Shudder Day: Queen of Black Magic (2019)

 Back when I got DVDs from Netflix, I used to LOVE watching whatever Mondo Macabro would distribute.

In 2026, I can now check out the (sort of) Remake of one of those Films.  
This is...

A trio of men- now married and one with children- return to the Orphanage at which they were raised when the man running it is near death.

Their past comes in the form of stories about a malformed woman and her mysterious disappearance.

Along the way there, they hit a deer.

As weird stuff starts to happen, the Dad checks the car and sees...something not right.

What he sees at the place of the wreck, he sees something even worse.
No, I won't SPOIL what that is.

Attempts to call the Police- fail.
Cell Phones- they don't work.

And yes, we are still doing 'No signal out here' stuff in 2019.

What is the weird cord attached to her cell phone?

Everyone there- from the kids to the parents to the staff running the place- is in danger.

A strange force is making them confront their fears/phobias.

It gets bloody.
It gets cruel.

Who will live?  Who will die?

What happens when the truth comes out?

To find out, stream it now.

A slow burn Film that gets very, very dark by the end.

The key aspect of the Film is that it needs about 25 Characters to let them do all of the crazy kills/torture they need to do.

As such, the Film takes a while setting things up.

Once the Horror starts, it never really lets up.
The CGI and make-up work is good here- almost too good.

The Film looks too real and the body horror stuff is quite unsettling.  If that's your thing, then you'll love this one.

Fans of freaky, dark Horror are in for a treat- as long as they can deal with foreign Actors, locations and subtitles.

A Film that eventually gets to a scary and graphic place.  If you don't like blood and cruelty in Film, skip this one!

Lost in Translation: The Devil's Sword

A crazy film from Indonesia got a release in Germany.  Not surprisingly, the transition from the two countries made the movie poster kind of weird...

A Medieval version of Hell Comes to Frogtown featuring a guy who doesn't know how to hold a sword?  Alright then.

To see the review of the actual film, go here.

Next up, a famous film about dinosaurs.  Naturally, the poster says that it's actually about an insect.  Stay tuned...

Mondo Trivia: Mystics in Bali

This film was actually very controversial when it came out.  In fact, it was banned in Indonesia- the country that it was made in!  The thing only got seen in its own country by way of pirated VHS copies. 

Geez, even Cannibal Holocaust could be viewed in Italy, just nowhere else!

Mondonesia: Mystics in Bali

This poor movie has been in review limbo and must be set free. Part of the problem, I think, is that I have seen many films in the same vein & certain ones seem to take precedence. For example, Eternal Evil of Asia was just plain nuts & had to be reviewed right away. This placed Bali and tomorrow's review- Seeding of a Ghost- on the back-burner. In addition, I have written about the film in at least one list, making me feel like I was already done with it. So what is the movie about? Basically, it is about what happens when reporters get too deep in a story. It is also about what crazy wizard lady will do to get revenge on society. Mind you, this is quite different from Queen of Black Magic, although both hail from the same country. Both films do features some bizarre and dated special effects, so that is something to look forward to. This is...

Mystics in Bali

The film begins by introducing us to our heroine- a spunky reporter who has the burning desire to get a story. The story is about the secret society of the Leyak, the Indonesian equivalent to an evil voodoo spirit. She settles into the environment very well, even hitting it off with a local man. He introduces her to an evil witch, who prefers to talk from behind some bushes. She makes our heroine do lots of errands for her, gathering certain objects. Of course, the weirdness comes in when the woman grabs an object from behind the bushes with her super-long tongue. Oh my God, its Gene Simmons! The lady gets more pushy towards our heroine, even telling her what underwear to put on. To her credit, our heroine picks up most of the big magical ideals very quickly. Actually, to be fair, she merely says that she does. Did you expect the movie to show you everything? Ha! That's just silly.

*

Unfortunately, the evil witch has some evil intentions for our heroine. What?!?!? Anyhow, she utters the infamous line 'I need to borrow your head for a while' and causes the woman's head to float off of her body! I bet you count on your hands how many films that you have seen that feature a Penanggalan. Don't worry, though- it's not going out alone. The body part is still connected to its spine and guts. The thing flies off in a slightly-very-dated special effects shot and seeks out a pregnant woman. It flies in through her window and goes to town on what's inside of her. For the record, they show nothing. For that, you'll have to watch Aswang- also on DVD from Mondo Macabro! This causes some havoc in town, however, and our heroine's friend suspects what is up. Gee, I wonder. Fortunately, his uncle is a good wizard and can help out. He reacts oddly-calm to the sight of the woman's headless body waiting in her house. His solution: stick a bunch of pins in the wound, which makes her head not able to return. Oh, that was easy.

*

It's not over yet, kiddies! The whole thing builds up to the battle between the witch and the wizard. Highlights include lots of drawn-on effects that feel taken from Roger Corman's The Raven, some flying and a person being turned into a pig. Man, how many Indonesian movies do I need to see with this happening in it?!? It's all a big, crazy mess and I won't spoil it for you. Just go see this already.

*

This movie is good, but definitely with some caveats. For starters, you have to understand the climate and time in which it was made. Rules in Indonesia actually required these guys to pump out movies on a regular basis- one for every five that is imported. If you ever wondered about the questionable quality and logic attached to these movies- see The Devil's Sword and The Warrior- this is your explanation. As for this movie, it is very steeped in regional mythology and may not be accessible to those who are not a fan of foreign horror. If you can accept the silly effects, you can have a good time with this. The 'crazy foreign horror film about magic' is something that was oddly popular in its day and quickly died out. I defy you to find a movie like this made in the last five or ten years. If nothing else, this features the insanely-awesome Mondo Macabro trailer reel. Ah reel, you never let me down!

*

Next on the agenda, a Shaw horror film about love, revenge and demonic wizards. You only get this kind of stuff from China! Stay tuned...

Mondo-nesia: Lady Terminator

Indonesia has proven to be a really strange place when it comes to film-making. This is the place that gave us a film about the dangerous practice of accusing women of being witches. Said film -The Queen of Black Magic- ends with the young woman actually becoming a witch & trying to kill everyone. Way to send mixed messages, guys! With that example, let's delve into what today's film really is: The Terminator. The names have changed, but the film is still the same. A crazed killer seeks out one woman for a strange reason and kills everyone that gets in their way. There are quite a few things that are different. For starters, our villain is a girl, albeit a mutated one. Secondly...no, that's just about it. Let's dive right into the crazy pool that is...

Lady Terminator

The film begins a long time ago with a beautiful queen that is greeted by an American man (at least in the version they sent us). They share a bed, but he spurns her offer of marriage. She takes it pretty badly, putting a curse on his family line. Cut to the present day, where a female is struck by an evil spirit. This effect is pretty damn weird, culminating in a weird scene where she gyrates on a bed in her underwear. In order to properly rip-off James Cameron's film, she walks slowly out of the water. Depending on where you lived, she was either wearing only a thong (America) or wearing a full dress (Asia). She exits the water and kills some random guy to get her outfit. This is obviously a rip-off, but it does spare us the displeasure of seeing 'Ahnuld's' ass, so it's not all negative. She becomes an unstoppable killing machine thanks to the evil Sea Witch's powers and has one goal: revenge. Mind you, it is revenge by proxy, but revenge nonetheless. Sadly, our heroine is not named Sarah.

*

As plot convenience would have it, our heroine knows an archaeologist who is looking into the evil Sea Witch lore. This should come in handy later. She also gets a strange dagger that literally serves no purpose for 99% of the movie. The possessed girl begins searching for the young woman, first targeting her at a mall. You know how this works right? She shoots, people die and our heroine escapes unharmed. What happens at the disco club? She shoots, people die and our heroine escapes unharmed again. One does have to wonder how our villainess is immune to bullets and deaths though. How does magic make your skin bullet-proof? Are we to assume that magic adapts for society, like the ancient spell that allows you to control bulldozers? To make matters worse, they adjust this logic later, but only when they are attempting to rip-off more moments from James Cameron's film. I also have to question the scene where she pulls one of her eyes out with a pen. One- it serves no purpose other than to ape the other film. Two- are we saying that no stray bullets hit her eyes? Clearly, those are vulnerable. Maybe I'm too picky...

*

The film continues to build and build in a nice way. For example, we start out with her battling thugs, escalate to her fighting undercover cops & go up from there. Sadly, she does not do the famous line before she does the entire 'police headquarters shoot-out' scene. This does have its own good parts, such as the trailer moment where she shoots one cop about 50 times with an AK-47 and then kicks his corpse for a more personal touch. More escalation, film! The final battle involves more cops, a helicopter and a freaking bazooka! She emerges from the blast with her skin burned off (because bullets produce no heat on their own) and starts firing eye-lasers! When did this turn into The Dark? Man, I wonder if anything can kill this thing?!? She just 'offed' 90% of the cast here! Oh no, she's about to kill our heroine. What could possibly...oh, she just stabbed the lady terminator with the dagger that she had the whole time. It's dead. The End.

*

Yeah, this ending is a bit silly, even when you consider everything that preceded it. It really is that abrupt. As for the whole movie, it is bizarre, cheesy fun. I mean, it's Lady f-ing Terminator! It has '80s fashions, disco dancing (Indonesia is on a slight time-delay) and stupid effects. That's not forgetting how many people are just mowed down by a tiny woman in a leather jacket with a machine gun! Unlike a lot of foreign import films, the plot is actually secondary to the effects and the action. After sitting through such long-seeming films like The Wig and Uzumaki, it is a nice change of pace. The film has been restored pretty well by the folks at Mondo Macabro and there are the usual features explaining the subject matter. If nothing else, enjoy the famous Mondo Macabro trailer reel- that never disappoints! Besides, that song will never ever escape your mind.

*

Let's return to America to uncover a secret conspiracy involving murder, grave-robbing and...cat food. Stay tuned...

Mondonesia: Dangerous Seductress

It has been a while since I reviewed a Mondo Macabro movie. Like with the Fulci films, I almost felt like I was over-exposing them. Plus, I had this weird mental gaffe where I completely forget about doing them. Either way, they are back. Up first is a movie made in Indonesia, but filmed entirely in English. Is it an awkward experience? Yes. Is the movie completely insane? A big Yes. The movie is chock full of the stuff that I love, but is it a solid experience? Find out in my review of...

Dangerous Seductress

The film begins with a dangerous police chase through the streets of an Indonesian city. A bunch of criminals have stolen some random jewelry. After a few minutes of this, a car crashes and one of the man's fingers flies off. More importantly, the mysterious ring on said finger flies off. The ground sucks the object up and we get to meet our main villain: a mysterious witch. She was buried underground and her body torn apart. Using the power of the ring, she is able to bring part of her body together, but she is still rooted to the ground. She needs some blood to complete the spell and gain her freedom- but where will she get that from? The film cuts...a woman being abused by her boyfriend- lovely. Also the woman is a bottle blond and this is supposed to be in Los Angeles, although all we ever see is the inside of a building. She eventually gets away and calls her sister, who just happens to be a model over in, wait for it, Indonesia. Road trip!

*

The young lady settles in pretty quickly, ending up in her sister's lovely mansion. Unfortunately, her sister has to go off for a few days to do a fashion shoot. She gets left behind in the big house by herself, with only her sister's fiancee to keep her company occasionally. The good news is that she discovers some lovely reading material: a big book of black magic. Faster than you can say 'easy plot device,' the witch takes over the young woman and transforms her into the titular character. One fashion montage and one slutty cocktail dress later and she is out on the town. She gets all the Indonesian men all hot and bothered. She goes home with one Australian man (by the way, the movie is full of these guys) after causing another man to crash his car when he tries to follow them. After a long bit of teasing and undressing, she shoots with a harpoon gun (apparently all house boats have one) and kills him. The witch appears in a mirror and sucks all the blood the woman gains through it. It only gets better.

*

The movie sort of coasts for a while on two scenarios: the girl kills some man and the sister gets visited by a mysterious woman. All of the foreshadowing for the finale is done by the woman who just appears and disappears at random. She never just says 'your sister is possessed by a demon- go home!' Way to helpful, you damn apparition! Meanwhile, the girl kills more men, including three in one scene set in a meat plant. Go for the high score! She gives more blood to the witch, while a detective investigates the whole thing. Unfortunately, he meets his end at the end of the witch's magic- so much for that plot thread. The sister eventually comes home and ends up battling her sister. Thanks to the help of a mysterious mystic that looks like a cross between Bobby McFerrin and Mr. T. We get a super overload of special effects (read: light flashes and overlays) before the big, bombastic finale. All in all, a very weird experience.

*

This movie is really, really weird. If you just stop to analyze the whole thing, the weirdness is only magnified. This is an Indonesian production, featuring many people from the country, a pair of blond models, that weird black guy and a future WWE Diva Search Contestant. This is China Strike Force all over again! Thankfully, this film does not feature Coolio in any way. It does have one of the weirdest Netflix description captions of all time though- 'This campy horror flick features the special-effects makeup artistry of Steve Prouty, the master behind such films as The Cat in the Hat and the live-action How the Grinch Stole Christmas.' Really- that's the best you can do? I guess that will have to do.

*

Up next, a tale of love, betrayal and...a Golem? Stay tuned...

Mondo-nesia: The Warrior

Indonesia is a strange place. They have given us such odd classics as The Queen of Black Magic, Mystics in Bali and Lady Terminator. They also brought us The Devil's Sword, which shares the same lead as today's film...

The Warrior

On top of being a rare, foreign import film, it is also an adaptation of a famous comic book from this country. A crazy, action comic-book film from Indonesia? Need I say more? I suppose so.

*

This movie takes place during the Dutch occupation of the country. You all remember that, right? Let's move on. A freedom fighter named Jaka Sembung is standing strong against them, much like a very kick-ass Gandhi. In the beginning, he escapes from a chain-gang and prepares another attack. This leads the clearly-not-Dutch to seek out a powerful fighter to kill him. One finds them, however, and makes his way right into their compound.

*

How tough, you ask? I dunno, how about super-strength? That do anything for ya?
How about the power to absorb bullets from 200 yards...with super-tough skin?!?
How about the power...to be stabbed through the head by Jaka Sembung? Well, now he's dead.

*

In most films, I would wonder how the back of his head is vulnerable while the front is not. In this film, it is the most logical thing. After this failure, they get a little desperate. They hire a wizard with buck teeth to resurrect an even more powerful wizard. They are sold after he demonstrates Yoda-esque powers on one of the 'Dutch' lieutenants. The new wizard re-attaches his body to his head and gets to work. The villains draw out Jaka and our villain kicks his ass with Jedi magic. They're doomed.

*

At this point, the film ventures into blatantly ripping off other famous heroes' stories. For example, Jaka is blinded and, later, bursts free of prison by pulling out the pillars. Sound familiar? That's Samson. During his escape attempt, he is turned into a pig and chased away. Is that Greek enough for you? The film does have some of it's own ideas though. One of Jaka's allies is wounded during his rescue and dies, so a good wizard gives him her eyes via magic. Yes, they show it. It is time for payback!

*

Jaka has an epic battle against the wizard, which you can see here. It involves flying limbs, leaping people and swords. It is epic and completely weird. I was sold on the movie on this clip alone and you likely will be too. With that out of the way, him and his troops go to assault the main compound. This is a great series of scenes, save for the forced inclusion of the lone comic character. We don't always need them, Asian filmmakers! Jaka kills the General and everyone lives happily ever after. Oh wait, he's not dead and accidentally kills his daughter. Okay, most people live happily ever after.

*

It is time to cover something new- namely, our neighbors from the stars. Stay tuned...

Mondo Week: Queen of Black Magic

You know that I could not stay away, right? I just love weird, foreign films and actual good transfers of them. Today's film comes from Indonesia, a country that has brought us good films (Lady Terminator), great films (The Devil's Sword) and abominations (Virgins from Hell). Which one will this be? It is called...

Queen of Black Magic

This is actually directed by the same man who did Sword and another upcoming review. This seems like a good sign.

*

A young woman has a problem: she is having an affair with the big man in the village, but he won't commit. When she really presses the issue before his wedding, he accuses her of being a practitioner of black magic. They chase her out of town and stone her. Just to be dicks, they toss her off of a cliff. The End, right?

*

Wrong. As luck would have it, an actual practitioner of black magic catches her and heals her up. Now with a focus on revenge, she begins to get trained in the evil arts. She is a quick learner and begins to plan the course of her actions. The first step is to kill one of the villagers with attack bees. Nothing can distract her from her...ooh, a man.

*

Our heroine/villain is thrown off of her plans for a while when she runs into a 'hot guy' by the river. Despite her being a famous 'villain' in the area, the new guy knows absolutely nothing. He has showed up to make sure that no black magic is still being done in the area. This won't end awkwardly at all.

*

The high points of the movie all revolve around the black magic. My favorite is still the spell she puts on her former beau. Using her powers, she forces him to walk into the center of town and rip his own head off. No, really. She then makes it fly around and attack people. When the good magicians try to stop it, it sets aflame. Can this get any better? No, that's pretty much it.

*

I don't really need to finish up my plot summary, do I? Once you've read that last paragraph, you have definitely decided whether or not to see it. Nothing else can supersede that. I really enjoyed this movie, even if there really is not all that much substance to it. Enjoy, people.

*

Do you like zombies and computer animation? I'll appease you weirdos. Stay tuned...

Mondo Week: The Devil's Sword

We've reached the end of the road people. While Mondo Macabro will always be a part of my life,- I gots to have more Indian horror- this is the last update day. Well, until I do another one. Never say never in this business when you can watch...

The Devil's Sword

This movie is basically a sword-and-sandal movie, mixed with a lot of Wuxia (the flying Chinese people movies) and fantasy. Since it comes to us from our brothers in the Eastern hemisphere, we can get a guarantee of cultural weirdness as well. Good stuff.

*

Okay, so there is this evil Crocodile Queen. Before you ask, she is NOT a crocodile herself. Given this kind of movie, there was a chance, I know. She is just their buxom, evil and horny leader. Fortunately, this film is saved from fetish notoriety due to her lust for MEN and not humanoid reptiles. Now that we're spared from that imagery...anymore, let's get to the real meat of the film.

*

If you like flying, flipping and hand lasers, this is your movie. The plot involves the evil Queen's attempt to get the film's macguffin 'The Devil's Sword.' It is all-powerful and looks badass, so, naturally, everyone else wants it to. Our hero is a very manly man who kills with ease. In his way are three dangerous assassins. This should be a walk in the park for him.

*

This movie is not only action packed, but trippy as all hell. Aside from having a guy with a sword fight crocodile men, you get witches, weird spirits and skeletons. It also teaches gravity just who is the boss around here! In a way, this film is a mix of Conan the Barbarian and El Topo. Of course, I don't like the latter at all (bye bye, indie cred). However, the crazy 'I don't know where I'm going, but I like it' feel of the cult film is there. If you can take the insanity and survive the experience, you will be better (and crazier) for it.

*

Well, we now return you to my normal crap for a while. Stay tuned...

International Cinema Extravaganza (Part 3)

Island of Death

Vacations are not complete without fun, sun and vicious murder. A young couple travel to a Grecian island in order to meet the populace and kill them. Their plan usually involves luring men to places with the promise of the girl's charms, only for it to turn lethal in a hurry. They kill a painter, but only after he gets to have his way with her. So, they are not all bad. The pair then kills a local gay duo, who acts like worse stereotypes than animals in Disney films. After a while, the woman begins to suspect that he enjoys killing too much for her taste, though, of course, this does not stop her from having sex with him in public or assisting in the murders. This movie was very controversial in its day, getting put on the 'Video Nasty List.' It is easy to see why. The director states in an interview on the DVD that he was hired to make a controversial murder movie in the wake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre's runaway success. Every character is setup as a cliché or stereotype in order to get full effect when they are killed. At least he does not try to hide it by saying that it is an indictment against consumer culture or claim that it is based on real events that you never heard of. Island is a shameless movie that does not think that it is Citizen Kane. Does it make it noteworthy? Not really.

Terminatrix

Yes, it is a foreign, soft-core porn version of Terminator. I could just stop here, but that would be lazy. A lady robot is sent back in time to kill John Connor…I mean, Shinseki Connor. I was joking about the last part…mostly. She drops in naked while a young couple is in mid-coitus, ruining the mood. The woman's clothes are taken, but things get worse. Another woman drops in minutes later, except that she is there to stop the robot. She gets in trouble for stealing clothes from a school girl, but all that passes when the plot becomes too important. The sex-bot goes about screwing everyone who has the same name as our protagonist, all the while never showing two key parts of the human sexual anatomy. Eventually, both women meet him and chaos ensues. By chaos, I mean attempted screwing to death and scenes of a 100-lb Japanese woman beating up men. The movie is about as bad as you might expect, adding boobs to cover up plot holes. If you watch this to see naked women, you will be disappointed, since it is two- mostly one- throughout. Plus, all sex scenes end with bad fates for the men, killing the 'climaxes.' The movie is weird. That is not always enough.

Virgins from Hell

An exploitation film about dirty things happening that cannot show any of them? Are you serious? A group of motorcycle-riding women in spandex rob a gangster amidst several hails of gunfire. During their second mission, however, they fall into a trap and are captured by the big boss. They are submitted to sexual tortures…or so we are told. What we are shown is the woman doing manual labor and bickering in what looks like a giant tiger cage. As many die in failed escape attempts, they must band together in one last effort to gain freedom! This movie from Indonesia is a big disappointment. It is cheesy and fun at first, but fails to live up to anything it promises. The most explicit scene involves two women who join up with the boss. They dance for him in slips before he starts to whip them. I don't know why. The reason has to do with cultural standards of the country. This begs the question: why do a film about this when you know that you cannot show anything? I wish I could tell you. Bottom line: great trailer, bad movie.