'80s Class?: Black Moon Rising (1986)

 Am I content with him solely as the Writer here?  This is Black Moon Rising, a 1986 Action Film with a big name behind...the pen.  

John Carpenter wrote the Script, which is a big plus for me.  Unfortunately, that's all he did.  

He apparently has said that he's never seen the final result either.  To be fair, some people just say that to be curmudgeonly and Mr. Carpenter does occasionally indulge in said behavior.  

It's been 30+ years, he's *probably* watched it by now, right?  The Plot involves a heist, a super car, Linda Hamilton, Tommy Lee Jones and The Guy from the band Fear.  The latter of whom keeps showing up in Films at random too- what are the odds?!?  

Seriously, I can't name one song by the band, but I've seen him THREE TIMES now when I didn't expect to.  We also get Bubba Smith for like 2 Scenes, so enjoy a Police Academy connection too.  

Anyhow, the Plot hinges upon a few random coincidences, but otherwise feels like a solid Carpenter Story.  If you can picture Kurt Russell playing the Lead, it counts.  I can, can't you?  

An interesting bit of the Film involves how the finale (teased on the Poster below) feels right out of a Fast & Furious Film.  Curious yet?  

To find out how this all makes sense, read on...

A man- Tommy Lee Jones- is a Thief hired by the Government to steal some stuff to proof that some bad guys are bad.

You know it is a Carpenter(ish) Film when you get lots of text coming in as typed on a computer screen.  It was kind of his thing.

Somewhere else, some people have made a new supercar that is super-fast and super-impossible to drive.

Seriously, IRL the car made you sit in it prone way back and the reflective black glass wasn't able to be seen through.  Shockingly, no stunt drivers ate it doing the Film!

Linda Hamilton is here as a woman who just *happens* to be at a Restaurant that Jones and the people behind the Super Car (called Black Moon).

I have no words for that hair.  Just...wow.

Hamilton steals all of the cars at the Restaurant, including Black Moon.

The problem- Jones stashed the evidence (a computer tape) in said Car when the goons (lead by the Fear guy) go after him.  Whoops.

Jones does the only natural thing after his original attempt to catch up to Hamilton fails (when she escapes in Black Moon).

He finds her and seduces her using that...rugged...Tommy Lee Jones charm...

He makes a deal with the guys who made Black Moon to break into the big High Rise to get it back, which obviously benefits him directly too.

Unfortunately for Hamilton, her rocky relationship with her Boss- Robert Vaughn- ends when he reveals that he filmed her sleeping with Jones, presuming that she betrayed him.

Try not to think about a Tommy Lee Jones Sex Tape now...

The gang stage an Ocean's 3 (since their buddy William Sanderson was killed earlier) break-in, not aided by Jones having been beaten up the night before.

Synchronize your watches!

The Super Car that this Film is titled after finally plays a part again in the finale as Hamilton and Jones try to escape the building in it.

They end up driving into a car-sized elevator and in front of Robert Vaughn.  How do you escape?

Also is them going up in the Elevator the extent of the 'Black Moon Rising' Title's significance? 

Jones does the only natural thing- he crashes through the window (and Vaughn) to fly OUT OF THE BUILDING and into the one next door!!!!

So two people escape a high rise in a Super Car (because it contains a high tech gadget) by flying out a window and into another building, you say?  Gee, where did Fast & Furious 7 get their idea from?

It works, of course, and everyone lives happily ever after...except for the flattened Robert Vaughn.  The End.

A pretty fun, evenly-paced adventure.  The Plot- you have to steal back a Super Car to save the day- is simple enough.  One guy does for an ulterior motive.  One lady does it to get back at her Boss.  Also the other people help too, I guess.  The real draw here is seeing Jones playing a sardonic Hero about a Decade before he became associated with them.  There's definitely shades of his Men in Black Character here, albeit with a less dry wit.  His comebacks were allegedly ad-libs/off-of-the-cuff too.  That said, they do feel like dialog that you'd get from John Carpenter.  There's nothing quite as good as 'I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum...and I'm all out of bubble gum' admittedly.  It's a credit to him how well he comes off here, since Jones was apparently having a bit of a drinking problem at this point (according to Linda Hamilton, apparently).  You can see it with phoned in performances from Jan-Michael Vincent (especially in Xtro II), but not here.  The titular Black Moon looks kind of cool, but is extremely-not-practical (as noted).  If you only need to drive straight and never turn, this...is still a bad car, since you're uncomfortable and blind in it.  The pairing of Hamilton and Jones definitely helps make this work, aided by a strong Robert Vaughn performance.  If it could have avoided some obvious pitfalls (like making Hamilton useless in the finale), it could be a great Cult Classic.  As it is, Black Moon Rising is fun all the same, but with less depth.  Speaking of lacking depth, you have to love the generic as hell Art they give older Films on re-release, don't you?

Next time, I finally go back to cover a '70s Cult Classic with a recent Remake.  Does Blacula have some competition?  Stay tuned...

'70s Class: Black Sunday (1977)

 Well, it shows you just how much worse the Super Bowl could have been, Chiefs fans.  

This is 1977's Black Sunday, the Film Adaptation of the Book of the same name.  The Plot involves an elaborate plan to attack said Super Bowl...albeit Super Bowl XI.  

Of course, due to shooting schedules, they use footage from Superbowl X and the Orange Bowl.  Amusingly, the Players in that game had to dress up as the other Teams to be extras.  

There's also a strange bit involving the Production hiring people from The United Way as Extras, paying for it by making an ad for them.  I guess that works,  but don't they take credit cards?  

A couple of things to note here, of course, as well.  

The Book is by Thomas Harris, making it one of only 2 Books not related to Hannibal Lecter by the Author.  The other one- Cari Mora- just came out in 2019, so this is also the one Film Adaptation of a Harris Book not to feature the iconic killer.  

Given a look at the Critics' Reviews, it probably will stay that way!  

We've got a bunch of big-time '70s Stars on board for this one too.  Robert Shaw- who also narrated the aforementioned ad-, Bruce Dern and Fritz Weaver are here to lend some gravitas.  

On that same subject, we have John Williams doing the Score!  Clearly, THIS is the Film with John Williams' Score and Robert Shaw that everyone remembers.  Stupid Shark.  

The Movie is tied to lots of current/recent events of the time that may not be *as remembered* today.  It relates to the thankfully-now-dormant Black September group.  

Remember them?  No Googling it- I'll know!  

Will this dated aspect make the Film dated or can it rise above that?  To find out, read on...

In November of 1977, bad guys are plotting an attack on the United States.

It hinges upon an Female Israeli Spy and a Vietnam Vet with PTSD (and blimp experience).

A Commando Raid- led by Robert Shaw- takes out most of the players, but not before certain things are put in motion.

On top of that, Shaw sees the Spy in the Shower and doesn't kill her.

This allows her to escape and keep the plan going, meeting up with the Vet (Bruce Dern).

Him building this boat will come into play later, of course.

They test a version of the bomb they are going to use for the plan.

This kills the Captain (who transported their plastic explosives) and nearly kills Shaw.

A failed attempt on Shaw's life leads to his cohort dying (see the Stinger).

Elsewhere, the would-be Terrorists use a new version of the bomb, killing one man and wrecking a nice shed.

That said, they make some nice moon light holes for it.

Things take a turn as Dern is taken off of the Blimp Job (as he stopped working to prepare the explosive).

It is here that he gives a genuinely-strong (and demented) monologue.  Good stuff, Mr. Dern.

It all comes to the big attack on the Super Bowl, which is full of people.  Remember how that looked?

In spite of the pair's best efforts, Shaw puts a stop to the attack by shooting them both.

After that, his Obvious Stunt Double hooks the Blimp to the Helicopter and leads it out to Sea.
Sorry to all of the Miami fish out there.  The End.

A strong, tense Film.  It is interesting to see what Thomas Harris wrote before he created Lecter.  

Honestly, it's pretty damn good.  To be fair, I am only rating the Film, which was adapted.  Joy- I need *more* Book to Film Comparisons to make!  And yes, I do own the Book now.

The Story is strong and is anchored by a good villain-hero comparison.  

On one side, Shaw is a strong-willed, brash and assertive commander.  

On the other side, you have a strong-willed, deadly and manipulative villain. 

One man leads a force to keep people safe from an attack, while the other manipulates a man with serious PTSD into building a bomb!  Bruce Dern is definitely a bad guy here, but they really make you feel for him.  He was a POW and then came back to a broken home.  

There's a very odd bit where they talk about how POWs are often 'stricken' with hirer rates of impotence and 'becoming homosexual.'  Thanks, 1970s!  I'd love to know the Science behind that.  

Dated Psychology aside, he delivers a strong performance that makes you almost root for him at times...before you realize that he wants to kill 80,000 people.  In contrast, the woman manipulating him is given a quick bit of backstory to explain her being part of Black September, but that's it.  

No subtext or motivation for you, lady!  The build-up to the climax is nicely-done and the actual pay-off is pretty successful.  

Given that the Film was made in 1977, the Optical Effects are...less than stellar at times.  John Frankenheimer used a real Goodyear Blimp for as much as he could, so that stuff looks real (since it was).  

All in all, Black Sunday is a Film most famous for its Poster, but a good Film does hide under there.  It also gives us this kind-of goofy face of death...

Next time, I cover an '80s Film about a Supercar.  It also features a climax that is very familiar.  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: WandaVision- Episode 5

 As another week ends, we look back on the crazy ride that the MCU is on.  What happened last week on..?

The Sitcom World of the Show is starting to crack as Vision begins to suspect something.

What do you mean 'take it again?'

Outside, SWORD is trying to make sense of things.

However, this is a conflict between management and our Heroes as to what to do.

Someone is going to make things worse...

Will Vision learn the truth?  

Can he take it?

Will the truth coming out be too much for our Heroes?

Of course, the Ending is a big one, but...no SPOILERS.  
That's what the rest of the Internet is for.

A fun, chaotic journey continues.  They realized that you can't be stuck permanently in the Sitcom World without it feeling 'one-note.'  You also can't fully abandon it, as that was a key aspect to how the Show felt so different.  So what do you do?  The answer is you do both, but keep things in balance.  Too much Sitcom and it might just be silly.  Too much time away and it's not the Show anymore.  They make the breaks count and they continue to use all of the Tropes well.  The kids feel right here and the Wacky Neighbor is certainly par for the course.  When we start to see beneath things, it gets really juicy though.  The Internet has 42,003 Theories, of course.  I try not to read too much into them, as one of them is bound to get it right- that's just the Law of Averages.  I'm fully on-board here and can't wait to see where they go.  It's a Show that manages to make you look forward to what is new and also manages to look back with good homages like this...

Next time, a new arrival...or is it.  What other tricks do they have up their sleeves?!?

New Flix: Batman- Soul of the Dragon (2021)

 A new Batman Film?  A '70s Homage?  Why not?

Richard Dragon is a Kung-Fu Spy.  

The Film wants you to know that he's an asshole, so he eats an apple.

This guy is an asshole because he kills people, leads a Cult and wants to steal stuff.

'70s Batman is recruited by Dragon to help out.

Why would he do that?

Well, because he was one of six people- that included Dragon- who trained under O-Sensei in Nanda Parbot.

Included in the group are the future Lady Shiva and Bronze Tiger.

Can Batman suit up (for like 2 Scenes) to stop the Cult of Kobra?

Will the combined forces of Batman, Shiva, Dragon and Bronze Tiger work together to save reality?

It's an Elseworlds Tale (unofficially), so who knows?

To find out, stream/rent the Film.

Fun stuff.  The Plot is pretty simple.  Batman learns Kung-Fu, finds an evil to stop and then has to do it.  There's some nice nuance though too.  You get a set of characters that have their own motivations.  Shiva isn't a stock Character going along for the ride, nor is Bronze Tiger or Bronze Tiger.  They each have their own reasons for doing what they do.  It isn't a huge thing, mind you, but it is something.  The Action is the real draw here.  In the spirit of the Era, there's lots of Kung-Fu and R-Rated Action to see.  A few heads to missing- I won't lie.  It is done well and really feels right.  As many have noted, Batman is *not* made out to be the be-all, end-all fighter here.  Yes, back in the '70s under the late Denny O'Neill, the 'Bat-God' trope was not yet born.  As I joked about before, there's not much *actual* Batman in this one.  The Plot- which involves a more James Bond-style adventure- isn't that well-suited for it.  In the Film's defense, they make him suiting up a big deal psychologically and it does provide a key advantage at one point (no SPOILERS).  The Voice Acting Talent really shines here, from Michael Jai White's charismatic turn as Tiger to James Hong's always-reliable performance as O-Sensei.  If you like Batman and want something a little bit different, this sure is it.  I mean, you could do worse things than watch this.  For instance...

A fun, action-packed Film.  It isn't the most complex Plot, but it is a Kung-Fu Batman Story, so who cares?

Lost in Translation: White Chicks

Ghana gives so much to society.
For instance, great Movie Posters that they make themselves.

In this case, it is a Film that someone I know actually likes.

It's White Chicks...

I think they confused this Film with...um, a couple of things.

Why is a disfigured Samurai Cop in the bottom right?
Why is Chow Yun Fat using a Sniper Rifle?
Why do the Leads look more like David Duchovny's Character from Twin Peaks than themselves?

I don't know what fresh hell this is...but I love it!

Old School Horror: The Black Sleep (1956)

 A great Cast does not always a Classic Film make.  This is The Black Sleep, a 1956 Horror/Thriller with some big potential.  The Film is also important for a key historical reason.  

Right off the bat, you have to know who's in this Film. 
Basil Rathbone. 
Lon Chaney Jr. 
John Carradine. 
Tor Johnson. 
Bela Lugosi.  

How many notable names can you get for one Film?!?  As a bonus, it was Directed by Reginald Le Borg, who was behind the lens of a number of notable Films.  Jungle Woman, Weird Woman, Calling Dr. Death (both parts of the Inner Sanctum Series) and The Mummy's Ghost- just to name a few.  

Back to Lugosi, this would- unfortunately- be the final Film that he completed before his death.  Yes, his Test Footage/Random bits for Plan 9 don't count for this. 
So why is a Film with so many Stars/Attractions and a (dark) historical importance so forgotten? 
The Plot involves a mad Doctor, brain surgery and a random-ass Third Act.  To find out how this turns out, read on...

A man is sentenced to death for a murder he didn't commit.  His Doctor friend- Rathbone- gives him a formula that fakes his death and takes his body away.

He awakens as a free and 'dead' man.

The pair are up to no good, doing experimental surgery on people that the latter catches.  They are then drugged with the titular substance.

The guy on the right was supposed to be Peter Lorre, but his asking price was too high.

The 'dead' man is a Doctor and agrees to help Rathbone with his treatments.

His work involves brain surgery and it, well, is a work in progress.

One of his past subjects- Mongo (Chaney).

He used to be a Doctor, but the surgery made him a bit crazy.
His Daughter works with Rathbone, but it gets awkward when her Dad keeps trying to choke her to death.

Lugosi is another Subject, but he's better off- he's just mute.

Just don't try telling Bela (back when you could) that he was better off- he was pissed that he got no Dialog!

As enough time goes by the good Doctor and the Daughter suspect that more is going on.  They're right.

They see the previous subjects and find out that they are still alive, albeit mutated and/or crazy.

They also find out that the Doctor was framed for his crime (shocking, I know) by Rathbone and the 'victim' is still alive.  It's another mute, angry-faced Tor Johnson role.

The show-stealer- an absolutely bonkers John Carradine as a man who thinks that he's a Soldier in The Crusades!  It's like he's from a different Movie!

It all leads to a silly confrontation that ends in all of the bad people being killed...in pretty lame ways.

The Cops arrive and...that's it.  The End.

A Film that should be great.  Basil Rathbone as a Mad Scientist- great.  Lon Chaney Jr as a mute marauder- good.  Lugosi as, well, anything- good.  It's just a shame that the big attractions don't get to do nearly enough.  

Carradine appears so late in the Film that he can't do much more than steal the Show.  He's such a fun, random character that him being in here like this is just plain weird.  He belongs in a big, broad Comedy and this ain't one!  Chaney is, well, that's about all he can really do.  You don't lose much with him here- no disrespect.  The same goes with Tor, although his towering presence is a nice treat.  You get a mute killer showdown that we were denied when New Line didn't go with Jason vs. Michael back in the day.  Even if it is brief, seeing the pair have a face-off is a bit like that 'tease a match for later during a big match' thing that the WWF/E likes to do.  

Lugosi is wasted here the most as I genuinely can't talk about anything interesting he does.  He exists in the background (see above) and that's about it.  What excuse do you have?  

Rathbone does shine here, as he was clearly determined to make his villain more than one-dimensional.  You get the same basic beats that you'd later get with Classics like Eyes Without a Face (got no human race) or the less-classic Mansion of the Doomed.  Good for him.  

The Film is pretty damn dry and that's a shame.  You can have some fun with this one, but...eh, it's just alright.  

On the plus side, this Film is the context for this weird picture you see making the rounds on Google...

Next time, I cover another Black Film.  Will Bela get a second chance?  Stay tuned...

New Streaming: WandaVision- Episode 4

 Another week and another bit of trippy Prestige TV.

Oh wait, something a bit different this time on...

This Episode shows us the outside perspective- literally.

We see Monica Rambeau- the little girl from Captain Marvel- and Agent Woo- from Ant-Man & The Wasp- are sent to investigate a missing...Town?!?

Speaking of Side Characters, we also get the MCU return of Darcy Lewis, last seen in 2013's Thor: The Dark World.

She's called in to investigate as well, since SWORD has no idea what the issue is, so it's 'all hands of deck' to decipher it.

She discovers a strange energy signature and taps into the Show within a Show called WandaVision.

That's clever enough to not be obnoxiously-META, but just barely.

We see other aspects of how the team tried to contact those inside the missing Town, which gives context to earlier Scenes.

There's also a big reveal or two near the end, but no SPOILERS.  To find out how it goes, stream the Episode.

A neat aside and a twist on the usual Prestige TV Show Cliche.  Way back when I reviewed more of these Shows that weren't Comic Book-based, I talked about certain patterns.  One of which was the Random Flashback Episode, which often came in the middle of big points in the Story.  American Gods did it for the Wife, The Handmaid's Tale did it for the Husband and so on.  This is the same thing, but feels a bit more organic.  We just had a big break point in the Story with the end of Episode 3, so it was organic.  In contrast, the other Shows would just drop everything and tell you backstory.  Those Episodes were good, but a bit forced.  What they do here which I really like is tie this Show extra-firmly into the MCU.  We get Characters we haven't seen in a long time and they feel like a natural fit for the Story.  This isn't like the old Marvel tradition of having Spider-Man/Wolverine Guest-Star in a Book's 1st or 2nd Issue to drum up sales.  I can't wait to see how this part of the Story and the WandaVision part integrate more.  While I do that, I have to wonder how long it is until this little guy ends up in BestBuy as a Promotional Tie-In...

Next time, a new Episode.  Can I say more without SPOILERS?  See you then...