'00s Fun: Splinter (2008)

 I guess it is an easy to be a hidden gem if you are just a splinter.  Yes, the obvious joke first.  This is Splinter, a 2008 Horror Film that I've heard about before.  On a Film called The 50 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen, this one was featured.  It's about time I got to it!  The Plot involves a strange creature, a hostage situation and a life-and-death struggle for survival.  So it is not a Comedy?!?  The Film features a number of people that might be recognizable, although none has gotten *that* role that makes them mega-stars.  Even so, working steady and being featured in lots of stuff is more than many get.  In a curious comparison, one Actor was in the Unsold Pilot of a Show version of L.A. Confidential, while a Writer worked on the TV Show Version of Training Day, another famous Cop Film.  The Director impressed me here, which is kind of disappointing when I realize after the fact that he did The Grudge 3- yikes.  Since the Film is recent enough, I won't SPOIL everything.  Plus, it is free to stream online, so you should check it out.  Until then, lock the door and hide the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as we talk about...

A couple- Jill Wagner and Paulo Costanzo- are out for their Anniversary.  

Their plan to go Camping is ruined, but they drive to town...only to get stopped by 2 strangers.

Said Strangers are escaped criminals who need them to make their escape.

Hey look- it's the Chief from Agent Carter!

They fix their flat after running over a strange, spine-covered creature, but then the radiator starts to overheat.

Time to get some supplies from a Gas Station.

Incidentally, should you get the freaky wound from one of the splinters looked at?

I feel like 'yes' is the answer.

Earlier in the day, the same creature that they ran over attacked the Gas Station Attendant.

The splinters have the weird effect of reanimating him, so that's not good!

More victims are made and one of them has a loose limb end up inside the Station.

It's...not pretty.

It can work around on its own and attacks!

 At least it's not a head spider.

Can the infected people be stopped or is the freaky nature of the monster too great?

Can they escape with their lives?

To find out, watch the Film.  It's free, so why not?

A fun, freaky Film.  The idea here is a good one.  A monster attacks you, kills you and then reanimates you.  Is it unique?  Is it unheard of?  No.  Does that take anything away from this Film?  No.  The Film really leans into the Body Horror of it all, as the reanimated bodies quiver and twitch as they move.  They move about in sudden, frantic motions like someone who can't quite see them or knows how puppeteering works is behind them.  It is a good effect for being unrealistic-looking- how rare is that?  If you Google the Film, you will find that they used credible Stunt Performers from an Acrobat Background, which would explain the awkward fluidity of it all.  That gets to the double-edged sword here.  On one hand, they only used Practical Effects- which I love.  On the other hand, said use of Practical Effects meant that some parts are hard to follow due to the Shaky Cam phenomenon brought on by the Bourne Films.  So you can't always follow everything- mostly at the end- but what you can see looks great.  They try to ground the Film, which is nice.  It is just a freaky, undiscovered beast, as opposed to involving Magic or some sort of Sci-Fi experiments.  There's no Prequel or Sequel here to undo my praise- thank Xenu!  I would like to see this idea be revisited and done with more of a Budget.  Imagine what they could do more with more scope and more of a presentation.  Even so, Splinter is a bit of a hidden gem, especially as far as Indie Horror Films go.  Plus it has this kick-ass Japanese Poster that I was tempted to save for later!

Next up, I cover a long-forgotten Classic right in time for the Remake.  What a weird coincidence, eh?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming- 'The Boys': 'Nothing Like It in the World'

 After some delays, let's resume this, shall we?

If you're like me, you haven't finished the Season yet.
Let's make it through this together, shall we?

This is...

A great many things happen in this Episode.  

I'll do my best to give you an idea of what happens without SPOILing everything.

For starters, Butcher finds his Wife. 
Will this end happily?

A-Train gets some bad news about his future in The Seven.
What will this drive him to do?

Homelander makes a power play or two.
Will this benefit him or set him up for failure?

Lastly, the death of someone close to them drives one of our Heroes to do something risky.
Will she regret this decision?

To find out, stream the Show.

The fun and intrigue are just getting started.  This Episode moves alot of things in the right direction.  We get more interaction between Starlight and the Main Cast.  We get to see Homelander slowly driven crazier and more desperate.  We learn more about a villainous Hero than we expected.  So many bizarre things happen on this Show and I wouldn't even dare SPOIL the biggest one.  All I will say is that it involves Homelander working on his issues.  It is pretty messed up!  On a Show like this, they keep so many things moving that you may not feel like something big happened.  Once you take a step back, you'll realize that alot changed- it was just spaced out over a few (or more) Subplots.  The good Writing keeps you coming back here.  I will stick with this one to the end as I try to avoid SPOILERs for now.  Seriously, don't send them my way!

Next time, new information only makes things more dangerous.  What crazy stuff will happen next?  See you then...

Moon Over Miami: Frankenstein Reborn! (1998)

 Full Moon is getting another shot at this- let's see what they can do!  This Frankenstein Reborn!, a 1998 Direct-to-Video Horror Film.  It is not to be confused with 2005's Frankenstein Reborn, which was made by The Asylum.  That Film lacks the exclamation point in the Title, so I guess it more muted.  This is the 2nd Film in the Filmonsters Series by Full Moon.  Don't get too excited- there are only 2.  Yes, for reasons that aren't available (my guess is money not being made), the Series begins and ends with these 2 Films.  As you'll see later, they had more in immediate plans.  If you watch the Intro, you see them tease others like The Invisible Man and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  Oh well.  The Film doesn't change much,  but does add a random teenage girl to the Story.  Hmm...familiar.  Can the Director of A Talking Cat!?! deliver a good Frankenstein Film?  To find out, read on...

A young woman is sent to stay with her Uncle at his Castle.  Serious Deja Vu here!

I'm guessing that Dracula Reborn! would have had a young girl staying with her Uncle Jonathan Harker too, right?

Her Uncle- the good Doctor- is busy with his mysterious work and she's left to fend for herself.

Fortunately, she finds a young man- also like in the last Film- who has the same haircut that most boys had around this time, my own brother included.

He teaches her how to get around the Castle, which conveniently is timed to when the Doctor and his Assistant are working on their Adam...

…who, of course, escapes (to the same Woods from Werewolf Reborn!).

After he/it kills a random person in the Woods, there is no follow-up.  Odd how nobody seemed to care.

Our Heroine eventually finds him & sneaks him food and books.

Our Heroine continues to help him in secret, while the Assistant begins to get suspicious.

Inside she's confronted by a more subtle menace- the Boom Mic!

Back at the Castle, the Creature has been recaptured by the pair.

The Doctor- played by Baywatch's Jaason Simmons- begins to have second thoughts about 'killing' the Creature.  Violence isn't the answer...

..so he immediately attacks the Assistant.

The Creature arises from its, well, slab, to throw the guy into, um, the power source?  Cue fake lightning, since Full Moon.

This, of course, causes the whole Castle to burn down.  Should I ask about the Wait Staff in the Castle, since the Film doesn't?

Oh well- the End.

Basically the same Film you've seen many, many times.  What is actually new here?  Again- they just added a teenage girl as the Lead.  Did I miss something?  The make-up work is okay, but is definitely a bit too close to the Universal make-up.  They have a copyright on that design, in case you didn't know.  I'm kind of amazed they got by with just changing the skin from green to white and removing the neck bolts.  I mean, I'd sue them for it, but that's just me- an asshole.  The Acting is okay.  Jaason keeps popping up in Films I watch- like Ghost Rig and one I have in a Set for later viewing- for some reason.  Thanks?  There's nothing bad in this Film- just underwhelming.  It's alright.  It's not long enough to get too in-depth on anything, so just enjoy the brevity.  You can watch both Reborn! Films in the time it takes to watch your average Transformers Film (with time to spare).  I was hoping to find a better version of the Filmonsters Promo Art, but this will have to do.  Notice the two Films they didn't do...and also notice how they went from Wolfman Reborn! to Werewolf Reborn! there.  You might as well not risk that lawsuit if you're using the guy who already tempted fate with Dreamaniac... 

Next up, I cover a Film with a strange, animal killer.  It goes in a very weird direction, so enjoy.  Stay tuned...

'90s Trash: An American Werewolf in Paris (1997)

 How is the newer Film the more dated of the two?!?  This is An American Werewolf in Paris, a 1997 Horror Sequel that kind of isn't.  Let's get the obvious issue out of the way.  John Landis appears to have had nothing to do with this.  The only credit he's got here is as Based on Characters Created by John Landis.  Okay, I'll bite- what Characters?  The Nurse?  The Doctor?  Anyone?  It seems like someone bought the name so they could brand the Film and use a few key elements- which I will cover- and that required paying Landis.  I hope it was a nice check!  So how is this a Sequel?  Again- no recurring Characters I could see and there's just other Werewolves.  Is this a Sequel or an update?  The only connection is a very tangential one.  When his whims were threatened, Landis allegedly said that he could easily change the Film from An American Werewolf in London to An American Werewolf in Paris.  That's it.  The Plot involves a new Werewolf, a new City and...well, I'll get into the silliness.  To see why you either remember this as being bad or have never heard of it, read on...

A trio of thrillseekers go to Paris to do some stunts.  While on the Eiffel Tower, one of them- Tom Everett Scott- sees a woman jumping to her death and saves her.

When he recovers, he tracks her down, but she seems to be vacant.

He wins her over with his...charm, I guess, and she agrees to go out on a date with him.

What can go wrong?

He ends up going to a Party and she tries to stop him.  Something is odd about this gathering...

While getting him out, she transforms under the Full Moon and bites him!

He awakens and has all of his weird dreams in one clump- better get that part out of the way fast!

She explains to him what he is and he can't believe it...until her dead Mother shows up.
How does HE see her when he didn't kill her?!?

He doesn't believe that he's really going to be a Werewolf, but also misses the warning signs.
In this Film, Werewolves start to act odd as the Full Moon approaches, rather than just transforming.

Scott meets an American Girl and kills her.  Hey look- Julie Bowen!

Instead of running naked from the Zoo, he wakes up naked in a Cemetery.  Merdes!

David Naughton lost his spot in the 'Be A Pepper' Campaign due to all of the nudity in the original Film, so I guess Scott didn't want the same.

Now here's where things get interesting...and kind of bad.

Like in the last Film, Scott's friend hangs around as a ghost.  
On top of that, Bowen hangs around and they both argue with him.

Yes, there is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing.'

The Plot gets weird as we learn that the other Werewolves around the good one- Delpy- want to kill all 'bad humans' and be the 'master race.'

On top of that, Delpy's Parents tried to find a cure, but accidentally made a 'transform immediately' potion.  Oops.

It all ends in a big, muddled climax in the Sewers and Church.

The Werewolves attack.  The Police attack.

CGI abominations try to look convincing.

In the (official) end, our Hero and his lady get married and keep being adrenaline junkies to stave off their curse.  The End.

What a disappointment.  Where to begin?  For starters, the Plot isn't as good.  The whole 'Werewolves try to destroy humans' thing is kind of silly.  You turned tragic monsters into, well, Bond Villains.  It is like that last Hammer Dracula Film with Christopher Lee where he plans to poison everyone.  Secondly, it looks and feels worse.  They spent more money, but spent it on CGI.  I'm not an 'All CGI in Horror is a sin!' guy, but this is a case where it doesn't work.  They use it too much.  They use bad-looking effects.  If they had met the original halfway and done CGI for the transformation (the 90s loved morphing!) and practical for the suits, it might have worked.  With full CGI, it all looks...fake.  Am I wrong?  Look at that up there.  Does it look like anything other than a cartoon?  It just looks awful.  If you can get past that, the Writing is kind of silly.  The Comedy parts feel more forced than in London, which notably used long-takes and some bits of improvised dialog.  I should also note that the first third of the Film has a *very* '90s Soundtrack that dates it immensely.  If you like the Songs, you may not care.  Thankfully, it gets better...as everything else get works.  Alot of the Actors- especially Delpy- really commit and do their best.  It's just a shame that the Film lets everyone down.  In case you think that I'm just picking on the CGI Werewolves, I'm not- this Blue Screen shot is awful too.

Next time, I loop back to Full Moon.  See what the next Film in the Filmonsters Series!  Stay tuned...

'80s Fun: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

 Any Horror Fans not aware of this Film?  Any Non-Horror Fans fail to hear about this one by now?  This is An American Werewolf in London, a 1981 Film that was a game-changer for the Genre.  It was the first Film to win an Academy Award for Make-Up Design (a category made that Year).  Since I've already covered The 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (which was given an Honorary Oscar for Make-Up), I've got that bit of Film History covered now.  If you don't know the Film, I'll summarize it for you well enough.  The Film really affected Pop Culture History- going so far as to affect future works too.  This Film got John Landis the gig doing the famous 'Thriller' Video.  I should really watch that 'Making of Thriller' VHS I bought, shouldn't I?  Here's what you want to know- will I be the guy to tell you that this is a bad Movie?  Will I risk my life?  To find out, read on...

A pair of (apparently-Jewish) Students are backpacking across Europe.  

On the way to Italy, they go through the mossy hills near London.
They don't make friends with the Locals.

Despite the warnings, they don't stay on the Road and run afoul of a freaky creature!

Only one survives and he begins to experience weird symptoms from his wounds, including strange dreams and freak-outs.

Is this padding or foreshadowing?

Our Hero's dead friend keeps showing up, in spite of, you know, being dead.

He explains that his soul can't rest until the Werewolf dies.
I like this little wrinkle and I sure hope that they won't overdo it in the Sequel.

Eventually, he's let loose from the Hospital and ends up staying with his favorite Nurse.

He's left alone while she's at work and he does what all guys do when left alone- grow lots of hair.

Give them that Oscar!

He goes out on the prowl and gives us plenty of Poor Bastards of Cinema.  Dare I?

The most famous- this guy who is apparently THE ONLY ONE in the Subway/Underground.

It is a bad and good Ad for it, I guess.

Things get worse for our Hero as he knows what he has become and can do nothing to stop it.

On the plus side, the Nazi Werewolves are just a dream sequence...for now.

Will he be able to stop himself from killing more people on the next Full Moon?  Will these Films ever get that Full Moons happen once a Month?

Nope.  They're dead.
He's dead.

The *abrupt* End.

A classic- plain and simple.  I will say that the Film is definitely all over the place.  In one Scene, you have some slapstick.  In another Scene, you have people being killed.  In all of the build-up, you get lots of spurts of Horror- like the infamous Nazi Werewolves- intermixed with the humor.  Looking it all of these years later, you know what to expect.  I would be curious to see how it felt watching it brand new when it came out.  Was the mix of Horror and Comedy distracting or engaging?  I'll never know.  I will say that the Make-Up work is still top-notch.  It earned that Oscar- no question!  As an avid Horror Film Fan, I know to look for the little cheats- like when he turns over to allow them to swap out his real legs for fake ones- but it doesn't make them any less impressive.  With its reputation, I was expecting to see more of the beast.  I think that may just be a credit to the Film- people remember seeing more than they actually did.  As we'll see later, you can show it too much if things don't get done right.  The question I will try to answer later is this- is this the best Werewolf Film of 1981?  It is a tough decision!  If you like Comedy with your Horror and can accept a longer build-up, this will delight.  It still stands up after all of these years, even if you can see things from a different angle...

Next time, I look at the 'Sequel' that disappointed people back in 1997.  Will I be the one to tell you otherwise?  Stay tuned...

Moon Over Miami: The Werewolf Reborn!

 Ah, Full Moon- how I have missed you?  Wait- that's a typo.  Ah, Full Moon- how have I missed you?  This is 1998's The Werewolf Reborn!, a Full Moon Film that was part of an aborted Series.  As I've covered *long* ago, there was a transition period of the company around this time.  They'd made like 6 Puppet Master Films and wanted to do more new, different stuff.  As part of that attempt, they came up with a simple premise- let's do Remakes of the Classic Universal Monster Movies.  What a bold, daring concept only done by everyone else (but most famously Hammer Pictures)!  This is what would seemingly-lead them to do 'Ethnic Horror Films' like The Vault and Killjoy too.  Back on these Films, they formed a Series called Filmonsters to contain all of them.  The first one was this Film.  It's like the old Werewolf Films but, you know, reborn for a new audience.  There's not too many notable names here- as it seems to have the Budget matching the Catering one for Endgame- but you do get notable Character/Voice Actor Robin-Atkin Downes as the Creature.  To find out why this didn't exactly set the World on fire, read on...

A young girl is stuck in what is clearly Romania (or someplace close) with her Uncle while her Parents are 'at a Conference.'

'Sorry, dear- we have to work.  Take a train out to the middle of nowhere to stay at your estranged Uncle's Castle for a week.  Bye!'

The Film is just over 40 minutes (around 45), so bear that in mind when I summarize the next parts...

'I'm here to stay.' - Girl

'You can't stay.' - Uncle

'I guess I'll stay at the Train Station.' - Girl

'No, you can stay in the Village with me' - Policeman

'No, you must stay with me!'- Uncle

That night, of course, it is a Full Moon (of course it is!) and he transforms....

His Werewolf attacks some Hunters in the Woods- like in the Original Wolfman- and returns home wounded.

Is this better or worse than the later Howling Films?  You decide!

He returns home just in time to transform back into his human self and heal from the bullet wounds.

His Niece asks him what happened.  He proceeds to then share a flashback where a Werewolf- with the exact same suit FYI- attacked him at home and he killed it.

Of course, he got bit in the process. 

The Police show up right as he's done and lock him up.

They don't believe that he's a Werewolf- just a killer.

Naturally, the next night is ALSO a Full Moon and he transforms again.

Tragically, he's struck down by a sad relative- also like in Wolfman- and...that's it.

Oh and she gets a whole lecture/exposition dump from the Police Captain- who is Uncle Leo from Seinfeld.

I was hoping for a twist where he was a Werewolf or something...but he clearly doesn't have enough hair for that.  The End.

Shorter Film- shorter Review.  This one is alright. I just take a big issue with the premise behind the Series as a whole.  What was its point?  To update the Films for a new (now old) audience.  How was it updated?  Um, it kind of wasn't.  Yes, there's a Teen Girl as the Lead, but...that's it.  Everything else is stock Werewolf stuff.  They didn't modernize the Story or the Setting or anything.  It is practically just a cheaper, smaller Remake with little added.  It's not so much Reborn as it is regurgitated.  I'm not saying that it's even bad- it's just alright and forgettable.  I was hoping for something unique.  I didn't get it.  Hell, the whole 'Reborn' thing isn't even unique.  In 2005, The Asylum did their own Frankenstein Film and called it, you guessed it, Frankenstein Reborn.  That lazy trend even continues to this day as we get pretty blatant knock-offs like this recent Film (and its How Did You Not Get Sued?!? Poster)…

Next time, I go from a mostly-forgotten Werewolf Film to the most famous in modern history.  I love transitions!  Stay tuned...