Tubi Thursday: Berserker (1987)

 A Film that sounds great on paper.

A Film that I've never heard of.

Will I be excited or disappointed?

A Viking Boat rides up to the shore.
(and no, it's not THIS Berserker Film)

A man in a bear mask and cloak emerges!

...and he kills two old people, mostly off-camera.

I think the Couple is a Parody of the one from On Golden Pond, since '80s.

The main Plot kicks in with, say it with me, a bunch of young people going out to the Woods to drink and party.

Even in 1987, this was pretty stock, no?

We also get the Campfire Exposition bit as Nerdy Guy reads a book about the Berserkers, setting up what they are, what they do and setting up the obvious Twist at the end.

After In A Violent Nature, this really stands out.

They hang around at the Cabin (after meeting the Owner- George 'Buck' Flower) for a while.

They eventually wander off for, well, you know, and the Film really drags it out.

After about 10 minutes of wandering, the off-screen Berserker kills two ladies...by rubbing his hand on their faces and making them bloody.

Yeah, that was worth the wait.

More wandering.
More arguing.
More filler.

At the hour mark, the group is split up with the Lead and Nerdy Guy together, as the latter tripped and broke his leg.

Enter- for the first time since the Intro- our Title Character!

Deus Ex Bear (who they have been cutting to randomly since the beginning)!

The two roll around and the wounded killer runs off.

No, really.

The survivors get the Sheriff and shoot him dead, since he conveniently wandered over in a wounded state.

He's killed, but 'respawns' as the Owner!
What a twist!  The End.

What a bloody waste of time.

Bad Slasher Films can be fun if they do a few things.

Have weird Heavies/Killers.
Are amazingly dated.
Feature fun/bloody VFX and prosthetics.

This Film hits the first one...and barely uses him.
The Soundtrack did give me some pleasure, as it almost sounds like a Satire of '80s Soundtracks.
The Film REALLY lacks the later, choosing just to wipe 'blood' on people and then cut to them with slash marks.

It is very easy to make a Film like this fun.
They failed.

At least we get George 'Buck' Flower dressed as a Sea Captain in the Woods of Utah...for some reason.

This Film sounds fun and cheesy, but it just oddly generic.  I'd honestly kill for a Remake of this.