Public Domain Cinema: The Bat (1959)

Will this Shadow be a big one or mostly-just ignore?  Today's film is The Bat, more specifically the 1959 version starring Vincent Price.  It has been one I've considered doing for a long time, but now I will.  Well, I do already own it on DVD, after all.  I should eventually cover the 1926 and 1931 versions as well in the future, but there's no Price in them.  The film is one about mystery, murder and a million dollars.  That's alot of money now, but even more when you adjust for inflation.  Any of you good at Math could tell me how much that's exactly worth, but I can tell you that it is worth alot!  As such, murder will happen and continue to happen until someone finds it.  That is where The Bat comes in.  He's a stone-cold killer!  Now that Bill Finger (and some other guy) had created Batman some 16 years earlier, will this film version resemble the character that may have partially-inspired him?  All I know is that this version has Vincent Price, so it is off to a good start.  To see if it stalls or follows through, read on...

I know that this is not the film's fault, but, well, just look at what MY version of the Film looks like.  This is ominous foreshadowing if I ever saw it!

I can, however, fault them for using this cheap model.  I guess real Mansions didn't exist in 1959.

Seriously, don't rich people love to show off their Mansions?  Just say 'We'll put your house in movie' and you're set!

Anyhow, this Bank Manager explains to his Doctor (Price) that he stole (Dr. Evil fingers) $1 million and is willing to split it if he helps him fake his death.

Loving irony, Price promptly shoots him for real and burns the body to cover the evidence.

So begins the search of the man's house for the hidden money.  The Bat is working his way around the Estate, but has some trouble since people are living there right now.

I should note that some killings apparently happened off-screen between Scenes and The Bat is now a famous killer.  The Police Inspector- who's name is not important- is investigating all suspects, including Price...who is working to extract toxins from bats.

People continue to linger about the Estate and just plain get in the way.  Looks like The Bat is going to have to kill somebody (on-screen for once).

He is definitely not Batman now!

After alot of old-school dicking around (slow walking, phone lines cut, etc), the mystery comes down to this: which of these men is The Bat?

Considering that The Bat kills Price ten minutes before the climax, it is obviously The Inspector.

Naturally, it is the guy that NONE of the obvious clues led to.  That makes sense.

As the film wraps up, the lead Lady decides to address the audience directly.  It is worth noting that was based on a Play after all.

Clever nod or lazy recycling of the Ending- you decide!  The End.

This one is a bit creaky, just like the floorboards.  The basic Story elements- the mysterious killer, the missing fortune, the house full of potential victims- are all there.  It is easy to see why the Story works as a Play and was a hit as one.  As a film, it is alternately stretched too thin- implying multiple locations that it doesn't show- and pressed too tight- the same rooms used over and over again.  It is a weird thing for sure.  For example, Price has a few scenes at his own Lab, which feels odd in context to the 'Stuck at the Mansion' story of the rest of the film.  Later, they imply that he had a car accident off-camera.  To be fair, the way that scene plays out is part of the 'Who is The Bat' mystery later, so I can give that a pass.  The film tries to walk the awkward line between having the story feel like a claustrophobic play and being a full film.  In that regard, it is not exactly a success.  That said, I had no issues with the Acting and the old-timey story is presented well visually.  Fans of Old-School Cinema and writing will love it.  As for the rest of you, it doesn't hold up to the same scrutiny, feeling a bit older than it even is.  I can't imagine that the two groups will see eye-to-eye on this one...

Next up, a young couple meets Darth Vader on a Greek Island.  Considering the same guy who Wrote this made Island of Death, it won't be a fun trip.

Mondo Bizarro Reviews Anime: Sekirei- Pure Engagement

It has been awhile since I *willingly* did an Anime Review.  What could bring me back?

Boobs.

To be more accurate, it is the 2nd Season of Sekirei...

Yes, the show about a schmuck in charge of up to 6 super-powered mutant ladies with giant boobs.  Well, all but the little girl...who is still around.  Here is an actual recap:

* A bunch of ladies with powers (Sekireis) are released in Tokyo to meet  their 'Masters' (Ashikabis).
* They are set against each other to whittle the numbers down.
* One asshole in charge of MBI is behind it and...he's a bit insane.
* Our hero- Minato- has four at the start of the Season, but eventually will end up with six.  Harem!

The 2nd Season has more of the same, but with more actual nudity.  Got to up the ante, I guess.

As for the actual Story, you get more fighting, more melodrama and a prolonged story about a Sekirei with a (gender) identity crisis.  I won't SPOIL the whole thing for you, as it is...odd.

Many will fight.  Many will flash their boobs.  One (you care about) will die.  I hope this doesn't SPOIL things for you.

It is also worth noting the OVA (Original Video Animation) that is supposed to take place BEFORE the start of Season 2, but stuck at the END of Season 2 on Netflix Streaming.

The point of it: Boobs.  Specifically, to make fun of this character for having small ones around 10,000 times.

On top of that, we get to see Musubi forcibly-fondle Tsukiumi (for some reason).  It truly is a The More You Know Segment.  The End.

When in doubt, just add more nudity.  That works for this Anime, but probably not for your High School Play.  If you do that, you can't legally sue me!  Sekirei is not that deep of a show.  Ladies with superpowers and giant boobs fight.  It does try to raise itself above that simple summary with lots of melodrama and attempts to make you care deeply about the Characters.  I didn't get that attached, but I could see how people could be.  The show has some odd neck-snapping turns into melodrama that just feel super-forced.  We get the full explanation of one of the Sekireis and their Ashikabi about 20 Episodes or so into the show...and then one of them dies.  They see it as so important that the regular End Credits are replaced with a montage of the characters in happier moments.  I get it!  The show actually ends (officially) with about 20 teases for future Plot Points, as well as reminding you that some Plot Points (like Minato's sister meeting up with him again) that they never bothered to close up.  Speaking of which, the whole 'Musubi gets possessed to save the day' thing from the last Season Finale is never addressed again.  Thanks for that, guys.  While there is some interesting stuff going on in this show (which hasn't had a new Episode in 4 Years), this shot sums up how the experience feels to me...

Next up, she's a girl.  She's also a Squid (since this is an Anime).  Stay tuned...

Completely-Deceptive Cover Art: Blade Runner 2?

A gift that I would eventually get around to actually using.  Better late than never, Maynard.

Thanks to my Foreign Blog Buddy, I got this weird-looking cover to a movie called...Blade Runner 2?  Entschuldigen Sie?

Thanks to the Internet, I know that this does NOT translate to anything remotely similar to Ridley Scott's classic film title.  It means 'The Decision.'

No offense, but that sounds more like some Movie of the Week from Lifetime where a lady must decide to give her baby up for adoption or something.

M-Dogg (feel free to use that now) also give me the film's less-Foreign Cover Art for comparison...

Battlespace- not again!!!

If it is anything like that film, you can just go ahead and kill the Earth without me.

Public Domain Cinema: The Last Man on Earth

At last, the origin of the original.  Today's film is The Last Man on Earth, which has been Public Domain for quite a long time.  Does that make it bad?  No, of course not.  Many Classics are Public Domain- many just suffer from business changes over the time since they were made.  The Universal Horror Films have stayed out of it, since Universal is still around to renew its copyright.  In contrast, the ownership of the infamous Poverty Row Films became anyone's guess and entered the Public Domain.  So let me break this film down for the five of you who don't know about.  It is the earliest adaptation of 'I Am Legend' by the late Richard Matheson, a work more famously known as The Omega Man.  While also famous for the 2007 Will Smith film (which I do like alot), the most famous version is not an official one- Night of the Living Dead.  There's no denying it- even George A. Romero says so.  Oddly, neither of the film's two Directors went on to do that much.  I will admit to being a bit biased here since the film stars Vincent Price.  Even so, I will give this film a fair, historical assessment.  Since the story has been redone so many times since then (including by The Asylum!), I will be less detailed and more comparative.  To find out more about a film you may not know (or don't remember that well), read on...

The world is not a good place.  Bodies are everywhere, cities are in ruin and life as we know it has ended.

More importantly, Feng Shui is dead!!!

Like he would do in all (I believe) versions, our Robert (last name changed for no reason) tries to call people on the radio, but never seems to get a response.

It is bad enough having to take out the trash all of the time.  Now imagine that you have to lug dead bodies into a fire to keep them from coming back to kill you.

Fun Fact: Price apparently lifted real bodies for all but the dumping scenes, since he wanted it to seem real.

If you doubt the Living Dead comparisons, I will just show you this and remind you that this film came out in 1964.  Moving on...

Okay- that was a lie.  Here we see Robert watching some talking heads (not the band) talk about the crisis (in a flashback btw).  Seem familiar?

One thing the 2007 Version has on this one is their choice (and use of the) dog.  In this one, it is a cute one.  In that one, it is a useful companion.

Of course, it still beats what The Asylum did- they just showed a picture of a dog (implying its death)!

Our lonely hero finds some company, but there has to be a catch here.  She probably wants to deliver a subpoena or something.

As it turns out, she is being treated for the Vampire/Zombie-like disease on a daily basis, but is not cured.  Her group wants Robert dead since he has apparently been killing people that could actually be cured.

He doesn't take the news well.

In a bleak ending, he is killed by the group.  There is at least some hope as his blood cures the lady and cold possibly lead to the salvation of mankind (just without him).

Feel free whether to discuss whether this is better than the 8 different endings used in 2007.  The End.

It is a bit creaky, but still a Classic.  Let it be said that The Last Man on Earth is a good movie.  It has many small faults that you could pick it apart by.  The tone is often too bleak, the Acting is not always great and the Pacing is odd.  It is notable that Matheson himself apparently didn't like Price being cast as the Lead.  I'm not sure who to agree with- I highly respect both men.  I have seen people tear this thing apart, while other still have called it 'Price's best film.'  To me, at least, that is still The Abominable Dr. Phibes.  The best way to describe Man is as the prototype for a great movie.  Due to budgetary issues (it was almost a Hammer film!) and issues with direction (it is competent, but that's it), it did not live up to its potential.  Even so, what other film has Vampire/Zombies, but replaced Steven Seagal with Vincent Price?  Yeah, exactly.  Man is an important part of Film History (even if it isn't great) and that's not just me making an ass out of myself...

Next up, another Vincent Price film that is in the Public Domain (on the same DVD).  Is the 3rd time the charm for this crime tale?  Stay tuned...

My Crazy Youth: That Time That Thundarr Fought the King Kong Robot!

I was going to do a different Episode of Thundarr, but I watched this one- as I own the Complete Series DVD Set here- and said 'Nope- I'm doing this one!'  If you missed this show somehow (and still do, since it is on Boomerang), here's a rundown.  In the year 1994, a rogue planet (their words) flew between the Earth and the Moon, splitting the latter and tearing the Ozone Layer off of the former.  That all makes sense, right Neil DeGrasse Tyson?  The show takes place 2,000 years later (much like Adventure Time btw) and features creatures, robots and Wizards.  What other show had all three?  Thundarr- pre-dating He-Man by three years- uses his magical Sun Sword alongside human sorceress Ariel and Ookla the Mok to keep the surviving people free and safe from evil.  Incidentally, the show was based on ideas from Steve Gerber, the same man who wrote the Episode of Batman: The Animated Series where he fought Farmer Brown and his giant bugs.  The show also featured the behind-the-scenes work of Alex Toth, who any fan of Animation should know, and another famous Comic Creator.  This Episode features evil Apes, a Dragon and a then-recent movie prop playing a key role.  To find out the secret, read on...

Thundarr and company run across said evil Apes digging up something.  It is part of their plan to get rid of the humans that co-occupy the valley.  More on them later.

What could they be digging up?  Maybe this early Screen Cap will give you a hint.

If you know it already, don't share answers with the class.

Those humans are...well, just look.

Oh and the other Creator was Jack Kirby.  If you can't tell that he designed this Character, then you need to brush up on your Comic History.

Thundarr and company continue to try and stop the Apes from restoring 'The Mighty One.'  His parts were apparently buried all over the Studio Lot, so as to keep him from being recreated.

I'd say that it is just a conceit of the show, but I believe that it may have actually happened.

The Apes manage to capture our heroes and sick a dragon on them.  While they escape, he reforms 'The Mighty One' and uses his controls.  Time for mayhem!

For the three of you that didn't figure it out yet, I will spill the beans.  The Apes remade the 30-foot King Kong robot from the 1976 film!  Given that this Episode originally-aired in 1980, it sure was topical still.

You have to use some conceit for this to make sense.  For example, the King Kong robot works!

To recap, a Barbarian, a Wookie-like creature and a Sorceress must save a Village of 'little people' from talking Apes controlling the King Kong robot made by the late Dino De Laurentiis, which was buried for over 2,000 years.

All good.  Okay then- let's see how much sillier this can get.

Thundarr and company ran across an old WWII-looking plane earlier in the Episode (another prop?), so it is the natural weapon to use to aid them in stopping legally-not-called-Kong.

Sure enough, Thundarr manages to take down the creature and restore peace to the Valley.  Time to ride off into the sunset Scooby-Doo style (R.I.P. Casey Kasem).  The End.

Even I didn't expect this!  Bear in mind, other Thundarr episodes have Vampire Aliens from Outer Space, a Time Machine and an ICBM.  The show was weird- plain and simple.  From the premise to the execution, nothing was normal.  That, of course, is why I loved it then and I love it now!  Was the show the best?  No.  You could pick apart the numerous influences of the show, whether it is the lightsabers from Star Wars or Thundarr's Conan-like persona.  Having said that, it is so batshit insane that it is a must-see for people like me.  If you are into weird cartoons, I highly-recommend this show.  How can you not want to see a Barbarian, a Mok and a Sorceress battle a 30-foot tall robot of King Kong used for approximately 9 seconds in the 1976 Film (since it barely-worked)?  It is literally impossible.  Just bear in mind that this was made in 1980, so there are some animation hiccups like this one...

Next up, I find an Episode of Justice League to cover.  It may involve transformation, B'Wana Beast and...singing.  Stay tuned...

Father's Die: Kiss Daddy Goodbye

It is neither the best nor the worst film I've seen featuring psychic/telekinetic siblings.  Today's movie is Kiss Daddy Goodbye, since it sounded more interesting than Kiss Daddy Goodnight.  I'll get you next year, Uma.  In honor of Father's Day, let me honor this 1981 curiosity piece.  The story is about a pair of blond siblings with psychic powers who have tragedy happen to them, but make the most of it.  One-time Director Patrick Regan casts two of his kids as the kids, so you know that they are going to be great in this!  The film's cast is rounded out by two people who don't go together: Fabian and Marilyn Burns.  The former is a Singer with a so-so Acting Career, while the latter is most famous for being chased by Leatherface.  She only really appeared in about 7 films in any major role, so this one does stand out.  You have to wonder if she would have been pickier in hindsight.  The film's gimmick involves a Zombie- of sorts-, so that attracted my attention.  To find out if it kept it, read on...

I'm scared right away as they pass a sign for what was apparently the film's original title.  I can't stand another film like Beware: Children at Play!  Not again!

This man is a very secretive and protective Father to these two Village of the Damned children.  Why is he like that?

Well, they have mental powers, demonstrated here by their ability to reverse footage of groceries being shoved out of a cabinet.

Oh and they got their powers from a dead, never-shown mother.  Is she supposed to be Carrie?  Weird.

Conflict arises when a quartet of bikers- who just drive around being dicks- show up at their house.  The dad escalates things by pulling a gun on them when they won't leave and gets killed for it- all while the kids watch.

When a creditor comes the next day, they do the only natural thing: reanimate their dead father to scare him.  In Horror Cliche #57, he has a heart attack and dies from that.

I should note that there is a Hitchcock connection here as they dump the car in a lake like the boy 'saw in a movie.'  That movie is obviously Psycho.  Weird.

To help the film reach 90 minutes, we have what amounts to the Sub-Plot featuring Fabian and Burns.  They don't add much, really.  Thanks for at least being the best Actors here.

Daddy comes into play alot in the 2nd and 3rd Acts as he kills two of the bikers from under the sand!  He's the early version of Sand Sharks!

He also scares two Surfers, the latter of whom has lines like 'Hey man, let's go get high' and 'If he said anything else, I'd wring his neck.'  They don't die- sadly?  No Poor Bastards of Cinema today.

The remaining Bikers take Burns and find the kids.  After having just buried him (or rather, having him bury himself), they bring Daddy back to kill 'Billy' here.  He does the 'I'll keep shooting, since the 5th bullet will definitely work!' Cliche.  I love it.

As for the other guy, he dies after being shot by Fabian, following a jazz-accompanied car chase.  Sure- why not at this point?

The day is saved and Burns promises to keep the kids' secret.  Fabian, however, has some questions, leading to...a shot of Daddy's car starting up again on a beach.  Um...okay.  The End.

It falls somewhere between Village of the Damned (1960), Seconds Apart and Village of the Damned (1995) for me.  To be honest, the film isn't good.  The thing is that the premise and execution is so goofy that it just hard to stay mad at it.  Let's compare some more, shall we?  The original Village is just great, making those kids be a menace.  In this film, the boy tries his best, while the girl looks less threatening than Drew Barrymore in Firestarter.  Seconds has a plot that sounds interesting, but falls apart the more you think about it.  Their house is actually ruined, but they kept a permanent illusion up at all times in case anyone drove by or looked at it on Google Earth?!?  Did they fool Google Earth/Maps too, by the way?  This plot makes more sense and its biggest potential issue- who checks on the kids- is constantly focused on.  The set-up allows for them to not be in School and they try to cover their tracks.  No complaints there, to be honest.  The Village remake has issues with putting in lots more gore just to appease a then-modern audience.  This film has pretty bloodless killings, so it is not going to offend anyone too much.  It does have a lot of pointless nudity from the film's one other woman- the Biker Lady.  Is this film as bad as people complain?  I'd say 'no.'  Like I said, it is not good, but it is nowhere near being the worst film ever or anything.  If the goofy premise had been done more competently and with more 'gusto,' it could be a real Cult Classic.  Dare I ask a good Director/Writer to Remake it?  If they can make it good, sure.  Oh and make sure to include the best Credit from this film too...

Next up, some Public Domain from my cheapo DVD collection.  It has been long enough for me to fairly critique a Richard Matheson adaptation now, I think.  Stay tuned...