Thursday, February 23, 2023

Tubi Thursday: Escape to Black Tree Forest (2012)

 The Sequel has to be better, right? 
He's had more experience and knows what he's doing now, right?
Right?!?

The Film opens by showing what we clearly didn't see last time- our Final Girl stabbing the killer.

Is he dead now?
Are they ever?
2 weeks (and three minutes of boring Credits) later, she's brought home from an Asylum...apparently.

She's fine, right?

No, another Strode- seriously, they use that name- goes crazy.
Not Jamie/Laurie stabs her Mom and leaves.

Her Dad, eventually, goes after her.
She decides to dress up like the killer she just killed (since she must kill again) and wander around in the Woods.

So what happens after 20 minutes of setup?
Nothing- for nearly 40 minutes!

Instead, let's follow a new group of dead bodies...I mean, people going shopping, going swimming and- eventually- going to the titular Forest.

Do you want to just make Nature Documentaries?
Lots of filler as we see Dad driving, a random Cop driving, an old guy called in to help...and immediately killed.

Wait- I thought she was in the Forest.

After we get the Intro of the last Film AGAIN as a 'story,' the group splits up and things finally happen.

Yawn.  The End.
Did he somehow make a worse Film?  In a way, yes.

All things considered, the first Film was just so generic, unimaginative and just plain there that I couldn't even be mad.  Like a passive aggressive parent, I was 'just disappointed.'

To be fair, Dustin Ferguson had only made SIX FILMS at this point.  Now- in 2012- he's made nine.

This one is worse because he clearly knows what he did wrong and just pivots entirely the wrong direction.  Spending so much time on filler is just not helpful to anyone.  I guess it pays off, but does anyone care after so much nothing happening.

Seriously, they don't even 'escape' to said Forest until nearly an hour into this *checks timer* 76-minute Film (I don't count End Credits, do you?)!  Pick up the pace, Movie- you're being passed by the fat kid in Gym!

If you make a boring Film once, it's bad.  If you do it a second time after you should know better, it's worse.  It makes you just want to, I don't know, lay down in a Field.

On the plus side, Black History Month via Tubi Thursday is done.  I can put off watching the third Film for some time.

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