Friday, August 10, 2018

Top 8 Silly Shark Films of Mondo Bizarro!

There are many, many Shark Films.  Thanks, Jaws!

I can't possibly cover them all, but I do my best.  Since there's a big new one coming out, let's look at some past ones that were just plain silly!

Exempt Films (since I didn't Review them): Sharknado 5, Mega-Shark vs. Colossus, 3-Headed Shark Attack, Ghost Shark, Atomic Shark, Swamp Shark, Robo-Shark, Super Shark and 5-Headed Shark Attack.

Exempt Films (since they are good): 47 Meters Down, Bait.

8. Dinoshark: It's a giant, prehistoric Shark (like some other Film coming out).  It does have a dinosaur-like head, so that makes it just silly enough to apply here.  It doesn't fight another creature or have extra limbs though, so it only ranks here.

7. Mega-Shark vs. Crocosaurus: After surprising the Internet with one Scene, this is the Sequel.  It isn't quite as silly as the Series would get- including a giant Russian Robot!), but it does feature dubious physics and soldiers with the world's worst aim!

6. Sharknado 2: I covered this as Rifftrax Live, but it counts.  The body count is higher.  The amount of Celebrity Cameos is higher.  The amount of Sharknados is higher.  Kurt Angle doing an accent.  It has it all!

5. Sand Sharks: Based on the idea that tiny, adorable Sand Sharks exist now and that other things existed in the past, we have this Film.  Dinosaur Sharks swim through rock and sand.  The CG is terrible.  At least it is the only one on the List with Brooke Hogan.  Oh, wait...

4. Two-Headed Shark Attack: Hello again, Brooke.  This Asylum Film features, well, guess.  How is a lop-sided Shark more dangerous?  Why is every killer Shark over 20 feet long?  Who kept casting Brooke Hogan in stuff?!?  Sadly, I didn't do the follow-ups (as mentioned above)- yet.

3. Sharktopus: Just say that out loud.  Roger Corman produced this, so it explains a lot.  The head of a shark and the body of an octopus.  It's not good.  It also gave us 2 Sequels- that I didn't review- in the form of Sharktopus vs Pteracuda and Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf.

2. Mega-Shark vs. Mecha-Shark: It was still not the last, but it is the last one I reviewed.  After 2 Films, we get a new Shark (with no explanation) and a sillier nemesis- a giant, robot shark.  Poor Alumni from Stargate: SG1 and Law & Order have to pilot it.  The physics here is just bonkers, so it gets to be this high.

1. Sharknado- The 4th Awakens: The whole Series just kept getting stupider. They went from a silly premise to trying to top themselves and then to Space! Now that we've been to Space, we might as well introduce multiple elemental version, a cyborg and mech suits!

I can only imagine how dumb Part 5 was and how bad Part 6 will be!

To be honest, I thought I did more of these. Even so, these 8 are a pretty solid set of terrible Shark Films and more than anyone should watch.

There's more coming to Syfy this Weekend, so...enjoy?

No comments:

Post a Comment