Leave Me Stallone: Judge Dredd

 If he's the Law, can I get some anarchy, please?

This is Judge Dredd, specifically the 1995 Film version.  I'm not a huge fan/follower of Judge Dredd.  I know how much this Film annoyed people though.

The Plot involves Dredd trying to maintain order in Mega City.  However, a hidden evil is released and he's targeted.  Can he save the day alongside a terrible Comedian?

Director Danny Cannon has had an interesting Career, directing Episodes for a number of Shows like Gotham, Shameless and CSI (often the Pilots).  In Film, he'd go on to make I Know What You Did Last Summer and Geostorm.

The Writing was done by William Wisher Jr (who co-wrote Films like T2 and The 13th Warrior) and Steven E. de Souza (who wrote/co-wrote Films like The Running Man, Die Hard and 48 Hours).

With so much talent, how did things go so wrong?

The Film begins with a long text crawl.  Joy.
At least it was narrated by James Earl Jones (RIP).

Basically, the World was mostly wrecked and people live in a series of Megalopolis'.  The compressed nature of this made crime go up, so Judges enact the law- usually at the end of a gun!

Is this too much to throw at people in the first few minutes?  Yes.

Anyhow, our Viewpoint Character is *#%^ me.... Rob Schneider.

We do see a quick glimpse at the Income Equality, but that's just in passing and never mentioned again.

Dredd- Stallone- is a famous Judge who is both a real know-it-all and a strict enforcer of the Law (LAAAAWWWW).

He doesn't care why you did something- he's going to send you to Jail...or just straight up kill you.

Deep in the building, a guy in power visits Hannibal Lecter...I mean, someone different.

He's a former Judge with a deep connection to our Hero.

He escapes, of course.

He steals some Judge gear and a gun and kills a Reporter (the bad guy from Halloween 6 and the stuffy Dad from Dharma & Greg).

He does so right in front of the guy's home security camera (accidentally prescient, Movie) and the guy helpfully yells out 'Dredd!' before he's shot.

A young Judge- Diane Lane?!?- defends him, but the case falls apart because the gun is literally coded to Dredd's DNA.

How did Armand Assante have it?!?

Dredd is sent to Prison and is put in the seat next to *sigh* Rob Schneider.

He sent him to jail what seems like days ago, so how are they both here at the same time?

Regardless, their ship is shot down and they kidnapped by cyborg cannibals led by Scott Wilson?!?

They escape and make it back to the City.

They get in through a vent that shoots flames every 30 seconds- why not?- and helpfully switches the angle of the flames.

You see, they are running towards it...and then it comes to them from behind...somehow.

In the City, Lane and a buddy realize that a picture of Dredd's family is fake and he's *dun dun dun* a Clone.

The Janus Project birthed him and Assante based on DNA from the Lead Judge (Max Von Sydow).  The latter is evil now.

Back in the City, our Heroes flee in just the most dated looking Hoverbike Chase.

Rob won't STFU the whole time, so, as punishment, I'm using this Screen Cap of him.

It all ends in a chaotic Finale.

Stallone vs. Assante!  Lane vs the barely used Joan Chen!  Rob Schneider vs. Comedy!

In the End, the Heroes win...but they are still down by about 60% of the Judges, so.... let's pose instead!

This Film is both a case of way too much Plot and also way too little.

The World requires simply too much building here and needs to be done by someone better.  The Writers have some great Resumes, but this isn't good.

So much dropping of information that people know to people that know it just for the Audience to be informed.

Why not have Dredd lecture some Students?  Given that the Plot involves Cloning, why not have the info uploaded to one?

This is a small positive I will say- this Plot (at its core) could work. 
The catch- it needs to be the 2nd Film.

Make a Film where we soft-establish things, we see Dredd in action with a simple villain with less personal motivations.  Let us see Dredd as he is and THEN bring in the personal villain and the 'everything you know is wrong' backstory.

When we learn it here, we barely know or care about him.

Positives- some genuinely neat Practical Effects (especially the Robot).  Good stuff hidden here.

On the infinitesimal chance that a Studio Head (or their Reader) sees this, make a Plot like this (with a Judge Death) as a Sequel to Dredd- you know, the Film that you already made and was great.

Otherwise, people will only know the Story from a Film with shots like this....

A final Stallone Film to cover.  This time, he WAS the Law and now he's back.  Yo quiero tres conchas de mar!

Tubi Thursday: Jack's Back (1988)

With all of the talk of James Spader coming back to the MCU, let's talk about another return.

Can James Spade make this a Cult Classic?

A Doctor- Spader- is trying to help people at a Free Clinic while a Copycat Killer of Jack the Ripper is on the loose.

Weirdly, the Film is set after the first 4 murders (technically the last one happens in the Intro) and on the day of the last one.

He checks on a woman from his past who he saw that day at the Clinic (it's a small world!).

He finds her dead and pursues her killer, but is hung up by a rope.

So, who just woke up in bed?

We change the Narrative to follow his twin brother- who they subtly hinted at earlier- who saw his brother's death in his dream.

He tries to solve the case, but the Cops think that he's the killer...despite him barely qualifying and having no motive.

He starts hanging around with the fellow Doctor who happens to be the only Female Character they haven't killed violently yet.

Don't worry- we see her in lingerie, so that's close enough.

Can Spader #2 save the day?
Will there be a fake out or three?

To find out, stream the Film now.

A good Film, even if it coasts by on atmosphere over substance.

There's little here to make you think of this as an American Giallo.  It sure tries to be though.  Spader's Character definitely is in the same vein of one that Dario Argento might write.

The Film is mostly about how he works the case with the Police not helping him.

The problem is that there's both no mystery and too much mystery.  We 'know' who the killer is early on.  Oddly, the guy doesn't know it, but should.

Of course, you know that it won't be that simple.  At least it was an excuse to use more Robert Picardo- I'm okay with that.

The Film isn't quite what I expected, but still pretty good.
I guess I'm glad he's back, but I won't think about this one in a month or so.

Spader didn't hear that, right?

A Film that looks and feels really neat.  I just wish that there was more there...there.  Make sense?

Shudder Day: In A Violent Nature (2024)

 A Film that flips the Script.
In this case, it is pretty literally.

This is...

The Film is a riff on Films like Friday the 13th, The Burning and Bloody Murder.  Okay, maybe not that last one.

In any event, we see a killer rise from you grave...but this time we are specifically following him.

The Plot of a Masked Killer Hacks Up 'Teens' in the Forest' Film plays out, but we only see it (mostly) from his perspective.

That means long walks in the Forest, only bits of exposition and usually only meeting the Leads when they are about to be murdered.

One of said Leads took a necklace from the killer's grave, which freed his spirit.

They exposition dump at a Camp Fire (in a way that kind of cheats the setup) about how he was killed by accident and came back for revenge.

10 years later, he's up again and starts taking them out.

This unique view of the Film lends itself to some interesting visuals.

The high point for me is the Lake Scene, which is a slow build to an understated Death Scene.

The next one, is well, whatever the opposite of understated is.  Very Stated?  

Shouted, I guess?

Either way, I won't forget it?

Who will live?  Who will die?
To find out, stream the Film now.

A Film that really gets summed up by one phrase- choices were made.

Early on, the Film is a bit slow.  The choice to solely follow the slow-moving killer is one that will give you mixed results.

Once you get into things, the Plot is interesting enough and you know just enough about the killer to at least understand him.  
Unlike Jason Voorhees killing Camp Counselors a few Decades after the ones that failed him, this guy has a goal and clear motivations.

It's a Film that really works when it is good and really drags when it is bad.  

Simply put, they spend too much time on some Scenes- the prolonged mutilation of one guy OR the 3rd Slow Walk in the Forest- and not enough on others.

As noted, this perspective choice means that we don't get to know the Leads/Victims.  Even if the goal is to subvert expectations, we still need to know the people.

I will also freely admit to skimming through the Ending (mostly because I had to go to work) too.  I get it and it's not bad...but it is a prolonged.

I'm not sure that a Film like this could work twice.  When you fully subvert a Genre once, can you do it again?

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to pitch a new propery to James Gunn- Bee Man!

A Film whose gimmick will make you enjoy some moments...and make you check your phone during others.  It is a neat subversion that I'm still glad that I saw though.

Unlucky Day: Friday the 13th- The Series 'Tales of the Undead'

 Another Friday the 13th, the second of two this Year.

Was it worth the wait to catch another Episode of those Cult Classic Show?

Let's find out as we look at...

This Episode features a crazy-looking guy being obsessed with a rare Comic, but he can't buy it.

Our Hero- John D. LeMay- is revealed to also be a Comic Book Fan- at least for this Episode.

He also obsesses over the Comic and goes to leave the Shop.

The crazy guy breaks open the case and takes the Comic.

He grabs it and he transforms via Comic Panels into the Character from the Book!

He kills the Owner and knocks our Hero aside.

John goes to the Artist- Ray Walston- and he's a bit bitter about how the Character was 'stolen' from him (think Siegel and Schuster).

He finds out who took the Comic and confronts him, stabbing them with an Award he won.

Now he has the Comic and he wants revenge.

Before it happens, we learn from the Grandson of the Publisher that it wasn't exactly stolen.
He got paid for it...and then lost the money in a land deal.

Regardless, he confronts the man after our Heroes leave.

He transforms into the Robot and smashes the place up, killing the Publisher('s Grandson).

I guess his revenge sort of works...if you kill the son of the son of the person you're mad at.

The Leads figure out that an angry Walston wrote a Comic where the Character dies, but it was never published.

He tries to burn the pages- keeping him immortal as said Character-, but John reads the page.

It was the Award- written ironically at the time- so he uses that to kill Walston.

The End. 

A fun Episode, even if they muddy things up a bit.  Walston was wronged...or was he?  Sort of...I guess.

The idea that there are two killers/users of the device is an interesting twist.  I don't think I've seen that in the other Episodes I've done so far.

How unique is it overall?

The premise here is really silly.  I mean, why does the cursed comic let you become the Character?  Who made the curse?  Why?

I guess the idea is that Walston's rage leaked through his signature into the Comic....maybe...I dunno.

The Special Effects are stylized- which covers up the fact that they couldn't do morphing in 1987 on a TV Show Budget- and I kind of dig how cheesy they are.

As far as weird premises go, this one is up there.

Plus, the Robot is clearly *inspired* by a certain Space Knight...

A silly Episode, even by this Show's standards.  That said, they 100% commit to it, so fair play!

Tubi Thursday: Dr. Jekyll's Dungeon of Death (1979)

 A Film with a salacious Title- what could go wrong?

Like other Films of its ilk, is it a memorable Film?

This is a Film about a Mad Scientist.

Naturally, it begins with 2 guys beating the crap out of each other.

Wait- what?!?

We learn via Jekyll's Narration that he is experimenting with his Grandfather's Formula.

It brings out rage.

Oh, and he's kidnapped a Woman who he wants to marry.
Joy.

His House is full of people under his control.

A former Doctor is now his mindless servant (and looks like Blackenstein).
His Sister had a lobotomy 20 years ago and just makes weird faces.

If you like this guy narrating and abusing these people, you're in luck.

Oh, and more fighting.  Lots more fighting.

Seriously, the Film has 4 prolonged bits with people punching, kicking and screaming.

Joy.

Jekyll has invited the Father of the woman he kidnapped to his House, telling him that she was dead.

He wanted his help to perfect his formula.

Unfortunately, he's blisteringly insane.

As such, after even more fighting, he ends up with a bunch of dead folks- including the Dad- in his basement.

At least things finally pick up...right before its end.

The End.

A Film that is really strange...but that's about the nicest thing I can say.

The Film is so full of random people fighting- it's weird.  A good 40% of the Film is just unnamed people punching each other.

The titular Dr. Jekyll is full of himself.  He does more narration in this Film that David Attenborough has done in his entire life.

Leave one thought unspoken- please!

The whole Film feels like a good chunk of a Film...but they just filled it with cruelty, fighting and monologues.

The Director made this in 1979 after making two *ahem* Adult Films...so he never got the chance to prove what he could do.

Oh well.  Now let me enjoy my new wall art in peace...

A Film that feels like 60% of an interesting Film.  Sadly, this is the whole Film, so...

Should You Bother?: The Expendables- Extended Director's Cut

 I liked The Expendables when it came out in 2010.  It was a Film that knew what it wanted to be and was just that.

I've seen the 2nd and 3rd Films.  I'll see the 4th in time.

Hell, I own all 3 Films.

So, I was surprised as hell to find the Director's Cut sitting in a bin at a Thrift Store.  It was a thing?!?

Well, it is.  
It came out in 2011, released during Production of The Expendables 2.

This one is a bit complicated, but worth talking about...

A quick recap and then I can get into the meat of things...

The Expendables are a group of Mercenaries who take out bad guys.  They're a bit jaded, but take an assignment to help out an Island nation under a Military Coup...and the CIA.

They come in and save the day, growing as people and regaining some humanity in the process.

All yours now, Sly.

Should You Bother?

The big additions here are, get this, Character Moments.

Yes, in a Film like this.

Most of the new Content is about that, including showing a longer version of Statham's initial breakup with his girlfriend and having him talk about how it upsets him later as they explore the Island.

I've read some people say that this is annoying, but, let's be honest- we've all been around guys- and gals- like this.

Other Characters like Jet Li's Ying Yang (they all have codenames FYI) getting some time to talk here and a longer version of Toll Road (Randy Couture) talking about his past experiences.

He gets a nice monologue about his cauliflower ears and how they shaped him, which will surely run during his eventual Oscar Reel.

A small change, but a big one.

In the Theatrical Cut, we see Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren) hired by the bad guys to take out the group (after they fire him).

In the Extended Cut, we see how he got there- he stowed away on the Plane.

On top of that, HE offers them his services, not the other way around.

Mind you, he seems to die in both Cuts and then is just happily alive and back with the group at the End.

There are other changes here, like switching out Music Tracks to better fit the mood and using the Theme Song during the Climax.

Most of them, however, are very minute.

Simply put, Movies- unless you're Clint Eastwood Directing them- do multiple takes and pick the best (hopefully).

As such, nearly every Scene that isn't added is a slightly different take.

To give just one example, this is the Theatrical Cut...

...and the Extended Cut.

This is a Director's Cut after all, so he is just picking the takes that he preferred.

Verdict: Yes.

You can argue about whether he should have cut 'The Boys are Back in Town' from the Film and stuff like that, but honestly, this Version is what Sly wanted to make.

His Characters are more nuanced, have an Arc and are fully formed.

The Theatrical Cut is mostly there, but this is an improvement.

Immediate Response: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024)

 The Film is doing quite well.  Let's see how it was...

The Good
The Good

* This is a Tim Burton Film.  No question about it.

* Keaton and company shine in their return to their Roles here.  Everyone gets a bit of an Arc.

* The new Players- like Ortega, Thoreaux, Bellucci and Dafoe- are welcome additions.  They each bring something interesting and fun to the role.

* The Film feels like a more polished version technically, while not losing the visual aesthetic of the original.  This Beetlejuice is able to be much more of a Cartoon Character thanks to newer visual FX available.

* The Plot is a fun one, playing with the idea of the Afterlife and its rules.

* A fun Climax feels like a callback to, but not redo of, the Original.

The Bad

The Bad

* The Pacing of the Film is odd.  They spend lots of buildup on many Characters and the Arcs end abruptly.

* Burton spends a big chunk of time showing pictures of and referencing Jeffrey Jones here.  Why?!?

* The offhand way some Plot Points are explained is not bad, but quite silly.

* More Dafoe.  More Bellucci. 

* Poor Bob. :-)

A fun Film that works as a Sequel to a Classic.  It is a nice return to form for Tim Burton and company.

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Another 48 Hours (Part 1)

 A quick return to Eddie Murphy.

Let's look back at our first Poor Bastard in a while, this time for the somewhat-forgotten Sequel.

In the Film's opening, some bikers meet at a Desert Bar.

When 2 Cops show up, one of them recognizes one of the bad guys.

They are slow on the draw and get knocked out a window by gun shots...somehow.

The other Cop is taken out.

However, they aren't the real victims here.

The Bartender hides during the action, thinking that he needs to call for help.

However, he's met by the other Biker looming over the Bar.

Ruh roh!

Sure enough, he doesn't want him calling the Cops...er, more of them, I guess.

To quote Chris Claremont, 'Bang- you dead.'

In hindsight, the guy dealt with dangerous, usually armed Bikers all of the time.  He had to expect something like this.

The moral- stay off your phone.  It just might save your life!

Next up, a Poor Bastard so abrupt that it took me three tries to get my Screenshots.  It's that random and sudden.