Quick Reviews: Galaxy of Horrors

With all the focus on Outer Space and Horror right now, I might as well do an Outer Space Horror Anthology Film...

In Deep Space, a man is stuck in his Cryo Pod.  The A.I. won't let him out and tries to calm him by endlessly-playing Sci-Fi Horror Shorts.

Yes, that is the Framing Device.  Yes, it is silly.

There are 8 Stories, so I really can't go in-depth on them here (especially if I want to avoid SPOILERS).  So here is just a taste...

- A tale of a contaminated future.
- A tale of a strange, possibly-living Computer.

- A tale of a man with a curious phone app a la Siri.  Can he trust it?

- A tale of people trying to create life differently in a bleak future.
- A Terry Gilliam-esque tale of a linked-in future where transactions can be fatal.

- For an Alien connection, a tale of intrigue in Deep Space on a floating ship (also in B&W for no reason).

- A tale of weird creatures revealing themselves in a future Nightclub.
- A tale of a woman drifting in Space where the destination may be worse than her current location.

To find out how these all work out, watch the Film.

Well, it is what it is.  Anthology Films are a tricky thing.  Have too many parts and they end up being too loosely-connected and random.  Have too few parts and each one is never quite the right length.  As this one goes, there are really too many for my taste.  The biggest problem is just how vague the Theme is.  This is just Sci-Fi Horror.  Some are set in Space, while some on Earth.  Some are in the far future, while some are in the vague present.  Some have Aliens, while some just have Technology.  The individual parts are all so different that this hardly feels like a Film.  Having said that, most of the individual parts are pretty interesting on their own.  With a different connection and some variety in the wraparound part, this could definitely work.  As it is, Galaxy of Horrors is a mish-mash that never quite gels.  Just to add to the connections, here's something a la Star Wars...

The Anthology format and randomness of the tales keeps it from building momentum.  The individual parts will either work or fail you on their own though.

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Link (1986)

In defense of this one, it is the closest one to being honest.

On the flip-side, it advertises how well it did in France.  Don't tell America that!

So let's check out yet another Poster for Link...

While a bit odd, I do like this one.  It doesn't lie about the Plot for the most part.

That said, Link's pose is not exactly scary here...

This didn't get too much touch-up, but I did play with Blurring a little.  It hopefully makes the foreground stand out a bit more hopefully.

Still a good one, if a strange one too.

Quick Reviews: DC's Vixen

As the World now awaits the new Black Lightning, let us take a look back at the previous Black Superhero made for the CW('s Streaming Site)...

In a Cold Open, we flash forward to Vixen being chased by The Arrow and The Flash.  How did we get here?

It all goes back to her past, when she was gifted a mysterious necklace by her absent Mother.

The guys with their own Shows show up and offer to help her, but she wants to go her own way.

People come looking for her magic totem.  On top of that, they are family!

Can she get in touch with her powers to become a Hero?

Will she become the Vixen that she needs to be? 

To find out, watch the Film/Episodes.

Vixen is actually pretty good, so why was it only on CW Seed?  It is only a shame that this had to be on their Website.  Just like Star Trek: Discovery, I have to ask why this was only on the Website.  That strangeness aside, Vixen is pretty darn good.  There is a lot of exposition to dump into this one, but it mostly works.  The Story works, introducing all of the people and the information that you need.  The use of the other CW Characters is a little forced at times- like why is only Firestorm there to save Central City-, but it makes the Universe feel unified.  Even if they aren't the best Voice Actors, it is still nice to hear all of the Actors here.  Vixen's Powers are presented in a neat, cinematic way.  The way they show the transparent spirits when she summons their powers looks nice.  This 'Movie' is a collection of shorter Episodes (7 in total), so the mix is a little odd at times.  Overall, the whole thing works to set up a Character that would show up...twice on Arrow in the next 2 Years.  Yes, I know that she was meant to be in Legends of Tomorrow.  In any event, you should check this out if you like the CW Shows, even if it does constantly tease bigger things.  In a Film/Show with magic Totems, the one thing I question is this- how did this guy hack into a bunch of TVs a mile away with his Cell Phone?

The cutting of the Episodes together is a little awkward at times.  Even so, this is a good, fun Origin Story.

Quick Reviews: Beneath (2013)

Is this Larry Fessenden Film just another 'fish tale' or something that doesn't get enough attention?  

To find out, read on...

A group of soon-to-be-College-Students go to cross a Lake to- you guessed it- party.

They have all sorts of random drama- two brothers feud, a girl with conflicts, etc.- as they cross.

When a group of them decides to go swimming as one of them tries to warn them about a vague threat, something shows up!

It's just a fish.  

What is the big...

Oh, I see.

Drama ensues as this Monster Movie turns into Melodrama as the group debates how much bad they must go to survive.

Who will live?  Who will die?  Will you like any of them by the end?

To find out, watch the Film.

Not a bad Film, but not what I expected.  

What sounds like an interesting, if claustrophobic Creature Feature is much more of a Morality Play.  Yes, you could make a case that *most* Horror Films are some kind of Morality Play.  

This one is much more overt, as the Creature is just the thing keeping them in the Boat.  There isn't much to this creature- he's just a killer Fish.  

The real hook- pun intended- is supposed to be the interaction between these Characters.  You will either like it or you won't.  

I started out liking everyone, but really didn't by the end.  Nobody was really a good person near the completion of the Film.  If I don't like you, why do I care much about your plight?  

Beneath is an interesting Character Drama hiding in a Creature Feature.  That is either an interesting aspect of the Movie or a complete misdirection.  

This is still a good Film overall...but it isn't exactly what I was hoping for.  

On the plus side, you get to play the 'Which Film/TV Show Do I Know Him From?' with this guy...

It's 'Breaking Bad.'

An interesting idea for a Film.  The problem for me was that I just didn't like anyone by the end one bit.

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Appointment With Fear (1985)

I found this online and just felt like 'prettying' it up a bit.

This one is a bit of a mystery to me, but at least I can still enjoy the Art Design...

I have no idea what any of this means...but isn't it awesome?!?

There's no way that this one is actually this cool, right?

For those that were wondering, here is what it looks like normally.

Much less cool- if you ask me.

I still love that giant knife though.  What is this Film even about?

Pilot Wings: The Handmaid's Tale

After all of the hype, how is Hulu's Netflix Killer?

Based on a famous Book, this was made into a less-than-well-respected Film a couple of Decades ago.  With a Renaissance in Television, is now the time for a proper Adaptation?

Let's see...

In a bleak (unless you are Mike Pence) Future, infertility has struck like a Plague.  Fertile Women are forced into subservience by the rich and powerful.

In other words, it is Bizarro World China.

We are introduced to this Dystopia by way of June, who initially makes a run out of America.

If we can't protect our fertile blonde women, who can we?!?

Caught and forced to become a Handmaid, she learns that the training process is arduous and draconian.

See- I know big words!

She is forced to live with and be impregnated by the Major.  Joy.

 His Wife is on-board, but clearly not happy about the situation.  That won't things awkward.

Can our Heroine escape this life of, well, rape and servitude?  Can a Revolution occur?

To find out, watch the Show.

Dark, but interesting stuff.  The landscape for TV Shows not actually made for TV is a big one.  Netflix has about 30, Amazon has a few notable ones and even Crackle has 6 different Dan Harmon Shows that aren't Rick & Morty.  You have to do something good and big to stand out.  You don't want to be Marco Polo, do you?  In this case, Hulu succeeds!  The Handmaid's Tale is a pretty famous Story and it has never quite been done justice.  With so much topical stuff going on, it is a great time for this.  Politicization aside, the Show has a strong Story, good Acting and a Setting that draws you in.  Even though I'm not a Women and will never get pregnant (unless those damn Aliens return!), I can still relate.  This Pilot gives you a good, solid Character to see the World through.  You feel for her and want her to succeed.  Society is literally against her, though, so good luck with that.  I'm only one Episode in and I can't wait to see where it goes.  The Show does a good job of being loud when it needs to and deathly quiet when it needs to as well.  Whether you believe in Feminism or watched Last Man Standing (zing!), you should check this out.  If you don't watch this good, interesting Show, she will know!

Good start to what is hopefully a very good Show.  Is it worth saying that you pay for Hulu though?

Impossibly-Cool Cover Art: Shakma

Since I have a few more Link Posters to share, I might as well space it out.

Instead, how about a bit of misleading (and great) Art for a different killer Monkey/Ape Film- Shakma?  Alright, other Alec.

This is a neat-looking Poster.  The creature looks angry and scary as hell.

Remind me again- how does it look in the Film?

Not the worst lie from one of these- that is still the German one where they just added Michael Meyers for no reason- but a pretty big one.

The Film is...bad, but kind of quirky fun.  This Poster is just pure Horror.

Also lies.  Pure lies.

Mother(of Tears)'s Day Celebration

In lieu of doing a most-likely-terrible Film for the Holiday (and the fact that I don't have time), how about I pay tribute to a fun, pulpy one instead?

2007's The Mother of Tears is a divisive Film for many.  It has to follow the well-regarded Suspiria and the well-respected Inferno.

It is also a Sequel made 27 years later.  Who doesn't love those?

Is the Film as inventive as the first Film?  No.  Is it as stylish as the second Film?  No.

Does it feature Witches, Torture, Nudity and all sorts of craziness?  Yes. 

For that reason, I hold a soft spot for this Film.

Is it truly great?  No.  However, it is true Dario Argento insanity and I celebrate it.

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Pilot Wings: American Gods

As someone who tries to be 'hip' and 'with the times,' I'll take a break from obscure Action and Sci-Fi Films to cover a much talked about new Show.

From the mind of three-time Doctor Who Writer Neil Gaiman comes the long-awaited TV Adaptation of some Book.  Well, it worked for George R.R. Martin!

A man tells the tale of some Vikings who sought land and wealth, only to find pain.  They sought help from the Gods, who weren't too sharing.

In the Present, this man is being released from Prison.  What could possibly go wrong?

Do his strange dreams and visions mean that something bad is going to happen?  Is it something good?

As bad escalates for him, he meets a mysterious man- Ian McShane- who offers him a job, while also showing that he knows a lot about him for no clear reason.

Is his sales pitch to be believed or is it just a bunch of bull?

Yes, I know that it is a Buffalo/Bison.  Thanks.

As things only seem to get worse for our Hero, another stranger appears in his life.  Joy.

Can he reclaim what little is left of his life or will all this craziness be too much?

To find out, watch the Series.

An odd, but interesting Pilot.  The Hour is full of interesting visuals, bizarre moments and intrigue.  We get an interesting and relatable Character.  We can (hopefully) only imagine to have our life fall apart so badly and in such a short amount of time.  We feel for him as Reality seems to be out to get him.  We are as curious as he is about the mysterious, seemingly-magical people that suddenly appear in his life.  We want answers just like he does.  We want to be there with him as he learns the truth and hopefully manages to deal with the situation.  The Acting is quite good here.  The Story gives us many interesting Characters.  I could have probably done with a Murray in a Sex Scene though.  As I have not read the original Story, I don't know where this is going.  Even so, I'm curious to see it all play out.  In addition, I finally know why I have kept seeing this all week...

Damn interesting Show so far.  If all of the strange build-up goes somewhere, it should be great!

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1986)

Another Sidaris Film and another Poor Bastard of Cinema- this time as a duo!

In Hard Ticket to Hawaii, a Couple is left on the Island for their Honeymoon.

Long after they stopped mattering to the Plot, they reappear doing a fashion shoot.

What could possibly ruin their fun?

Why, a deadly animal, of course!

The occasionally-important killer snake appears and kills them both!  They sure mattered.

Their bodies- and on inexplicable picture taken- are discovered later by our Heroines.

In summary, they go on Vacation, have the misfortune to travel with our Leads and die a violent death for no reason.

The moral: don't fly Bikini Model Airlines.  Just don't.