Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Wuxia Week: Legend of the Drunken Tiger

After so many generic films about dead masters, embarrassed clans and kidnapped princesses, someone had to just make something completely crazy. Naturally, this film has nearly been forgotten and only has a crappy DVD release to show for it. How about I let you know about this movie and why you should track down a pan-and-scan copy just to have it? I don't know- that sounds like a lot of work...oh, alright. This is...
Our film begins with some jerks stomping their way towards a bar full of people. One of those men in the bar is a drunken idiot. Let's ignore him and focus on...oh wait, he's our hero. Dammit! He gets involved in the situation when the men coming looking for trouble and they...disturb his bird that he brought with him. That's a good enough for me. The stereotypical old master- although, he does not have a white beard- shows up and challenges the bad leader to a fight. They lock up and...turn into stunt doubles that are about half their weight that flips and spin. The pair return to normal when the good guy wins and the bad guys depart...for now. We learn that their is some sort of political negotiation going on, but let's focus instead on the drunken idiot. Good call, movie! They learn that our hero is an expert in drunken kung-fu, which is good since he is barely ever sober. We also get a spear exhibition from one of the women. That pushes the plot forward- thanks!
This movie is not sure what it wants to be at times- an action film, a drama or a comedy. On one hand, the fights have been pretty good (and remain so). At the same time, there is some drama involving local politics that barely seems to go anywhere until the 3rd Act. More on that thing later. We are also treated to two different drunken kung-fu exhibitions by our lead- impressive, but pointless. The comedy comes in one part where our hero pretends to be a ghost to mess with some guy. Um, hurray? Now are you ready to have your minds blown? Too late to say 'No!'
Right after an exhibition, the film abruptly explains that a giant army was formed in 1900 to battle China at the command of a corrupt official & take over the Province that the film is set in. Those countries: Japan, Germany, Austria, Italy, France, England and America. You mean, the Boxer Rebellion? I could have sworn that it was done to stop Chinese people from killing Christian missionaries. Close enough. The film dramatically turns into a film of rebels fighting a military power. What the hell inspired that sudden change? Oh well, it's still better than Tokyo Zombie. Suddenly, our drunken idiot is now the key figure in the fight against, well, everyone else in the world.The real selling point of the movie is completely insane action scene at the end and the odd finale. After most of our leads die, our hero runs off into a field and is pursued by some *snicker* Yankees. So many crazy things happen in this scene that it is almost hard to describe in full. At one point, he kicks a soldier across the field as another dragon kicks over the man! Using Tekken-esque physics, our hero locks his body around one man whilst upside-down and flips him through the air, slamming him down and choking him out. One idiot gets kicked, nips up to his feet, only to get kicked again! He won't stay down! The high point is the man who tries to run away, only for our hero to flip through the air and give him what can only be described as a 'flying reverse headbutt.' Who thinks of this? After all of that, our hero meets up with the lone, surviving woman and...jumps into the ocean & swims away. The End? Evidently so.This movie is just completely random and insane. How does it turn into a different movie in the last forty minutes or so? Why is it so obsessed with showing people doing martial-arts exhibitions? How the hell did Germany join a union of country when it was not called Germany at the time?!? Here is the real kicker to all of this: despite the quality of this film stock, this movie was made in 1991! Did they give it the Grindhouse treatment or something? Did someone just piss all over the film stock and wipe it clean with a thick, scratchy towel? Will I make this whole paragraph out of questions and not answer them? The bottom line: if you like absurdity, track this movie down. At most, it will probably cost you a couple bucks.Up next, a film that features a weapon called The Solar Ray of Death. What else do you need to know? Stay tuned...

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