker earlier so that their death would be...ironic?

It also kills a blind guy, but it is okay because he's a lecherous jerk.
It also kills his dog by proxy, which is NOT okay.

They also do the 'will it kill the little girl' bit from the original and it still doesn't.

Our Lead- the less responsible and often drunk Repair Tech- takes full duties when his buddy is killed by the Elevator and is then subsequently blamed for the other killings.

How?
Why?

Shut up, that's why!

A thing to note is that a bunch of really talented Character Actors are in this one.  They aren't 'too good for this,' since it is, after all, a Movie and they are Movie Stars.

That said, it is a bit sad for me to see people like Edward Herrman, Dan Hedaya, Jackie Hoffman, Michael Ironisde and Ron Perlman in this.

They are all actually good and stand out when, you know, the Plot involves a killer elevator powered by 'bio-organic computer chips.'

The Film peaks with a big Scene where an Elevator launches itself so fast towards the roof that the floor breaks and everyone- including children!- fall to their deaths.

When it breaches the ceiling, the Film abruptly cuts to...the White House as it is called a 'terror attack.'

This is set in NYC and was meant to be released in 2001.  Can you see why it was shelved until 2003?

Random fact for you- Comedian Ike Barinholtz is in this because he was actually living in the Netherlands when they shot this. 
So, to be clear, the Film was shot mostly not in New York City (basically just the exteriors are NYC) and with Maas' Dutch Crew.  How 'American' is this American Remake again?

Watts teams up with the Tech as more deaths occur, including a Roller Blader launched through a window!  She shows him a tape and... you fool, don't watch that tape!

You'll die in 7 days!!!  It's even blue!!!

They uncover the whole thing with the 'bio-organic chips' and Ironside takes Watts hostage.

He's killed by his own Elevator (aka petard) and they blow it up.

In the aftermath, our Heroes are now a couple.  Joy.  The End.

It's...mostly the same.  This version features Watts' Character, which is an improvement though.  She's a plucky, Lois Lane-type Reporter that does help out.

This is still a Film about a killer Elevator.  The reason is still dumb.

I wish there was more to say here, but it is mostly the same and still silly.  The stuff with the good Actors helps this feel less silly than the last one, but then suddenly more silly.  Should I explain?

So, for instance, we get a well-acted Scene where Perlman- in his last appearance- tells Ironside that things have gone too far and he can't support him.  A slow, serious silence follows.
After that, all of the stuff about 'bio-organic chips' is explained.

What's funny about the delay in this being released is that it came out AFTER 2002's The Ring is that it was then marketed as a Horror Film like that one.  Joy.

Next up, we get back on track to cover more Films from my still-ever-growing DVD pile.  It's likely more Sci-Fi though.  Stay tuned...

Tubi Thursday: The Lift (1983)

 Are you afraid of Stairs?
Do Elevators act as your Sanctuary for those large, jagged objects?

If so, don't watch this Dutch Horror Film...

In a fancy Building, people go up and down in the Elevator.

What could go wrong?

Oh right- the Elevator is killing people.

Just sometimes though.

What- like you don't take a break between your murders?

An Elevator Inspector is killed in as the incidents occur, but nobody seems to put into thought into what is happening besides him.

It's basically one of those Guy Gets Too Close to a Story Arcs...but with a killer Elevator.

A Reporter is also on the case, leading to a Dramatic Subplot where the Wife thinks that he's having an affair.  

He tells her that she's wrong...but never tries explaining it in depth.

Oh well- enjoy that divorce.

Eventually (after a few more deaths), he finally breaks into the Building, avoids the danger of being in the Elevator (making everyone else look kind of dumb) and discovers the secret of it.

It's...

Alive.

Kind of.

A random friend of the Reporter tells a bizarre story about microchips made from living tissue that began to self-replicate.

So, naturally, that's literally what was going on.

How convenient!

He seemingly-defeats it when the guy behind it shows up.

The Elevator has One Last Gasp and kills him...so our Heroes just kind of leave.

If you want to know how they explain this, too bad- the Film is over.

A silly-sounding Film that treats things very seriously.  Does it work?  I mean, I'm still joking about the whole Killer Elevator things, so 'no.'  

The idea that an innocuous device like an Elevator can kill you is a plausible one.  They don't have it make evil faces or talk.  I guess you can argue that it could happen.  That said, the explanation of why all of the kills happening is just plain silly.  Living microchips- why not question it?  The way we get the explanation- a guy in the 3rd Act just exposition dumping the idea- is also kind of silly.  

On top of that, they just randomly show us the 2 guys behind it all going 'I feel bad about this' and then one of them just showing up (to be killed).  Why do it organically and let people solve the mystery when we can just say it at the end like everyone should have known it?  Ugh.  The Elevator kill Scenes (and the tease bits) are pretty good.  

Sadly, they don't make up nearly enough of the Film to make things work.

  I can only hope that Mr. Maas did a better job with the 2001 Remake (which apparently exists).  Just remember that THIS is not that Remake...

Next week, another Film on the Service that was added at some point in the last year.  I don't even remember adding half of these, so it's a fun surprise for both of us!

Import/Export: Dick Maas' Uncaged/Prey (2016)

 A Film that comes from the Netherlands, makes it big in China and then shows up in America.  What could this be?

If you are a Chinese-Native Reader of the site, first, welcome.  Secondly, you'll know the Film as 2019's ‘Violent Fierce Lion.’

Despite not being a hit anywhere else, it made lots of Yuan in China!

In (not New, but Old) Amsterdam, a Cameraman and a Zoo Biologist/Veterinarian are in a rocky relationship.

Well, danger can bring you together!

Said danger comes in the form of an escaped Lion, that proceeds to kill a number of people.

Since this is not an American Film, kids actually die (off-screen, mind you).

 
Just a heads up.

The deaths continue as the Police don't do nearly enough to stop it.

There's some Social Commentary about how the Press don't believe it.

That sure does nothing to help this poor guy.

Said Lion is a mix of (mostly bad) CGI and (pretty unrealistic-looking) prosthetics/animatronics.

I'm glad that you get to see the beast...but I wish it looked better.

Can our intrepid Heroes stop the Lion?  Will they somehow keep shooting it to no effect?

Did I somehow make it to the end of this Review without joking that the Director is a dick (since his name is Dick Maas)?

To find out the answer to TWO of those questions, stream the Film.  It's on Amazon Prime or other services.

A pretty fun, if kind of cheap Film.  Is it mean to pick on a Film for its Budget?  Maybe. 

 Will I keep doing it?  Yes.

  Simply put, the Movie is a bit too ambitious.  They want to show the Lion in action...and can't do a great job of it.  There's a part that should be amazing where it chases a guy who is on a Moped.

  Unfortunately, the CGI Lion has a 'floaty' quality that takes away from the visual of it running full speed.  Later bits do work better, so it is not like they *couldn't* do it at all.

  They do commit the Cardinal Sin of Movie a CGI Animal- showing a real one.  Once you see a real Lion about halfway through, the animatronic one's face takes on a real Uncanny Valley feel.  Some Scenes that should be really scary just quite aren't when you can tell that you're looking at either sprites or something that the Henson Company would have rejected.

  The Dubbing here- I watched it that way for convenience sake- is alright, but a bit spotty.  I'd stick with the original Language if I were you.  Hey, if you want to see Jaws with a Lion and in Amsterdam, this is a solid pick.  

If you expect something just above a B-Movie, you can accept the budgetary issues.

  Just don't mix the Film up with 2007's Prey or a *different* Film from 2016 that is also called Uncaged...

A simple, but effective Thriller that is hurt by its Budget.  It wouldn't be a great Film with more money...but it would have helped.