Quick Review: Parasite (2004)

 To prepare myself for the Oscar-Winning Film, I needed something a bit...less awarded.  It has the same Title though, so it counts...

The Plot involves a group of 'Eco-Terrorists,' an evil Oil Company Executive, some workers and a vague Sci-Fi substance.

It's all very 'meh,' so here's a cool Poster for the Film instead of a Screen Cap.

Eventually, the groups start to be picked off by the title creatures.

In this case, they are mutated Eels that kill and infect humans.

The other Parasite (from 1982) also has a mutated worm-like thing.  Will the 2019 Film complete the hat trick?

There's no real surprises here.

No bit twists.

There's only a little bit of nudity to distract you.

Instead of a Screen Cap of a lame CGI Monster, here's the British Poster (with a cooler, more misleading Title)...

Parasite is...okay.  It doesn't do much to really impress.  The CGI is pretty lame at worst and alright at best.  The Plot is pretty by the numbers.  Oil guys are bad, Eco Terrorists are good and CGI Eels are worse.  The Characters aren't memorable.  The Setting is alright, but, as I covered before, Oil Rigs are surprisingly-prevalent in Horror/Sci-Fi.  If you want to stand out, you need to do something interesting.

CGI Eels aren't that interesting.

So you can safely skip this Parasite and, well, probably this one too...

A pretty nothing Film that neither disappoints (since you expect little from these) nor amazes.  It...exists.

*Gained* in Translation: Scream (1996)

 As a Tribute to the now-late Artist Enzo Sciotti, I thought I'd highlight one of his Posters.

It was new to me and it *might* be new to you.

This is his Poster for Wes Craven's Scream...

Damn.

What else can I say?

Just damn.

RIP Good sir.

New Streaming: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier- Episode 2

 Well, I waited long enough not to SPOIL the big reveal.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

This is the 2nd Episode of...

In the wake of Steve Roger's 'death,' a new Captain America- John Walker- is enlisted by the Military.

What's the worst that could happen?

The Flagsmashers are going around stealing supplies and creating all sorts of mayhem.

They're probably just mad that their kid got his hand-print on their nice, new Payday Masks.  Those things aren't cheap, you know!

Can the new Captain America (along with Battlestar) join forces with Falcon and The Winter Soldier to save the day?

Seems unlikely.

Hell, can our two Title Characters even get along well enough to work as simply a duo?

There's 6 more Episodes, so probably.

Will a face from America's past be enough to unite them (even if he isn't happy to see them)?

To find out, watch the Show.

This is another strong Episode, no question about it.  We finally get more one-on-one time with our 2 Leads.  They work well off of each other here.  They deal with their tension.  They deal with their issues.  They are both friends and enemies- aren't we all?  Too deep?  The new Captain America idea is a big reach and it works.  It feels like something that would happen.  It is easy to see how something that would be policy.  Given the timing of how the Show had to work, this feels more like a Trump thing, but it could happen with lots of Presidents.  In Comics, we had Nixon betray Captain America (as part of the Secret Empire) and a similar thing with Reagan.  Meanwhile, Clinton worked with groups like Youngblood and WildCATS.  There's also that time that President Obama was a Barbarian (or something).  This version of John Walker is seeming to take a slow turn towards the more manic, hyper-aggressive version from the Comics.  He works and I'm curious to see how this plays out in the Show.  There's an issue about whether or not the Show trivializes people going through Therapy.  Bucky definitely needs it and should get it.  This is an Action Show about people getting Super Powers and not Homecoming.  Set your expectations appropriately.  As for me, I'm going to keep watching the Show as it goes down the road.

Next time, a 3rd Episode brings us new dangers and thrills.  Prepare to diagram every single frame, Marvel Fans online!

Rare Flix: Mesmerized (1986)

 A hidden gem from the VHS Era?  This is Mesmerized, a Film that I found randomly on VHS.  When I saw it, I was like 'what is this movie and why have I never heard of it?!?'  Well, you get the results of my searching.  This is a semi-biographical tale of a woman from New Zealand who faced a murder rap for her husband.  Oops, already SPOILERS.  Oh well.  Naturally, this Film stars such famous New Zealand Actors as Jodie Foster and...John Lithgow.  Yeah, so this is an RKO Picture- and yes, that was still a thing in 1986.  There was some local controversy as a number of New Zealand Actors could have gotten such juicy, local-related parts.  It's kind of like how they made a Film about MLK Jr starring a British Man as him, a British Actress as his Wife AND with a British Director.  The Film was not much of a big deal at the time, but got a bit more attention (and a new VHS release) after Silence of the Lambs.  So is this a hidden gem?  Should you find a VHS Player for it like I did?  To find out, read on...

The Film begins with the woman- Foster- on trial.  Will they find her guilty?

I should note that I'm using a Streaming Copy for Caps as my copy is, well, not great.  It's a VHS Tape from 1986- what do you expect?!?

Said woman is the product of an unmarried couple and not even given a name for a while.

When she comes of age, she's married off to an older man- Lithgow.

It's funny that a 17 year age gap like the one between Lithgow and Foster here is 'bad' in 1986, but a 39 year age gap would be just peachy in 1999 with Entrapment.

After waiting for her to arrive (they married officially when she was 16), the guy has pent up, well, everything and spies on his new-wife while she changes.

I feel like you're doing Marriage wrong there, champ!

After about a Month of marriage, she's really unhappy.  Oh and Lithgow's Brother is a bit younger and actually not an asshole.

Desperate, the pair escape together, but get stopped on the train.

In a scuffle, it seems that Foster has killed the brother...so she returns home, no indebted to Lithgow.

However, it turns out that he isn't dead.  That was a good 5 minutes of tension, Movie.

Lithgow and his Dad hide the proof from Foster, just not going as far as to actually *destroy the evidence.*

Oh and his Dad was one of the Kryptonian Judges in Superman 2.  Neat!

Things seem like they are going better as Foster gets pregnant with Lithgow's child.

Things take a turn for the worse when the baby dies in childbirth.  Yeesh!

The pair continue to live unhappily together when a Doctor teaches the pair about hypnosis right the hell out of nowhere.

This sure won't pay off later!

Lithgow gets really sick and dies, with the Father blaming Foster for his death.  That brings us up to date with the Intro.

The Trial shows that Lithgow died from ingesting chloroform, but wasn't forced to so, clearing Foster.

However, we learn that she had been prepping Lithgow for the hypnosis in his weakened state and 'suggested' that he intake it.

In the aftermath, she leaves New Zealand and meets up with the Brother, whom she learned was alive thanks to the letter that Lithgow didn't think to destroy.

They lived happily ever after together...maybe.  The Film is coy about whether this is real or fictionalized, so...make up your own ending, I guess.

A Film that isn't quite what it is promised.  That's a sin by the Producers and Marketing Department though.  They really want you to think that the Film is a dark Thriller.  Yeah, not so much.  It's by no means a Comedy, but it is much more of a Character Drama.  The Marketing issues are mostly due to the whole Silence of the Lambs thing.  If you know that, you can enjoy the Film more.  Foster doesn't *really* try to do anything other than a soft English accent, while Lithgow goes all-in on the New Zealand accent.  Given the nature of that voice, I'm not sure if he's really good or really bad.  Is he doing an accurate impression of a voice that, well, sounds silly to us Americans?  Is he doing a bad version of a voice, making it sound extra silly to us Americans?  You decide!  I can't.  The Plot is alright, but feels like they both rush and run too slowly.  They rush through key times- like all of the pregnancy- and then run  too slowly through other times.  Why do they rush right to her trying to leave with the Brother (which is a month or so in)?  Why do they linger on Lithgow having his teeth removed to (not) save him?  Oh right- schadenfreude.  The Film is fine, but pretty banal.  It's also very dreary, given the subject matter.  I was hoping for something more scandalous for an obscure VHS discovery...but at least I got to see a young Billy the Kid.  

Next up, I prepare to watch an Oscar-winning Film by watching one that probably didn't even get a Saturn Award.  That's my style!  Stay tuned...

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Black Panther Bitch M

 Are you still a Poor Bastard if you're a lady?  Is it a Gender Neutral term?
Let's find out...

In Black Panther Bitch M, our titular Heroine is a killer trying to take out a bad Businessman.

After being wounded, she escapes and recovers.

The men's henchmen go looking for her and think they have found her...but they're wrong.

To prove that she's the woman, they need to see where her scar is...

So while they don't try to kill her (yet)- they rip open her top and make her feel, well, less than safe.

The actual woman- who saw this go down- interrupts them with a net (as you do) and we get another Action Scene.

So yeah, she doesn't get killed, but...I mean, she clearly suffers.

Her crime- looking kind of like our Heroine.

Next time, a Cop in a Horror Film.  Yeah, it won't end well.

Streaming Standard: Invincible- Episodes 1-4

 A Superhero Show that isn't Marvel or DC- how rare.

In this case, it is a Superhero Comic turned Show from Robert Kirkman and there are zero Zombies.  Shocking.

Thanks to Prime, we can see the first few Episodes of the Show.  1-3 rolled out at once, with Episode 4 coming the following week.

With this oddly-truncated releasing schedule, let's look at the first 4...

A young man is going through enough as a Teenager going through High School.  How can it be worse?

His Dad is Omni-Man, a Superman pastiche.
However, his powers have not come in yet.

Thankfully, he finally gets them and now wants to be like his Dad!

Too bad he has no time to get used to his powers before villains come knocking on his metaphorical door to attack the City and World in general.

The pair also try to bond, even as things change once his powers manifest.

Is there bonding going to make up for lost time?

Our Hero- now calling himself Invincible- finds some allies in a Teen Titans-pastiche.

They have to do some really heavy lifting when a bunch of Superheroes are killed, leaving a mystery to be solved by those who monitor Superheroes like Omni-Man and others.

He finally stands up for a girl he likes and now makes his move once he has her attention.

Can he become a Superhero under this amount of stress AND start a relationship?

To find out, stream the Show (now with Episode 5 out) on Prime.

A really strong Show that is a bit all over the place.  I'm going to be vague for alot of reasons.  So many big things in the Show work because you don't see them coming.  I know *a little* about the Comic, so the big angle is no surprise.  Seeing alot of things here are still a nice surprise for me, so I won't take that away from you.  The Story is a nice one, seeing the Characters grow and change over a short period of time.  There's Comedy.  There's Drama.  The one thing I will point out that is important is that the Show is abruptly violent in a dramatic manner.  It will seem normal and then BOOM- someone's head is crushed.  It is done to dramatic effect here, so it isn't necessarily a bad thing.  If you can't stand the ultra violence, maybe read Episode Summaries.  I will also note that there's an odd story structure to some of the Episodes.  There's a main Plot in a couple Episodes and then randomly they go somewhere else for 10 minutes.  Invincible is a good Show, especially if you want something different than Marvel and DC.  That said, they still give you pastiches of famous Characters, including, for some reason, Hellboy.

When the first Season ends, let's see how things are...

4,400th Post Celebration!!!: Godzilla 1985 vs. The Return of Godzilla (1984)

 Alright, let's go full nerd for this big post! 

Yes, starting now.
Shut up.

Do I need to listen to a Remix of the Blue Oyster Cult Song while I do this?

In 1984, Japan made the first Godzilla Film in around a Decade- The Return of Godzilla.  Fittingly, this was a direct Sequel to the Original and it came on the 30th Anniversary of said Film.

In 1985, the Film ended up with a US Distributor- New World Pictures (aka Roger Corman's company).  He apparently won out when Toho tried to get ALOT for the rights (some say $4 million in 1985 money).

His cut is, well, a bit different.  Let's see how...

VS

**** Before the Film, Godzilla 1985's VHS includes the Cult Classic Cartoon entitled Bambi Meets Godzilla.  It's silly and short & likely Public Domain.  See it here.  ****

The Intro- involving a Ship in peril and mutated Sea Louse- is otherwise unchanged.

However, the US Cut abandons the Louse aspect entirely, while the other does not.
We also see 'photos' shown of the original Godzilla attack- cut in the US Version.

Oddly, they then ADD IN Stock Footage of the same attack later.  Why?!?

So much of the Plot hinges upon the then-current Cold War.

As such, the Japanese Version shows a Russian Nuclear Satellite and....a US Nuclear Satellite.

Corman and company cut the latter.

In another bit that is cut for, well, American pride, a Japanese Politician talks about how the struggle between the US and Russia is mostly at-fault for all of this.

You don't talk about us like that...when we Dub the Audio.

The biggest change in the 1985 Cut is that they added in a bunch of new footage.

They parallel the bits with the Japanese Politicians/Leaders with some on the American side.  No Russians though- it is 1985, after all.

This new footage includes Raymond Burr, who is once again inserted into a Godzilla Film as 'Steve Martin.'

More egregious- the product placement from Dr. Pepper, which netted them $10 million!

The biggest Plot change here is that the inciting conflict- a Russian missile launched at Japan during Godzilla's attack plays out two different ways.

In Japan, the launch is accidental, due to Godzilla's attack.

In 1985, the attack is *intentional* on the part of Russia.  Kind of notable, no!

As noted in a previous piece, Godzilla 1985 is now the only Godzilla Film without a DVD Release, so enjoy the video contrast.

Besides that, we get random Edits like cutting a Guard screaming before Godzilla stomps on him and an Audio recut to say that the last appearance was in 1956 (the year that Godzilla: King of the Monsters was released in America).

Once you take out the casual xenophobia towards Russia and Raymond Burr, it's a mostly 1-to-1 thing.

Besides, Raymond Burr is 'in it to win it' here with his super-serious Acting (even if he shot it in one day and never learned his lines).  

Why does Godzilla 1985 get so much hate (from the like 10 people who remember it)?

In total, Godzilla 1985 is a streamlined cut with minor additions- for better or for worse.  It lacks some depth in the Story that was deemed 'dull' or cut for Pacing, mostly.
The Return of Godzilla is probably better, since it is objectively the Film that they were trying to make.

Even so, how can I stay mad?

Thanks to a Scene or two with some Russians (in both Versions), we get the joy of double Subtitles!

The Return of Godzilla is out on DVD for a reasonable price.  In contrast, Godzilla 1985 goes for around $40 online.

Hmm....I should sell mine to some sucker...I mean, fan.

Immediate Response: Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

 Well, I went to a Theater for the first time in, what, a year?  Dang.

The secret- go on a Wednesday afternoon.  You'll have plenty of space for Social Distancing.

The Good

* The Film delivers big action on all fronts, with Godzilla blasting and Kong smashing!

* The human element is underplayed here, giving more focus to the titular

* The Plot manages to have some nice surprises that *aren't* SPOILED in the Trailers and the execution is solid.

* The Film focuses on the creatures and, as such, shows us little people in comparison to them any time that both are on-screen.

The Bad

* The balance of the two Plots- one focusing on Kong and one on Godzilla/Apex- is sometimes uneven.  It's never really bad, but not quite right.

* For the 'leading man,' Godzilla vanishes for a bit in the middle of the Film.

* A few human characters- like Lance Reddick's and Kyle Chandler's- get bugger all to do.  Oh well.

As a whole, the Film delivered a good Plot, big Action and a focus where it should be.
If you're a fan of these kinds of Films, see it how you choose to.

For me, my home TV was just not the right medium and I found a safe venue.

'00s Trash?: Decoys- The Second Seduction

 After all of this wait, the Film is...well, you'll see.  This is Decoys: The Second Seduction, a 2007 Sci-Fi Horror Film.  Well, that *might* be the Title.  According to the Film itself, it is Decoys 2: Alien Seduction.  Which is better?  I lean more towards the former, as the latter is a bit redundant.  The last Film was *also* about Alien Seduction, so why highlight it here?  In contrast, this is the second time we're shown this happening (the implication is that they've been around for a while), so it makes sense.  There- that whole, important thing is settled.  Returning for the Sequel, we have Corey Sevier, but not his friend that betrayed him at the end.  Was she too busy?  Instead of that logical appearance, one of the two main Alien Ladies is back with no explanation (until the very end).  It's kind of silly, even for a Film with Alien Tentacle Ladies on a College Campus.  The Plot involves, well, a second seduction.  Have they worked out the kinks in the process or not?  To find out, read on...

In the cold (no pun intended) open, a couple make-out in a Car until the girl reveals her tentacles and kills him.

Whelp, more of the same.

Sevier is back and you're probably wondering why he's not dead.

Well, the Film *eventually* exposition dumps about it.

In short, he was 'in love' with the girl/alien and his body adjusted more gradually to the temperature drop (or something) and he woke up in a Hospital.

Presumably, the mating process worked, which is important to remember for later.

Our main focus is not on Sevier, but on some friends who make a March Madness-type thing where they 'score points' for 'scoring' with ladies.

Our Heroes!

A local Doctor is actually the Alien in disguise, who, again, was killed in the last Film.  Did she just get better?

She's watching Sevier and setting him up to look crazy, which, to be fair, is really damn easy!

Saw's Tobin Bell is here to basically sleepwalk through another easy role- like in Boogeyman 2.

He's the Professor who Sevier works for, asks him about some drawings of the Alien Girls and then gets killed off-screen.  Yea?

The big change here is that the Alien Girls know that acting on Guys' fantasies will make them less likely to die (for some reason).

As such, they can now read minds and morph into whatever outfit works.

It's a decent gimmick, so fair play.

Sevier continues to get manipulated easily and looks crazy, leading his Doctor- filling in the Supportive Female Side Character part from the last Film- to giving him lots of pills.

Basically, his whole Arc is stolen wholesale from *the original* Fright Night 2, complete with him not believing the last Film really happened...until he just does.

The Film layers a few random Sub-Plots in to reach 90 minutes, most notably our young Hero not being sure if his lady friend is an Alien (like in the last Film).

It all ends with a big series of showdowns with the Aliens, culminating in the main one.  She says that Sevier 'killed one of her clones' and that's all you get for an explantion.

She dies (again).

Throughout the Film, the bodies of the victims have gone missing and now we find out how- they were hidden by the Alien Girls.

Our Heroes and Heroines see the bodies as a new spawn emerges and...a cliffhanger ending?  The hell?!?!?

An improvement, for the most part.  I've talked about Sequelitis many times before.  If you don't know, it is the need to one-up things for the Sequel(s).  It sometimes ends well, like getting multiple Aliens in, well, Aliens.  Other times it gets a bit silly, like all of the fetish-y Werewolf stuff and new lore in Howling 2.  This one manages to kind of sneak by through the middle.  We don't really get new Aliens- just the new gimmick/power.  On its own, it is a fine bit of growth.  We don't get anything especially crazy though, like some sort of new transformation or anything.  The Plot growth kind of works.  The original Alien (kind of) manipulating Sevier works, even if Bell's part is pretty minor.  For getting top billing, Sevier doesn't do as much as you might think.  He's there for, I guess, the Star Power.  Quick- name another Corey Sevier Film that isn't Decoys!  Speaking of which, they name drop the Aliens here and act like Sevier coined that term in the last Film.  Did I miss that?  It's not a bad name, although the meaning is a bit dubious all things considered.  Decoys 2 (or whatever you want to call it) is a decent, but not-that-impressive Sequel.  As a follow-up, it's good.  On its own, it's alright, but that's about it.  At least you can enjoy all of the Dialog in way more languages than you might expect...

Next time, a Film from the 1980s that got minor attention due to its Stars.  Considering that DVDs are sparse however and my copy is on VHS, it didn't amount to much.  Stay tuned...