Anime Films: Golgo 13- Assignment Kowloon

 A tribute to a legend lost in the only way that I could.  

Well, that's not entirely true.  

As you can imagine, I own quite a few Sonny Chiba Films.  This just happens to be one that I've never watched, so I picked this one.  

Golgo 13- Assignment Kowloon is a 1977 Film based on the Manga of the same name.  I clearly don't know current Anime that well, so I'm definitely in the dark as far as '70s Manga/Anime is concerned.  I do know that Golgo 13 apparently ran for a really long time and got at least 2 Live Action Films.  

This is the 2nd, since, again, it's the one that I own.  I've since gotten a copy of the first Film- which was shot entirely in Iran- and I should check that out soon.  This isn't one of those stories that matters so much which order you watch it in.  

The basic premise- Duke Togo is Golgo 13, an Assassin that carries out missions all over the World.  There's not much to explain, so that makes my job easier.  

To see how a Martial Arts Legend took on an (apparent) Classic Manga Character (the 2nd time), read on...

An American hires Golgo to kill a Chinese Crime Syndicate Leader.

Surprisingly, this is, in fact, NOT Werner Herzog.
I double-checked.

He has 2 people watching the deal go down, so Golgo just whips out his rifle (carried in a bag) and shoots them.

Weirdly, the 2nd guy just kind of stands there in shock after his buddy was shot clean in the head.

It's called Fight or Flight for a reason...and you're dead.

He goes to, well, guess from the Title to take care of the guy.

Complicating matter is the Police, who are also out to get the bad guy.

Naturally, it is one young, charismatic and handsome Detective leading the case.

The bad guy, of course, has a cover and lots of goons at his disposal.

When one Cop is captured and later killed, however, all bets are off!

Twists and turns come up as Golgo's target is killed by someone else and now he has to find THAT killer.

This leads to him going back to Japan, which feels like a bit of a cheat given the Title, no?

Can he get the real bad guy without being killed first?

Of course he can.

Seeing how he does it is still pretty interesting though.  The End.

A solid, if basic Film.  The basic Plot- guy goes to kill someone and complications ensue- is just a way to keep people in motion.  

If you're looking for big Plot Twists and turns, you'll get more elsewhere.  

If you're looking for Sonny Chiba being bad-ass, you're in the right place.  His natural aura and presence really carries the Film.  

As Golgo, he's not exactly the most nuanced Character.  For instance, he helps a woman who shoots the guy who raped her Sister.  He helps her, however, by telling the Cops that someone else did it.  He's not the guy who help her take out the bad guy...so complex?  This, of course, pays off in the Third Act, since Movie.  

The dynamic of him as, let's be honest, a bad guy who kills other bad guys could and has worked in many other Films.  As it is, it's hard to get super-invested in him as a Character.  

The Film has a nice, gritty look with its City Scenes and the big Island finale.  It's not helped for me, unfortunately, by some technical issues.  My copy is from the 2004 Release which is just about passable.  

Unfortunately for me, the Subbed Version (which I usually prefer) is somehow worse quality and has hard to read subtitles.  Oh well- Dubbed it is.  

The Ending is all sorts of busy, since it involves fighting, a shoot-out, a fake escape and a real escape.  In a Make the Hero Look Impossibly Good cheat, they just explain how Golgo got 10 steps ahead of everyone, climbed a mountain, lined up a shot and killed the bad guy...off-screen.  

I can't speak for how this matches up to the Manga and Anime, but I'm curious enough to check them out.  

Hopefully they are worth it...

Next up, I cover the other Vampire Film on the Disc.  Will it be less depressing or just as bad?  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: WXIII- Patlabor the Movie 3 (Part 2)

After an unplanned delay (my bad), we'll get to see the fates of some other poor guys.

At the thirty minute mark, we see the titular creature emerge!

It did so by breaking into a Power Facility.  Along for the trip with our Leads, we get a pair of Security Guards.

Ouch.  He's dead.

Another guard- one is with each Lead- is further away from the creature, so he gets to live a bit longer.

Just not much.

He's done for.

So yeah, they died, while our Heroes lived.

They showed that the Film had stakes...if you were an unnamed Guard.  You get to live if you have a Backstory.

The lesson: only work daytime shifts.  Nothing happens to Guards during the day, right?

Next time, another day, another Cop.  I'm getting accidentally-topical, eh?  See you then...

Live-Action Anime: Crying Freeman

A Film brought to you by Canada, France, China and Japan!  This is Crying Freeman, the 1995 Live-Action Version that is.  It is the tale of an assassin who falls in love and battles against his Masters.  He's forced to do the job, you see, and his body shows his regret in a simple way- crying.  Just don't act like he doesn't fit your macho ideal of what a man is or else he's chop your head off!  The Production aspects of the Film are almost more interesting than the core concept here- sorry, core concept.  It is based on an Anime and Manga from Japan.  The Production was split between Japan and Canada.  It has Chinese Producers.  It has Brian Yuzna as a Producer.  It is Directed by Christophe Gans, who is decidedly not Chinese or Japanese.  It's Lead- Mark Dacascos- has a mix of Chinese, Spanish, Filipino and Japanese blood.  It features Japanese Actors, Chinese Actors, French Actors and American Actors.  It's an interesting gumbo of a production.  Is the actual Film still interesting?  To see how good this Film that we in America were never given (for some reason), read on...

The Film begins properly with some pretentious narration (re-dubbed, since the Actress wasn't deemed 'sensual enough' apparently) about how our Female Lead met an Assassin.

She does so in Canada (although they say it is San Francisco), seeing him as he kills some Japanese men in the Woods- as you do.

He doesn't kill her, choosing to leave instead.

The father of the main person killed (Mako!) works with the Canadian Government to find the woman, since she's a witness and a 'target.'

So yeah, he's obviously evil.

The Freeman- Dacascos- shows up and kills him, but our Lead recognizes him during his escape, drawing attention to her.

The Lead Detective (Tcheky Karyo) is working with the bad guys, but that's not his biggest crime...

For some reason, all of his dialog was re-dubbed in Post-Production by Ron Perlman!  Why cast the French guy if you don't want him to sound French?!?

The Assassin and the woman fall in love & he eventually reveals his backstory.  He was a Potter who was kidnapped, tattooed and forced to become an assassin for a Chinese Triad group.

For the Third Act, everything moves over to Japan and behind closed doors scheming goes on.

The mission goes on for Freeman as he takes out more villains, losing his Handler in the process.

It all leads to a big sword fight in the Woods.  Freeman and his lady cover their tracks until their further adventures in...oh right, this didn't become a Trilogy.  Never mind.  The End.

Some bloody action and style, but not a whole lot of substance.  The Story is simple and effective.  The Action is quite good.  Before Tom Cruise got all the attention for it, people like Dacascos were doing all of their own Stunts too.  The Film has a very good look to it.  If you've seen a Christophe Gans Film- like Brotherhood of the Wolf-, you'll know that he can shoot Action well.   If you want to see a Film with great Action, this is one for you.  The Story, unfortunately, doesn't play out nearly as well as the Action Scenes do.  Dacascos is not *that* charismatic in this Role and his minimal dialog doesn't help him that much.  The whole thing is all sorts of weird- the Triad kidnaps and creates Assassins rather than just training them- and is right out of Anime (which it is).  It's not the most engaging Story, simply getting the people from Point A to Point B.  The Film is rare for Americans to see- for no clear reason- so it does have that going for it.  All in all, Crying Freeman is a good Action Film, but will not be mistaken for a great Drama.  Here's one last international quirk for you: the Film features a handful of bits with the Chinese Actors speaking in their native tongue...and only gives you French subtitles!

Next time, more craziness from the random set of Films I need to watch.  You'll know when I know.  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: Ghost in the Shell (2017)

Swing and a miss!  Why anyone thought that re-doing a Classic and adding so many problems was a good idea is anyone's guess at this point...

In some future, we make Robots with Human Brains...because Science.  This leads to the creation of Major (name omitted for most of the Film).

In case they had any Studio concerns about the Casting, they almost mock it by literally having her character be white-washed right at the beginning of the Film.

A short time later, she is now working for the government as part of their desire to replicate visuals from the 1995 Anime, but with a different context.  Oh and stopping bad guys too.

Robo-geishas!  Instead of being like the Japanese Film of the same name, they actually get controlled by *Not* The Puppet Master to kill Scientists.

Did the Full Moon Series really sully the name that bad since 1995?

This Deus Ex Character has a connection to *The Major* and is behind all the bad stuff.  Is he justified when the truth comes out?

No.  He's Michael Pitt, so...always evil.

Can she get to the truth?  Can she handle the truth?  Did you just do a Jack Nicholson impersonation when you read that?  I know that I did.

More importantly, can Takeshi Kitano get paid enough to speak English?

To find out the answer to those questions, watch the Film (if you insist).

Not that good.  Can I get past the whitewashing of the Story?  Can I get past how European the whole thing feels (with Johanson, Pitt, Pilou Asbaek and a British Director in Rupert Sanders)?  To note, they do have 'Beat' Takeshi Kitano in it, which does help matters.  On the flip-side, they highlighted the Casting of Rila Fukushima...and then had her not actually appear in the Film.  Yes, they pattern the Geishas on her face, but...no.  They also cast a Chinese Actor as 'Togusa' and based the City on Hong Kong, so...I'm just all sorts of confused.  Getting past the whole aesthetic issues of Casting and Setting, the Film is just...kind of dull.  It's Action Scenes aren't shot that well and the best parts are just loose recreations of the 1995 Anime.  Why don't I just watch that again?  They only thing they add to the Story is unnecessary back-story and amalgamations of Characters from different Stories in the Universe.  In other words, it is a Remake...with new elements, mixed-up elements and a desire to make you think of the Original too.  Confusing!  It's honestly not worth the attention.  Japan should just handle this one next time.  Lastly, let me clear this up- even though they are extemporaneous, the Original Suit did have nipples...

It looks neat (if busy), but feels pretty hollow.  For a Film who's message involves looking beyond the exterior, that is a highly-ironic flaw!

90s Class: Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Hollywood has a way of making me watch stuff I already should have.  Today's Film is Ghost in the Shell, the 1995 Anime Film that is arguably the second-most-famous.  If your Live-Action Adaptation doesn't suck, you may overtake Akira.  They keep putting off its Film, so go for it!  Yes, this is the first time I've watched Ghost.  In case it is not already clear, I've never been a big Anime Guy.  In spite of how famous this one is, I didn't watch this one until just recently.  If you don't know, the Plot involves Kusanagi working for Section 9 to find a mysterious Puppet Master.  If Six-Shooter shows up, I'm leaving!  This one has become very famous over the years and copied by many.  Even after all this time, the question remains- do I like it?  To find out, read on...

In the year 2029, Section is trying to catch a mysterious Hacker known as The Puppet Master.  They send in their best agent...

She makes quick work of a Government Agent offering him asylum and shows off her invisibility suit...which sounds counter-intuitive.

Ouch.

The mysterious Puppet Master is hacking into people's digital minds (aka Ghosts) for his own ends.

She tracks down people close to the Puppet Master, having a fight so iconic that they outright copied it for the new Film.  Could be worse.

In an interesting twist, they set this guy up as the most obvious 'Going to die for tragedy' and then don't!  Kudos.

The whole Story is pulled back and forth between 90s-style Action Scenes and Existential Dialog.

The Puppet Master argues for his existence and yadda yadda.  It is all super-deep, yo.

Kusanagi goes for a big, climactic battle against a tank that nearly cripples her 'body.'  She links up with The Puppet Master to end things once and for all.

In the end, the Puppet Master is gone and she has evolved...or something.  It is all very complicated.  The End.

It is easy to see why this is such a notable Film.  For something made 20 years ago, it looks quite great.  Just to be clear- I did not watch the 2.0 Version.  From what I gather, it is just the *good* version of the Special Edition-style Film.  The Story is complicated, but still pretty engrossing.  This was made in 1995, so there is going to be an obsession with A.I., Hackers and all that jazz.  They give you some nice, simple glimpses into Kusanagi without giving away too much.  She keeps her general mystique, while also being a bit relatable.  Who can't relate to what is basically an Android who shoots people and turns invisible?  The Film is most notable for its sense of style.  Thankfully, it looks less like Blade Runner than the new, live-action one does!  The Action is quite good here, thanks to fluid Animation that helps keep it vibrant.  The only, minor, downside for me is just how entrenched the Film gets in its own techno-babble lore.  Some of you love it- that's fine.  For me, it was a bit too much by the end.  All in all, Ghost in the Shell is undisputedly a classic of Anime Films, in spit of my minor complaints.  That said, what is with the 1980s Fashion in 2029?

Next up, the long-delayed Sequel.  Will it be more soaring action and less Sartre?  Stay tuned...

WTF Japan?!?: Hentai Kamen- The Abnormal Crisis

And now for something completely different!  Today's Film is Hentai Kamen: The Abnormal Crisis, a 2016 Action-Adventure Film from Japan.  It is the Sequel to a 2013 Film Adaptation of the infamous Manga/Anime.  How did I not do that one again?  In any event, I watched this one, so let's go with it!  The Film tells the continued adventures of Hentai Kamen, a Crimefighter who wears women's panties on his face to give him strength.  I'll give you a moment.  All good?  Great.  This Film features panty-stealing Villains, Mutant Crab Mechs and arguably the world's worst Unconventional Mentor.  Can he be a normal person?  Can he be a good Boyfriend?  Can he stop the panty-stealing Villain from his past?  To find out (minus SPOILERS), read on...

Hentai Kamen fights crime in only a speedo and women's panties on his face.  He's great, apparently.

He fights crime by thrusting his pelvis and other things that involve his dick.  This is apparently hilarious in Japan because...balls.

His Girlfriend wants him to give up fighting crime since he's a total pervert as Hentai Kamen.

To be fair, you are dating him and you did give him your panties, so...

He tries to do what she wants, but is pulled into action when a new Villain shows up.

He's not alone, however, as Panties continue to be stolen.  Yes, I wish I got paid for every time I wrote the word 'Panties' in this Review.

When he's personally targeted, our Hero realizes that it may be a villain from his past back for revenge.

In a weird bit, this Film goes all-out on directly-parodying Spider-Man 2.  Yes, that 2004 Film is ripe for the picking in....2016.

In his darkest hour, our Hero meets a face from his past that puts him on the path he needs to be on.

Unfortunately, he's stuck with this weirdo.  Is Japan doomed to be sans Panties?  Can our Hero save the day?  Will this Film break the world record for shots of a man's crotch in a thong?

To find out the answer to these questions, watch the Film.

Silly, silly stuff.  This one is just plain weird.  It tries to be full-on ridiculous and it certainly succeeds.  A man wears Panties on his face (which turn into a Mask for some reason) to fight crime.  Criminals steal Panties from Japan with giant Vacuums.  A Robot-Crab-Octopus thing exists for some reason.  In spite of that, the Film didn't quite work for me.  First off, the Film has no real Straight Man for the Comedy.  Our Hero is certainly not one, as he alternates from goody-goody to man who rubs people's face against his bulge in combat.  With no serious person to juxtapose it all, the Film is just constant, silly nonsense.  Secondly, the Film is too long.  It clocks in at nearly 2 Hours, which is a bit too much for a Film with so little unique material.  Find it funny to watch Hentai Kamen beat his foes by making them rub their face against his bulge?  Well, good news- you get to see it about 1,000x.  The Film clearly knows what it wants to do.  Unfortunately, it didn't do what I wanted to: end about 20 minutes earlier.  Don't take this as TOO much of an insult though: it's just a fact.  If you liked the Manga or Anime, you may forgive this.  While I love Japanese Crazy, this one is just too much random nonsense to sit through in one go.  On the plus side, their Parody of the Marvel Cinematic Opening Titles is kind of cute.

Next up, a Film notable for all of the wrong reasons.  Unfortunately, most people don't know the actual Film, so let's change that.  Stay tuned...