2023 Catch-Up: The Flash

In spite of what people might think, I'm not simply a Marvel Fan.

I'm a Comic Book Fan that really wants to see them come to life.

So why is this one a nightmare for me?

This is The Flash.

He got pretty much no setup in his previous appearances, so they front-load the Intro to tell you about him, his personality and just how he is in general.

Sadly, the answer to all three is Ezra Miller.

He runs into action to clean up the vague mess that Batman left behind- somehow a robbery ends up with a Hospital collapsing- and has to rescue a bunch of babies.

They're worse CGI monstrosities than the one in Twilight, complete with failing to match up to the Quicksilver bits from the Fox Films.

It's great if you like the blurry yellow textures though.

I hope you enjoyed Wonder Woman- she won't show up again.

I hope you enjoyed the rehash of the Lasso of Truth joke too.  Sadly, we got to see that twice.

A sad, desperate Barry decides to- in spite of warnings- go back in time to save his Mother.

Who killed her?
Well...the Film doesn't say.  It doesn't rhyme with 'Rehearse Dash' though.

A mysterious speedster bumps Barry out of the time stream and right to, conveniently enough, the day that he got his powers.

Oh joy- there's two of him.

This also happens to be the day that General Zod shows up too, only this time there is no Kal-El.

And yes, they do retcon Barry into being in Metropolis too.  Sigh.

With the other Justice League Members not around- for no explainable reason- he goes to get help from Batman...but it is Nostalgia...I mean, Tim Burton's Batman.

To paraphrase a quote from Michael Caine on Keaton's behalf, 'The Movie wasn't good, but the House it bought was amazing.'

Alongside a barely explained (or important) Supergirl, Flash, More Annoying Flash and '89 Batman try to save the day.

What happens when that doesn't work?

To find out, stream the Film (if you must).

A Film that spent way too long in development to turn out like this.

How has this been in some phase of Production since 2014?!?

Putting aside the fact that this was released after people knew that the DCEU in its current state was ending, this Film is just not good.

Ezra Miller.
Even if he was an amazing Actor (he's not), he's so bad at this role.  He plays the most annoying Flash I've ever seen or heard...until he plays Young Barry (aka him with bangs) and tops himself.  So much of the Film is about him and there's just no getting away from how bad it is.

And yes, there's also the creepy and criminal stuff too.
Why they decided to lose $200 million on this and blip Batgirl out before anyone could see it is a decision that will (and should) haunt the Studio forever.

They try to compensate by doing this weird mix of Nostalgia Bating (with Wonder Woman and then Keaton) and Legacy Sequel (with the new Supergirl).  It gets worse with the CGI corpses of previous Actors and even the exploitation of the one that actually agreed to take part (see below).

It is bad.
It is really bad.

It looks bad, sounds bad, feels bad and just makes me feel bad for watching it.

As a last-ditch attempt to seem impartial, here's one shot of Miller as Flash that isn't awful.  Take what you can get here, folks.

A Film that could have been saved, but it would have required actual care.  I really wonder why Tom Cruise said that this was great.

2023 Catch-Up: The Exorcist- Believer

 The original Film's Director attacked the idea of this one and didn't live to see the actual Film.
Well, I did (obviously), so here we are.

How bad can it be?

In Haiti, a man's pregnant wife is severely injured in an Earthquake.

The Doctors tell him that they can save her OR the baby.  He has to choose.

13 years later, he's raising his Daughter in Georgia and trying to get by.

She makes friends and spends the night with one...only to go missing.

Well, you know the Title of this one, so you can guess where this goes.

The girl is definitely NOT ready for Picture Day!

Well, it's a Legacy Sequel, so who can they get?

It is Ellen Burstyn as the Mom from The Exorcist, who got famous for her story, but lost touch with her Daughter (who has avoided this Series since Part 2).

She's happy to help out, even if her Billing might make you believe that she has a bigger part than she actually does.

Can a Priest, a Pastor and a bunch of other people (including Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid's Tale) save TWO girls possessed by a demon (or demons)?!?

Is this a very literal case of Sequelitis?

It may come down to Dad making another choice.

Will he make the right one?

To find out, stream the Film now.
Someone paid $400 million for this (and possibly only this), so they'd prefer if you did!

Truth time- I don't hate this.

Get out the pitchforks!  It's true!

Is this better than the original?  No. 
Is this better than Part 2?  Hell yes.

This Film got lots of flack.  I'm honestly not sure why!
Sure- I could point out that some people *probably* didn't like it, since it Stars *gasp* People of Color.  That's a given.

The Plot isn't bad.  I do like the Story, and it plays out pretty well.  I like the make-up.  I like the Effects overall.  I liked the Acting from all involved.  It wasn't just a rehash with new CGI and Actors.

Was it likely a shallow marketing attempt to shell out that much money for the Series rights?  Yes.
Should the Film be blamed for that?  No.

This one is pretty good at hitting the right notes for a Legacy Sequel (returning character, some familiar beats) and being its own thing.  If you somehow have NO emotional connection to the Series of Films, you can watch this on its own.

Would it be less hated if it was one of the many, MANY non-Exorcist Films about an Exorcism?  Probably.

Ultimately, it is a decent to good Film that got hit for many reasons (fair or not), got people up in arms about a random line from Ellen Burstyn joking about 'the patriarchy' and probably wasn't helped by the growing annoyance at these kinds of Films (like that last TCM Film or the Halloween ones or Jurassic Park: Fallen Kingdom...or The Flash...or Spider-Man: No Way Home...etc, etc.)

Honestly, give it a chance.  You may or disagree.  Regardless, just remember what all Films fear- going head-to-head with Taylor Swift!

A Film that will hopefully get a fair shake.  Again- I'm not saying that it is life-changing or amazing, but it is not the Worst Film of the Year by a mile.

Shudder-day: Creepshow- 'Baby Teeth"

One last Segment to go.  

What will do after I'm done talking about...

A teenage girl gets her wisdom teeth taken out.

In my experience, this look is to be expected.

Her Mother is very smothering, which we find out later is due to her Husband and Mother both running out on her.

She insists that the Daughter put her matching, metal necklace back on, but she refuses.

She goes back home and acts all rebellious, being a teenage girl on all.

She finds out that her Mother kept all of her baby teeth (as well as the now-extracted ones) in a box.

What is the reason behind it?

It is too weird for me to SPOIL, so you'll just have to watch it and see.

It's definitely a weird one to go out on.

To be fair, the Show has mostly moved past the more straightforward 'Monster A Shows up to kill People' kind of story.

It is Season 4- you've got to mix things up!

This one was very strange, but does a good job of building up mystery and tension in a tight runtime.  This one is about 20 minutes long.  Even so, it foreshadows things nicely.

I *think* I understand it, but that's fine.

I won't SPOIL the creature.  I will say that it is a fun, low-budget one.

So, there we are- the last Segment in Creepshow so far.  Now I just have to break the news to someone else.  I hope that they take it well...

A fun, weird little Story.  I'm not going to say that it is my favorite, but it was freaky.

Tubi Thursday: Steel (1997)

 Let's start Black History Month off right with the THIRD Black-led Superhero Film (not counting this).

An Army Scientist (Shaquille O'Neal)- pause for laughs- develops new weapons.

However, his comrade (Judd Nelson) abuses them, getting a Senator killed and crippling his friend (Anabeth Gish).

He gets Judd kicked out of the Army.

...but he quits too.

He won't be making any more weapons.

He's going to go somewhere safe- 1990s Los Angeles!

He finds a new purpose with his family, including 'Uncle Joe' (Richard Roundtree).

Nothing could go wrong...

...until Nelson starts making more weapons, conveniently in the same City.

Would we have a Film if he had moved to Florida and did this?

Alongside Sparks (who was inspired by then-recent Character Oracle), they make gear to stop the new weapons.

So, he becomes Steel and tries to stop the bad guys.

Can his definitely-not-rubber suit stop them and save his City?

An evil Judd Nelson?  I don't like his odds.

To find out, stream this (possible) Cult Classic now.

I was going into this one expecting to feel vindicated in mocking it for years.

That said, it's...alright.

I can see what Kenneth Johnson (the Writer and Director) was going for.  They grounded the Character by removing the whole Superman aspect and basing it around a more normal guy.

Mind you, it is 7 foot tall Shaq playing a Scientist/Steel Worker.  There's only so much you can do.

Speaking of Shaq, while he rightly didn't win any Acting awards for this, I have to respect his hustle.  He had to learn the Script and take Acting Lessons between playing in the 1996 Olympics and training for the next Season for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Could you do that?

The Film's biggest downside is that there are many 'stock' elements about it, from the Setting to the Score to the Character Arcs.  Someone cared about developing the idea of the Film, how different it should be from Superman Films and then...well, someone else filled in the rest.

The Film was not a hit in 1997 (grossing less than Batman & Robin- which should not be your bar).  In 2024, I can say that...it tried.

I don't love it...but I'm not going to hate it on either.

And now, to Ebay...

An honestly decent Film.  They take a different, more grounded approach to this and it kind of works as its own thing.

'70s TV: Daschell Hammet's The Dain Curse (Part 2 of 3)

 Another week and we get to look at Part 2.
In my defense, these Shows didn't usually run night-to-night-to-night, now did they?

Let's see what happens in the second Episode of...

To recap, a simple investigation into missing diamonds led to Hamilton Nash (James Coburn) working the case.

It eventually lead to him proving that the death of the man that reported the robbery was murder and tied to the alleged 'Dain Curse.'

Trying to protect the Daughter, he is gassed and finds her with a bloody knife, ending Part 1.

***

Nash realizes that she didn't really kill anybody.  No blood is on her- just the knife.

They find the big staging area for the Cult and see that the blade was once on the pedestal and the blood matched.

Things take a turn when they hide and see the Leader preparing to make a sacrifice.

The rich lady from earlier is going to be killed until they intercede, with Nash shooting the man.

In the aftermath, they must break the programming on those in the group.

In the aftermath, they confront the man behind the curtain (as it were).

It is Brent Spiner!

Basically, he was gassing and manipulating the people at the Leader's command.

In the ensuing time, the Daughter and Maid recovered from the programming.

The former ended up marrying the Cop who helped Nash on the case.

Love was in the air!

So why did he telegram Nash on his honeymoon?

What was so important?

...and why was he now dead, lying on the beach?

He works the case, looking for the missing Bride.
Is she the Killer?

He works it with the Local Authorities, led by Hector Elizondo.  
Look at how brown his hair is!

During this, he consults with his friend (Miller) who's done some research on the titular Dain Curse.

He says that it goes back about 100 years, involving strange and accidental deaths in the family line, which arguably includes the Father from Episode 1 now.

Nash doesn't deny it outright, but also says that he's not going to mention to the Police...for obvious reasons.

Suddenly a ransom note appears for the Dain girl.

Did they kill the Husband?

Why does none of this seem to add up though?

It turns out that the most obvious culprit is- shock of all shocks- is not the guilty party.

A Red Herring- you say?!?

The local Sheriff knew that his Wife was cheating on him with the guy, so he tried to pin it on him to get revenge.

In the End, they do find her on an inlet and she warns Nash that the Dain Curse will take him too.  

To be concluded...

An Episode that raises many questions and delivers a few answers.

It is interesting to see how the Cult stuff didn't amount to much in the end.  Maybe it will come back around in Episode 3.

The mystery aspect takes a nice turn though, as it goes from a murder mystery to a missing person's case.  It was also nice to take Nash out of the City- just to keep things fresh.

As always, Coburn is great here.  He's strong and firm, but can only show vulnerability.  It is a tricky thing to do when playing a Dime Store Detective (or some equivalent).  Can you be a hard case, but also show more emotion and be vulnerable?  Are you just going to be a cliche?

Elizondo is a nice, grounding influence in the Story.  I hope they keep him around for the next Episode.
Oh and Brent Spiner, but I somehow doubt it.

I can't wait to see how this thing ends and if Data here makes a comeback.

Next up, I'll search the pile for something appropriate for February.  If not, more random stuff for you to enjoy.  Stay tuned...

Shudder-day: Creepshow- 'George Romero in 3-D'

 As we are in the last Episode of Creepshow so far, let's do each segment separately this time.

It is a fitting tribute to the man behind this whole Show (even if he didn't live to see it come to fruition) ...

In Pittsburgh, a Book Store is in trouble.

They don't sell online and are going to soon lose their lease.

They discover a box of unpublished Comics written by George Romero.

It turns out that this Store was built on Romero's old Production Company Building.

The sale of the Comics could save them, but there's a catch- the 3-D effect seems to bring a Zombie out of the Comic Book.

So now the ragtag group must get some help out of the pages of the comic itself.

Can Paper George Romero help them save the day as they throw in a half dozen homages to his Films?

To find out, check it out now.

A fun little segment.  The idea of this one is a weird one, but I'm here for it.

The idea of Zombies coming out of a form of Media is not new, of course.  A Film about them coming out of a TV is one I can think of right away.

I do like how they made it about Romero's allegedly-unreleased Comics.

Was that based on a real thing?  I'm too lazy to Google it, so...sure.

They have a fun time with the 3-D aspect and the idea of a Romero avatar.  I was worried about how that would come off, but the effect is nice and it is a loving homage.

The whole Segment is fun and great.  It sure beats other attempts to do Romero Films in 3-D...

A nice homage to Mr. Romero- as you'd expect.  A nice twist on a Zombie story, even in this condensed form.

Tubi Thursday: The Changeling (1980)

 Thanks to this Streaming Service, I can finally check another Classic off of the List.

What scares can Peter Medak bring us today in...

In a Cold Open (literally and thematically), a man- George C. Scott) witnesses his Wife and Daughter killed in a freak car accident as they wait on the side of the road.

It is a gripping opening, unless you think like me that he was trapped in the Phone Booth by the Title Card appearing.

Hey, I have to do *something* to lighten the mood, no?

Months later, he's trying to move on with his life and he ends up in Seattle.

Yes, that's a great place to go to NOT be depressed!

He's allowed to stay in a House owned by the Historical Society.

However, he starts to hear strange sounds in the House when he's alone.

Banging sounds.
Crashing.
Strange music.

In fact, a piece he doesn't remember hearing ends up inspiring him to compose a 'new' piece.

He's finally led to the Attic, where he discovers a hidden room, boarded up and locked.

Nothing good can be in a place like this.

Behind 5 layers of dust and cobwebs, he finds a child's notebook, a tiny wheelchair and a music box that plays the piano track that he just wrote.

He investigates the House- using Microfiche (Google it, kids!)- and holds a seance.

After hearing a weird voice on the tape, he's eventually led to a new location.

They dig up the floor and find a body near a well.

No, it is not Sadako.
Could it have inspired Ringu (which was written in 1991)?  Maybe.

This doesn't seem to appease the spirits and he's led to a Senator they conveniently introduced in Act 1.

How nice of them.

What secret is the ghost trying to reveal?
Can the past stay buried?

For once, I won't SPOIL this one here.  Go see it, if you've somehow put it off like I have for so long.

The End.

A nice, moody Film that really delivers.

This one often makes Lists of Scariest Movies Ever or Scariest Movie Moments (like this one).

Is it warranted?  I think so.

Granted- it is not a Film full of boogeymen, jump scares (at least not the kind you're thinking of) and death.  It is all about atmosphere, building up tension and making little things feel intense.

So much of what a Film like this does is build you up to things you don't actually see.  That's not to say that nothing happens on-screen, because it does.  Just don't expect something like Jason shooting people in 3-D or Freddy Kreuger setting up a one-liner with a death.

Peter Medak and company do a great job here- no question.  I can see why it has been recommended for all of these Decades.  I'm only a little bit sorry that I took so long.  I'm not sure that 20-year-old me would have appreciated it like *cough*dothemath*cough* year old me does now.

If you like slow-burn Horror and are willing to wait for the big payoff (while seeing a Master Class in Acting from George C. Scott), give this one a look already.

It somehow makes a ball bouncing down stairs scary (as opposed to annoying)...

A great Film that lives up to its reputation.  Just don't confuse it with the (hopefully also good) Film with Angelina Jolie from 2008 (just called Changeling).