'80s Trash?: The Terror Within (1989)

 1989 was a pretty weird year for Horror based on this small sample size.  This is The Terror Within, a Sci-Fi Horror Film produced by Roger Corman's Studio.  I often wonder how much input he had on the individual Films.  Was he just signing the checks for most of them or was he an 'on-set visit' kind of guy.  With that out of the way, let's ask the obvious question- So this is just Alien right?  Kind of, yeah.  This has less of the usual aspects that the Alien-wannabes have though, to be fair.  It is not in Space.  It is not *technically* an Alien Invader.  It also not the far future either.  So why is this an Alien-wannabe?  Let's go through the list, shall we?  People are trapped in a space with a creature.  Said creature's birth is *slightly* familiar.  There's also the whole impregnation thing, but I'll get into the issues involved with that later.  Like many Films from this time, they talked George Kennedy into an easy pay-day.  Aw.  In the near future (or an alternate present), a virus has wiped out humanity and made 'Gargoyles' that kill people.  Can the people in the Bunker find safety after all of this time?  What happens when they get company?  To find out, read on...

Deep in the Desert, people hide out in Bunkers trying to survive until a cure for the issues with the outside World are dealt with.

They keep in contact with other Bunkers, but also look for Survivors.  Are they the key to a return to normalcy?

Two of them go out and die off-camera.  We have to save the monster reveal for later.

They find one survivor- a woman- and she runs away.  Why does she not want to go with them?

As it turns out, she's pregnant.  She's not happy.  Why?

Well, the Gargoyle did it...at some point before the gang went outside, I guess.

She gives birth and...it's Alien.

To double-down on the unoriginality, it runs off in a manner more like It's Alive (which Alien copied a bit, to be fair).

They try to find a way to catch and/or contain the creature, but much of their stuff is smashed/torn up.

They are stuck there.

To make things worse, the creature grows to full-size very quickly and...it's freaky.

All of the money they didn't spend on locations went to this, so kudos.

Did The Suckling rip this design off or is skull-faced, flesh fiend generic?

The Film also has this weird obsession with odd perspective shots as they do dialog.  They aren't bad, but they are...odd, no?

Anyhow, they make up some weapons to stop the creature.

As you can see, it does not go well.

RIP Not Dave Coulier.

Things get worse when the first of only two Female Members of the Crew is *ahem* violated by the creature.  She gets pregnant, but there's a question of whether or not it is the Monster's or our Lead's.

It was the Monster's.  She kills herself.

Fun!

Time to play with those dials and work up an elaborate Third Act battle with the creature now.

Said finale involves a flamethrower, some hiding, man-sized air vents and a fan that slap-chops the creature away.

In the aftermath, the Survivors blow up the Bunker- good-bye years of research!- and leave...for the Sequel.

It's a fun, if unoriginal adventure.  The obvious Alien stuff aside, they make good use of what they have here.  They have a good-to-decent looking Bunker Set(s) to run around in.  They have a good-looking Monster Suit.  They have some good-to-decent Actors here to lend weight to everything.  It has just the right amount of self-seriousness to be good fun to laugh at.  It has enough good stuff that you might enjoy it on its own.  The Terror Within is not the kind of Film that was made to win Awards or be shown in Arthouse Theaters.  Like most of the New Concorde stuff, it was designed to play strongly, linger for a few weeks in Theaters and then never matter again.  Those aren't even my words- Corman himself has said it!  My big issue is one that comes up alot with Corman Films from this Era- the misogyny.  I don't mean to keep bringing that up so often, but you can't ignore it here.  The 'shocking terror' of Alien was that the Creature would put its eggs inside of MEN and it would, by all definitions of the word, impregnate them.  That ties into a deep-seated fear that *I think* most of us have.  So to reverse it like they do here takes away the 'shocking terror' of it and just makes the Monster a normal, well, rapist.  This is a common thing in Corman-funded/Produced Films of this Era such as Humanoids from the Deep (made first before this one and then remade later) and also Galaxy of Terror.  At this point, I'm not judging- I'm just also not acting like I don't see it.  Regardless, Within is a fun bit of Sci-Fi Horror that at least some people had fun on...

Next time, I might as well cover the Sequel.  As a bonus, the Lead is now the Director- yea?  Stay tuned...

Import/Export: Killer Crocodile (1989)

 As I prepare for some fun Creature Features in October as part of The Madness, I might as well stretch first.  

This is Killer Crocodile, a 1989 Film from Italy.  

Guess what it is about.  Yeah, there's no subtext here. 

It comes to us from Fabrizio De Angelis, a man known far more for Producing than Directing.  

Yes, this is working on the idea that you know him from anything.  As a Producer, he worked with Lucio Fulci on Films like Zombie, The Beyond, New York Ripper and The House by the Cemetery.  

As a Director, he did stuff like, well, Killer Crocodile.  

He's all over this Film too, as he's the Director, Producer and Co-Screenwriter (alongside Dardano Sacchetti).  Aside from being a very prolific Italian Screenwriter, Dardano has my favorite Italian name to say.  Try it- it's fun!  

So yeah, this is sort-of, kind-of Jaws, but made after all of the good Films and bad ones had come out.  It's not as flagrant as many others around this time- especially The Last Shark- but you can't ignore it.  

If you somehow don't get it from the Plot, the lovely, but familiar-sounding Riz Ortolani Soundtrack will do the trick.  I'm sure that anyone could have copied the Jaws Theme- not everyone could have done it so well though.  

The other named to note is Richard (Anthony) Crenna. 
Yes, it is the guy from Rambo...'s son.  

Can he kill the creature?  To find out, read on...

In a Cold Open, the titular creature kills some people.

Well, this is what we're getting for the next 90 minutes, so strap in...

Our Heroes are a group of Environmentalists who are studying pollution on the River.

Naturally, the Mayor doesn't support them.  Do they ever in Jaws-style Films?
Oh and he's clearly the bad guy.

Reports of the Crocodile are ignored as none of its attacks leave a living witness.

That changes...

The conflict goes from external to internal as the Environmentalists must balance their desire to save and study this rare creature- grown large due to toxic waste- with their desire to see it stop killing people.

The Mayor, meanwhile, hires Not Quint to kill the beast...and also keeps letting the other guys dump their waste.

The Crocodile isn't shy in this one, so I guess Bruce just wasn't as committed to being in the shot as Brix.

Our Heroes have to get over their desire not to kill the beast.  This is aided by it killing a couple of their friends and wrecking their boats.

They team up with Not Quint to take out the beast.

As for the bad guys, they go out to dump- wait for it- one last bit of waste.

They die.

Crenna has to become the Hero of this story due to two reasons:

1) The Film's refusal to let 'the girls' be a part of the action.  They get sidelined- twice!

2) Not Quint's curious plan to ride on the Crocodile's back and stab it as it submerges.

Shockingly, he's not dead!

He pops back up for the finale as Crenna and his pal confront the creature one last time.
So, he's actually Not Hooper?

Not Quint throws his hat to Crenna (see above) and he does the only logical thing- throw the boat's propeller into its mouth.

It explodes and kills the creature...but a spawn remains.  

See you in the Sequel!

A Film with no surprises, but is that so wrong?  

Killer Crocodile is a cheesy, but otherwise well-made Film that clearly was inspired by Jaws. 
Have I made that point 1,000 times yet?  It is obvious, but it is true.  

The Film was shot in a Foreign Country- not Italy, which is also Foreign- and that gives it a nice atmosphere.  It is also not The Philippines, so you-know-who isn't here.  

To the Film's credit, the monster does look good and it shows up just enough to not look too fake.  The worst you can say is that the eyes look *a little* too unreal, but it is a Crocodile.  

This one seems to have the desire to kill specific people, as opposed to dealing with its natural prey.  

I guess maybe that throwaway line about 'not seeing any birds' is supposed to imply that it already ate its way through it.  

Of course, if the toxic waste made it grow, why not something else?  Is it too much to ask to have Giant Monkeys fighting a Giant Crocodile?!?  

My biggest issue with the Film is really how they treat the Female Characters.  They basically get to hang out, be scared in the background and then get left behind.  

Imagine if Ripley was told that she was 'too scared' or 'had been through enough' at the halfway point of Alien?  It's so...odd and just plain silly.  Our Heroes aren't exactly expert Trackers, Hunters or Killers, so what can the women not do that they can?  Something something different time- whatever.  

Pointless misogyny aside, Crocodile is a fun B-Movie that will distract you from all of the awful 2020 things, so watch the Film or enjoy the sweet vinyl...

Next time, we stick with the same Year, but return stateside.  It's a New Concorde Film that was 'inspired' by Alien- how unique.  Stay tuned...

Buy or Cel: The X-Men vs. Apocalypse (Part 1)

 As I'm still in an X-Men mood, let's look at a more general comparison.

Let's see how the '90s Animated Show handled Apocalypse versus the recent live-action Film...

So this one is a less direct one.  Apocalypse appears in Season 1 for 2 Episodes and then pops up intermittently throughout the main run...until Season 4.

In contrast, Fox used Apocalypse as the Villain for the 3rd Film in the Revival Series (which is not quite a Reboot, but not quite a Sequel to the Original Trilogy).

Which one did it best?

In the titular Film, the big blue guy is awakened, forms his 4 Horsemen and then tries to use everyone's nukes to destroy them.

Hey, remember when X-Men: First Class was all about Nuclear Weapons being unleashed?
Also...this guy isn't scary.  At all.

For comparison, we see the culmination of Apocalypse's big plans (and lots of dangling sub-plots and characters) in the 4-Part 'Beyond Good & Evil.'

There's alot to unpack here- and I did it here- but the gist of it is this...

He's kidnapping Psychics- including Jean Grey and random background Extras like Moondragon, Mesmero and Rachel Summers- as part of a plan to destroy Time itself.

It directly involves the X-Men, many villains like Mr. Sinister, Bishop and Cable.
It is weird!

Weird overlaps- Magneto ends up working with Apocalypse and later betraying him (when his plan turns out to be bonkers) both times.

He's promised that his Wife can be revived...in both the Show and Film.

As a bonus, Mystique also plays a part in both, although she's with Magneto in the Show and against him in the Film.

Also also Psylocke is introduced and Archangel returns/is introduced in both versions.

There's not much of a contest, is there?  The Show uses its Format to its advantage quite well.  Being deep in Season 4, they have LOTS to build upon.  For instance, Bishop is placed where he is in the Story due to him time-traveling back home *from a previous Episode.*  Yes, Time-Travel played a big role throughout the Series.  Hell, this isn't even the first one to involve Apocalypse!  By having a whole lot of build-up already done for them (by them, to be fair), they can tie the Plot to Scott & Jean's relationship, the Mr. Sinister Story Arc, Bishop's Plot, Cable's Plot, Archangel's Plot and more.  By doing so much work, they can make almost all of this pay off quite well.  In contrast, the Film did pretty much no build-up for Apocalypse here, only teasing him at the end of the last Film.  As we'll see later, you can build up Apocalypse well in subtle ways without making it all about him.  They didn't need to have him cast or anything- just build up the imminent threat for the 3rd Film.  Nope- none of that.  Speaking of wasted potential, Oscar Isaac as Apocalypse.  Is he scary?  No.  Does he look cool?  No.  Does he look like Ivan Ooze?  Yes.  He tries his best, but all of his dialog had to be done in post due to the noise that keeping his suit air-conditioned made- no joke!  On the Show, Apocalypse may look a little bit silly at times, but the late John Colicos gives a strong, vibrant performance.  He has to be one of the MVPs of this Show, no question! 

In this case, the obvious choice is Cel.  Just don't creep, fellas.

Next time, I want to give the 2016 Film a second chance.  In this case, I'll match it up with the big Apocalypse Story-Arc on the *next* X-Men Show...

Quick Reviews: Manos Returns (2018)

 It isn't called 'morbid curiosity' if it always worked out perfectly.  

In this case, I couldn't resist the 'siren's call' of a Sequel that has been 51 years in the making forever.  This is... 

A quartet of people drive around looking for their AirBNB.  They are kind of annoying.

They are stopped for no reason by the Sheriff and his Deputy.  They repeat lines from the original.

Yep, it's that kind of Movie.

After more dicking around (including somewhat-META jokes about what Movie is the worst ever), they see a conspicuous sign.

In spite of it appearing out of nowhere, they decide to follow it.

The Darwin Awards are going to you, folks.

The quartet end up at the infamous Hotel and meet Torgo.

So I get that it has been 50 years, but what is the continuity here?

Torgo was dead at the end of Manos, Debbie and Mom are 'Brides of The Master' and Dad is the new Torgo.

So I get that 'Dad' (Harold P. Warren) died in 1985, but you recast Torgo and that Actor died in 1966!

As a bonus, Warren is NOT Credited for creating the Characters, even though he wrote Manos!  Oh well, enjoy his sweater as an in-joke.

In the time since the last Film, I guess he has new Brides (one of whom is the Director) in the 51 years since the last Film (and they got new clothes).

There's also a bunch of ghosts (I guess other people who went to the Lodge and died?) and more padding.

FYI the Film is 68 minutes long.

It is notable that the Film features a few Actors from the original, even if their importance is mixed.

Debbie is now the evil Caretaker, The Master is just a ghost (or something) and the Mom is still around, although not one of the Brides anymore.

If you want an explanation, I don't have it.

To be fair, they were in a rush- they only had 51 years to iron out the Plot.

Can our Final Girl make an alliance with...Torgo (?!?) to save herself and her friends?

Will this Film be worth the wait?
Why does Torgo look like Mandy Patinkin?

To find out the answer, watch the Film.  It's Free on Prime (which is a relative thing, admittedly).

A Film that I didn't expect much of- which is about what I got.  No offense to those involved, but I'm not sure what kind of Film they were trying to make.  The first half of the Film features cheeky references to the original, blatant reusing of dialog and characters 'riffing' for no good reason.  Why make one joke about how bad Valley Lodge is when you can make 3 of them?  Why not make fun of Torgo as he stands 3 feet away from you?  This part is just trying to be all 'we get it- Manos is a pretty terrible Film.'  Of course, you're still copying it, hoping that it will then be funny The Room-style.  Meh.  The second half of the Film then becomes a serious one involving the ghosts, never-interacting-with-anyone Master and the Wives.  So I get that fate played a big role in that 2nd part and I don't mean to make light of the man's death.  Just like how Val Kilmer- who, to be clear, is not dead- was used in The Snowman though, the way they try to cover up the obvious issues is not good.  Sadly, it feels like the kind of stuff that was done with John Carradine in later Films or how they used Stock Footage Tura Sultana in one of the Astro Zombies Films after she had died.  These are not good comparisons.  I get why you wanted to use him and I get wanting to have him be a part of this- not even getting into the family element- see below-, but I just think it wasn't handled great.  Given how time is nebulous, use him for flashbacks to explain the unexplained parts- why Debbie is in charge, where Dad is and how Torgo is still alive(ish)- better.  Oh well.  The Low Budget hurts the Film alot as the level of menace they try to create is undercut a bit by how 'meh' things look.  I don't want to be negative- they tried here.  The goal was to make a love letter to and better Film than Manos: The Hands of Fate.  They succeeded (almost too well) at the first part, but I hesitate to say that they did with the latter.  As bad as Manos is, it is still memorable.  This one...I mean, I guess we'll see in 49 years.

To close on a nicer note, RIP Tom Neyman.

If we're being 100% honest, the Film is not that good.  They try too hard at first to be self-referential and then don't know what to do when things start to actually matter.  Oh well.

New Streaming: The Umbrella Academy- Season 2

 Another Season 2, only this one I'm covering all at once.

I mean, it is Netflix- that's just how it works.

What kind of craziness will we get this Season?  Let's see...

After narrowly-escaping an Apocalypse in 2019 (oh, the good old days), The Umbrella Academy end up separated.

Number 5 sees an imminent event in the near future- another Apocalypse.

It's like Pringles- once you pop, you just can't stop!

They all end up in Dallas...but not at the same time.

Their truncated arrivals lead them on their own separate adventures in the Past.

Klaus does pretty well for himself...

While they try to live new lives on their own, the Members are being targeted by a new threat- a trio of angry Swedes!

Even if the group can get back together, can they work out their issues in time to save the World (again)?

Can Vanya find a new place for herself in 1963 Dallas or will her powers be too dangerous yet again?

No matter what happens, they will at least stop to have some fun and dance!

To see how the crazy Season pans out, stream it now.

It is another fun, crazy Season of Streaming Television.  The whole premise of this thing is weird.  They are a bunch of people born as part of some strange, cosmic even that have powers.  Why?  It hasn't been explained.  Who's behind it?  Dunno.  What is their purpose?  Who knows?  None of that really matters- at least not now.  It may be explained in later Seasons.  In the meantime, we get more fun, crazy adventures from the eclectic 'heroes.'  I've seen some complaints that Season 2 is too similar to Season 1.  Let's diagram that, shall we?  The Academy Members are pulled together by Five, who warns them of an apocalypse that is imminent that they must solve.  As it turns out, Vanya is- at least partly- responsible for alot of it.  Hmm...that does describe both Seasons.  That said, there is an evolution and improvement for all of the Characters.  There may be a formula that they stick *a bit* too close to for this go-around.  Season 2 for most Netflix Shows seems to be an issue in this regard.  If and when Season 3 happens, we'll see how much things change.  In the meantime, appreciate how weird they can be on a TV Show Budget...even if that means excluding stuff from the Comic that people were hoping for...

A fun time, but also full of some poignant moments.  It is a familiar adventure- is that always so bad?

New Streaming: The Boys- Season 2, Episodes 1 & 2

 Yes, the first 3 Episodes all came out at once.
No, I didn't watch all 3.

I like to make Shows last.

If I can wait, so can you...

To give a basic recap, here's what you need to know...

The Seven is a big-name group of Superheroes that are also Celebrities.  They get themselves 'in bed' with the Military.

The titular Group is a bunch of non-powered Humans who try to make them pay for their sins.  They manage to kill one so far.

They get exposed to the Public and blamed for the death of a high profile person behind the company that funds The Seven.

Hughie is trying to keep the group together with Butcher on the loose.  Can his relationship with Starlight (also in The Seven) get them what they need?

Conflict in The Seven is increased as a new Member joins- Stormfront.

Will she ruin the already-strained dynamic?

Homefront- aka 4Chan Superman- is struggling to keep control, even as the new Boss (replacing the one he had a hand, or eye beam, in killing- doesn't scare easily.

It won't end well anyone else in his orbit.

When The Boys get Butcher back, will he be enough to get them back on the right track?

I mean, a sudden, expected death would mess your group up too.

Can Starlight get access to the information she needs or will another member of The Seven stop her?

We're only just getting started, so no SPOILERS.

A dark, interesting and intense pair of Episodes.  After the 1st Season, the question was obvious- could they keep it up.  So far, the answer is a loud HELL YES.  The Story intensifies, the tensions grow and the body count sure doesn't shrink!  The first Season left alot of people in a bad place and things don't exactly get back to normal right away.  The Boys have lost all but one advantage- no SPOILER- and have to make the most of it.  The Seven has gained Stormfront to replace Translucent, which is definitely an upgrade.  She's a great new addition in terms of both her characterization and her power-set.  She's in true DGAF Mode here, which flies in the face of Vought's style.  Homelander and company are going to have trouble keeping her in line.  From what I've read, this definitely comes to a head soon, so I'm looking forward to that.  Homelander continues to be a strong selling point.  He manages to be Evil Superman without the mustache-twirling or emo-serial-killer vibe that tends to attach itself to this kind of character.  He's not alone, as other characters show more depth directly or indirectly.  The mystery about Black Noir, for instance, is curious and the B-Plot (or C-Plot) with The Deep is curious.  The Guest Voice they brought in- nice!  The Boys is a dark, violent Show with enough depth to be more than just 'LOL they curse and kill people.'  It manages to make you care about Characters and then pulls the rug out from you.  This face...this face is one you'll find yourself making at least once per Episode.

I'll keep up a general, non-SPOILERy look at the Show.  I do love easy ways to get hits.