Comic Review: Super-Powered Revenge Christmas

Tis the Season for firsts!  As part of going to see Rifftrax Live!: Santa Claus, I got a free PDF Copy of a Comic Written by Bill Corbett aka Crow v2.0.  He used Kickstarter to fund a Christmas Comic and now he's selling it.

Let's check it out!

The Book tells the Tale of the Red Avenger.  He's the Santa for the Comic Book Medium, so he's much different.

The Book's Plot involves a Meta Story about a couple pitching their Comic Book idea to people in a Bar, but more personal issues may also be at stake.

As the much-different versions of Characters like Scrooge, The Grinch and Frosty do battle, will their personal life be the real loser?

The Comic is quite good, giving you a mix of realism and the absurd.  You get real people talking about their problems and...a muscular, humanoid Rudolph fighting Robots.  It is definitely an odd mix, but I am all about the odd.  It works because both of them feel real (as real as a Story within a Story can be).  The Writer is very serious about his takes on the Characters, so you don't feel like it is just a joke idea.  He believes that it makes sense, so it does.  The Plot involving him and the people in the Bar has nice touches of realism as well.  This accentuates the craziness in the same way that the craziness makes the realism seem stronger as well.  That make sense?  What starts out as a one-joke idea (Christmas ideas strained through Comic Book ideals) grows stronger throughout.  Stuff like this either works or it doesn't.  Credit goes to the Writer and Artist then for making this one work.  It is a neat little tale and you shouldn't definitely check it out.

Christmas is the Christmas-iest time of the year, so enjoy with something new and different.

Indy Flix: Morbid (2014)

A low-budget Horror Flick that is good...but not all there.  Today's Film is Morbid, a Film given to me via an associate on Facebook.  He's in the midst of trying to get his Film some Distribution, so let's see if I can help.  Morbid is the tale of a masked Killer taking out people in a small, rural Town.  Why?  What does he have to gain?  What is his goal?  That's...not easy to say, as this one is not exactly full of answers.  While it lacks a bit in Story, does it deliver everywhere else?  To find out, read on...

In the Intro, these two guys discuss Horror Films.  Naturally, they talk about Halloween and Black Christmas- thus making this one time-appropriate.

As one of them goes to take a Shower, someone appears to be watching.

He doesn't look friendly.  On the plus side, he does give us a gender-swapped 'Shower Scene,' so that's interesting.

This leads to the killer going on a killing spree.

He's so evil that he even kills the Film's Director!  You monster!

I know that it might seem mean to pick on a low-budget Horror Film for being low-budget, but...I mean, really?!?  This...is something else.

So the main crux of the Story is people going to and/or preparing for a Party held by the Star Quarterback (seen on the right).  He's kind of an asshole.

He's kind of a big asshole, actually.

Who will live?  Who will die?  Will the Killer be stopped?  Will he stop littering?

To find out, watch the Movie (whenever it gets officially-released).

It's not bad really...but it just doesn't feel like a complete movie.  It has a beginning and it has an Ending- granted.  It has Characters, Scenarios and Settings too.  My problem is honestly that this feels more like an extended series of kills than a Film.  It works as a really good Demo Reel for the people behind it though.  They give you many kills with a variety of weapons.  You see a variety of ways to dispose of people.  You get some good, low-budget gore as well.  So if the point was to show what they could do as far as kills go, they succeeded.  If the goal was to make a Slasher Film that would blow you away, they only partially-succeeded.  I liked the mysterious Killer and his costume design.  The Mask- a variation of the one used in Nightbreed- is nice.  The whole 'silent killer' thing is done alot, but it isn't bad here at all.  I won't SPOIL his one unique trait that shows up in the Finale, but it sure is...something.  So as far as Low-Budget Horror goes, this is good.  If there was more of a Story, more consistent Characters and a more contiguous Narrative, I'd rate it even higher.  Not bad at all, just lacking a few things to work on in the future.  As I noted to the Director on Facebook, he got a point on the Low-Budget Horror Film Bingo Card early with people watching Night of the Living Dead on TV...

Up next, a special bonus for all of you out there.  I celebrate Christmas early with a bonus Review...from Project Terrible!  Stay tuned...

Quick Reviews: Dreams in the Witch House (Masters of Horror)

You know that old expression 'One Stuart Gordon Film deserves another?'  Of course you do!

To be honest with you, I've had this one for a while, but never saw it.  No good reason.  It is even on the same Disc as Cigarette Burns!

Oh well, doing it now!

In this Tale, a young man goes to a cheap Building to live in while he works on his Grad School Thesis.  The subject: Dimensional Planes.

It isn't long before he starts to notice some weird things.  There are the rats, the freaky neighbors and the fact that the corner of his room appears to be the same shape as 3 Dimensional Planes intersecting to form a Portal.

In spite of that, he makes friends with the lady next door and her young baby.  Will this Miskatonic University Student manage to get some on the side?

Unfortunately, his titular Dreams are a bit freaky.  They include a Witch that goes from Hot to No F#$%ing Way in seconds and this Rat with a face on it.

It appears that someone or something has plans for our hero as they keep visiting him, which always come from that corner and accompanied by some purple light.

When he finds out what they are (which I won't SPOIL), he makes this face (as you would too).

Will he fall to darkness or escape into the light?  I won't say.

As a bonus, here's the OG Version of the Necronomicon.  Is that in Fiction or Non-Fiction?  The End.

Easily one of the better Lovecraft adaptations.  The Story is great, giving you quiet moments and shocking moments.  It is a bit bloody, but...well, it is Lovecraft.  Alot of his stuff is about madness and despair (as this one is too), but there's no making these things PG as far as blood goes.  You don't get a whole lot of gore, so it has a bigger meaning when it appears.  The Acting is quite good too, making you feel for all those involved.  Gordon re-uses his lead from Dagon, which was a good choice.  You really see his ups and downs- especially downs!- and understand how he feels about what is happening.  He ends up in a terrible situation and goes from denial to acceptance.  What the Film does especially well is use their effects wisely, making the low-budget nature of it (and all Masters of Horror 'Films') not noticeable. The make-up work is as great as you'd expect from Greg Nicotero and his people.  All in all, this is a dark and moody Tale that is quite good.  It even gives you a splash of Nudity...although I won't.

A dark and eerie tale for sure.  For me, it just shows again how to do Lovecraft right (and on the cheap)!

Zoned Out: The Star

As we near Christmas, let's continue to look at how they celebrated the Holidays in 1985 while in...

In this tale, we see some space travelers finding a burned out Planet.  However, the secret behind this Planet is...festive?

Before we begin, it is important to note the person behind the genesis of this Story.

So, anyways, these guys are leading a ship through the Galaxy.  As they approach a burned out Planet, they discuss...Religion?  Weird.

They go to a bunker beneath the Planet's surface and investigate what is inside.

They find evidence of a great and advanced Civilization.  They had mastered Science and the Arts, making their disappearance pretty sad.

After a while, the two men return to the Ship.  One of them seems sad after looking at the readings on the Ship.  Why?

As it turns out, the Star that destroyed the Planet's surface when it burned out was...the Star that the 3 Wise Men followed.

They discuss how good things can come from bad circumstances and how all things work out.  Merry Space-mas.  The End.

Tis the Season?  This one isn't bad, but it is...odd.  I guess I can't talk bad about an Arthur C. Clarke Story, can I?  It is an interesting premise- granted.  Mixing pure Science-Fiction and the tale of Jesus' birth is also kind of interesting.  Ultimately though, it was just...alright.  The Acting is fine.  The Effects are fine.  The Message isn't even bad either.  There's just something off here that I can't put my finger on.  Stuck between the two upbeat Christmas Segments in the Episode, this feels really weird.  It comes off as something that thinks it is super deep, but isn't so much.  Something was just lost in the execution, I think.  On the plus side, you can still enjoy the simple things during the Holidays: making jokes about funny names in Credits...

Next week, the final part of the 1985 Christmas Episode.  Will this Remake of a Classic Zone Tale prove that this Show is good now?

Immediate Response: The Hobbit- The Battle of the 5 Armies

My Friday night was free and someone wanted to go see a movie.  It was this or 'Batman as Moses' so I choose this...

I know that some people are going to be critical of my take on the Film after what I've said about the previous Films.  That's fine.

Let's see what happens...

The Good

* The Film delivers on big moments of Action.  Our packed house had no complaints.
* Alot of great names are in this Film, including new people like Billy Connolly.
* As the closer for another Series (as it were), it gives you plenty of finality and closure.
* There are no bad performances here.  The big moments are done as well as the little moments.
* For the most part, the CG effects are good and unique.

Alright, now we get to the rest...

The Bad

* I'm sorry, but Peter Jackson needs another Editor.  Some Scenes run too long, while others don't need to be there.
* For a Story that in total runs over 8 Hours, do we need a Flashback and a Dream Sequence?
* As some have said before, the Film does all of this build-up to...the guy we already knew.  What they give us is not inherently bad- it's just unnecessary.
* For a Film Trilogy that is too long, the goofy Side Character is not necessary.  Speaking of which, where the hell is the closure to the Plot of The Mayor of Laketown?
* Legolas...is just ridiculous here.  There is a line set by the original Trilogy of how crazy things can get...and he just back-flips over it.  I won't SPOIL them, but know that he is officially Spider-Man.

Here's the thing: I can pick this thing apart for little things if I wanted to.  Here's a quick one: Bilbo is Writing his Biography in the first Film, but ends this Film staring at the Ring with no Biography in sight.  Did he finish some time that we didn't see?  Oh and I guess he knew about the parts where only Gandalf was, because...reasons.

Ultimately though, this was not a bad Film.  None of them really were.  I watch alot of shit and this isn't.

For me, the whole thing is just too long and doesn't feel as necessary since we get the main Story already (years ago).  If you're a fan of the Films, this shouldn't disappoint.  If you 'just don't get it,' this won't do much to change your minds.

Was I too mean?  Leave a Comment if you think so (or just feel like it).

Poor Bastards of Cinema: It's Alive (1973) {Part 2}

Another Poor Bastard from this Film about a killer baby with teeth and claws (the good one).

In the beginning, the parents-to-be leave their son with their friendly neighbor.  After all, it can take over 24 hours to deliver the baby at times.

When things go awry (you know, the Doctors being killed and the mutant baby getting free), they decide to shelter their son in the short-term from this.

Their friendly neighbor has no problem with this.  He goes the extra mile for them.

Eventually, they return to Town (he took the kid out to his Cabin for a few days) and the son can't stand waiting.  He runs home, followed by the neighbor.

They both enter through the Basement (for some reason), but only he is attacked by the baby monster!

The dad finds his friend dead and...well, that sucks.

So, to sum up, this guy goes out of his way to help his fellow Neighbor.  His reward: being killed by their kid.

The lesson: don't help people who live near you.  It never ends well.

Until next time, keep being random people that may or may not die in Horror Films.

Rare TV Anthology Flix: Quicksilver Highway

Is it at least better than Generation X?  

Today's Film is Quicksilver Highway, a Made-for-TV Film from 1997.  It sure feels like a Backdoor Pilot, but I can't find any proof of that.  

This Film is a compilation of a Stephen King tale and a Clive Barker one.  

After so many Films, were there any good tales from either left at this point?  Well, yes and no.  

In one Story, a man learns that an impromptu gift can be more important than you realize.  

In the second Story, a man learns that a hand is a terrible thing to waste.  

Wrapping both tales up is Christopher Lloyd, dressed up in a mix of his make-up from The Addams Family (sans the fat suit) and Annie.  Topical!  

The way it plays out is a bit odd, but I'll get to that shortly.  

Is this an overlooked gem or something that shouldn't have made its way out of the '90s?  To find out, read on...

In the opening, a man and his new Bride are stranded on the Highway.  He goes for help, while she stays behind...and gets company.

He offers to tell her a Tale while they wait for the man to return...

In this King tale, a man stops on a long drive home.  

He is given a pair of chattering teeth with feet from a roadside Store as a gift for his son's birthday that night.

He picks up a Hitchhiker on the way back, but things turn badly.  The van ends up flipping and he is trapped with the armed man.

Surprisingly, the teeth come to his aid, killing the man and dragging him away.  A year later, he returns to the Store and regains them.

As the Story ends, a noise is heard outside.  A man has hit a person walking down the road: the new husband.

He ends up being dragged away by the teeth as the segment ends.

Once that is over, we get the commercial fade (can't remove that for DVD?), we get the 2nd Story- now with Matt Frewer.  

He's a petty thief hiding out from the Cops, so he gets a Story.

See why I think this was a Pilot?  We get one Story, it ends and a second unrelated Story begins. It feels like 2 Episodes glued together.

In this Clive Barker tale, a man finds that his hands seem to be acting up.  

They lead him to act odd in Surgery (with Cameos by John Landis and Barker) and even kill his wife when he gets home!

As it turns out, there is a revolution brewing with...our hands.  This is serious, huh?

You did write Book of Blood, right?  I'm just curious.  The hands stop...for now.

After the tale, Frewer leaves and his hands push him towards a Cop, who arrests him.  

The End.

I'm a bit confused by this one.  I don't necessarily mind Horror Films/Stories that are light-hearted, but this might go a bit too far.  

The Stories are just plain silly!  

I guess I'm not used to these sorts of Anthologies *only* having the light-hearted tales.  

It is usually Scary Story, Weird Story, Scary Story (or something like that).  I'm also not used to one of these only having two Stories.  That's odd to more than just me, right?  

The way the Stories are introduced is a bit odd too.  The Framing Device is just Lloyd talking to two different people at two different times and places altogether.  These are usually 'People in a Room Telling Stories' or 'Stories Being Shown to Someone.'  

As I said before, this feels like 2 Episodes of a Show (proposed or otherwise) slapped together.  Imagine two Tales from the Crypt Episodes slapped together to fill 90 minutes and you have how these feel.  The Performances are good all around, so I have no complaints there.  

The idea that the Characters in the Stories are someone from the Framing Device is a nice conceit.  The person is being told a Story, so they self-identify (or picture their Spouse, like in the first one).  

Honestly, I think that this might have worked with a more cohesive Narrative and a third Tale.  It would have provided a bridge (hopefully) and made things feel more balanced. 

As it is, Quicksilver Highway is not bad, but it is not great.  Hey look- Hand Squirrels!

Next up, I handle a Film made by someone I know through the Blogging Circles.  Is it Morbid to like the movie or not?  Stay tuned...

VHS For the Win: Fireback

I don't care if I ever see this Film, because the original Box Art is just...

Well, it is just so damn manly!

See for yourself...

How the hell does that gun work?  What the hell does it fire?  How much would that thing weigh?

You know what- screw all that!  I just want to see that thing in real-life!

Can you imagine the look on the face of those ISIS/ISIL guys if we started using these things?!?

'merica.

Animation (World) Domination: War of the Worlds- Goliath

On the plus side, it is not 3 Hours long and made for like $10,000.  Is my bar that low now?  Instead of discussing the slowly-lowering curve of quality I use to judge Films, let's talk about this Film.  This is War of the Worlds: Goliath (in 3-D, for some)!  This is an Animated Film from 2012 that seeks to follow-up on the Classic tale.  I've only seen this done twice- once on TV and once by The Asylum.  Neither of them was great, but they weren't complete losses.  The former is worth noting more later, as well.  In this Film, the Earth is recuperating from the damage in the previous Invasion and have taken on a Steampunk vibe.  Why not?  When the Martians return (so we'll have a Story), can the Earth unite to take out stronger weapons with their own, all the while knowing that their previous trump card (human germs) are no longer an option?  The Cast is notable for including many Alumni from Highlander: The Series.  Kind of odd, right?  With high-definition and Animation & a unique Story, this can't fail...right?  To find out (without SPOILERS), read on...

The Martians are back and they are not coming in peace!

The World has formed a tentative alliance to combat the threat and made new robot-walker things called Goliaths to battle them.  The silly hats help too.

The Secretary of War- Teddy Roosevelt (voiced by Jim Byrnes) - is helping to keep the alliance together and pushing for victory!

The core of the attack force (not to be confused with the Seagal Film) is these five guys.  Voice Actors of the group include Adrian Paul (doing an Irish accent) and Peter Wingfield.

Furthering the Highlander connections, the people behind this Film all worked on Highlander: The Search for Vengeance (also with Jim Byrnes).

Our Lead has a problem though: he's still traumatized by the death of his Parents in the initial Invasion.  Well, at least for one Scene he is.

The only way to fight fire is with fire (or water)!  They use technology based on the remnants left in the original Invasion (like Heat Rays) to even the odds.

Will their awkward tank-walker things be enough to save the Earth?

Or will the Martians succeed on their second try (now with Purell)?  To find out, watch the Movie.  The End.

It is not bad, but it is not great either.  The Film's strength is in the Animation.  It looks nice (if stylized) and moves well.  I'm not a huge fan of the kind-of-Anime, kind-of-not Style here though.  It is still nice enough and sure to please anyone interested in it.  The problem is the Story.  The Characters are alright, but nothing more.  The overall Story is just nothing special.  There are good moments, but there are also silly one.  Case in point: a man comes in and says that Archduke Franz Ferdinand has been assassinated and the World will now go to War (with each other).  However, our Hero just makes an impassioned Speech and everyone decides to not leave and fight.  Wow, that was easy!  If you're looking for any real depth, it is not here.  If you just want some light, vibrant Animation, this will serve your purpose.  This is just kind of shallow- that's all.  It's alright.  Nothing more.It does, however, serve as Adrian Paul's return to a War of the Worlds project after 20 years!

Next up, a rare Horror Film that was made for TV.  Can Doc Brown spin two obscure Tales into a winning Film?  Stay tuned...